#lexiee

I gave myself a time limit of a month after graduation to just relax and enjoy nothingness. But it's also been a month since I left him. On Friday it would have been 3 years..

He meant so much to me. I love him. But what we had wasn't healthy for growth as people. We were starting different chapters in our lives. At some point our paths drifted.

I blame myself because I wanted to keep moving. I want to be so much more. And he was just starting his next chapter in life. It was important he learned from it to find who he was and wanted in life. He has to do it not me and the things I want. His choices.

I know I was being selfish. But I have been waiting for my moment in life. My family has always had expectations of me. They forced me to live here and go to school. To make money. They controlled me.

But I have a bachelors degree. That's it that's all they wanted from me. And now I can decide what I want.

I want to travel. I want to move around the country and work. I want to experience different perspectives of life. This is something I need to do.

And I've been planning this moment since I was 14 yrs old and my life changed.

I want to live my best life.