Nov 28, 2025
Happy Lex Foster Day!
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Happy Lex Foster Day!
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‘Not Ethan.’ That’s what Webby told her.
‘Not Ethan, Blue Blood, Deadly Songs’
That’s all Hannah had from Webby.
She and Lex were running from a bunch of people singing, they had just been trying to meet up at the park with Ethan like they had planned, but people started to surround them and sing.
Hannah freaked out so they ran.
They ran until they ran into someone.
“Babe! Oh you’re okay!” Lex smiled seeing it was Ethan,
Ethan smiled, before Hannah noticed something from under his shirt.
“BLUE BLOOD! NOT ETHAN!” she screamed, right as Ethan started to sing.
“This town is shit,
A total letdown,
Sun up to sun down,
A sad filled pit.”
Lex backed up from him.
“Babe, you’re scaring me..”
Ethan ignored her, and kept up with his song.
“It's time to flip the switch,
The problem is serious,
Not being delirious,
But it's time to ghost,
And when the sun shines down upon me,
I’ll know I’m righteous babe,
Forget this ‘crisis’ babe,
And when the sun shines down over Cali,
The future’s priceless, babe
The past a virus, babe
'Cause we’re Califor-M.I.A
M.I.A”
He grabbed Lex’s hands.
“Let’s be Califor-M.I.A”
Ethan pulled away, dancing to a beat they really couldn’t hear.
Hannah screamed again.
“NOT ETHAN! NOT ETHAN!”
“It beats being broke,
In this day and ages,
What's the point of wages?
If you can't afford a smoke.
It's not a trope!
You can be an actress,
'Cause you’ve got practice,
And I’ve got hope,”
He grabbed Lex’s hand, and Hannah’s hand with his other.
Hannah tried to pull away, but Ethan had a firm grip.
“And when the sun shines down upon us,
We’ll know we’re righteous, babe.
Just join the crisis, babe.
And when the sun shines down over Cali,
We won’t need a license,
'Cause love will drive us!”
He let Hannah go, turning to Lex, bringing her closer to him.
“Please be Califor-M.I.A
Soon missing in action,
Addition by subtraction,
Let’s be Califor-M.I.A!”
Lex pulled away, realizing Hannah was right. This wasn’t Ethan.
“We’ll be Califor-M.I.A
M.I.A!”
Ethan walked closer, the end of the song here, some blue goo falling from his mouth.
“ ‘Cause we’re Califor-
M.
I.
A.”
He held out the last note an impressively long time until he was cut off with a crash.
Lex and Hannah looked up at who hit Ethan over the head to see a small group of adults, one holding the blue stained trash can lid.
“Are you Kids okay?”
—————
And the ever long waited part 2!
Hope y’all enjoyed.
You weren’t BORN bi. You CHOSE to watch Black Friday and get to CaliforM.I.A. and you CHOSE to watch Lex and Ethan dance. God didn’t do this. You did.
Lex: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Ethan: I don’t know...
Lex: Nothing, they just waved.
Ethan: oh
Lex: Do you sea what I did there?
Ethan: uh no..?
Lex: I’m shore you didn’t
Ethan: If it takes me 2 minutes to eat a whole chicken tender. How many chicken tenders can I eat on the way to California?
Lex: I don’t know Ethan, you do the maths.
Ethan: ...
Lex: *bursts into uncontrollable laughter*
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Am I writing another Lethan mini AU? Yes and here it is:
Ethan: *Sobbing*
Lex: Why are you crying?
Ethan: We don’t have any cookies...
Lex: Then go get some?
Ethan: oh wait I’m an adult. I CAN DO THAT! THANKS LEX! *runs to shops*
Ethan: Tennis is the sexiest sport.
Lex: How much weed have you smoked today?
Ethan: All you hear is moans Lex! I’m not crazy!
Lex: Well...
This is my take on Lex, Ethan and Hannah baking cookies.
Lex: Ok how long do we put them in for?
Hannah: The box says 350°c for 20 minutes.
Lex: Ok that’s easy enough.
Ethan: What if... ok hear me out here...
Hannah: I’m ready for this!
Ethan: What if we put them in at 700°c for 10 minutes!
Hannah: LEX HE’S A GENIUS!
Lex: *leaves the room* ITS UP TO YOU TWO NOW!
Hannah: Now how high does it have to be for instant cookies?
Ethan: uh... LEX?!