#lewi5sos

I managed to end the call with my mom, assuring her I’d be home in a bit with Luke, with plenty of time to spare before Liz’s birthday dinner.

I leaned back on the cement wall, watching casual shoppers stride by me. I had no idea which way Luke had taken off in, so I figured staying where he’d left me was probably my best option, seeing as my phone was dead and I was currently holding his captive. 

I stared down at the dark screen, poking at it until it lit up. His lockscreen was a picture of a few guitars, all lined up nicely in a row. I recognized the blue one from the studio and figured it was Luke’s. I smiled to myself, suddenly curious about Luke’s hobby and the love he presumably possessed for it.

A message bubble popped up suddenly, distracting me from my thoughts. It was from Calum.

Yo I just bumped into your mum and she told me you got into UTS! Why didn’t you tell me?! That’s great bro!

I stared at the message, my eyes scanning over it a few times. I’d heard of UTS before. One of my friends back home had debated applying to the university but opted to keep her options closer to home.

“Coffee?”

I jumped in my spot, nearly dropping Luke’s phone to it’s screen-shattering death. I turned, Luke’s arm stretched out with a to-go coffee cup placed firmly in his hand and an amused smile on his face.

“Shit, you scared me,” I breathed, furrowing my brows as I reached for the coffee and muttered a thank you.

“I can see that,” he chuckled. “Everything go okay with your mum?”

“Uh, yeah,” I nodded and quickly handed his phone back to him. “So, uh, what do you plan on getting your mom?”

Luke glanced down at his phone screen, his eyes scanning over it for a moment. I could tell he was reading the message and wondered if he’d notice me staring down at it as he approached me. He simply locked the screen again though and shoved the phone in his back pocket before shrugging and offering me a content upturn of the corners of his mouth.

“No idea,” he admitted, beginning to walk. “That’s why you’re here.”

“And what if I hadn’t come?” I cocked an eyebrow, smirking into my coffee cup as I took the first sip. Surprisingly enough, it was just right. Clearly Luke had been paying attention to my morning ritual.

“I’d figure it out. But now I don’t have to.”

“Wow, someday I hope to have a son just like you,” I quipped, mimicking Luke’s stride as he began to walk.

“Hey, I’m a great son,” Luke defended, amusement ringing in his voice. “I’m closer to my mum than you probably think.”

I didn’t doubt that for a second. Not after reading Calum’s text that he, Luke’s best friend, had to find out about him getting into a college from his mum.

“Can I ask you something, Luke?” I mused, casting my eyes downward. I wasn’t sure if I should even bring up the topic, but Luke was such a question mark and I was a curious person by nature. I simply couldn’t help it.

“Hmm?” he hummed, scanning over the shops ahead to see if any stood out to him.

“Where’s your dad?”

Luke visibly tensed up but didn’t look at me. His hand gripped his cup of coffee, the other raising to run over the lid as a distraction.

“He’s just not around,” he shrugged. I waited for a further explanation, but got nothing else.

“Oh,” I nodded, contemplating if it was smart to prod any further. “So, like…you don’t see him at all?”

“Why are you so curious about my dad?” he snapped suddenly and I mentally kicked myself. I knew I was playing with fire even asking him in the first place. It was pretty obvious Luke didn’t like revealing too much of himself.

“I’m sorry…” I muttered. “I was just creating conversation.”

“Well I’d rather not have any conversation at all if you’re going to go all Oprah on me.”

“Jesus, okay.”

A silence fell over us as we wandered past a couple stores. I tried changing the subject a couple times, asking Luke questions about his mum’s interest or personal style. He only gave me one-worded answers though, if he didn’t grunt, “I dunno” instead, until finally we found ourselves in a quaint little jewelry shop.

“This stuff all looks too fancy,” Luke muttered, his eyes raking over the glass cases full of various jewels and diamonds.

“First of all, you’re looking at the engagement rings,” I pointed out, turning around to the case on the other side of us. “Here what about any of this stuff.” Luke followed me and stared down at the necklaces, some on gold chains, some on silver. He rubbed at his temple, clearly overwhelmed by all his choices.

“I don’t know, I don’t see Mum wearing any of these…” he admitted. I shuffled a few feet over, trying to narrow down his options a bit.

“What about earrings? Your mom wears earrings, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“What about something like that?” I pointed down to a pair of simple diamond studs.

“Way out of my price range,” he pointed at the tag just below them.

“Oh. Right,” I nodded, my eyes scanning just above them. “Luke, how about these! Aw, look they’re little L’s. L for Liz…or Luke I guess, too,” I smiled down at them.

“You don’t think that’s a little cheesy?” he snorted, furrowing his brows at you. “Seriously, Annie? L’s?”

“I mean, I don’t know…I think she’d like them? They’re simple and cute and they’d have meaning. She’s a mom, she’s totally going to go for something like that.”

Luke stared down at them for a good minute or two, toying with a decision. I could tell he was tiring of shopping and growing more frustrated by the minute.

“Come on,” I urged. “You told me you brought me so I could pick something out for you. And I pick these. So let’s get them and go. Trust me, okay?”

He sighed, tapping his fingers on the glass for a few seconds before nodding and turning his head to me. “Okay. I trust you. But she better fucking love them.”

-----------

 “Oh, you guys really didn’t have to do this,” Liz gushed, setting down the card my mom presented to her a few moments ago, complete with some spa package inside my mom had signed from her, John, and me. “Any of it, really. This dinner, putting up with Luke and I at the house…”

“Nonsense, Liz,” John chuckled, reaching over and giving her hand a friendly squeeze. “We’re always here to help, you know that.”

I watched the exchange from across the table where I sat next to Luke. He was staring idly across the restaurant, his knee tapping the table lightly as his leg bounced a bit. He seemed restless, though I didn’t see family dinners being a favourite of his so I wasn’t surprised by his fidgety state.

“Luke, you got something for your mum, didn’t you?” John interrupted my thoughts, as well as Luke’s daze, and Luke’s head snapped toward him.

“What? Oh…yeah. Right,” he nodded, digging into the pocket of his leather jacket. Luke really did clean up nice. His black skinnies remained his jeans of choice but he swapped his usual ratty band tees and tank tops for a crisp, white button down, then topped it with a leather jacket that accentuated his broad shoulders perfectly.

“Here, Mum. Happy Birthday,” he muttered, giving her a half smile as he reached across the table and slid the small box in front of her.

“Oh, Luke. What do I tell you every year? No gifts,” she scolded, taking the small box anyway as he sat back down and shrugged. She untied the ribbon and opened it, her lips parting as she stared down at the small studs. She was silent for a moment and I looked at Luke for his reaction. He seemed nervous, holding a breath until Liz finally let out a sigh, cooing about how much she loved them. Luke smiled, his body relaxing. I loved seeing that smile of his. It was rare, unless it was the prelude to some snarky remark he hurled my way. This smile though, watching his mum tear up over his thoughtful gift, it was genuine. Real. It made me realize how much I wanted to get to know the real Luke Hemmings.

“You’re welcome, Mum. M’glad you like them,” Luke said after her endless thank you’s, and his hand slipped under the table and onto my half-bare thigh, giving me a small squeeze. I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights, craning my neck to look at him, but he didn’t give me the satisfaction of meeting me half way. He just reached forward and grabbed his beer off the table, taking a long sip of it, the corners of his mouth turning up as he choked on a laugh.

“You’re an idiot,” I chuckled in a hushed tone.

He set his glass down, leaning in toward me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Annie,” he whispered, his breath hot on my ear, his hand still residing on my leg. I let out a deep breath, staring ahead at my own drink on the table, watching the bubbles of carbonation float to the top. My stomach felt like it was full of the same carbonation, bubbling and flipping around inside of me.

“Luke, what are—“ I began, but he removed his hand before I could finish my sentence. His gaze was hard like daggers, but it fell past me and I turned quickly to see what had caught his attention. Or who.

My stomach dropped, my eyes meeting those of the last person I wanted to see. Jason.

“Oh God,” I muttered, whipping myself back around quickly. “Why is he everywhere?”

Luke didn’t answer but I could see the fire behind his eyes. I silently prayed our food would arrive in that very moment, paying as a distraction, and our ticket to quickly eat and leave.

“Luke, just ignore him,” I urged, tugging lightly on his arm. I didn’t break his focus though and I glanced over again, Jason laughing along with a few of his buddies as they looked over at us. I didn’t know what this guy’s problem was, or what his fascination with me was.

“Luke,” I said again, this time more firmly, finally gathering his attention. “He’s just doing it to piss you off. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

Luke looked down at you, chewing thoughtfully on the metal hoop in his lip, then let out a defeated sigh and turned back toward the table. “Fine.”

Except it wasn’t fine. Our food came soon after, Luke remaining silent throughout as our parents chatted away. His eyes were vacant, staring down at the french fry he’d be swirling in ketchup for the past five minutes. I could tell he was uncomfortable. I could tell it was taking every bit of strength in him to not knock the table over right then and there and parade over to give Jason part two to their little knock-out the other night. I felt bad, like I was somehow the reason Luke was sitting there in his own personal Hell.

“You know…I’m not feeling too well,” I suddenly lied, my voice loud enough to break through John’s as he told some old college story.

“What’s wrong, honey?” my mom asked, reaching over and feeling my forehead.

Luke set his fry down and glanced at me, concern written all over his face.

“I don’t know. I just feel a little dizzy and…” I paused, standing up slowly. I stumbled a bit for the added drama and grabbed onto the edge of the table. Luke reached out quickly, grabbing hold of my arm to steady me.

“Shit, are you okay?” Luke asked and I nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I think I’m fine, I just…I think I need to lay down or something…”

“Aww, Annie,” my mom cooed. “Do you want to leave?”

“If it’s alright? I’m so sorry, Liz,” I apologized. “I don’t know where this came from.”

“God, no, honey don’t apologize! You go home and lay down. Focus on feeling better,” she smiled at me, then glanced at Luke. “Luke, you should drive her home.” Success.

“Do you mind?” I asked Luke, bouncing anxious on the balls of my feet. He stood quickly and nodded, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

We said goodbye to our parents and started toward the door. Luke stuck close behind me, his hand even resting lightly on my lower back to guide me toward the door. I kept my head down, avoiding Jason, but I could hear the cackles coming from the direction of his table. I was surprised Luke didn’t even flinch, his stride steady until we made it outside.

“You okay?” he asked again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jackets once we hit the fresh air.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smiled, nodding. “I’m not sick or anything.”

“What? Why did you say you didn’t feel well?”

I shrugged, rubbing at my arms to shake the chill I’d gotten from the change of temperature. “Jason was in there and I could see the blood vessels in your neck ready to pop,” I teased. “I mean, you wanted to leave, right?”

“I guess so…” He looked at me, stopping his sluggish pace almost immediately, and removed his jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders.

“Thank you,” I smiled, my voice barely coming out above a whisper. Just past him, the sun was setting, creating a coral glow in the sky and over Luke’s complexion.

“Thank you,” he returned, pulling his jacket tighter around me. His eyes glazed over a bit but didn’t leave my face, his mind clearly pondering something. God, I wanted to catch a glimpse of what he was thinking—what he always seemed to be so focused on in that mysterious brain of his.

“Can I take you somewhere?” he finally spoke up and waited anxiously for my response.

“Uh…yeah. Sure,” I nodded slowly and he cracked a small smile, bobbing his head toward his car.

----------------------------------

“Wow,” I breathed out, the word probably not foreign to a setting like this. I’d seen sunsets before, sat on the beach back home, watching as the sun fell below the horizon and casted a pink glow over the water. But this was different. This was otherworldly.

“Here, sit down,” Luke instructed, laying down a hoodie he’d grabbed from his car and sitting down next to it. He patted the spot next to him and I sat down, his leather jacket still engulfing me. He placed a take out bag in front of him, digging through to disperse its contents between us. I hadn’t realized how hungry I actually was until the drive over when Luke suddenly made a turn into a McDonald’s drive-thru. After all, we’d barely gotten a chance to dig into our meals earlier.

“Is this where you take girls to woo them?” I half-teased, taking a bite of my burger and stretching my legs out.

“Woo them?” Luke chuckled. “Who even says that?”

“Lots of people,” I defended my word choice, laughing along with him. “And you didn’t answer the question.”

Luke popped a few fries in his mouth, shaking his head with a dopey grin on his face still. “No,” he simply stated, staring out at the water over the edge of the cliff. “I don’t woo girls. And even if I were into cheesy romantic shit like that, I wouldn’t bring them here. I like coming here alone.”

I mulled over the thought of asking him why he brought me here then. If this was a private sanctuary for him, why bring someone you have a, well, complicated relationship with? I kept my mouth shut though, not wanting to flip the wrong switch on Luke and him snap like he did earlier when I pulled the wrong string and asked about his dad.

“I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I finally said, gazing out at what I could only describe as perfection.

“Second most beautiful thing I’ve seen,” Luke said lowly and I slowly turned my head to him. He was leaning back, resting on his palms with his eyes cast on me. He reached over, tucking a loose chunk of hair behind my ear, his fingers grazing over my cheek, sending a chill over me that not even his jacket could kick.

I squinted my eyes closed for a second, the image of Ashton popping up in my head. I liked him. A lot. He was everything I could ever want in a guy. And Luke was—well, Luke was the opposite. Everything I probably didn’t need, but somehow craved, nonetheless.

I cleared my throat, turning my head away from Luke again and he sighed, shuffling in his spot next to me. “So,” I began, my cloudy head searching for a new topic, anything, to distract me from perplexing boy next to me. “Why haven’t you told anyone about getting into college?” Immediately I regretted my decision to go there. I took another bite of my burger, praying maybe I’d choke on it to avoid the awful exchange I knew I was about to endure.

“I knew you saw that text…” Luke muttered, digging into his meal again as well.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s no big deal,” he shrugged, staring straight ahead. I was taking aback by his calm attitude toward the matter. Even I would probably get aggravated if someone read one of my text messages, and I wasn’t half as private as Luke. “I just don’t think it’s a big deal. I don’t even know if I’m going to go. I only really applied because Mum wouldn’t drop it.”

“Oh,” I nodded. “What program did you get into?”

“Music production.”

“Luke, that’s really cool, why don’t you want to go? It could open so many doors for you in the music industry,” I urged.

“I’m just not a school kind of guy.”

“You should try it though, Luke. This could be such a good thing for you and you’ll probably be really good at it and –“

“I just don’t know right now, okay Annie? Just forget about it,” he barked, cutting me off and shoving the wrappers from his meal in the take out bag. I furrowed my brow and sighed, staring out at the water again. He was so frustrating. Every time I tried to dig deeper, he’d shut down my mission. I was becoming dizzy in the frenzy of his emotions, or lack there of.  

“No, you know what Luke? You don’t get to do this.”

“Do what?” he muttered and I rolled my eyes, burying my face in my hands for a moment in irritation before standing up.

“You don’t get to give me your jacket because I’m cold. And you don’t get to bring me up here, to this beautiful place, and compare me to the god damn sunset. You don’t get to be this incredible, sweet guy to me one minute, and then completely snap when I simply try to get to know you better. This game you’re playing, Luke…I’m not into it, okay? Because there’s another guy I like too that doesn’t pull this shit. Who do you think is going to win?” My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. He stared up at me, his expression blank and unreadable. I suddenly felt embarrassed, my emotions getting the best of me as tears stung the corners of my eyes. I turned on my heel, wanting nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow me.

“Annie,” Luke called and I could hear him shuffling to get up. “Annie, wait!” He grabbed my wrist, spinning me around and our bodies collided. “Annie…are you…are you saying you like me?”

“You’re serious right now, Luke? That’s all you got out of that?” I sniffled, unable to fight the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Luke smiled weakly, his hand resting on the side of my face. “Listen,” he sighed. “I know I’m not your ideal guy. I’m not anyone’s ideal guy, really. I’m an asshole. I ruin every relationship I have. I let my anger take over, hoping it’ll scare people off from getting to know me better. Usually people give up on me at this point but you challenge me Annie and I’ve never felt so confused in my life. All I know is that I like you. A lot.”

My heart raced, his words freezing me in place as searched my brain for something to say. I was complete caught off guard.

“You are an asshole,” I finally muttered, the corners of my mouth turning up.