#leunseo

There is someone who is close, though, very close to her own skills, and it takes Luda some hours of hard practice to notice her since she has always been hiding, supporting her team by defending rather than attacking (something Luda absolutely cannot relate to).

Her name is Son Juyeon, but everyone is calling her Eunseo, so Luda just takes that nickname over.

Eunseo is quiet, she chews on the tips of her hair when she‘s nervous, often doodles in class, and, what’s most important, she is incredibly strong. The first smash from her Luda encounters almost knocks her out of her shoes - which is bad since she had been her opponent in this certain game.

Luda decides that she doesn’t want to be Eunseo‘s opponent ever again, and with this, they’re best friends.

(Eunseo doesn’t seem to have any friends, just like her, so she doesn’t complain. The deep blush when Luda first sits down next to her in lunch tells her Eunseo might even wanted to befriend her too, but was just hesitating. After all, Luda hits the volleyball almost as hard as Eunseo does, and she also has been told she’s kind of intimidating to kids her age. And kids under her age. And kids over her age. And-

Well, Luda can just be pretty scary.)

By the time they graduate, they’re by far the best players in the team, even though Luda is better, of course, a bit quicker, a bit faster, a bit more passionate.

Luda never minded being alone, but she has to admit being with Eunseo is a lot nicer. (Playing with an actual person rather than with a brick wall is a lot nicer and a hell more convenient.)

They apply to different high schools, all more in Luda‘s area than in Eunseo‘s, but she made clear she doesn’t mind driving to school two hours a day just to attend the same school as Luda.

They spend their summer vacation together in the Son‘s holiday home in Jeju, and when they arrive, Luda notices for the first time Eunseo is insanely, obnoxiously rich. (Her parents are, Eunseo claims, and Luda just nods it off.)

They have the time of their lives, riding their bikes around the island and playing volleyball the whole day, occasionally going swimming, and watching scary movies, snuggling together, at night.

Eunseo has always been the more worrisome between the two of them, so while Luda is able to actually relax while sipping on her self made caipirinha (without alcohol!), Eunseo is frowning and biting her finger nails, thinking about whether they’re going to get accepted into one of the prestige high schools.

(Luda tells her to quit it when she can almost see Eunseo’s forehead keeping all those wrinkles, so Eunseo tries her best not to show.)

Even bigger is the joy when they actually do get into an High school called Happy, an institution training especially people who aim to become either actors, idols, or, as in Eunseo‘s and Luda‘s case, athletes.

Luda has decided over her last vacation as a middle schoolers that she wants to play volleyball for the rest of her life, and Eunseo? Eunseo told Luda she doesn’t know yet.

(Luda thinks that Eunseo can afford to buy time, unlike Luda she wouldn’t have to start working for a scholarship right now. Then Luda thinks, that’s unfair, and scolds herself mentally. Eunseo is her best friend. Eunseo deserves to be unsure. Eunseo deserves it all, and she would try to give it to her.)

The first day of High school, they are confronted with rude seniors and scary hag teachers and cafeteria food that almost makes them throw up, and Luda hates it. Eunseo doesn’t seem too bothered, at least not when she holds Luda‘s hand while they’re going to the gym where first auditions for the school‘s school teams - football, baseball and volleyball - would be held.

Of course, they play themselves into the team with their left pinkies, and their team seniors - two girls called Hyunjung and Sojung - congratulate them with smoothies. (They immediately love this team, building a crass contrast to the rest of this hell school.)

Hyunjung proudly introduces herself as the team‘s captain, and Sojung quickly claims herself the co-captain, to which Hyunjung reacts with scoffing. (“Who else could it be, we were the only ones in this team!” - “Your ego is big enough to take both positions and you know it.”)

Luda and Eunseo find out Hyunjung and Sojung have been best friends since kindergarten and have started playing two years ago, in their last year of middle school. According to Hyunjung they’re “extraordinary”, according to Sojung they were “just in a need of a hobby after the softball team of their middle school had thrown them out”.

They like them from the very beginning.

However, before they can actually start practicing, they need two more members - they hold another audition and two seniors turn up, Nayeon and Jeongyeon. It’s hard for all of them, knowing they’re going to graduate this year while trying to become a team, but, somehow, they do it. By the end of Eunseo’s and Luda’s first year, they have made four friends they hang out with around the clock, so it’s no wonder they sniffle a little when Nayeon and Jeongyeon leave, on their way to university, Nayeon majoring dance and Jeongyeon aiming a Sport Science Degree. (Okay, they pretty much bawl their eyes out. Luda makes Eunseo swear not to tell anyone.)

Luda and Eunseo have their first vacation as High schoolers, but this time, at Sojung’s, whose mother gladly allowed them to stay for some weeks. When they arrive, Hyunjung is already there. Of course. She and Sojung always stick together, are even closer than Luda and Eunseo. Luda doesn’t think much of it.

At least she doesn’t until she and Eunseo go to get snacks downside just to walk into Sojung’s room, finding them making out. (Luda clears her throat and they jump ten inches apart, looking sheepishly away from each other. Eunseo has to suppress a laugh.)

They awkwardly sit next to each other, and after a tense minute, Hyunjung speaks up. “Atmosphere’s already ruined”, she says, “might as well confess some things.”

And so they start. Hyunjung had fallen in love with Sojung last year while Sojung had fallen for Hyunjung two years ago. This year, they both confessed, and were a secret couple until now.

(“Why didn’t you tell us?”, Eunseo asks quietly, and they think about it a while. “I think I wanted Sojung for myself”, Hyunjung admits, while Sojung says, “It’s just way hotter.” While Hyunjung punches Sojung in the arm, Eunseo laughs, but Luda notices the thing Hyunjung said lingered in her mind.)

“You two”, Sojung says, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend and pointing with her ring and middle finger at Luda and Eunseo, who sit a bit straighter, alarmed by their co-captain. “Confess something. This is a team meeting. We’re getting closer.” Eunseo is visibly uncomfortable, biting on her lips, so Luda grabs her hand and squeezes it. “In kindergarten”, she begins, “I got expelled.”

It’s quiet for a second before hell breaks loose.

“What do you mean you got expelled? How can you get expelled from kindergarten?”, Hyunjung roars, Sojung looks impressed and starts clapping her hands, and Eunseo whispers, “You never told me that.” Luda squeezes her hand another time, a bit more gentle, and a Eunseo understands. She relaxes and Luda grins instantly.

“There was this girl, she always used to tease me because of- hell, I don’t know, anyway, one day I took revenge.” She pauses. “After she got up from a nap, I poured orange juice on her bed. She had to go to potty training again after that.” She grins widely. “She never found out who did it.”

“Good one, Lee Luda”, Sojung says, looking like a proud mom. “How did you get thrown out then, though?”

“A teacher saw”, Luda shrugs, “but she agreed not to tell Jiyeon. She is pretty scary if I remember her correctly.” Their upperclassmen go crazy about the story, and Eunseo’s turn is forgotten, much to her happiness.

(“Thank you, Luda”, she whispers, when they’re laying on an old mattress together in Sojung’s room and Hyunjung and Sojung are fast asleep, “for earlier. Thanks for making up that story.” “It wasn’t a complete lie, you know”, Luda mumbles, half asleep, “there was a Jiyeon who annoyed the hell out of me. Just never got my revenge.” Eunseo hums and slowly grabs her hand. “Maybe you will, one day.” “Yeah”, Luda sighs and turns around so she faces Eunseo, “maybe.”)

The weeks pass in a blink of the eye, and they return to High school, with a slight tan and golden memories, but, again, without a complete volleyball team. Hyunjung and Sojung are seniors now and more stressed than ever, so the captain and the co-captain of the team let the fresh-baked sophomores hold the auditions to catch two new team members. And they do - Jinsook and Yeonjung are freshmen, skilled and almost obnoxiously cute. Everyone loves them from second one.

While the first weeks of a new school year pass, Luda notices Eunseo has changed since they first met. (Of course she did, she scolds herself, they met in middle school. In middle school, Luda had an emo haircut and sometimes hissed at people.)

But Luda had been mean and snappy and she still is mean and snappy, while Eunseo used to be quiet and shy and she now is loud and kind of braggy, which is not exactly bad, but it doesn’t feel like Eunseo anymore.

Eunseo hangs out a lot with her underclassmen, so Luda third-wheels Hyunjung and Sojung, not without second thoughts.

(Luda stands in the empty gym, long after afternoon classes have ended, and tries to play basketball alone.

“Maybe she went through puberty.” She throws the ball, it misses.

“Or now, when she has new friends, she doesn’t need me anymore.” Another shot, also missed.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to see me right now.” Luda scores.)

“Want to grab ice cream after school?”, Luda asks and lets herself fall next to Eunseo, sitting outside on a bench. Eunseo flinches and, in the span of a small millisecond, she moves away. Luda suppresses a scoff and keeps her smile. “I just had lunch”, Eunseo mumbles.

“So did I. Come on! What’s with you lately?”, Luda asks, a frown on her face, and Eunseo bites on her lips. (Usual Eunseo behavior, Luda notes.) “It’s nothing”, Eunseo smiles and pokes her finger in Luda’s side, which both know she hates. Luda grumbles, and snuggles closer to Eunseo. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe Eunseo hasn’t changed.

Their game play, however, did. The team practices six times a week, training not only stamina but also strength and team play. They’re at their peek. (They’re fast, but Luda is faster. They’re strong, but Luda’s stronger. They’re great, but Luda’s extraordinary.)

Luda loves this team.

“We have a game this Sunday”, Hyunjung announces after an especially exhausting training, looking at her phone, “so everyone prepare and practice well.” Everyone nods, too knackered to speak, and starts changing. “Against who?”, Sojung asks.

“Moment High school.” Jinsook lets out a whistle. “What is it?”, Yeonjung wants to know, and Jinsook raises her eyebrows.

“They have a pretty good team”, she says, “my friend Dayoung is in it and she sometimes sends me videos of their practice sessions. It’s sort of impressive.” “Whatever, we are impressive”, Luda interrupts her. “We’re going to beat them.” No one dares to disagree.

Luda doesn’t bother practicing more than she already does. She’s not slacking off, though, she’s taking runs, lifting weights, playing volleyball for hours as always. She just trusts her team to win. (Trust their, trust her skills to win this game easily.)

Sunday comes and the team watches their opponents stepping out of an bus from an empty classroom. The team consists of six girls, leaded by a tall, black haired one. Luda straightens her back when she sees her. She’s gorgeous. Judging by Sojung’s tiny gasp and Yeonjung clutching her heart, the others have noticed, too. “That girl”, Eunseo says, speaking for all of them, “the captain… she could be a model.” Luda ignores the nagging feeling in her brain that she knows this girl from somewhere, has seen this pretty face some over time, and heads to the door. “Come on, girls. Easy game.”

It is, in fact, not an easy game. Twenty minutes have passed, Luda’s shirt is drenched in sweat and her bangs stick to her forehead. She has to admit that she has deadly underestimated them.

The captain of the Moment team had introduced them one by one: Mei Qi and Xuan Yi, seniors, equally stunning. There are Cheng Xiao and Soobin, sophomores, small and pretty. Their youngest, Dayoung, who is quirky, cute and a freshman. And there’s Bona, the black haired beauty they had admired earlier. Senior and team captain.

(She and Hyunjung had shaken hands. While Bona smiled, Hyunjung seemed weirdly stern. Now Luda knows why - because Hyunjung had researched way better than Luda did.)

Dawon, a referee from another near High school, watches the game closely, but both teams play fair. And, in the end, after Luda, after her team gave everything, they do win.

It’s close. Too close. 22 to 21.

Luda has poured her whole heart into this game and she won by one point.

The others are proud, chattering loudly while heading to the changing room, but Luda doesn’t follow, idly dribbling a ball in the empty gym. She slowly starts getting faster, walking along the ball, then running. She runs and runs until her already cracked stamina is all used up and then throws the ball away with all of her strength, letting out a yell through gritted teeth. She didn’t loose, but she lost.

Her chest lifts and lowers rapidly, and she runs her hand through her hair. She catches someone standing in front of the changing rooms and Luda turns around. It’s Bona. It’s Bona, and her hair is still open, and she doesn’t even look sweaty. Luda has poured her whole heart into this game and Bona wasn’t even bothered enough to put her hair in a fucking ponytail.

“What are you staring at?”, Luda spits, but, sadly, due to her fatigue, it doesn’t come out as snappy as she wanted it to be.

“You”, Bona simply says, and she dares to put a smile on her face. Luda turns around, just so she doesn’t have to see it.

“Are you always this aggressive after a game?”, Luda hears Bona asking, and she suppresses the urge to actually spit. “No”, she just answers, turning back again so she faces Bona. “Good game”, Bona calls after her when Luda squeezes herself through the door Bona’s half blocking. Luda has to force herself not to go at Bona for that comment because she has to be mocking her.

She ignores Eunseo’s worried glances when she undresses, packs her things and is the first one to leave.

Yes, Luda has always been the best at volleyball, wherever she went. That’s until she met Bona.

Suddenly, she is just second best, a thought that is pretty much unbearable for her. She also starts hearing a lot of things about her. Rumors, but also facts. Luda finds out Bona is known in her school, maybe even more than she is.

Bona is everywhere.

Apparently, she’s exes with her teammate Xuan Yi, and they’re getting along even though they have to practice together all the time. (“She must be such a good person to pull that one off!”)

She’s the head girl of her school and always on top of her classes. (“That girl is a genius, I’m telling you!”)

She has been playing all her life, since she can walk. (“And they say she is the best, that she has never had an opponent that was as perfect as her.”)

I’m perfect, Luda thinks, a bitter taste on her tongue, I’m supposed to be the perfect one.

It’s not fair, Luda thinks, Bona being better than her without any effort.

(Luda does not think about how she never bothered to practice day and night herself.)

“Is everyone free this Saturday?”, Hyunjung wants to know, this time before practice. They’re in the gym, Jinsook and Eunseo already setting up the volleyball field, and the rest are stretching. “What for?”, Luda asks because their co-captain doesn’t seem to want to. (Knowing Hyunjung and Sojung, Sojung probably already knows anyway.)

“We’re playing against the team from Moment again. Friendship game, though. And we’re going eating afterwards.”

“I don’t have time”, Luda instantly claims. God, she doesn’t need another meeting with that Bona.

“Make time, then”, Sojung scoffs before her girlfriend can answer. “They have good teamwork and we can learn a lot from them.”

Luda clenches her fists, but doesn’t start fighting with Sojung. Rather she just nods and runs another lap, even though they others are ready to start. Eunseo looks after her, with a concerned look on her face.

“If you don’t want to go, I’ll lie for you and say you got sick”, Eunseo says while critical hitting Luda’s video game character. They’re sitting on the floor in Luda’s room, playing on her ten year old Xbox.

(Little Luda had saved money for months and cried real tears when she finally got to hold it in her tiny hands.)

“No”, Luda sighs after a second of serious consideration, “Captain’s never going to believe it. Besides, you suck at lying.” It’s Luda’s way of saying “you don’t have to lie for me” and they both know it.

Eunseo hums.

“You know, I thought about asking Jinsook out.”

Luda’s character receives another hit as Luda’s head turns to Eunseo.

“Really?” She starts grinning. “Wow, congrats, Juyeon! Didn’t know you got game.”

Eunseo blushes at Luda calling her her real name and then scoffs. “I really like her. Do you think she likes me?”

Something in Eunseo’s voice is weird, but Luda can’t quite name what it is, so she decides to ignore it.

“Jinsook…”, she says slowly, to buy time (and not to die in the game), “sure. Everyone likes you. Go for it.”

“Everyone”, Eunseo mumbles. Luda punches Eunseo’s character and it’s killed.

Saturday comes quicker than expected and Luda wishes she had followed Eunseo’s suggestion.

She’s not on her best, which drives her crazy, given that even on her best she can’t reach Bona’s best.

This time, they loose, but both teams aren’t too bothered.

(“Good game”, Xuan Yi says, smiling, and Eunseo grins back. Dayoung, Jinsook and Yeonjung are bickering in the back of the gym, playfully fighting and yelling like little kids.)

They go to the pizzeria by feet since it’s a clear evening and they all need some cooling after the match. Luda is with Eunseo and all of the freshmen in the back while Hyunjung, Sojung and Bona are leading their big group. (They invited Dawon too, who is chatting with Cheng Xiao and Soobin.)

Luda stares at the back of Bona’s hair and doesn’t notice Eunseo is trying to initiate a conversation with her. (“You played well today.” - “Hmm.” - “What are you going to order?” - “Hmm.” - “By the way, I failed my history test.” - “Hmm- what?”)

They squeeze themselves onto a table for originally ten people, and in the mess Luda doesn’t notice she’s stuck between Dawon and Bona. Fuck.

Luda only opens her mouth when she’s asked something. Bona doesn’t seem to notice, or at least, she doesn’t react to it. (Why would she, Luda thinks immediately, Bona doesn’t care about her. Bona doesn’t know her at all. Which is alright, because Luda doesn’t care about Bona and doesn’t know Bona at all.)

When dessert is being served, Bona talks to her.

“Do you like strawberries, Lee Luda?”, she asks. Luda narrows her eyes.

“Why are you asking?”

“Because I don’t. Want mine?”

Bona points to her strawberry ice cream.

“Why would you order that if you don’t like strawberries?”, Luda deadpans.

“Maybe I just wanted a reason to talk to you.” Bona smiles and it kind of makes Luda’s stomach drop.

“Maybe that’s the only part of this dessert I don’t like.” Bona’s smile increases and her gummy shows, her eyes narrow. Luda averts her eyes and quickly picks up a single strawberry with her spoon.

She doesn’t see Eunseo’s eyes on her.

They don’t talk anymore after that.

Luda somewhat survives the evening - besides from Bona, the team is surprisingly pleasant and likable and what not - and Luda finds herself being dragged into a heated conversation with Dayoung about overwatch. (The second Dayoung mentions she’s a Junkrat main Luda is already ready to fight her.)

Luda‘s brain kind of knows her former opponents are normal girls who don’t get all drilled to play volleyball all day, just like her team, and she can see them as friends. But she can’t seem to be able to forgive Bona. (For being all perfect effortlessly, Luda thinks. For being better than her at what she loves doing the most.)

With weeks passing, Luda develops the habit of staying after practice, playing by herself. The will to improve - to beat Bona - is there, but she doesn’t know how to do it. So she just runs more laps and does more pushups until she reaches her physical limits.

“Want me to practice with you?”, Eunseo asks when she notices Luda’s even more absent these days, but Luda shakes her head. “You don’t have time, I know that.” She gives her a scolding look. “After you failed that test.”

Eunseo ducks her head and then pouts. “I’ll always have time for you.” Luda grins and bumps her shoulder with her own.

She sees Bona again in one of her private training sessions. Luda’s throwing the ball against the wall repeatedly when Bona steps in, having a ball in her arms herself.

“Is that how you always practice?”, she calls from the end of the gym, and Luda turns on her heels.

“I’ve already finished”, she answers coolly, “Don’t worry, I’m gone in a minute.”

She quickly heads to the changing rooms, but Bona holds her back by grabbing her wrist.

“That looks painful”, she frowns, looking at the purple bruises on Luda’s arms.

“Whatever”, Luda scoffs, trying to release herself from Bona’s firm grip, failing miserably.

“You should try out another bumping technique, yours doesn’t seem to work for you.“ She thinks about it, trying to remember something. “You would also get a lot more strength in your moves and into the ball, I believe it was a flaw of yours.”

Luda’s in a rage all at once.

“I didn’t ask you about my flaws”, she snaps, pulling her arm away from Bona. “With you being here, I’m totally aware of them, thank you very much.”

Luda didn’t expect Bona to react pissed - that girl honestly can keep her temper, unlike Luda -, but she narrows her eyes and answers, “that’s not my fault.”

“It is!”, Luda can’t stop herself, she furiously pushes Bona, who tumbles back. “I didn’t ask for you to come here and- be better than me!”

Bona takes a steady breath. “You don’t practice a lot, do you?”

Luda stares at her. “What?”

“You’re angry because you’ve never been beaten before, even without lots of training. If you came to the point where you are now, but through skills and not talent, you wouldn’t be angry with me, but with yourself.”

Bona’s face turns into a grimace, and it’s the most agitated Luda has ever seen her when she says, “It’s unfair. You’ve got so much talent and you’re wasting it by playing once a week. It’s”, her shoulders fall and she turns around, mumbling the last words, “so damn unfair.”

Bona leaves from where she came from, through the changing rooms.

Luda frowns, confusion and anger mixing in her body, and she yells after her, “What the hell is your deal, Bona?”

Bona doesn’t answer.

“Hi, who is this?”

“Hi, Dayoung. Luda here. We need to meet up.”

They’re sitting in a café. Dayoung is sipping on hot chocolate. “What can you tell me about Bona?”

“Bona?”, Dayoung aks, frowning. “She’s great. Best player I’ve ever encountered. Why are you asking?”

Luda’s eye twitches. “Because”, she exhales, “she jumped at me. Said I’m wasting my talent and that it’s unfair.”

Dayoung sharply inhales.

“What did she mean?”, Luda quietly asks.

“Bona… isn’t exactly talented”, Dayoung hesitates, “don’t get me wrong, she’s brilliant, but she’s not talented. She wasn’t born with her skills.”

Dayoung balances her cup on one of its edges ; a little bit beverage spills, soaking into a napkin she had laid under it before. The once so brightly white material is now of an ugly brown.

“I don’t know how much she practices”, Dayoung admits, “or why she invests all of her time in this. We’ve talked about this, without Bona, but they don’t know anything. Well, Xuan Yi does know, but she won’t tell you. You will have to ask Bona herself for that.”

Luda doubts Bona would tell her. After all, she has never treated Bona with what she would consider kindness or even friendliness. (It was even quite the opposite.)

She wants to try, though. It’s the very single thing beside volleyball that she wants to do no matter what, and, quite like the sport, she doesn’t know why.

Luda’s getting embraced in Bona, and so far she only minds a little bit.

“Xuan Yi, I’m home”, Luda hears a voice, and she straightens her back. She’s visited Xuan Yi at home half an hour ago, hoping to catch Bona there as Dayoung told her they pretty much spend all of their time together.

(“Hi”, Xuan Yi had said, trying not to show her confusion too clearly in her face when Luda showed up on her doormat. “Um, hey”, Luda gave her a crooked smile. “Can I come in?”)

Xuan Yi rushes to the door and opens it. “Welcome home!” Luda sees Bona stepping in, shaking her head, resulting in little snowflakes falling down to the ground. Luda instinctively turns around to see through the window. Snow’s falling heavily. “You have a guest”, Xuan Yi mumbles, and when Bona takes a step to the living room, Xuan Yi quickly hushes through the door behind her and closes it after her. Luda swallows when Bona sees her.

“Hi.”

Bona blinks before she starts smirking. “Lee Luda, what are you doing here?” Luda shrugs. “I thought you could show me some techniques. You know, to get more strength into my movements and all.”

“So you did listen to my critic earlier.”

Bona sits down next to Luda, leaving an amount of appropriate space between them, and folds her hands in her lap. She looks pretty - of course, she always does - with little snowflakes in her hair and in a big scarf wrapped around her throat and shoulders.

“Of course I did.”

They sit in silence before Bona clears her throat. “It would be kind of inconvenient, practicing now”, she says, needlessly pointing to the window, “but, um, we can meet up another time…?”

“Yeah, sure”, Luda nods, then shakes her head right after. “I mean, thank you.”

Bona tilts her head, chewing on her cheek, and after a slow, slow minute Luda realizes Bona wants her gone, so she hastily speaks up before she can throw her out.

“Hey, um”, Luda says, “can I ask you something?”

Bona raises a brow. “Sure.”

“How much do you practice?”

“My team meets up every Tuesday for about one hour and half to-“

“No, Bona, how much do you practice?”

Bona stares at her before another smirk falls on her face. It looks mocking almost.

“So, who told you? Was it Xuan Yi?” She glares in the distance. “That girl doesn’t know how not to get involved.”

“No, actually, Dayoung and I met up”, Luda answered, and Bona nods, as if she had known already.

“Ah, Dayoung”, she sighs, “I assume you don’t know any details. She’s a loyal one.”

Luda sits silently, waiting for Bona to go on. She does.

“I play volleyball… at least once every day”, Bona says thoughtfully. “Sometimes before school starts, mostly in the evening, when everyone’s home and it’s quiet.

I think it has always been like that. I haven’t seen my parents for four months. They’re pretty busy, having their own hospital and all. Volleyball has always been my way to cope with hardships.”

Bona stares out of the window. Luda watches her profile, watches her eyes narrowing with low grief.

“And, I got good. Really good. I’ve had dozens of bruises on my whole body, but I had gotten really freaking good.” Bona lets out a ghost of a laugh.

“And then you came into my life, and even if you behaved like a child, you played like a god.”

Bona’s voice is almost envious, admiring, and Luda can’t even react to the hidden insult the compliment involved.

“I could tell immediately you didn’t have to put in any effort at all to get to the point I only reached after hours of practice. It was frustrating.”

Luda nods, understanding perfectly well how Bona feels. Because, didn’t she misjudge and thought all of that as well, with a bitter heart and irrational mind?

Turns out Luda is the gifted one. (Luda is the one who shouldn’t throw her talent easily away like that.)

“I guess playing volleyball is putting lots of pressure on me”, Bona goes on, “since everyone in my family is so absolutely talented. Like, my parents are famous cardiologists with their own hospital, my older brother is a pilot, and my smaller sister is studying law.”

She snorts. “Even my first girlfriend’s parents own a damn restaurant. Everyone relies on me to get a scholarship and become some volleyball playing god.”

Bona stops. “Like you are.”

Luda shifts her weight.She used to be proud of her volleyball skills, but now she feels like a fraud.

Does she even deserve it? After all what Bona has done to gain hers?

Luda watches Bona’s expression change from bitterness to solely tiredness. Bona sighs. “Sorry I snapped at you in the gym, I didn’t mean to take out my worries at you.”

“It’s alright”, Luda immediately goes, and out of an instinct she grabs Bona’s hand, squeezing it gently.

She quickly lets go after she meets Bona’s eyes, though. (Because she averts her gaze as well, she can’t see them turning soft.)

Luda enters her parents’ house, brushing off the half-melted snowflakes on her coat. “I’m home”, she calls quietly, not waiting for an answer before hushing into her room, closing the door after her.

She wants to have something that will put Bona out of her mind, so she draws, only to find herself drawing pretty stick figures with black hair and volleyball nets.

So she listens to music instead, but every song is about Bona’s struggles. (Luda turns her iPod off.)

Her mother sticks her head into Luda’s room, opening the door only a bit. “Luda, sweetie? Can you go and get some milk from the store?”

She has obvious eye bags, so Luda’s up in a second. “I’ll be back in a minute. Go and rest some.”

When Luda comes back and puts the groceries on the kitchen counter, she thinks of another way of distraction. So she tells her mother she’s out for a while and grabs her running shoes. Luda runs miles and miles, but when she comes home, she’s still doesn’t feel better.

She meets up with Dayoung once more, this time to get Bona’s phone number.“Hi”, she shortly says when calling her, and when there’s no answer at once, she adds, “it’s Luda. You know, Lee Luda. Were opponents twice. Met up some days ago?”

Bona grunts. “I know who you are, dummy, I just woke up. Cut me some slack.” Luda glances at her alarm clock - it’s almost midnight. She feels a blush creeping over her face. “Oh, sorry, I’ll just-“

“No, stay”, Bona yawns, and the words makes Luda flush harder. “Now I’m awake. What is it?”

Luda inhales. “Can you train me?”

Bona snorts, and Luda can hear the smirk in her voice when she asks, “Lee Luda, what has gotten into you?”

She scoffs, but can’t suppress a smile when she says, “must be your impact. So, can you meet up or not?”

After practicing Luda falls behind. While everyone is strolling towards the changing rooms, she stretches her fingers, does some squats and plays around with the ball.

“Aren’t you going to go home?” Eunseo is leaning against the door, already in her free time clothes. Her hair is put in a messy ponytail and her bangs are sticking to her forehead, so Luda guesses she didn’t shower.

“Nah”, Luda answers, groaning as she lets herself falling on the ground. “I’m waiting for someone.”

Eunseo looks confused. “Who?”

“Hey, Luda!”

They both turn their heads to Bona when she enters the gym with a beam on her face.

Luda grins at her and stands up again, not seeing Eunseo’s face falling. Bona’s smile increases when Luda gives her a nudge as a greeting. “Ready to practice, Luda?”

They barely notice Eunseo mumbling a goodbye and then backing off quickly, leaving them alone.

Practicing after both Luda’s and Bona’s official training becomes a habit, and even though Luda dislikes habits, she has to like this one. It contains seeing Bona, after all. And Luda’s muscles ache and cry for rest, but Luda loves it. It’s volleyball. (It’s Bona.)

Bona’s amazing.

The things she has heard about her are true - she is exes with Xuan Yi. They got into a relationship because they were one of those kindergarten friends and thought, “might as well try it out” (quoting Bona). After some months, they had mutually decided to stay on platonic terms.

(“My captain and co-captain”, Luda says, “they’re just like that. Glued together since kindergarten and have been a couple for some time now.” Bona shots her a weird look. “What?”, Luda asks, and Bona shakes her head. “Nothing.”)

She’s the head girl and always on top of her classes, but it’s nothing she’s really proud of. After all, it’s a position she has to take. (Luda still quietly admires her for it ; Bona really is smart effortlessly. She wishes Bona could see her talent just like her skills.)

Bona has been playing since she can walk.

(“My parents were kind of always absent”, Bona shrugs, “so I just picked up a ball to have something to do the whole day.”)

“Lee Luda!”, Bona grins and turns on her heels immediately, even though her practice isn’t over yet and her team’s still standing on the field. Luda quickly walks up to the audience tribunes and sits down, gesturing Bona to finish the game. Bona pouts, but gives her attention to the sport again.

(They team is already used to this. Bona’s temporary team members for this match - Mei Qi, Dayoung and Soobin - sigh, however, as they know Bona’s mind is already with Luda. “It always is”, Dayoung likes to joke, just to receive a light smack by Mei Qi.)

Luda throws her school bag onto the empty seat next to her and sits down, her eyes not leaving Bona’s tensed figure. Bona’s weekly team practice is almost over when Luda gets out of school, so it has become a costume for Luda to just drop off at Bona’s High school’s gym and watch Bona practice.

And, god, how well she does.

Luda never gets tired of seeing Bona’s play - it’s like a rehearsed dance when she soars above the field ; it’s like she’s in the boxing ring when she hits the ball with immense power, using her whole body to do so.

“Okay, let’s finish up for today”, Bona eventually says, flipping her hair and fanning her face. “Xuan Yi, Dayoung, Soobin - tidy up the field. Mei Qi and Cheng Xiao - you worked especially hard today, so you can go already if you want to.” Mei Qi and Cheng Xiao high five and disappear in the changing room while the rest grumbles.

“And you, Luda-“ Luda’s head snaps up when Bona calls her.

“Keep looking pretty like that. I’m with you in a second”, Bona grins, and Luda smirks back.

They spend a lot of time together, more than Luda and Eunseo (used to). Besides practicing volleyball, they take walks, they play video games. They enjoy their free time. They also study together ; Bona’s favorite subject is English, and even though Luda is pretty much on her level, she patiently listens to Bona blabbering about phrasal verbs and why colonel isn’t pronounced as colonel but as colonel.

Luda notices Bona quickly turns her favorite person, and she doesn’t mind at all. (She knows that that place used to be Eunseo’s, but she just has fallen so hard. She can’t catch her breath. It’s Bona.)

Eunseo has noticed, too.“You spend a lot of time with that Bona”, Eunseo says ; they’re on their way home from school. “I’m close with her, so what”, Luda shrugs, not minding Eunseo talking about Bona because she’s on mind all the time anyway.

“I think… I might be even in love with her.” Luda says it with a softness that makes her own heart beat a bit harder, but Eunseo’s reaction is more crass.

“You’re what?”

Eunseo is some steps behind, so Luda turns around when she hears the shrieking. Luda lets out a laugh, but she’s confused, clearly. “Is she so bad?” She tilts her head, waiting for an answer, and Eunseo bites her lip. “No, it’s just…”

“Then what? Can’t you be happy for me?”

Luda almost flinches at how she shoots the word rather than saying them lightly, jokingly, like she had intended to. Eunseo does flinch, however.

“I am happy for you, it’s just…” Eunseo gives an halfhearted attempt at reaching for Luda’s hand, but lets her own arm drop before she can grab it. “I don’t see you anymore. At all. I just don’t want to loose you.”

Luda turns softer, and she steps up to Eunseo and pulls her into a hug. They haven’t done that in a long time - Luda remembers when they were in middle school and she was a tad taller than Eunseo and they would always press their foreheads and noses against each other’s. Now, Eunseo can rest her chin on Luda’s head and Luda buries herself in Eunseo’s jacket, opened and wrapped around her small body.

“You’re not loosing me, dummy”, Luda mumbles, “even if I should get into a relationship with Bona.”

It’s meant to be reassuring, and Luda finds her peace in her longest friend’s arms, not seeing Eunseo’s spilling tears quietly.

Bona reaches for another slice of pizza and then snuggles into the bed’s pillows. Both teams and Dawon are at Luda’s, doing a movie night - right now they’re watching Bring It On (Soobin’s choice, highly cheered by their youngest). Luda and Bona are sitting on her bed’s top while Jinsook and Dayoung are laying on the end of it. Dawon, Soobin and Xuan Yi are cuddling on the floor, all sharing one blanket, and the rest is sitting on chairs Luda had gotten from their living room before.

Eunseo hasn’t arrived yet, having to help her parents with something, but she texted Luda that she’ll come later.

“Do you like the movie so far?”, Bona says, whispers to not disturb the others, and Luda shrugs. “I think I would have rather watched guardians of the galaxy, but this is fine too.” Bona chuckles quietly and robs closer to Luda. They watch in silence, and Luda glances at Bona, who is all into the movie, her eyes glistening.

Bona lets her hand slowly slides down her side, to Luda’s, and she entangles their fingers without missing a second of the movie. Luda squeezes it, and her heart is at ease.

“What do we watch now?”, Cheng Xiao says, yawning. “What about guardians of the galaxy?”, Bona suggests at once, pointing to the dozen of DVDs they had gathered on the floor. Luda raises an eye brow and Bona smirks at her. “Sure”, Sojung says, crawling to the recorder to change the DVD.

“I’ve got snacks and stuff in the kitchen”, Luda speaks up, “I’ll get it before the movie’s starting.” She makes a move to stand up, but Dawon and Xuan Yi stand up at once.

“Don’t worry, we’ll bring it”, Hyunjung says, also at her feet. (Sojung throws her a scoff. “We will?” - “We will”, Hyunjung scoffs back.)

“Yeah”, Jinsook says, already half out the door, “we’ll be back in a minute.”

Luda blinks, and everyone except Bona is gone.

“Okay”, she sighs, “what was that?”

Bona grins. “Maybe I asked them earlier to leave for a moment.”

Luda frowns. “Why?”

And Bona leans in, cups her cheeks and kisses Luda.

(Luda learns that Bona’s not only great at Volleyball.)

Bona slowly pulls away, but she’s still there, still in Luda’s atmosphere, with her nose almost touching hers.

“Lee Luda”, she whispers, “I’ve fallen in love with you. Please accept my confession.”

And Luda bursts out of laughing, because it’s just such a Bona thing to say, and then she steals another kiss, and another one, and one more because it feels so great and Bona loves her too.

They have dived into their own world, so neither of them sees the tall figure standing in the door.

But they hear Eunseo as the things she carried drop to the floor, clanking and clattering.

Luda jumps away from Bona’s lips to see the hurt in Eunseo’s eyes, and both Bona and her watch in shook when Eunseo mechanically turns on her heels and steps out of the room.

Luda quickly gets up and runs after her, leaving Bona on her bed.

“Eunseo!”, she calls, running down the stairs, chasing her as she’s a bit faster than her. They both ignore their friends in the kitchen, worriedly looking after them when Eunseo rips open the door and gets outside, Luda right after her.

“Eunseo, what are you doing?”, Luda yells, out of breathe when Eunseo finally stops. She can’t see her face as Eunseo’s turned her back to her, but she can see her shoulders shaking. Luda’s stomach drops. “What I’m doing?”, Eunseo mumbles, and Luda is horrified to hear that her voice trembles. In all years, Luda has never seen her like this.

“Luda, you’re kissing Bona. Bona. Someone you have known for what, five months? And you’re kissing her?”

Luda eyes her back. Eunseo hasn’t been facing her for the whole conversation.

“Juyeon, you’re being ridiculous. What’s with you?”

Eunseo finally turns around and Luda steps back. There’s tears in Eunseo’s eyes and on her cheeks and she’s a mess. And Luda realizes - way, way too late - that it’s her fault, somehow it’s Luda.

Eunseo takes a shaky breathe, and Luda gets a terrible gut feeling.

(Eunseo as a middle schooler, applying to the same High schools as Luda just so they can be together.

Eunseo blushing whenever they hug or hold hands or when they’re close.

Eunseo distancing herself from her, just to hold closer to her again.

Eunseo telling her that she’s thinking about asking Jinsook out, clearly watching her reaction.

Eunseo hating Luda’s crush with all she’s got.)

“I’m in love with you, Luda.”

They’ve all left when Luda comes home, tired and with swollen eyes.

It had turned dark next to them as they had a long, long talk.

(“Since when?”

“Remember that first vacation we took together?”

“Oh, God, Eunseo… that was years ago…”

“I know.”)

Luda has apologized a thousand times, just to get told it’s not her fault. She could see how tired Eunseo was, though, tired of loving someone who won’t love her back, and it feels like a knife turning in her stomach every time she thinks about it.

Bona hasn’t left.

She’s still sitting on Luda’s bed when Luda enters her room.

“I talked with the others”, Bona says, “they’re home.”

Luda nods, sitting down next to her.

“Is Eunseo home?”

“Yeah.” Luda fiddles with her hands, then she bursts, “She loves me. She has been loving me for years, and I didn’t know. I had no idea at all.”

Bona wraps an arm around Luda’s waist and waits. For what, Luda doesn’t know, and maybe Bona doesn’t know either because that’s how they spend the next minutes, together, in silence.

Luda closes her eyes.

Despite her suffering, a part of her heart is bright. It’s Bona.

It will always be Bona.

“Hey, Luda”, Bona mumbles, stroking her hair idly, “by the way, do you remember me from kindergarten?”

Luda turns her head, frowning in confusion. “Kindergarten?”

And the puzzle pieces come together. (Luda knew she had known Bona from somewhere.)

Luda gasps.

“You’re Kim Jiyeon. You’re the girl who annoyed me every day in freaking kindergarten.”

Bona scoffs. “That’s harsh. You weren’t quite the saint either. You always pulled my hair.”

“You did too!”, Luda complains, laughing, forgetting about her misery for a moment. “You would always steal the dolls I was playing with. It’s why I picked up a volleyball in first place.”

Bona smiles at her. “You are why I started playing. I always say you playing with it, so I wanted to try as well.”

They stay quiet, amazed by what they have find out, until Luda asks, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Bona shrugs. “I only found out some days ago. And now I figured you might needed some distraction.” Luda looks her into the eye and squeezes her hand.

“You’re not a distraction, Kim Jiyeon. You’re so much more than that.” Then, quieter, “I love you.”

Bona’s face is lightened with the brightest of a beam.

“I love you too, Lee Luda.”

Their red string of fate was knotted long time ago, just to connect them at this day.

And even if Luda still has things to make up with Eunseo, she has Bona.

Bona, who made her practice harder than ever before ; Bona who has showed her things she didn’t know existed.