#lettersryewrote

When I tell people I’ve been single for five years, I get one of the two responses, “Omg! That’s so long. Why?” or “Well that’s just fine, it’s good to be by yourself.” Both are deemed a tad bit condescending in my eyes.

 The first is just obvious; “OMG! That’s so long. Why!?” I want to know why you’re so appalled at the fact that I’ve been single for “so long.” Why is it so shocking that a person either isn’t looking or is genuinely enjoying getting to know themselves? It seems like, you meet someone and you’re instantly expected to be in a relationship with them. What happened to creating a friendship, really liking each other before you allow lust to take over? What happened to taking things slow? Why is everyone in such a rush to fall in love? 

The second is just an odd response; “Well that’s just fine, it’s good to be by yourself.” It could just be the fact that yes, I’m indeed very sensitive so I do take it personal that it sounds like you’re implying I don’t know how to be by myself. 

The truth is, I don’t know why I’ve been single for so long. Have there been suitable bachelors? Plenty! I’ve tested the waters with just “talking,” I’ve been courted, I’ve “dated,” you know the weird “we’re not official, but we’re exclusive, but we don’t call each other boyfriend or girlfriend, but we don’t have sex with other people, we might talk to other people but not as serious as we do with each other stage?” Yeah, that. And while none of them ended poorly, it just wasn’t the right time, or the right person and the funny thing is it was always a mutual feeling. I think you have to come to terms with and understand when things have to come to an end. Then you’re not left with questions, or sadness or heartache. 

I don’t really like to rush things like falling in love. Quite honestly these past five years have been great being single and exploring myself. I went on an insane journey when I moved to LA. I think I wasn’t meant to get caught up in love because I was learning to love myself and while I’m loving myself now; I am open to the idea of loving someone else, but again, I won’t press it. I think you know when you know and I just want someone with the same idea. Love is easy. We have to allow it to come to us, searching for love is the equivalent of being afraid it’ll never come. Let love come to you. You know?

(: