Bit of a progression, and some artistic surgery for Lav 💛 a disfunctional young adult who thinks too much and tries her very best to make things go boom
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Lan Wangji is sitting in the shade of a large tree with a book in one hand, the other petting a small white rabbit dozing in his lap, when Wei Wuxian leaps over the wall and lands in the gardens within the Palace of Enlightenment. He doesn’t even bat an eyelid when Wei Wuxian brushes himself off and stalks over and collapses in a miserable heap on the grass beside him.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cries. “Lan Zhan, why are there betrothal gifts in my chambers? From your palace?”
He tugs, on the hem of Lan Wangji’s robes with two fingers and puts on his best impression of a kicked puppy. Lan Wangji glances over at him briefly before returning to his book.
“For the engagement of course,” he replies, and turns a page.
Wei Wuxian gapes at him.
“What engagement?” When Lan Wangji doesn’t respond, Wei Wuxian tugs harder on his robes. “Lan Zhan! What engagement?”
He’s not freaking out. Nope. But he does feel a shriek building up in his chest and threatening to burst out of his mouth when Lan Wangji sighs, lowers his book and looks at him with a look one would usually reserve for a cute, but possibly slow, child.
“Ours,” he says, stroking the top of the rabbit’s head with one finger.
“Ours?” Wei Wuxian repeats faintly.
When did they get engaged? When did Lan Wangji propose? Or had he proposed to Lan Wangji?
Lan Wangji raises an eyebrow. “Is there something wrong?”
Wei Wuxian is going to throttle him. But then Lan Wangji’s lips twitch upward and his heart stutters to a halt. Gosh, he’s so pretty.
No, focus.
“I never agreed to an engagement!” he says, heat rushing to his cheeks. He points a finger accusingly in Lan Wangji’s face. “Who said I wanted to marry you?”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, Wei Wuxian knows he’s stepped out of line. There is nothing wrong with marrying Lan Wangji per se, and he would do so in a heartbeat—wait, no. Not the point. Still, he shouldn’t have insulted Lan Wangji like that. He opens his mouth to apologise, but the words die in his throat when Lan Wangji hums, raising one elegant eyebrow.
“So you would rather marry one of your many suitors then?” he asks. He looks supremely unruffled, which just isn’t fair.
"What? No!"
"I don't see an issue then," Lan Wangji says, turning back to his book.
Wei Wuxian splutters.
"Don't see an—Lan Zhan!" He sits up on his heels to bring himself at eye level with Lan Wangji, who meets his gaze steadily. "Are you really okay with people thinking we're getting married? What if you find someone you actually like later on and they think you're engaged?"
Lan Wangji fixes him with a look that could be exasperation, but may also be the glare of the sun in his eyes, and sighs. He places the rabbit down on the ground and it hops away to nibble on the grass; he then reaches out to brush a strand of hair back from Wei Wuxian's face gently. Wei Wuxian tenses upon contact, but the fingers travel further back, behind his ear, and then he feels it: a light scratch at his hairline.
His brain grinds to a halt and his head subconsciously leans into the touch as his eyes drift closed. And then, from deep in his chest, there is a low, soft rumble.
He jerks away, mortified. Lan Wangji studies him with a glint in his eye, his hand falling back to his side.
“Y-You didn’t see anything!” Wei Wuxian says, pressing his hands to his burning cheeks. “Nothing happened!”
Lan Wangji nods placatingly. “Of course.”
Wei Wuxian turns his back on Lan Wangji, his heart hammering in his chest. He’d just purred. He hasn’t done that to anyone outside of his family for at least ten thousand years, and yet here he was, purring because he’d been petted—by Lan Wangji—like a kit!
Behind him, Lan Wangji huffs, lips twitching, and goes back to his book.
Notes:
Title is a literal translation of the Chinese phrase 雙喜臨門 (shuang xi lin men) which means “Double Happiness” (i.e. the double happiness character you see in Chinese weddings 囍). It also refers to two happy events happening one after the other.
This is...just gonna be lighthearted. And not at all serious. Hence the corny title.
We’ve got full control of the agency now. You are all- ~ Ken
Are people seeing this? Are we in public now? ~ Bart
Yes, Bart, we’ve taken control of the agency, as I said. Anyway- ~ Ken
I don’t have to kill anyone? I don’t want to kill them. The Universe doesn’t want me to. ~ Bart
No, you don’t have to kill anyone, yet. But remember that you don’t have to- ~ Ken
Listen to the Universe, the Universe is wrong, blah blah blah. You’ve told me all this stuff before. I get it. ~ Bart
Heh. Ken, you might wanna get this one under control, too. ~ Priest
Look, everything is fine. We just have to let the people know that it’s all going to be alright, if they listen to what we have to say. Hold on, Mr Priest - you’re meant to be looking after the hostages. ~ Ken
I got Assistent on them. ~ Priest
But Assistent isn’t- ~ Ken
He’s scared; that’s what he is. He’s gonna do as I told him to. ~ Priest
Is Project Incubus with Project Icarus? Are they in direct contact with anyone? ~ Ken
Nah, they’re in separate rooms. Can’t have them feeding off people, can we? ~ Priest
Correct. Now, don’t worry, everyone; ‘Dirk Gently’ is unharmed. He’s safe now, and all of you can go about your daily business. ~ Ken
What if they want to ask questions? We’ll let them ask questions, yeah? ~ Bart
And there are some precious ones left in the inbox. I reckon we could have a bit of fun. ~ Priest
Fine. But don’t forget what we’re here to do. ~ Ken
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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also,!! Harlowe should offer Crina a glass of water that Crina struggles to hold herself bc she's weak from all the crying and shaking like the pathetic soppy kitten she is, so Harlowe has to help her (to prove to herself that she's needed and to prove to crina it's okay to need help)
