#ler!raiden

Lena giggled on the call, imagining what kind face the captain would be making. “When I asked you ‘how was your day’, I wasn’t requesting an official report, captain.”

“Ah,” he looked up to the starless sky, letting out a small chuckle, “my mistake, then.”

“Let me try again,” Lena smiled, twirling a strand of hair in her hand, “how was your day, captain?”

“Peaceful, I suppose,” Shin muttered, closing his eyes as he barely gave his own words much thought before speaking them out loud. There was no need for those formalities, after all. 

While Shin let himself sink in the casual - and private - conversation with the squad’s handler, two pairs of eyes peeked at him from the corner of the closest doorframe. Theo and Raiden slowly retreated back inside, with Shin’s voice almost fading in the distance.

“They are doing it again,” Theo mumbled, a pinch of annoyance in his voice. “Tsk, ‘let’s wrap up for today’ my foot, they just wanted to talk by themselves.”

“Hah, and you are jealous? Of him or the major?” Raiden teased, scoffing. Still, he couldn’t deny that it was - at least - curious that the oh-so-reserved Undertaker agreed in spending some hours of each of his nights chit chatting with the handler. 

Theo frowned, leaning to get another peek at his captain, “whatever. Are you ready?” The blonde grinned, looking at Raiden with the corner of his eyes and feeling excitement sparkle inside his chest when the other man nodded.

It was time to put their plan into action.

“...and then we had lunch together. It was pretty nice,” Shin commented, not aware of the shy smile that took place in his lips while talking to Lena - and also not aware of the two figures silently moving in the background. 

“I can imagine,” Lena, on the other end of the call, had already moved away from her desk. Strolling around her bedroom, the handler eyed the balcony, thinking about the squad under her care. “So, according to your report,” she continued, jokingly, “the squad went through some training during the afternoon. Did you join them this time, captain?”

“Someone needs to keep an eye on the group,” Shin replied in a monotone, making Lena wonder if he was being serious or joking back at her. While some other members were like an open book, it was pretty hard to get a grip on Shin's feelings sometimes. 

Walking over her bed, Lena sat on the edge of the mattress before allowing herself to fall on the soft surface. Swinging her feet in the air, the handler pondered about her next words, not wanting to let the conversation end at that point.

“But,” Shin resumed, picking up the topic from where he had left it. “I did take pa-ahart- h-hey!”

“Huh?” Lena frowned, rolling onto her side and laying on her stomach. “Captain, is everything all right?” She narrowed her eyes, doubling the attention she was paying to the conversation, but all she could hear from the other sound were… some sort of static? Or some other type of unknown noise. “Shin,” Lena insisted, “did something happen?”

“G-give meheh a secohond!”

Eh?

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, gently rubbing her eyes. She must’ve misheard it, but, for a moment, she could swear that Shin was… laughing?

“S-sure, but you’re ok, right?”

“Y-yehes, it’s just- agh, you two, stohohop it!”

“Huh? W-who is there?” Lena inquired, but nothing that sounded like an answer came from Shin’s end - just more noise, lots of noise. On the other side of the line, Shin fought as if his life depended on it. Sadly, it all seemed like a losing battle.

Theo and Raiden, working together like they never did, grinned at the Undertaker. 

“What’s wrong? ~ Aren’t you going to answer the major? ~” Theo teased, keeping his arm wrapped around Shin’s leg while his other hand dug and prodded at the sides of Shin’s thigh and the back of his restrained knee.

Raiden, standing behind the captain, held Shin’s head in an armlock while his other hand moved against the captain’s sides and ribs, playing him like some sort of instrument. Unlike Theo, Raiden remained quiet, not wanting his voice to be captured by the mic - still, there was no need for words when his expression said all he wanted to.

“I-it’s nohohoting, m-major,” Shin gritted his teeth, trying to somehow coordinate his moves between punching Raiden in the face and kicking Theo away - but it was all for nought. “J-just sohohome minor i-issues!”

Lena felt the back of her throat going dry, unable to say something back while Shin’s laughter echoed through the voice call. Lena felt some heat spreading up to her face, tainting her pale skin with a bright shade of red. “S-should we stop for today? I don’t want to-”

“NOHohoh,” Shin laughed, his voice raising slightly as Raiden managed to dig his fingers under his arm, “a-ahah, i-it’s fihihine!”

The handler jumped in her bed, sitting up in a hurry. “A-are you sure?” She chuckled nervously, pressing her hands against her flustered cheeks.

“Y-yehehes!” Shin pressed his eyes shut while a large grin spread over his face. “J-just gihihive me a sehecond t-to- agh, dahahamn it!”

“O-ok, ok,” Lena smiled, “I will call you back in a few minutes.”

click

As soon as her fingers hit the button, the handler fell back into her bed and let out a huge, dreamy sigh. “I can’t believe… they actually followed my orders. I need to thank Theo and Raiden later…” 

It wouldn't be such a big deal, except that he'd never met Raiden Ei, Only her sister Makoto. From Venti's knowledge, Makoto was much nicer than Ei is, and he even got on her nerves. Could you imagine what Ei would be like?

The traveler wasn't any help, either. He just said stuff like, "Don't worry, if she's an Archon than she has to be somewhat nice to you, right?" Or "She's probably mostly harmless." Neither of these were true, as the only two Archons that were somewhat tolerant of him was Makoto and the Tsaristsa. And Ei was one of the most powerful archons.

Nevertheless, Venti had promised to stick with Aether this entire trip, so he'd suck it up and continue on. This did work out for awhile, until the Shogun decided to show up in the flesh one day. And to make it worse, Aether wasn't even with him

"There you are," said the cold voice. Venti immediately tensed, slowly turning to face her. He mustered up any brat attitude he could before he spoke.

"Aha! I see little ol' me has already caught the eye of the Almighty Shogun. To what do I owe the plessure?"

She just stared back, seemingly not impressed. "For one, I am not the puppet, I am Ei. Second, I'm afraid charm doesn't work. Please come with me. If you refuse I will not be kind."

Venti thought for a second 'The puppet?' Yet he still spoke, "Why would I refuse such an amazing offer?" He tried to sound confident, but he was not excited to see where this would lead.

~~time skip because lazy writing~~

"So this is where you stay? Quite interesting!" Venti smiled brightly, this being the first thing said since the two had started walking.

"Why are you speaking to me like we are old friends?" Ei looked disappointedly at Venti.

"Because we technically are!"

"Please do explain how we are."

Venti hesitated, "Because I'm Barbatos, God of freedom!"

Ei almost laughed. Almost.

"Please, I'm not stupid. You really expect me to believe that you are Barbatos?"

"Well, yes, because I am! I get you've never met me in person, but really?" He pouted and crossed his arms.

"Even if you were to be the Archon of Freedom, which I sincerely doubt, you would be the opposite of eternity. The enemy, if you will. I have no reason to respect you." Raiden shifted slightly, as if to get a better look at the other. She studied him astutely.

Venti looked mildly offended, turning away from the younger, "Soften the blow, much?" He then turned around to walk away, but he never got the chance. Raiden grabbed his side, causing him to jump and squeak slightly before pivoting to glare at her.

"I knew it. If you were an Archon, that wouldn't work unless you let it. And I doubt anyone would simply let that happen."

Venti flushed. "Tell that to Morax..."

"He was assassinated, was he not?"

"Not really. He's still living in Liyue under the name Zhongli, but he is no longer Rex Lapis."

"Well then, it would make sense to not classify him as an Archon anymore, correct?" She said smugly. Venti's face dropped. "So, are you going to admit you are not Barbatos, or I am going to have to make you?"

Venti didn't like his options, but he had to choose. He decided protecting his title was more important, "I am Barbatos though!"

The younger grabbed his hip this time, elicting another squeak. Raiden Ei smirked, "So then, answer me this; if you were to be an Archon, why would you want to be so... sensitive?"

"I- I um..." Venti blushed profusely, and Raiden seemed to understand.

"Pathetic. Well, since you don't seem to be letting up your act, I suppose you have decided that I must make you." Raiden stepped forward as Venti stepped back, his eyes wide.

"Now, now, no need to be hasty..." He took one more step and booked it. Of course, he didn't get far at all, as Ei was one step ahead. She basically teleported right infront of him and tackled him to the floor, to which he screeched like a little girl.

"Nonononono! This isn't necessary! Release me!" He struggled like his life depended on it. It kind of did, though, so nobody can blame him.

"I do not think I will, Venti." She smugly smiled at the smallers squirming, "Hmm... This may be a problem..." She studies his corset, then begins untying it.

"Hey now! I don't appreciate my corset being disrespected!" He tried to push her hands away, but she just grabbed both of his and pulled them above his head. "Waitwaitwaitwait, no!" Next thing he knew, his corset was on the floor next to them and her hand was hovering above his stomach.

"Last chance."

"I am barbatos!"

"Your funeral." With that, she started scribbling across his stomach, causing him to shriek and start laughing hysterically. He kicked his legs up and down, but to no avail. All was fine for Ei, until he kneed her in the back, which resulted in her squeezing his knee. He screamed, straightened his legs, and arched his back. That put an end to any ideas of kicking her again.

"Thihis ihis NOHOHOT fahair!"

"I think this is plenty fair. Do you want to see not fair? I'll show you not fair."

Immediately after, Venti felt tiny shocks of electro as she scribbled. Not enough to hurt, of course, but enough to feel. And boy he felt it.

"NOHOHO NOHOT ELEHECTROHO!"

"You wanted not fair, I gave you not fair. You know how to stop this."

"Ihi aham nohot gohoing toho tehell you a lihiehe! Aha nohot nihice!"

"You do know that by saying you do not enjoy or tolerate this, you are admitting that you are not an Archon, correct?"

"Thahats nohot- ihi cahant sahay-"

"Can't say what? You enjoy this? Or you're not Barbatos?"

"Bohoth!"

Raiden switched to raking her nails up Venti's ribs, then all the way back down. He squirmed more intensely than before, and Raiden noticed something peculiar. He wasn't trying to get away.

"Well, if you wouldn't let yourself be ticklish-" she was interrupted mid-sentence.

"SHUHUT UHUP!" Venti's face grew redder, and his squirming became worse.

"Oh? What is this?" Ei leaned closer to him and paused her attack for a moment, noticing his greedy breaths. "Is it the word that gets to you? Can you not handle it? Let's see..." She began to squeeze his hips, giving him a break from the electro, not that it felt any different. "Tckltckltckltckl!"

"NOHO BEHE QUIHIEHET! SHUHUHUSH!" Venti was bucking at this point. He tugged on his arms and tried to throw her off of him, but he failed.

"You are telling me to shush? You're the loudest one here."

"YOHOU AHARE WOHORSE THAHAN MORAX!"

"Am I, now? I am not even doing my worst."

"WHAHAT?!"

"Let me show you," she summoned electro to hold the olders arms in place, turned to face his knees and thighs, and went crazy. She used electricity as she scribbled, Squeezed, spidered, scratched, and even traced. Venti screamed, then fell silent. He didn't kick, out of fear of hurting the younger. She took notice of that, too.

It went on like this for another minute or two before Ei heard frantic tapping from Venti. She assumed it was him tapping out, so she stopped and flipped around to face him. He didn't let his arms free though.

"So, are you barbatos, or not?" Ei crossed her arms and leaned towards his face.

"I- ihi am Barbatos. And I dohont care if you don't believe me, but-" fear of another round was eminent in his voice.

"I know you are."

"You what now?"

"I know you are Barbatos. I knew even before I came to collect you in Ritou." She smiled, as of she just awarded him a trophy.

"So then what was the point of all that?"

"Oh Morax sent a letter that you would be visiting and told me to mess with you. The traveler was in on it too." Venti flushed, and he hid his face in his arm.

"Did Zhongli tell you to do this exact thing?" He mumbled.

Ei nodded, "He knew you didn't mind being tickled - don't make that face at me - so he said that would be a good idea. Also the whole thing about the 'admit you like it or you're not an archon' thing is true. You chose to be ticklish-" a groan from Venti, "So this is your fault, really."

"Great, can you let me go now?" He grumbled.

"I suppose I could." Ei delivered one last poke to his stomach before standing up, walking a safe distance away, then releasing him. He brought his arms down quickly and sat up. Then he stood and fought with putting his corset back on.

"Why did you have to it off. Why does everybody take it off. It's supposed to be protection!"

"Everybody, huh? This happens often then?"