#ler!essek

That was something he still hadn’t gotten used to, the physical closeness that seemed to naturally come to the group. It was one thing to see them be close with each other, but to openly and unabashedly include him in things like hugs and gentle touches on the arm was both intimidating yet inviting. He still wasn’t sure what to think of it.

He thought about this as he made his way to the living room, only to find an unexpected sight on the couch.

Laying there were three figures, Beau was seated with her back to the arm of the couch, turned and holding Caleb’s arms back in a hug from behind while he was laid out. Jester sat on top of his legs, wiggling her fingers menacingly towards him.

“Come on, Caleb,” she sang in a teasing voice, “you need to relax! You always get so worked up before a lesson, there’s nothing to be nervous about!”

“I do not!” He protested through his laughter, kicking his legs and squinting his eyes shut as he refused to look at her.

“Bullshit,” Beau replied from behind him. “You get way too in your own head, you know you need to loosen up a little bit.”

“That is not true at a-HAHAHAHALL!” He was interrupted as Jester brought her hands down to his ribs, gently scribbling underneath the holsters that were always by his sides. With his head thrown back, cackling like mad for all the room to hear, it was clear the hysterical laughter had been coming from him this entire time.

Normally Essek would have made his presence known by now, but he was captivated by the sight of Caleb’s flushed, smiling face as his high pitched, hysterical laughter flowed. He would never have expected that such a sound could have come from his current student. It captured all of his focus, making it so he could barely process what was being said around him, only the sound of cackles seemed to reach his ears clearly. He didn’t even notice when Caduceus came back into the room with a tray of cups and cookies in his hands.

“Alright, who wants drinks?” He called out, suddenly pulling Essek back to reality, and gaining the attention of Caleb’s torturers.

“Oh, me!” Jester shouted happily as she leapt off of Caleb, skipping her way to Caduceus. She didn't even glance at Essek as she grabbed a cup along with a cookie on the side to dip in it.

“Sweet,” Beau let go of Caleb’s arms, only to turn and stop suddenly when she spotted Essek in the doorway. Caleb was quick to follow her gaze, nearly choking when he noticed his mentor.

“E-Essek!” He scrambled to get off the couch, being sure to stand tall as he fixed his ruffled hair. “I, um, I did not mean to- ah, keep you waiting.”

Beau awkwardly got up from her spot and made her way to Caduceus, grabbing a cup of tea to sip on while she watched the mess unfold.

Essek became aware of how warm his face felt, imagining it had become a bright magenta by now. Clearing his throat, he tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible.

“Oh, of course. It was, ah, not a long wait at all.” He quickly grabbed a cup of tea and started sipping.

Caleb made sure to avoid eye contact as he rushed out the door. “I will meet you in the usual spot.” He said swiftly as he brushed past.

Caduceus chuckled, making a note to bring him some tea later. “Don’t worry about him. Laughter’s good for the soul, some people just need a bit more help with it than others.” With that he slipped out of the room back to the kitchen, Beau closely tailing him with a smirk. Jester was the only one that stayed in the room.

“Oh boy,” she whispered, still with a smile on her face. “Caleb’s probably, like, embarrassed or something."

Essek stared at her, finally able to control his expression now that Caleb had left. “I, um, did not mean to cause anyone discomfort.”

“Oh, it’s totally not your fault,” she explained. “Caleb just thinks too much, so we sometimes have to get him to let go and not think for a while. He always gets all red and blushy when we tickle him though. It’s super cute, isn’t it?” She stared back at Essek, a single eyebrow raised, trying to gauge his reaction.

He cleared his throat in an attempt to keep his composure. Caleb was usually as well composed as he was. Seeing him suddenly with his guard down, laughing without care or need to keep up usual appearances, it was strange. But not unwelcome. “It was definitely… different.”

“Yeah, he’s so serious all the time. It’s nice making him laugh like that.” She smirked.

Oh, she had definitely noticed his face flushing earlier, there was no doubt that her mischievous gaze was analyzing him that whole time. He tried sipping from the cup again to calm himself.

“You know,” she continued, “I bet you could try it out yourself.”

He nearly spat out his tea, catching himself right before it could go down the wrong pipe.

“Ooooo, I bet he would totally love it! You know, he absolutely loves when we do it, he never fights it or tells us to stop. We usually do it when he’s feeling nervous.”

When was the last time he engaged in tickling? It must have been decades, the only memories coming to mind being from his youth with his brother, even then the memories were few and far between. No, their relationship, though becoming more casual, still remained somewhat professional. What would Caleb think if Essek were to break that persona he’d built up after all this time, suddenly behaving so childishly? It would destroy any respect he had for him. The fact that he was even considering such a thing was ludicrous.

Her eyebrows raised suggestively. “You know, he’s probably even more nervous to be alone in a room with you now. It could help…”

“If you don’t mind, we have a lesson to get to,” Essek brushed his clothes off as he floated off the ground, bringing his cup with him.

“You should totally do it!” She called after him, though he was already out the door.

As fast as his magic allowed him, he floated to Caleb’s room, where they usually held their lessons to avoid any distractions (mostly Jester).

He shut the door behind him before he turned to Caleb, already with notes out on his writing desk and books opened. He was always prepared for whatever lessons Essek would throw at him, but today he shifted awkwardly in his chair, not quite sure where to put his hands or where to look.

Essek cleared his throat. “So, shall we?” He asked, using mage hand to pull a chair next to him before taking a seat.

He tried to get through an introduction, but found himself distracted every time he tried to look Caleb in the eyes to see if he was following. Each time he did, his mind flashed back to earlier, when that face was alight with the widest smile he’d ever seen on him. His face flushed each time, and he decided to just look down at the books and references he had out.

Caleb usually followed just fine, but he seemed a bit distracted as well. He gave grunts and little nods to show that he was listening, but no verbal confirmation. Every time he looked over and met Essek’s gaze, he quickly averted his eyes. It was evident that neither of them were in the state of mind to give or receive a lesson.

Essek put a hand to his head, rubbing at the temple trying to get himself together. Perhaps it would be best if they postponed the lesson-

“I apologize about before.” Caleb blurted out. “Before the lesson I mean. We were goofing off, and it was unprofessional, and I did not mean for you to, ah, to keep you waiting.” His apology seemed to spill out faster as he rambled on. “And I- I hope you do not think of me any less. Less than capable.”

It took a lot to stun Essek, and this was a rare moment that he was taken aback. “Think less of you? Is that really what you're worried about?”

Caleb lowered his head, afraid his embarrassment would be obvious if he could see his expression.

“Mr. Widowghast, I’ve seen you do extraordinary things. You have faced dragons, faced leaders of nations, learned magic far faster than anyone I’ve ever seen, and taken to dunamancy like it’s second nature to you. You are nothing if not capable.” He found himself unable to stop his stream of praise, only just catching himself as he thought about the other things he loved about him. “What would make you think I thought any less of you?”

Caleb’s eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected, sincere praise. “It’s just, this lesson, it has been tense.” He sighed in relief, addressing the elephant in the room. “I suppose that is mostly my fault though. I have not let many people close enough to see me like… that. I suppose my imagination made me feel like you saw me differently.”

Guilt washed over Essek, realizing that either Caleb was more perceptive than he thought, or he hadn’t been keeping as straight a face as he hoped he had. Jester’s words echoed in his mind, ‘he’s probably even more nervous to be alone in a room with you.’ Has his behavior affected Caleb that much?

“I apologize, Mr. Widowgast,” he admitted, “I didn’t mean to cause you any discomfort, I was just… surprised I suppose. I cannot say I’ve been around many people who, ah, act so carefree with each other.” Not to mention he had never seen Caleb laugh so freely before, but there was only so much information he was willing to admit.

“Ah. I see.” Caleb smiled. “Even I have not gotten entirely used to everything our little group throws at me. Especially the more mischievous ones.”

That small smile brought Essek’s eyes back on him. Gentle and sincere, but it had him craving more of it. Jester's words of advice, and temptation, rang through his head. ‘You should totally do it!’ It was selfish, he knew, but he felt restless just looking at it. He needed to see that bright, wide grin again. But he couldn’t risk losing Caleb’s trust.

That’s when another piece of advice played through his head. What was it Jester had said earlier? ‘We sometimes have to get him to let go and not think for a while.’ He’d definitely been distracted throughout the lesson as well, lost in his own thoughts and doubts. That could be his ticket.

“You still seem to be awfully tense,” he commented.

Caleb chuckled nervously. “I assure you I’m fine.” He still couldn’t make eye contact with the shadowhand. It was plain as day that there were lingering doubts remaining.

“Your friend mentioned something interesting.” He tried to bring it up naturally. “Apparently this silly activity of yours helps you to relax a bit.”

Caleb’s face was starting to match his hair. “I, um, they sometimes try it.”

“Does it work?”

“It can- I mean it’s, ah, you see the release of endorphins through-“ He continued his overly complicated explanation of how laughter causes one to feel happier, but Essek could only analyze his face and body language. He was closed in, as if protecting himself, all while his eyes were pointed strictly at the ground, but as he fiddled his hands it was clear there was a nervous excitement there. The lengthy explanation was a deflection, there was more to it than just an artificial way to boost his mood. Everything Jester had mentioned earlier, how he always got flushed and embarrassed when people brought up tickling him, he was shy about it.

And Essek needed to know more. He had to see his face scrunched up in an uncontrolled grin as he shook with laughter. It reminded him of when he first witnessed dunamantic magic being cast, the desire to know how it worked, a draw to the source of the power, wanting to know how it felt conjuring it with his own hands. He wanted to study Caleb just as thoroughly.

But if he wanted to conduct this experiment, he would need to be somewhat subtle.

“You know,” Essek interrupted, “I have never extensively studied the subject. Your explanation is fascinating, but surely you would understand that I prefer to do my own research?” Perhaps Jester’s mischievous nature had rubbed off on him a bit, because the way Caleb’s face lit up in surprise sent a certain thrill through him.

“I-I understand you are a curious individual.” Caleb finally managed through his flustered state, only half believing that this wasn’t some sort of dream. That he’d fallen asleep during the lesson and his desires had created a fantasy he was living.

“Then perhaps we can help each other. You can relax well in my presence, and I can satiate my curiosity.”

Caleb’s eyes widened as reality shook him. This was really happening.

His friends he could handle tickling him. Time with them had lowered his barriers, freeing his playful side that didn’t mind being seen as silly or unprofessional, but Essek was different. Sure, they were allies, and his trust in Essek had been slowly growing over the time he’d known him, but there was something about him that kept him on edge. He found himself analyzing every move he made around him, stared at his hands as he cast his magic, and any time he caught him staring he could feel his face flush. It felt like being a student at the academy again, watching his companions in admiration. Was it this admiration, or cautiousness that made him so anxious? Either way, the thought of Essek’s hands scribbling along his ribs made butterflies flutter in his stomach.

“Wait, Essek!” He tried to bargain as he scooted his chair further away, only succeeding at pinning himself closer to the wall, “Is this truly necessary?” He could already feel laughter beginning to bubble up in his belly as he grew more and more cornered, the feeling of inevitability taking over him.

“Oh, Mr. Widogast,” he chuckled, “you out of everyone should know how important hands-on experience is when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge.” He nudged his own chair over to him, close enough that he didn’t have to lean too far over to reach Caleb’s trembling frame.

Though he had little experience tickling anyone, his fingers had a sort of grace to them, similar to how he casted magic. The light, fluttering tips of his fingers found their way to Caleb’s sides, and the moment he felt them make contact the laughter started pouring over. He tried to hold it back, only being able to helplessly squirm in place while he brought his hands up to cover his mouth.

Ah, no real effort to get away, Essek noted. Not even so much as trying to get out of his seat, but enough self preservation to cover his most vulnerable targets, along with his smile.

Even with the protection of his clothes, Caleb’s nerves lit up with every brush. As he squirmed back and forth, Essek managed to find a spot where his shirt had ridden up, scribbling along the exposed skin near his hips as Caleb curled in on himself, trying his best to block the sensation while still holding his hands to his face.

“I’m starting to see why they had to hold your arms back,” Essek commented nonchalantly, a grin subtly growing.

“Scheiße!” Caleb snickered as he kicked his feet, already feeling his legs turn to jelly as ticklish shocks seemed to jolt his body.

Essek could feel his body twitch with every repressed snicker as he gently squeezed his sides. He tried shifting to his stomach, gently kneeling at the soft, vulnerable area, and the dam finally broke. Caleb giggled into his hands as he continued shielding his face. Not nearly the same level as the cackling Essek had heard from him earlier, but an entirely sweet, high pitched sound that danced its way to his ears. When he put a bit more pressure behind it, Caleb would kick his legs out and yelp in surprise.

Tickling him was like learning to play a new instrument, having to test the pressure and the rhythm of his fingers to get the best sounds. Essek wanted to learn them all, each technique that would bring forth more beautiful music.

In the meantime Caleb’s arms stubbornly remained where they were, keeping his book holsters in place to protect his ribs while still managing to turn his face away just enough to keep most of it covered.

Essek chucked in amusement, “This would be much easier if you moved your arms out of the way.” He poked around his under arms, wherever his fingers could sneak past under the careful guard. “Experiments need to be thoroughly detailed, no variable left unobserved.”

Caleb squeaked with each jab that came dangerously close to his most sensitive spots, fighting the urge to grab Essek’s hands just to get them to stop their torment.

“That should include taking notes,” he continued as he kept up the prodding. “A shame I don’t have any hands free. Perhaps, with that oh so keen mind of yours, you can recount the process from the beginning so I can create a journal entry.”

Caleb couldn’t tell if he was trying to tease intentionally or not, but Essek was a natural either way. He wasn’t sure what was worse: Jester's constant comments on his smile and laugh whenever she attacked him, or Essek’s nonchalant, analytical remarks.

“Ehehehehessek!” He whined through his hands, feeling like he would melt completely if Essek kept it up.

Essek froze for just a moment at the sound of his name. The sweet, light giggles were already so endearing, but the sound of Caleb giggling out his name? It was a melody. That itch to see his face, to hear him cackle and call out his name in a cacophony of laughter, it was near maddening.

The sudden stop was enough to throw Caleb off guard, just enough for him to relax slightly while he debated whether or not to open his eyes, fearful that if he made eye contact Essek would see right into his soul. That drop was all that Essek needed to shoot his hands under his holsters and start skittering across his ribs.

He thought Caleb’s scream from the living room had been loud, but now, right next to him with his fingers delicately teasing between his ribs, the sound was like an explosion.

“EHEHEHEHESSEK! NOHOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE! BITTE!” The surprise from the sudden attack right after a moment of relief made for a perfect storm. His hands immediately lowered from his face to try and desperately grab at the offending hands, and Essek finally had his prize.

Caleb’s head was thrown back in a smile that looked like it could split his face, it was so wide, and only now did Essek notice that he had dimples that lined both cheeks. From under his hands, sweat had been beading on his brow and gave his face a shimmer from the reflecting room light, all while crumpling his hair into a tangled, damp mess on his forehead. His entire face had turned nearly the same shade of red as his hair, burning so warm that Essek could practically feel him radiating heat.

It was… beautiful.

As Caleb started taking deep, greedy gulps of air, Essek realized his hands had stopped moving. How long had he been staring like this? A few moments? Hours? It felt like time had frozen while he was looking at him, like what he’d always imagined it would feel like to stop time completely.

And with that, the realization of just how close he was pressed to Caleb dawned on him. He retreated his hands and scooted his seat back, horrified.

As he backed away, Caleb curled in on himself, holding his aching sides as he took deep breaths to sooth his remaining laughter. He looked at Essek with those squinted, teary eyes of his, and it was almost enough to make him think it was worth it.

Almost.

“M-My apologies,” he stuttered out, “I did not mean to- I mean I didn’t-“ Oh Luxon help him. How could he have taken things so far, gotten so physically close to an associate? The professionalism he strived for, torn down by something as childish as this. Had being around this group for so long clouded his judgement that much?

“That was,” Caleb paused, still wheezing between breaths. “Unexpected, to say the least.”

Essek debated whether he should just turn and run out the door, or maybe just teleport away. That would at least save him the embarrassment of having to explain himself.

“I must admit, I thought Jester would be the one to keep me on my toes. If I didn’t know better I would say she put you up to it.” His playful, accusatory tone helped to ease the rushing panic, but embarrassment still flooded Essek’s mind.

“She may have mentioned… something.” He confessed.

Caleb just chuckled. “She truly is a menace.”

Essek finally snapped out of his trance, holding a hand out to help Caleb up.

“I'm sorry, again.”

Caleb stared at the hand before taking it, a huff of air escaping him as he stood.

“No need for apologies, my friend.”

He was about to insist when a realization hit him. Caleb had called him “friend”. Not sir, not “shadowhand”, nor any other title, just simply friend. He wasn’t sure the last time someone had called him that, even less so the last time someone meant it. He had made friends.

“This is all just so... different,” he sighed. The casualness of his relationship with the nein, the lack of any decorum or need for professionalism, all the things he’d spent years perfecting, suddenly thrown out the window, all to see Caleb’s smile and hear his laugh again.

“I think I know what you mean.” Caleb shyly rubbed the back of his head. “I haven’t had people to rely on, friends to rely on, in years. It’s new, scary almost, to drop your guard. It has taken me a long time to let go of,” he hummed as he gestured to himself. “Keeping up appearances. It’s hard to do so when you're surrounded by friends like these.”

Essek chuckled at that. “They are rather persuasive.”

“Ha, that is putting it lightly.”

A sudden bang on the door startled them out of the moment.

“Ow!” A muffled yelp came from the other side of the door.

It slowly opened, and in walked Caduceus with a tray of tea and cookies. Jester had fallen to the ground, posed like she had been pressing her ear to the door, with Beau kneeling next to her.

“Hi,” Caduceus said, as casual as ever. “Thought I would bring that tea.”

He walked to the desk and put the tray down. “Feel free to join us in the living room.” And just as quickly, he headed out the door.

Jester rubbed her head, still giggling all the while.

“I didn’t think you would ACTUALLY do it!” She exclaimed.

Both Caleb and Essek’s faces flushed the same time.

“You’ve been spending too much time with us,” Beau added.

Essek sighed, inclined to agree with her.

“You guys should totally join us,” Jester smirked, “I don’t think you’ll be getting much studying done anyway.”

She giggled fondly as she turned to make her way back to the living room. Beau followed, only giving a knowing smirk before she took off.