#legoule

This morning I was walking Arlo. Sun on my face and a happy puppy on the lead. Just ahead, was a very shiny white lexus midsized SUV waiting to turn down the street I was crossing. As I continued on and the driver began to turn, I caught sight of her. She looked very much like you. My heart sank with longing. Her hair style, the big sunglasses, her arms, hands, motion. It was all you. Beautifully you. I projected this onto an unsuspecting passerby, and wished with all I am that she was you looking for me. I smiled at her. I smiled like it was all true. I smiled like she was you. I smiled like the smile would be returned with love. I smiled with hope I knew was hopeless. I smiled though I knew my wish would never come true. I smiled like this crumb might sustain me. I held my breath, then let it go slowly. I pet Arlo’s head and we walked on toward home.

Love, having fallen to pieces, becomes a language lost, with no one left to hear the words.

First kiss. you reached out in hunger. my face in your hands you guided me upward to your lips and you kissed me with such desire of discovery. Tasting me, a slight moan escaping. My heart racing and dizzy with the wonder and deliciousness of you. I kissed back as if all my life had led to that moment. My hand at the soft curve of your neck and wanting so much more, I languished in your touch and wanted it to last forever. In a way it has. I will never forget you. Your kiss. Your love, or that I was once yours.

your demons don't scare me. why do my demons scare you?

No matter how romantic memories of previous successes may further darken the comparison to your current situation, you are alive, Just Keep Trying

I don’t know why else I choose you, other than, to me you are yes. Automatic, as if the thought has already been given time to become an understood and obvious known. Like how to tie a bow or to smile, I don’t have to think about it, my muscles and happiness just know how. Friendly, lovely, a reciprocal hug. Old agreements that still apply. I choose to listen. I choose to give. I choose to stay. I choose you.

why does desperation have to look a certain way to be noticed, or when noticed, seen as valid?

in moments of strength, i do not feel the need to define myself.