#leevarambles

sometimes i want to love you so much i fear my heart will burst my lungs will wither inside my ribcage or just sit, stopped, like muted birds

and i hold my own hands because when youre not here sometimes i want to hold your hand so bad i think my wrist might break

-

I would like to immerse myself with you

to become so small and so gone no one would remember

like i was old, because we forget them

constantly

and then i would be your secret

like a ghost in your house

like a romeo crawling in your window

but i dont want to fuck

i want to sit with you and draw out lines so long we continue through the book and ask "did it end?"

and i want someone to say no

and i want to watch you do things,

or maybe rather just watch the light reflect the beauty

that you possess

and i would crawl back out not romeo, but a secret

blood pulsing through your veins, not dripping, and not running,

not like a sink on a leak or a dog on a leash but like a steady, small wave

never bucking over on itself, constant against an imperfect moon not-quite crescent but still good enough for you

and 'till the day it dies it shall be so

because every friendship faces a solar eclipse and i wish

ours didn't come yet

and i wish our crescent moon would let our waters bleed together

and that you'd not let the tide take you

woman with the sparrows nests in her hair

hatchlings just barely chirping

thoughts

and emotion

and i want it to be october and dying except for she, the recipent of joy

october, with the taste of cold running through the air in harmony with the scent of pumpkins

october, and another domino of days going on and on and on and on of just one walking down, walking home, except for a little while

when she will stay warm and walk in company

only to fall back, back to the days of doubt and pause

but until then, sweet october

we've yet to meet