#lee!wrex

Shepard laughed- a deep, genuine one that kept its smile long after it ended. “He could’ve hurt me if he had wanted to, but he didn’t. That’s not the point. He was tickling me. You use your fingers and it-“

“Makes a person laugh, yeah, I get it,” Wrex grunted. “If you have a shitty sense of humor.”

“Wrex!” Shepard said, still laughing. “I keep telling you, it’s not because it’s comedic or anything. It’s like an involuntary… nerve stimulation thing.”

“Like pain.”

“But it doesn’t hurt. And it’s fun.”

“Pain can be fun.”

“Mhmm, yeah, for sure. C’mon, surely you’ve got at least one ticklish spot.”

Wrex stretched his arms above his head with obvious bravado. “I’m a Krogan. We don’t have those kinds of weaknesses.”

“Has anyone ever tried it on you?”

“No, Shepard, I spent my childhood learning to fight thresher maws instead of finger painting or whatever shit the great commander was doing at four.”

Shepard grinned. “Let me try.”

“On me?”

“Yeah.”

Wrex chuckled, a deep, rumbly sound. “It’s adorable you think that’ll work.”

“I’m not hearing a no.” Shepard inched his stool just a bit closer to Wrex.

“You’re not. Knock yourself out.”

Shepard pumped his fist. “Yes! Okay.” He looked over the big krogan, looking for where to start. Conveniently, Wrex wasn’t wearing his armor, so it wouldn’t be just impossible to find a place to tickle. Finally, he decided. “Okay, hold your arms up. I’ll go for your ribs first.”

Wrex held his arms up lazily, his wide mouth shifting in a smug smile. “Sure. Go wild.”

Shepard immediately reached his hands out and started dancing his fingers around Wrex’s rib area. It was a bad spot on himself, and an especially bad spot on Thane, so surely it’d work on-

“Ha! Am I supposed to feel something?” Wrex said, chuckling- but the laughter was obviously not coming from Shepard’s ministrations. “That’s natural Krogan armor right there. Wouldn’t do much if you punched me instead.”

Shepard chided himself internally with the realization that despite being friends with Wrex for years and practically being Grunt’s parent, he knew next to nothing about Krogan anatomy. He quickly recovered his determined expression. “Well fuck you, big guy, I have all evening.”

Wrex smirked. “So do I. It’s fun watching you fail.”

Shepard’s fingers tested different parts of the krogan’s ribs for a little longer before finally giving up and moving to where the collarbone would be on a human or turian. Unfortunately, there was no shift in the texture under his fingers- just more of that external Krogan plating.

Wrex grinned even wider. “Can we at least move to the couch? I’d like to have a good view of the stars if we’re gonna be here a while.”

Shepard grunted in frustration. “Ugh! Fine. You’re gonna crack eventually.”

Wrex swaggered over to the couch on the other side of the viewing deck, flopping down with infuriating smugness. “I’m not going to, but shit, it’s funny to watch you try.”

Shepard annoyedly moved over to where Wrex was now comfortably laying against the cushions. “Whatever.” He reached up and used both hands to tickle across the folds of the Krogan’s neck, trying to find ticklish spots.

“Mmmm,” Wrex purred. “This is actually pleasant.”

“Ticklish?”

“No.”

Shepard removed his hands. “Dammit!”

“And to think I was enjoying that spot.”

Shepard was growing increasingly stubborn- a trait that was very useful in combat, but just frustrating here. “Flip over. I’m gonna try your tail.”

Wrex chuckled. “My tail?”

“Yeah. I know you have one, it’s just little. Still might be a spot.”

Wrex rolled his eyes, but he did as the commander said, rolling over onto his stomach. Shepard wasted no time in dragging his fingers up the underside of the krogan’s tail.

Wrex stiffened.

Shepard went from frustrated to excited in seconds. “Was that a spot, Wrex? Was that a spot?”

Wrex chuckled softly into the pillow- but for the first time, it seemed involuntary. “N-No.”

Shepard immediately intensified his tickling, using every technique he knew he had- spidering the tips of his fingers up and down, making gentle clawing motions, everything- but Wrex’s laughter never intensified beyond the occasional chuckle. Shepard was losing ground.

“Ha- haha, this is what tickling feels like?” Wrex taunted. “It’s perfectly manageable to me. This can’t be what had ya gettin’ all loud the other day. Unless you’re that much of a sissy.”

Shepard drew his hands back. “GodDAMMIT!” Wrex turned back over, smiling at his commander.

“You done here?”

Shepard gritted his teeth. “No. That just proves you can, in theory, be tickled. I’ll find your spot.” He thought for a second, then sat down next to Wrex on the couch, patting his lap. “Put your foot up here. There’s no armor there, so this should be easy.”

Wrex casually put both feet in Shepard’s lap, more than happy to use him as a footrest- tickling challenge aside, Wrex’s legs were a little sore from the most recent encounter. The three-toed appendages kind of reminded Shepard of a dinosaur’s, like he’d see in recreations from museums back home.

Shepard immediately spidered his fingers up Wrex’s soles, then dragged the tips of his fingers back down with just a bit of pressure. It was a move that would nearly kill Garrus during their tickle fights.

Wrex didn’t react.

Shepard made a noise of frustration. “Come on! Nothing?”

Wrex grinned. “Of course nothing, stupid. I’ve been walking on jagged Tuchankan rock my whole life. I can practically walk barefoot over fire without much reaction. You think tickling would work?”

Shepard pushed Wrex’s legs off his lap, causing the krogan to grunt in disappointment at the loss of human footrest. The commander was growing more desperate. “C’mon, there’s got to be a spot!”

Wrex relaxed back into the cushions casually. “Surely you’ve exhausted your arsenal by now.” He lowered his eyes. “Maybe if you can’t find anywhere, I should tickle you. I’ve heard you’re very weak to it.”

Shepard was flustered now. “N-No! I’m gonna find somewhere.”

“We’ve been here a while, Shepard. You gotta be running out.”

Shepard shook his head, trying to fling the blush off of his face like a wet dog. “Nope. I haven’t tried your belly.”

“Hmph. Fine.” Wrex reclined a little further, then lifted his shirt just enough to reveal his stomach. Wrex had definitely grown a little chubby over the years, which despite his grumpiness in response to Liara’s teasing, he didn’t really mind. It was proof that his agricultural initiative on Tuchanka was working- clan Urdnot was no longer fighting for food.

Shepard’s mind wasn’t on any of that. His mind was on the fact that the krogan’s underbelly was completely devoid of any external armor. And of course it was- the nearest earth-equivalent to krogan’s evolutionary ancestors was a snapping turtle. They wouldn’t have evolved with lower torso protection.

I’m beginning to sound like Mordin, Shepard thought. He needed to focus on the task at hand- he had an opportunity. He took one look at Wrex’s smug, triumphant face, then dug his fingers into the soft flesh of the krogan’s stomach.

Wrex’s eyes widened suddenly, and he yelped- deep-voiced as ever, but it was unmistakably a sound of surprised laughter. Wrex’s mouth opened and maybe almost formed words- a taunt, perhaps, or a dismissal of the noise he made- but Shepard had found a spot and he was not letting Wrex get away with anything else. His fingers darted lower, just under the curve of the krogan’s belly, and he began to firmly wiggle the tips of his fingers up into the soft flesh.

“Wh- Ah- OHOHOHAHAHAHAHA!” Wrex’s laughter was deep, booming, and so, so satisfying in Shepard’s ears. It was very clear by the tone of the krogan’s guffaws that Wrex was surprised by just how bad it was- he had never been tickled in earnest before, and he was far more sensitive than he thought.

Shepard was far from the best tickler on the ship, but he had been targeted enough times to pick up some techniques. He scribbled his fingers up and down the center of the krogan’s belly, before moving one hand to either side, about level with the navel, and wiggling his fingers in, slowly, as deep as he could.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Wrex cackled as Shepard continued to switch up his technique. The krogan was obviously trying very hard not to flail around, because he’d be able to easily hurt Shepard by accident. He didn’t want to do that, or at least, his subconscious didn’t. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have the urge to punch the commander right now.

Shepard smiled as he kneaded his fingers into the lower part of the Krogan’s belly- because his skin was tougher than a humans’, he could use tougher techniques without causing any pain. Wrex’s laugh shifted from a constant stream of cackles to the occasional loud yell of laughter.

“AHAHA- AH! GHAHAHA YOU MIS- AHAHA- YOU MISERABLE PYJAK AHAHA I’M GONNA GUT YOU I SWEAR TO-“

Another slight twist of Shepard’s fingers and Wrex lost his train of thought.

It was about ten minutes, maybe, before Shepard let up, a satisfied grin plastered on his face. Wrex heaved, still making the occasional loud guffaw. When he finally caught his breath, he glared at Shepard. “I hate you.”

Shepard chuckled. “You don’t hate me, Wrex.”

“Yes I do. I’m gonna remember this.”

“Like you remember-“

“Like I remember everything, yeah.”

“You have fun, big guy?”

Wrex forced a scowl, trying to fight off any further laughter. He wouldn’t admit shit. “I need another glass of ryncol.”

“Ooh, can I have some?”

Wrex stared at Shepard.

“That’s a joke,” Shepard said, smiling. “I’ve seen Chakwas enough this week.”

The krogan laughed despite himself. It was hard to stay angry at Shepard.

That night, Wrex returned to his quarters, lazily flicking the button to close the door behind him. He stared at his bed, spartan in design like the rest of his room, but decided he wasn’t ready to sleep yet. He needed to find a way to get back at his commander. He strolled over to his extranet terminal and pressed the button for voice input- he was never one for typing, or words in general.

“Tickling,” he said to the reciever, then added, “Human.”

He had some research to do.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I’m back on my Mass Effect nonsense again! I wanted to write a fic based on some of my headcanons for Wrex I posted a little while back. I also just love the guy and wanted to write him really bad. I’m not sure if there’s a canon design for what krogans look like under there, but I couldn’t find any, so I write with my own speculation in mind. (Turtle-like guy is gonna have a sensitive stomach.) I will write a follow-up fic for this! Shepard’s gonna get got. Destroyed even

Here’s a bonus picture for finishing my story