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Thanks again to all my Patrons! You absolutely do NOT have to be giving me money, especially with my snail's pace upload schedule, but you do and it really means a lot to me.
You can also buy all of the illustrations for $10 if you don't want to pay the monthly cost! There's 7 illustrations total, currently. One day, probably when I finish the story, I want to put them all in a little print book and sell those, but who knows when that will be.
Anyway, thanks everybody, I love you all so much <3
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There is no Dark Forest in this version of Starclan, only the Seasonal Borders. For instance both Tigerstar and Bluestar are Starclan cats, but they would be different kinds of Starclan cats.
Starclan is divided by the four seasons, and how you performed in life determines which season you are assigned too. The season is determined both your own opinions of yourself and personal reasonings for why you did things, along with the actual actions.
Each area is a perfect encapsulation of the season, Newleaf is BEAUTIFUL with flowers, Leaf-Fall has so many colorful leaves, and Leafbare is picturesque with frozen lakes and glistening snowbanks.
Greenleaf is the closest to Starclan as we know it. All year long it is warm and the prey runs very well. It's also very much the default tier, you were a background cat your whole life and did nothing but be a background cat? Congrats you're getting into Greenleaf. Kits are also automatically placed into Greenleaf.
Newleaf is a lot like Greenleaf but not as perfect, you're more likely to get rain and colder days. These are the cats that tried to do what's right, but fell short in very reasonable ways. This is for cat's like Blackstar or Mudclaw who really did good things and did try very hard and genuinely believed they were doing the right thing, but still had some black stains on them they couldn't wash away. Comfortable, but not perfect.
Leaf-fall is more on the brisk side. Lots of rain, and while prey isn't the easiest to find, there is prey, a cat can be mostly comfortable here, even if it's not the nicest life. This is for the cats that had negative intentions, but didn't do enough harm to be considered irredeemable or had reasonings that are sympathetic enough. Cat's like Ashfur or Mapleshade who did a lot bad, and maybe can't be forgiven, but weren't the worst ever and honestly didn't even do more damage then an intense battle between clans could possibly have done.
Leafbare is covered in snow, it's actually quite beautiful. Prey is very scarce but not completely missing, it's hard to keep warm but cats wont suffer from things like frostbite or anything, so they're just cold. It snows often, and many Leafbare cats will stick together if they're compatible enough to keep warm. Rarely there will be a more warm day as well, it's livable. A cat won't be the most happy here, but they have enough to be content, especially once they get more used to the cold. This is cat's like Brokenstar and Tigerstar who knew full well they were doing immense amounts of war crimes and didn't even have a good reason for them.
Depending on your season will also show how easy it is to dream walk, a Greenleaf cat can do so with ease, but a Leafbare cat will have to work hard for a long time to slip into a dream even once.
Cats can cross the borders, but only going down and up to the original season. A Newleaf cat can never enter Greenleaf but both a Newleaf and Greenleaf cat can visit Leaf-fall. To prevent trouble though, kits can only cross borders going down further then Newleaf if accompanied by a Greenleaf cat. So cat's are constantly crossing the borders, perhaps a Newleaf cat misses snow and so they spend a few hours frolicking in Leafbare. Or maybe some kits want to see their morally questionable Leaf-fall parent so a Greenleaf cat supervises the meeting. This keeps cats from being permanently separated from each other, but also keeps it so cats who may be more fond of other seasons can actually still experience those seasons.
This establishes Starclan as less like heaven and more like a genuine place where dead cats can rest and explore. Sure it's not ideal to be in Leafbare, but there's still things to do and prey to hunt. Even cats in Leafbare have a say in things if all of Starclan is pulled into a meeting, after all sometimes to best understand how to tackle a threat is the observations from a previous threat.
Along with that cats will often bring gifts as they cross borders, like yeah if you're in Leafbare most cats might not like you but sometimes someone from another season will come with a huge mouse and give it to you so you make sure no one bothers them while they roll in snow. Or your mom brings you a thrush because even though you did bad things she's still your mom and she loves you. If anything, it encourages Leafbare cats to make connections and friends after death, helping them become more well rounded and less aggressive.
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Aldertailâs legs were more raw than they had been in a long time. She knew she shouldnât lick them, she knew it wasnât right, but every time she thought about the news - that another house cat was dead - she fell into a panic and the only thing that seemed to help was going over her pelt a few more times. Now not only her front legs but her hind legs and her back had patches of missing fur that grew dry and raw in the arid air of Leafbare.Â
âOh, you poor thing,â Oddstripe fretted as he examined her new sores. âWeâll have you feeling better soon enough.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â she said, holding very still, âI just canât stop myself. I donât know whatâs wrong with me.âÂ
âYouâre sick,â grumbled Sagetooth. âItâs not a failing to cough when youâre ill. Thatâs all this is.â She snapped a root in half and began to chew it into a poultice. Aldertail recognized the smell as burdock, one of the several treatments sheâd been given for her sores before.Â
âI donât feel sick,â she said dumbly.Â
âRemember, sweetheart,â Oddstripe said gently and Aldertail blushed, â itâs not a sickness you feel, itâs a sickness in your mind.âÂ
âRightâŚâ she frowned. Maybe that was the reason sheâd been marked as Chaff. The Folk could tell that her mind was broken. What use was a cat with a broken mind? Sagetooth spat the burdock mixture out with a grimace and pushed the leaf it was on over to Oddstripe, then fixed Aldertail with a scowl that made her want to squirm.Â
âLook at me,â she said. Aldertail sat up straighter and nodded. Sagetooth continued, âIâll have no more moping about this, you understand? Itâs not your fault youâre sick. Youâre not bad for being ill. In fact, if youâre sick for the rest of your life, that would be fine. Do you understand?âÂ
Sagetooth gave a dissatisfied âHmph!â and continued to stare her down.Â
âOh, I think your tone is maybe confusing her, Sagetooth,â Oddstripe said, taking Aldertailâs leg in one paw so he could spread poultice up her leg. Once he had his bearings, he looked up to meet her gaze with a soft smile. âYouâre not in trouble. What Sagetooth is trying to say is this is normal and itâs okay if youâre sick because that doesnât change how much we care about you.â Sagetooth grumbled but didnât contradict him, instead wandering off into the back of the den. Aldertail glanced in her direction, then back to Oddstripe, then down at the ground. She didnât know why such a kindly stare made her feel so miserable.Â
Oddstripe sighed slightly but continued to apply the poultice. âHave you been extra worried lately?â he asked.
âOf course,â she said, glancing back up. âArenât you?â
Oddstripeâs lips flattened into a thin line for a moment and he glanced over his shoulder in Sagetoothâs direction. âI am worried about my boys, Iâll admit. But I have a feeling thatâs not why youâre worried.âÂ
âI justâŚâ Aldertail shifted uncomfortably, wishing she could groom her legs. âWeâre all going to die. Me especially.âÂ
âI donât know about that,â Oddstripe said.Â
âYour warriors killed one of the Exalted!â Aldertail hissed fearfully. âThey killed my brother for doing the same thing. And his mate. And my sister. And they wanted to kill me. Razor wonât stop until all of us are punished!â Oddstripe shifted uncomfortably, looking solemn.Â
He sighed, switched to her other leg, and said, âThat is a frightening thought, but I have faith in Goldenstar to keep us safe. StarClan will look out for us.âÂ
âStarClanâŚâ Aldertail repeated. âRemind me which one that is?â She tried to picture the cats who had rallied in their camp the week before.
âStarClan are the spirits of the dead,â Oddstripe smiled down at his work. âThey know things we canât and they guide us from the stars.â
âSo, magic?â asked Aldertail.Â
âYes,â Oddstripe nodded with a little laugh. âThis time it really is magic.âÂ
Aldertail considered that. As powerful as the Folk were, they didnât share their power with cats, at least not outside of social power. If the Clans had magic on their side, maybe there was a chance they could defeat Razor.
âCan they help us fight?â she asked.
âThey rarely help in such a physical way,â Sagetooth said, stomping back over to them with a bundle of thyme leaves in her jaws. âInstead, they give us guidance and help us make the choices that lead to victory. For instance, they told us to attack on the night of the snow storm and in doing so we drove the rogues out and they havenât returned since.â
âThat doesnât mean theyâre not coming back,â Aldertail whined. âHas StarClan said anything else? Have they told you what to do?â The idea felt like something sturdy to hold onto, the idea that magic ghosts could give them all of the answers. If they just did what StarClan said, maybe everything would be alright.
âNot yet,â Sagetooth said. âBut they will, in time.â She started separating the bundle of thyme into two piles.Â
âCan we ask them?â Aldertail said as Oddstripe moved on to her back. âThereâs a way to talk to them, isnât there?â
âThere is,â Sagetooth said, âbut we canât just demand they give us all the answers. Part of the test is making choices for ourselves.âÂ
âThe test?â Aldertail squeaked. She hadnât known she was being tested!
âThe test of life,â Sagetooth clarified. âWhat would be the point of living if someone just gave us all the answers?âÂ
âFinding peace wouldnât be meaningful without chaos,â Sagetooth shook her head. âJoy wouldnât exist without pain. StarClan gives us trials and misfortunes so we can learn from them and fully appreciate the blessings in our lives.âÂ
âOkay, sorry,â Aldertail mumbled, realizing she had been speaking out of turn.Â
âItâs fine,â Sagetooth sighed. âYouâre learning. Now here, chew these for as long as you can before swallowing.â She pushed a bundle of thyme towards Aldertail who took a deep breath of the aromatic scent. It seemed to grab her and pull her thoughts into focus for a moment. Obediently, she leaned down, took the leaves into her mouth, and focused on chewing them as finely as she could. As she did, she started to feel her breath coming easier and her mind clearing.Â
âThank you,â she mumbled around her mouthful.
âHappy to help, dear,â Sagetooth said, offering a rare smile. Aldertail closed her eyes and focused on the herbs, on their smell and the texture of the leaves as it changed between her teeth. By the time Oddstripe was nearly finished with her hind legs, she swallowed and took a deep breath, the smell of thyme still thick on her tongue.Â
âGood girl,â Sagetooth nodded. âNow, the burdock root should start numbing your sores soon enough. Be careful not to lick it off or your tongue might go numb too. Besides, youâll get a stomach ache if you ingest too much of it.âÂ
Aldertail paled a little. âIâll try,â she said weakly. That was going to be tricky.
âOh,â Oddstripe frowned. âWe can put cobwebs over them if necessary.âÂ
âNo,â Sagetooth said firmly. âThatâs a waste of supplies and who knows, a numb tongue might get her to finally kick the habit.â Oddstripe met Aldertailâs eyes sympathetically. Aldertail nodded, offering a smile as best she could. It was like a punishment. If she messed up and licked her legs, sheâd get a nasty surprise and, hopefully, that would teach her a lesson. That felt right.Â
âYouâre good to go,â Sagetooth said, bundling up the rest of the thyme. âKeep your tongue away from your legs, you hear?âÂ
âYes, maâam,â Aldertail nodded.Â
âYou can get someone to help you groom your pelt if that helps,â continued Sagetooth.
âOh, thatâs a good idea,â Oddstripe said. âLet me know if you ever need help with that, okay?âÂ
âAlright,â Aldertail nodded again and stood to leave. As she did, her tail brushed up against something feather light and startled her. She turned around, fur bristling, to find a dead moth.Â
âOh, sorry about that,â Oddstripe said, âBarleypaw brought me that this morning. Iâm not sure what to do with it, to be honest.âÂ
âYou canât just leave it around,â Sagetooth huffed. âJust get rid of it. Sheâll never know.âÂ
âItâs so pretty though,â Aldertail said, tilting her head to admire the little trinket.Â
âHere!â Oddstripe said, reaching towards the moth. Very carefully, he pulled the wings from the moth and then reached up to tuck them behind one of Aldertailâs ears. She blushed again, holding very still as he did, then tried to look at them without turning her head which proved impossible.Â
âI saw Blazingbrush wearing cicada wings like that,â he said. âSheâs one of the other healers.â Sagetooth huffed under her breath as she headed back to return the thyme to the stores.Â
âDo they look alright?â Aldertail asked, still unable to look at them.Â
âOh, they look beautiful on you,â he said. Aldertail bit her lip and swallowed.
âUm, thank you,â she whispered shyly.Â
âDonât mention it,â purred Oddstripe, seemingly unaware of how he was affecting her. âLet me know if you need me to help you groom your pelt okay?â She nodded mutely and he turned and went back into the den with a little smile.Â
Aldertail headed out into the snow. He had called her beautiful. No one had ever called her beautiful before, at least not genuinely like that. She decided she needed to find a reflection and see for herself. As she headed out of camp, Branchbark and Ospreymask passed with mouths full of fish and smiled in her direction.
âAldertail!â Ospreymask squealed, dropping her catch. âI love the moth wings!âÂ
âReally?â she asked, blushing again.Â
âYes! Oh my stars, you look amazing sweetie!âÂ
Branchbark chuckled and gave a nod of agreement, then pushed the fish Ospreymask had dropped in her direction. She rolled her eyes and picked them up again, the two passing to head towards the fresh-kill pile.Â
Aldertail bounded out of camp, feeling all bubbly inside. Was she pretty? She had always assumed that people were lying when theyâd complimented her. She knew how she looked, she knew she was ugly and broken and stupid. Or⌠she had known. Now she wasnât sure. She quickly made her way over to the closest stream to investigate. As she approached, she held her breath, wanting to believe what they had said was true.Â
Her face swam into view in the chilly stream. She let out her breath, disappointed. She was still herself. She still had the same dull brown fur and ugly, scabby legs, the same unflattering wrinkle permanently affixed between her eyebrows.Â
The moth wings looked nice though⌠She tilted her head back and forth, admiring them from different angles. She wasnât as thin, she realized. Her cheeks had filled out, her pelt hung more neatly on her bones. She was sleeker, even, with a shine to her fur that only Exalted cats seemed to maintain in the city. Maybe, she reasoned, she wasnât pretty yet, but she wasnât ugly anymore.Â
She smiled, touched by the thought, and decided to go looking for herbs like Oddstripe had taught her. She needed to thank him for his lovely gift.
UPDATES:
- Aldertail starts wearing moth wings behind her ear.
Time was hard to hold onto these days. Scorch blinked and suddenly spring had arrived, cautiously thawing out the gardens and poking its flowers up through the soil. If she thought back, she could remember that she had spent the time studying to become an interpreter in between visits from Razor but the actual experiences of those moments tended to feel fuzzy and loose. She was grateful that she somehow managed to hold onto the knowledge of interpreting.
The act fascinated her. Each Name Charm was marked with symbols that the Folk used to convey meaning and slowly, she was learning to interpret it. Confined in her house as she was, Portia wasnât able to do much teaching so she had put a young molly named Marmalade in charge of teaching Scorch how to understand the symbols.Â
Marmalade took Scorch through the neighborhood, usually with another cat along to âescortâ, and showed her the symbols in different places. Now that they were pointed out to her, Scorch couldnât stop seeing them. They were on the corner poles and the fronts of houses and the sides of cars and nearly every wall in the downtown area had some cluster of them somewhere. Marmalade would teach her what they said and then teach her how each symbol made up a piece of the meaning. She learned how to recognize the individual symbols wherever they appeared in the clusters and how there were two versions of each symbol for some reason.Â
It was honestly exciting. She couldnât believe that all her life there had been meaning spread across the surface of the world and she hadnât even known. When she was at home, when time was the most solid, she would wander around, discovering all of the different symbols in her home and trying to interpret them. They were everywhere, on the food boxes and her dish and flashing across the magic window that her Folk would watch and the pages in the kitsâ rooms and the warm thing the adult human pawed at on her lap and even though Scorch didnât know what some of the words meant, she knew their pieces and that felt like power.Â
It wasnât power that helped her much, though. Being an Interpreter did come with a certain amount of prestige. She and Marmalade were sometimes sent to deliver blessings from the Folk. They would go to cats who were ill in their homes or to new mothers and their kittens and bestow gifts upon them. Cats always thanked them and looked up at them with worshipful gazes. They parted to allow them through. Chaff asked them for blessings as they passed and thanked them profusely when Marmalade bid them âbe well.â Yes, there was definitely power there, but it never did anything to get rid of the babysitters that followed her everywhere she went.
And it never stopped Razor from calling on her.Â
Today, after an Interpretersâ meeting in Portiaâs garden, he had arrived to collect her, all toothy smiles and pet names and suffocating touches. She purred and fell in beside him and let go of her grasp on time. Heâd invited her to accompany him to another meeting, this one about the warfront, and she had agreed.Â
Now she found herself draped against his side as he lounged in the grass of his own backyard. Several toms sat around in a circle, discussing strategy. All of them, except for Ghost, were Exalted.Â
âHunting operations are continuing as planned,â Oreo was saying. âWeâll have to increase our presence, though, if we want to account for spring prey numbers.âÂ
âDo you think weâll still be able to starve them out?â Razor asked thoughtfully.Â
âI do,â Oreo nodded. âThe Chaff are hungry enough, the only problem is the risk of getting attacked by wild cats. We need to find a way to make it seem like the threat is minimal if we want them hunting in droves.âÂ
Ghost cleared his throat and said, âFrom what my cats have been saying, most encounters can end without bloodshed as long as we donât antagonize the Clans. If a cat apologizes and leaves theyâll get a torn ear at most. If youâd like, I can spread the word about-â
âNo,â Razor rumbled darkly and Scorch felt her throat tighten. âNo, weâre not going to teach the Chaff that they should run from these savages. We wonât show weakness like that when that territory is our right.âÂ
âBut, sir,â Ghost shifted uncomfortably, âmost of my cats arenât fighters.â
âThen pair them with fighters,â Razor said as if it were obvious. âIf they need protection, give it to them.âÂ
Ghostâs throat labored for a moment before he said, âYes, sir.âÂ
âI think it might also be a good idea to take a more proactive approach,â said Sardine, a younger tom who had only recently been allowed into these kinds of meetings. âYou know what they say: the best defense is a good offense.âÂ
Razor smiled and nodded in his direction. âIâm listening.â Scorch listened too, with bated breath.
Sardine continued. âPart of the reason the Slaughter of Sycamore was such a decisive loss was because our position wasnât easily defensible. The wild cats had the home turf advantage and, given their surprisingly large numbers, I reason they must have had somewhere to organize themselves before the attack. If we could take that location for ourselves, we would have a much stronger foothold from which to orchestrate our campaign. We could even move a number of chaff to the front full time.â
Scorch repressed a shiver as the image of Razor and his followers carving their way through RisingClanâs camp flashed through her mind. The calm, detached manner in which Sardine said it rubbed her fur the wrong way. It was almost like he didnât care that he was toying with the lives of cats on both sides.
âAnd how would you propose we do that?â frowned Tiger, his muscles rippling under his pelt as he shifted forward. âWe have no idea how far that location might be and clearly inching our way bit by bit doesnât work.â
âIt could,â Oreo countered. âAnother big reason we lost that battle was because of the snow storm and weâll have all summer to retake that ground.âÂ
âWeâll still be out in the open,â Tiger growled. âI donât like it.âÂ
âPlease,â Razor said, his chest rumbling smoothly against Scorchâs side, âIâm sure Sardine has a plan. Donât you?â He tilted his head to regard the young cat and Scorch heard the familiar undertone in his voice that said âthis is a test.âÂ
Sardine smiled and said, âI do. I propose we form strike teams of three to six cats and wait for the âborder patrolsâ to come by then kill as many cats as we can.â Scorch swallowed. âSoon enough, their numbers will weaken and falter and we will be able to find and clear out one of their bases and take it for our own, thus acquiring a proper encampment from which to stage our own assault.âÂ
âNot a bad strategy,â Razor complimented and one of Sardineâs ears twitched in satisfaction. âWhat do we think, boys?â He looked around the circle, one brow raised. Scorch did likewise, trying to keep her expression passive as she judged their reactions.Â
âIt could workâŚâ Oreo hummed skeptically.Â
Ghost shifted, a grimace on his face, and said, âThis all assumes that they have a fortified location we could use. Thereâs no way to know if that's the case. They could live in scattered nests or isolated burrows.â
âWho cares,â Tiger brushed him off. âEven if there isnât some central location we can take over, I think the effort put into the strike teams would be worth it.â He smirked and looked at Razor. âI wouldnât mind the opportunity for a bit of extermination.â Scorchâs blood ran cold. Tiger seemed to notice and his eyes twitched over to meet hers. She quickly ducked her gaze and leaned away to nestle her cheek into Razorâs fur demurely.Â
âWe would need to be careful,â Ghost said. âThe wild cats are a lot stronger than we first thought. Iâm not sure many of my cats could go blow for blow with them for long.âÂ
âThey donât need to,â Oreo said simply. âIf we get enough of them in a group theyâll be able to wear the wild cats down even if they take losses.â Scorch spared a glance at Ghost to see his jaw working. He was furious. Still, he was hiding it well, she thought. It was only her experience with him that let her recognize the subtle tensing of the muscles in his neck and the way his tail tip was poised to start twitching if he let it.Â
Razor seemed to notice too and said, âTrue, but thereâs no need to be so wasteful if we can afford not to be. Itâs our job to look out for the Chaff, is it not?âÂ
Oreoâs whiskers twitched and he looked down. Tiger huffed softly through his nose.Â
Sardine nodded and said, âIndeed. Perhaps combat training could be provided?âÂ
Razor smiled. âGood idea,â he said. âWhy donât you and Ghost organize training for the most promising candidates. Once you both feel satisfied with their progress, we can start implementing these strike teams, yeah?â
âSounds good,â Sardine said, glancing at Ghost. Ghost grunted affirmatively, his jaw still clenched.Â
âGood,â Razor said, moving to stand. Scorch stood as well, pressing close to him and keeping her head low to avoid too much attention. âIs there anything else we needed to discuss?âÂ
âNo, I donât think so,â Oreo said, standing as well. Tiger and Ghost both shook their heads.Â
Sardine took a step forward. âActually, Razor, I was wondering if I could have a private word?âÂ
âOf course,â Razor said, jerking his head towards the rose bush in the corner of the yard. Tail brushing across Scorchâs belly, he leaned into her ear and said, âWait here for me, would you, dear?âÂ
Scorch chuckled to hide the shudder of disgust that went through her. âAlways.â His smile widened and he ran his tongue over her cheek and up her brow before gesturing to Sardine and padding off to the rose bush. She was tempted to try and eavesdrop but knew that she wouldnât be able to get close enough without being seen.Â
In addition, she had a more important task to see to. She looked over at the others. Oreo and Tiger had started off across the lawn together, talking amongst themselves. Ghost sat still, his eyes closed as he breathed slowly in and out. Scorch cast one glance over her shoulder to make sure Razor was occupied then slipped over to stand next to Ghost. His whiskers twitched as she drew near and he opened his newly scarred eye to look at her.
âWhat do you want?â he grumbled. His eyes also darted over her shoulder to where Razor and Sardine were talking.Â
âI wanted to apologize,â she said softly, offering a smile. âI was under quite a lot of stress last time we talked and I did a lot of things that I am not proud of.â She held her breath, hoping he bought it. This part was integral if she was going to accomplish what she needed to.
He scowled at her. âYou nearly got me in serious trouble, you know that?âÂ
âI do,â she winced, hoping she looked sufficiently remorseful. âIâm sorry, Ghost. Really.â He stared at her for another long moment before sighing, his gaze softening a touch.Â
âI appreciate it,â he said, looking her over. She smiled and sat down. Good. He had never been able to stay mad at her for long.
âI did mean what I said about looking out for Smokyrose,â she whispered. âIf you helped me escape, I could bring them a warning.â
Ghost shook his head. âAnd then what? My cats get killed instead? No, I canât do that.â Scorch felt anger rising in her again. There was always an excuse with him, wasnât there, some reason why he couldnât do what she needed him to. She focused on keeping calm, though. Trying to threaten him hadnât worked at all. She needed to use a softer touch.Â
She shifted closer, her eyes big and sincere, and said, âThen Iâll tell the Clans not to kill the Chaff. Goldenstar would listen. She took in Scrap despite my warnings. If she can spare a life, she will, I promise.âÂ
âSo Scrap is safe then,â he said as if heâd caught her in a lie. Scorch tried not to let her irritation get the better of her. Like he cared about Scrap at all.Â
âYes,â she said, smiling. âAnd I can make sure that she stays that way. Both her and Smokyrose.â Instinctively, she brushed her tail tenderly over his, satisfied by the way he tensed and then relaxed under her touch. âPlease, Ghost. Wonât you help me?â She tried to make her eyes water as she held his gaze. Hopefully he would prove as predictable as always and be unable to resist the pleadings of a woman who needed him.Â
She watched him thinking. His eyes darted down to her paws like he wanted to place one of his own on top of them. He leaned forward almost imperceptibly, their whiskers almost close enough to touch. His mouth opened, a hesitant word on his tongue, and she felt her spirits soar. Yes! She had won! She had-
His eyes flickered over her shoulder and a scowl returned. âRazor is watching,â he said. Bile swelled to overtake her lifted spirits and drag them back down to the pit of her stomach. She knew better than to look over her shoulder or quickly fix her posture. She licked her lips and very carefully sat back.Â
âThink about it,â she said. âYou know where to find me.â At this point, she could hear Razor coming her way. She let one ear twitch back, then stood and turned to face him, hiding all evidence that she had been touching Ghost. She smiled fondly at Razor and moved to meet him, butting her head against his chest.Â
âGhost,â Sardine said, a dubious tilt to his voice, âShall we talk logistics?âÂ
Ghost cleared his throat and nodded, standing. âYes. Letâs.â Stiffly, he turned and followed the younger tom and Scorch cursed him in her head. He was being too obvious!Â
Razor curled around her, his brows furrowed, and asked, âWhat was that all about?â As he did, he nosed the fur on the back of her neck and she went rigid at the touch, heart suddenly hammering.Â
âI was urging Ghost to have faith in your leadership,â she lied, trying to turn her head to look at him, but he opened his mouth and gently placed his teeth against her scruff and she immediately froze again. A purr rumbled through him and he removed his teeth. This time, she stayed exactly where she was.
âIs that all?â he murmured warmly against her skin. âIt seemed like there was more to it than that.â He padded slowly around her, always keeping some part of him in contact with her.Â
Scorch fixed her eyes on the rose bush as she spoke. âMaybe for him,â she said. âYou know he never really got over me.âÂ
âMm,â Razor hummed, unsatisfied.Â
Scorch swallowed. âBut I promise, things were strictly professional. I have no interest in any other kind of relationship with someone like him.â Â
Razor came back around to look at her face again and she dared to turn her head to meet his gaze. âNot even a little?â he asked, âfor old timesâ sake?âÂ
âNo, of course not!â She promised with a worried expression. âRazor, Iâm yours now. Thatâs all I could ever want.âÂ
Razor looked her over and then sighed with a dejected glance downward. âI know. I just⌠after you went missing and everythingâŚâ He shifted his weight and sat down. âIt feels like you sometimes donât think about how your actions affect me. I do so much to make sure youâre taken care of and itâs like you donât even care.âÂ
âNo, Razor,â she swallowed and stepped in to wrap herself around him instead, âof course I care! Iâm so sorry Iâve made you feel that way.â She knew his game. This trick was the oldest in the book. But she had no choice but to play along. âHow can I prove how much I love you, honey?âÂ
Razor leaned into her touch with another sigh. âJust⌠promise you wonât talk to Ghost anymore?â he asked tiredly. âIt would make me feel so much better if I didnât have to worry about him and you.âÂ
âOf course,â Scorch promised, pressing her forehead against his. âIf thatâs what you want, Iâll try and avoid him.âÂ
âIt is,â he purred. âThank you, Gingersnap.âÂ
âAnything for you,â she swallowed.Â
âWhy donât I walk you home,â he offered, pulling back to meet her gaze again.Â
âOh, thatâs alright,â she shook her head. âI can get back just fine on my own.âÂ
âNo, no, I insist,â he said, standing up. âIâll feel a lot better if I know you got home safe.âÂ
Scorch sighed. It had been worth a try. Smiling, she tried to play her reaction off as fondness and said, âAlright then. Whatever you want, dear.â