#lavellan!reader

“I can’t be your friend, Blackwall.”, Y/N said, walking into the barn. “I just can’t. I thought that I could, but after I told you how I felt-”, they started, only for Blackwall to cut them off.

“I can’t be your lover, Inquisitor. So if that’s what you came here for, if that’s what you were hoping to accomplish from this…I’m sorry to say it can’t happen.”, Blackwall said, knowing the words hurt him more than they would hurt Y/N.

“Why not?”, they asked angrily. “What could possibly be stopping you, Blackwall?”

“You don’t get it!”, Blackwalls voice rised higher before he took a deep breath. “Get over me, Lavellan, I can’t hold you back anymore.”, he sighed. 

“Hold me back from what?”, Y/N questioned.

“Falling in love with somebody else.”, Blackwall said blankly. He turned his head, seeing where Cullen sat waiting for Y/N.

“Blackwall….”, they started.

“No. I get it. Go to him, okay? I can’t be with you so I might as well stop holding you back.”, he said, his heart breaking with each word. 

It was then he knew. What he felt for the Inquisitor. It was love. Plain and simple like what’s told in fairytales. He could write a thousand poems, sonnets, songs, just about them. Just for them. But he couldn’t hold the Inquisitor back. He knew that he could never give them the life they deserved. He knew that his dark past would catch up to him someday, and when it did, he did not want Y/N stuck in the crossfire.

Y/N didn’t say anything as they walked out of the barn to where Cullen was sitting. They knew nothing they said or did would change Blackwalls mind. 

Cullens face lit up when he saw Y/N, “Inquisitor, I’m so glad you’re here.”, he said with a lovesick smile on his face.

Y/N would always feel guilty for being the cause of that smile. Because they knew their heart was not completely Cullens. It was shared with Blackwall, as it will always be.