Jan 16
This reminded me of them so
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This reminded me of them so
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or something
so your telling me Larry can get Theo expensive dinners but not get him therapy.
rip larry decker you would've loved online gambling
Tiny Goldfinch details that make me feel insane:
-Theo getting a glass of water when coming up with a lie to tell Hobie and remarking it’s what his father always did
-Theo telling his mother off for talking to someone and her saying he’s like his father and Theo’s immediate guilt
-Theo obsessively studying as if he could scrub away the guilt and shame and disgust he felt towards himself for no reason he could identify
-Mrs Barbour saying goodbye to Theo and looking like she was forgetting to say smth
-Boris taking his fathers gold lighter and putting it into Theo’s bag after he remarked on it once
-Theo and Tom cutting their palms, shaking hands and promising to be brothers 2 weeks before Tom betrayed him, leading to his mother’s death vs Theo beating Boris bloody until his knuckles were split and Boris kissing them to let him know all was forgiven, weeks before Boris stole the goldfinch. Theo remembering this all right before Boris came back and he found out abt Kitsey and Tom
-The clock being one minute to midnight in the photo of Andy and Mr Barbour.
-Andy’s innate almost prophetic fear of water. Being born with the knowledge of how he was going to die.
-Mrs Barbour inadvertently being the one to introduce Theo to drugs
-Theo’s mother saying the moon is home and Boris telling Theo his name means moon along with the quote “home is wherever I am. The center of my earth is you”
-Theo’s mother calling him puppy and the story in Theo’s suicide note of the injured puppy they couldn’t save
-Pippa being the “morphine lollipop”
-Theo’s terrifying dreams of his mother, trying to get home to her, only to realise he never could or it wasn’t actually her. Stuck haunting subway stations in his dreams never to return home again.
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for @sneakydraws who wanted to see some dad decker!
I think I gotta re-read tgf, or at least the parts involving Larry Decker.
I keep thinking about him lately & how well-written Theo's dynamic with him is.
just...dang, Donna-- you really captured what it's like to live with someone like that-- charismatic but abusive.
& maybe there's some genuine love there? buut you know they can lash out at any moment. & they can get stuck in these moods where they hate everyone for days.
you feel bad for them & love them, but you build yourself this armor of hate against them too. you can't risk letting them in too much-- even if sometimes they make you feel like a million bucks. because the sword could fall at any time, for the smallest of reasons.
Theo feels like he needs to be sneaky to survive.
he's constantly on high alert.
it's exhausting.
Theo is repeating the cycle. He is repeating the cycle of being a shitty partner and a cheating drunkard with a drug addiction. He is so much like his father.
Sorry, Become the Lastnames by Will Wood is hitting hard whilst reading