#lareiel

"Sugar, doll, sweetcheeks, what're ya doin'?"

Fake dating: lol Heather wrote something for this actually.

Bodyswap: Larei would have so much fun with Eiel’s power and body in general—whilst Eiel toddles frantically after her to make sure someone doesn’t screw up and try to kill her. And then be amazed when Larei handles him/herself flawlesslyyyy. 

Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it Aphrodisiacs: I foresee a lot of broken and burnt funiture tbh.

Dark!fic: Larei was an assassin sent to kill Eiel all along.

Secret kinks: ….Larei likes tying men up and having her way with them, youdothemath.

Their first kiss: wasreallycuteokayIlovethembye.

Meeting the parents: ….”HI MOM-DAD, THIS IS MY VAMPIRE GIRLFRIEND” “do I curtsy” “…no?” “Well shoot, honey, I don’t know how to talk to a god.”

Moving in together: Larei would be busy singing and dancing and exasperating Eiel who just wants to get it done so he can relax, gosh. 

A crossover of my choice: …I dunno. Spider-Eiel.

An au of my choice: sPIDER-EI’m calm. Suburbia is cute ok bye.

Eiel got to the top of the stairs, looking around the boxes in his arms to see Larei taking stock of the flat they were now renting. It was evening, the sun set and the moon hanging lazily in the sky; the owner of the apartment had stared at the two of them as if they were nutjobs, probably wondering why two young people were moving into their new apartment in the middle of the night.

The fact that Larei sometimes slipped in old '20s slang and that Eiel swore in Norwegian when he hit something or dropped something probably helped their assumptions on their sanity.

"It's not as grand as your place, I'll admit," Eiel said, setting down the boxes and stretching his back. He walked over to Larei, then, pressing a hand on the small of her back and pressing a kiss to her cool cheek. The redhead smiled and tipped her head to rest against his. "But I'unno - I think it's nice."

"Well, so long as Diamond has room to stretch her legs, I'll be happy with it." She pulled away from the demigod, then, turning to look at the boxes. "Should we get unpacking?"

"The curtains are in the top box. I made sure to grad 'em first."

"There's a good boy," Larei patted his cheek, moving over to the boxes. Eiel followed after her with a grin, and together the two of them began the moving-in process.

By the time the sun rose, they were both sound asleep.

~+~

"So what're you going to do, seeing as you can't go out in the day?"

"I was thinking of doing some work from home - and besides, I could go out. I would just need to... cover up." Larei made a face when Eiel grinned, sipping from her glass as she watched him eat Chinese take-out. "What? I would just need a hat, and probably a jacket and some gloves..."

"You'd look like a movie star. '40s and fabulous."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm already fabulous." She grinned, biting her lip before waving to him. "And what are you going to do, oh 'husband' of mine?"

Eiel blinked, looking momentarily lost before returning to the current when Larei jostled his foot with her own. "...gonna have to get used to you dropping that word around."

"Don't forget we're supposed to be married, Eiel, or I'm going to have to fake divorce you."

"Please don't, I want to keep the farm."

Larei laughed, grinning and scrunching her nose at his silliness. She took another swallow of A+, watching him expectantly. "So?"

"So...?"

"What are you going to do for work!"

"Oh, right - I've got a job. Construction. It's something I know I can do."

 "...not a bartender?"

Eiel winced, rubbing his healed wrist; scars faint in the middle of his hands shining in the little light from the kitchen. He only stopped fidgeting when Larei reached out and took both his hands in hers, giving them a squeeze. The demigod smiled weakly at the vampiress, before shaking his head.

"Wanted to try something where I'd be home earlier."

"No more late-night walks for Bambi," Larei sing-songed, kissing his hands and letting go. "Just as well, now I have an excuse to come out and watch you build things without a shirt on."

"Do you want me to buy you a parasol?"

"Oh, that'll work," Larei grinned, finishing her drink and getting up to put that and Eiel's glass into the dishwasher. "However, I decree that we are in the honeymoon phase."

"The honeymoon phase?"

"Where everything is blissful and full of love and happiness and you can find out whether I'm wearing silk or lace."

She was already out of the room and halfway to the bedroom when she heard the clatter of Eiel attempting to follow her gracefully. Grinning, she pulled out her hair clip and left the door open behind her.

~+~

Eiel came home to the annoying beeping of the fire alarm and the sinking feeling that Larei had tried to make dinner.

Slipping out of his shoes, hanging his jacket in the closet and pressing an icepack against a growing black eye (he could explain), the demigod walked in to see Larei waving smoke out of her face and cursing in whatever was she knew, including the couple of Norwegian curse words she'd picked up from Eiel.

"I think I smell burnt apples."

"I tried to make an apple pie."

Eiel winced, walking over to the oven, slipping on gloves, and pulling out the charred thing they were calling a pie. It was a very sad-looking pie.

"Idunn is crying right about now."

"Well if she comes down to complain, you can talk to her - you're probably cousins or whatever." Larei set her hands on her hips, glaring at the pie as if it had personally affronted her. "Damn it."

"Hey, it isn't a complete disaster," Eiel assured, grinning and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Nothing's on fire."

"Oh, I hate you," Larei muttered, fighting a smile and hitting his shoulder. Eiel grinned, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Are we past the honeymoon phase?"

"So past it."

"Damn."

~+~

"Larei, why is there a cop car out front - well, okay."

Eiel stood awkwardly in the front door, staring at the police officer sitting on the couch with Larei. The vampiress was wrapped up as always, and the officer was looking at her long sleeves and the scarf around her hair with a frown.

"...Larei?"

"Uh," Larei stood up, looking a little panicked as she walked over to Eiel and kissed his cheek. While leaning to him to do that, she hissed, "apparently the neighbours think you beat me and that's why I wear sleeves in the summer."

"Oh, lovely," Eiel muttered back, before smiling politely to the officer. "Can I help you, officer?"

"I was just asking your wife a few questions," the officer stated, standing up and turning to face Eiel. He was a little shorter than him, and a bit pudgy as well, but Eiel really didn't like authority figures. They tended to try to kill and/or arrest him. "If you would care to leave us for a few minutes, I'll get to you soon."

"...Right," Eiel nodded, turning to Larei. She shrugged, giving him a tight smile, before kissing her forehead. "I'll be in the kitchen."

"Okay, sweetheart." She patted his chest, stepping away from him. "We'll just be a moment."

Eiel nodded, moved to the kitchen, and had just finished up putting together an impromptu dinner when Larei appeared in the kitchen with a tight smile.

"Would you help the poor, confused officer back to his car?"

"...you did not."

"What did I not do?" Larei's expression was wide and much too innocent. Eiel groaned. She smiled prettily.

"You used that... vampire hypnotism or whatever, didn't you?"

"No," Larei shook her head, giving him an expression that said, 'would I ever do that?'. Eiel continued to stare at her until she rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Just get him out, okay?"

"Are you going to go around the neighbourhood now and leave them all generally confused?"

"If you drive the nice police officer home you don't even have to know."

"You're ridiculous."

"You love it."

Eiel paused, looking at Larei (who was inspecting his sandwich as if it had personally offended her - she liked to try to make him dinner; she was 'the wife' as she so often said) before smiling a little. Walking over to her, he pressed a kiss to her temple, feeling the coldness of her skin and not even shuddering once from bad memories.

"...I'll be back."

"See ya, Bambi."

Eiel was on the road by the time Larei was walking out of the house in her sunhat, going up to the first neighbour.

~+~

"We should go out."

"Oh?"

Eiel looked up from his place laying down on the couch, head resting on Larei's lap. The redheaded vampiress was looking out the window, watching the sunset; dressed in brown trousers and a short-sleeved blouse with a high neck, hair tied and pinned back in a fancy French braid. She then looked down at him, pale eyes piercing him.

"...what do you want to do?"

"...let's go see a film," she said after a moment, grinning. "The Great Gatsby is out."

"I read that once," Eiel stated, closing his eyes when Larei started to rake her fingers through his hair, "terrible love story."

"Wanna go see it?"

Eiel looked back up at Larei, before smiling and nodding. "Alright."

They didn't leave until Larei got Eiel to change out of his raggedy T-shirt he wore to work and his dirty jeans, the two of them patting Diamond's head as they left before walking to the theatre not too far from there.

Larei was focused mostly on the film, Eiel focused mostly on Larei, and when the film finally ended the two stepped out of the theatre with the rest of the crowd. 

Larei pulled them to a stop, then, looking up at the starry sky; fingers linked with Eiel's to make sure he didn't walk off without her.

"I like it here," she said after a while. 

Eiel looked at her curiously, looking around the theatre (and wondering what was so fancy about a parking lot). "It's a nice place."

"I'm not talking about the place." Larei looked to Eiel then, smiling widely. "I like it here. With you. I like knowing where you are and knowing you'll be back every day. I even like it when you tease me about my failed cooking attempts."

Eiel stepped closer to her, smiling vaguely.

"...I like it here, too. Despite the death threats to my teasing."

"Me? Death threats? I'd never."

"Oh, of course you wouldn't."

Larei grinned, leaning up and pressing a kiss to the demigod's lips. Cupping her jaw carefully, Eiel pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers.

"...what?" Larei asked after a while. Eiel smiled, shaking his head.

The vampiress was as neat and tidy in appearance as ever, if not less glamourous than usual. Hair braided out of the way, clothes simple and practical so that if she got a mess on them she wouldn't have to take them to the cleaners - in ways she was 'a mess', but not noticeably so. Never noticeably so, as Larei knew better than to reveal weakness in anything - and right not she could not afford to be weak.

She dropped the gauze onto the floor, looking over the aggravated stab wound with a purse of lips and a narrowing of pale eyes. It looked less red, at least; less infected, too. Not perfect, but... getting there.

"If you're a god's kid, why aren't you healin' faster, Bambi?" she mumbled, picking up a swab and antibiotic (that she'd purposefully bought a day after letting Eiel settle, buying out pretty much the whole of the drug store to make sure Eiel would both be fine and safe while healing. She wasn't going to trust hospital security as far as she could spit, alright?). She began to re-clean the stabbing wound, twitching when the demigod on her bed hissed out in pain. "Eiel?"

"...human genes... makes healing s-slower."

"Would you look at that, my Bambi talks," Larei said with a relieved smile, lifting a hand to brush back dark hair, avoiding healing skin at his temples. Brown eyes flickered open, foggy for a moment before concentrating on her. "Evenin', stranger."

Eiel smiled back, but the expression fell quickly. "...I have some explaining to do, huh...?"

"Yes," Larei murmured, picking up swab and antibiotic again, going back to what she had been doing. Eiel flinched and instantly regretted it; bruised ribs making sudden movement a terrible decision overall. "You can explain once you can breathe without flinching, however."

Eiel gave a weak grin at that. "...so, never?"

"Flinching from pain, my jumpy boy," Larei amended, shaking her head. She put down the swab and antibiotics, picking up gauze and carefully wrapping it around his hand again, cutting the gauze when she had enough and pinning it together. "Don't move much - I'm going to change your other hand's bandages and that wrist is broken."

"...y-yeah," Eiel mumbled, closing his eyes and letting the vampiress do as she would, shivering and ignoring the need to pull away from the cold touch. It wasn't ice, he had to remind himself. It was Larei Lamont - not ice. "I... remember that."

"...How much do you remember?"

"Everything," Eiel mumbled, before shaking his head a little and swallowing, wincing when his bruised throat disagreed. "...everything up to whenever you got me. ...how long was I g-gone?"

"...A week," Larei mumbled, unwinding the gauze and making sure not to jostle the break, "you were gone a week."

Eiel didn't say anything, and for a moment Larei wondered if he would be mad at her for not trying to find him sooner. She wondered if once he was well if he would leave; if he would disappear without explaining anything. She wondered if he was going to cut off all ties because he didn't want to have the connection with someone like her.

She wondered, just for a moment, if Eiel was really his name or if he was someone else entirely. And she wondered why she would care so much about what he did anyway.

But her musings were cut short when Eiel spoke up again, brown eyes watching her and expression the most honest and open she had ever seen it. 

"Thank you," was all he said, before he finally drifted off to sleep again. And even though it meant he wouldn't be able to talk until the next time he woke up, the words left behind warmth.

"I'm thinking about it, and so far the verdict is no."

Larei rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door and watching it with all the patience of her less-than-one-hundred years. After about three minutes (give or take, really - Larei never did like the number 'three', it was too symbolic), the door cracked open and the vampiress grinned, sliding inside without any trouble.

She looked around her spacious bathroom for her demigod, finally spotting him in the bathroom, huddled and watching her with his wide, Bambi eyes.

...Well maybe she should start referring to Eiel as 'her', given the current situation.

Eiel Lokison (a newly appointed last name as of recent events, but neither Larei nor Eiel thought of said recent events without one turning homicidal and the other turning catatonic) sat curled up in the shower, long brown hair falling into her face and expression that of confused terror. Larei cooed, walking over to her Bambi and kneeling on the floor in front of the shower, reaching out and wrapping cool fingers around burning-hot forearms.

"You still ready to set the world on fire, Bambi?"

"I don't mean to be," Eiel muttered, voice still low for a woman's but higher-pitched than usual. Larei tugged her out of her shelter carefully, wrapping her arms around the now-demigoddess with a hum. The T-shirt and boxers Eiel usually wore to bed looked huge on her female frame, and she looked more rumpled and adorable than she probably wanted.

Larei would keep her comments to herself.

(For now.)

"What's the fuss, hmm? Couldn't your momma do the same thing? I sure hope so - else that is some strange biology, and I don't care if Loki's a Norse God - he shouldn't be able to break the laws of biology."

"She - He - Loki could - change gender, I mean, yeah, but I'm not Loki."

"I'm gettin' that, yeah."

"No, I'm not Loki - so why can I?" Eiel pulled back, pushing back hair and spitting out strands with a frown. "How do you not get hair in your mouth all the time?"

"It's a skill set."

"Right - anyway, I'm not my mother. I shouldn't be able to do the same things."

"But maybe," Larei interrupted before Eiel could really getting into a tirade (which was, in fact, his speciality), reaching out and running her fingers through long, dark hair with a contemplative expression, "just maybe, Bambi - you should. You're only half human. Maybe you grabbed some fancy trickster powers on your way out screaming."

Eiel shook her head, but she didn't argue against Larei's logic, so the vampiress took that for a win. She smiled then, cupping her demigoddess's face between her hands and lifting her face up.

"Besides, this could be fun!"

"Fun?"

"Mmmhm," Larei grinned, the expression sharp and predatory. Eiel's brows raised, and she wondered for a moment if Larei was going to eat her alive. Which was silly, really. Right?

...Right?

~+~

Three hours later (give or take, really), Larei stretched out and tucked herself against Eiel's side; cool skin pressing against warm and slowly bringing down the demigoddess's temperature.

(She remembered the first time she'd grabbed Eiel's bare hand after the incident, and he'd freaked out and tucked himself into a nook of her house where even she couldn't find him; it'd hurt, but she got the feeling it reminded him of something else. He was better now. Well. Getting better.)

After a moment of silence where she counted Eiel's heartbeat, hand pressed atop her chest, she grinned and looked up at the man-now-woman and waggled her brows.

"Told you it could be fun."

Eiel blinked, looking down at Larei as if seeing her for the first time.

"...uh-huh."

{x}

"What are we doin' here, Bambi?"

"Aaab-so-lutely," Eiel muttered with a tired smile, saluting the bartender with his glass before finishing off the rest of his whiskey. The panther sweat made his tongue feel dry, but that was something he was all-too-used to by this point. "You know your day would be lost without my charming company."

"Oh honey, it ain't your company that's charming." The bartender grinned, patting the man's cheek before moving on to a different customer. Eiel rolled his eyes, moved to grab his second drink, and found that it wasn't there.

"Oh - was that yours? I thought since you just finished your whiskey that you'd be taking a short break before going back for more."

Eiel turned to see who was talking, brown eyes widening when he took in what he legitimately thought for a moment was a ginger goddess.

However, once he let his eyes adjust to the lights glowing just behind her head, he realized it was no goddess; just a woman who could pass as one. Lips stained red, hair curled and styled fashionably against the back of her head with loose curls resting against her cheeks, and wearing some greenish-blue dress that looked silky in the light, she was a sight for sore eyes.

And boy, were Eiel's eyes sore from lack of sleep.

"How ya doin', handsome," she greeted, pinching his cheek and drinking the rest of her stolen whiskey. She passed the glass off to the bartender without a word, shaking her head at a question. Eiel briefly wondered at the question. "I've seen your mug around here before, you some kind of regular?"

"Every joint's got their resident blotto," Eiel said with a shrug, smiling a little shyly. "...I don't believe I've seen you before."

"You're too busy looking at the bottom of your glass to see me." She grinned, sitting next to him and smoothing out her skirt to give her hands something to do. She then turned to him properly, offering her hand. "The name's Larei, handsome."

"...I'm Eiel," Eiel said, taking her hand and shaking it, feeling a little bit strange for doing so. But women were doing things less and less expected of them by the day, so he wasn't all that surprised by her behaviour. He watched as she took out a cigarette, messing with her lighter. She glanced up, then, raising her brows curiously.

"...You want one?"

Eiel shook his head, smiling weakly. "Smoking's never agreed with me."

"Really? That's a shame. I find it relaxing - and you can remember what you do after it, unlike the relaxing properties of the fine refreshments of this respectable establishment."

"...You're a different kind of a gal, ain't ya?"

"'Fraid so - does that intimidate you?"

He shook his head, rubbing his nose awkwardly. "Nah - s'just a change. A nice change. Meeting the same dame over and over again gets tiring."

"You're breaking a bunch of girls' hearts, you know," Larei shook her head, blowing smoke out to the ceiling. "For shame, Eiel - those girls work hard trying to be interesting for fellas. Or dames - I won't judge."

Eiel shook his head, turning to find the bartender - and finding him preoccupied with a customer. He frowned, waving to get his attention; Larei laughed. "...What's so funny?"

"I'm imagining the look on your face when I tell you I've cut ya off for the night."

"...What?"

"Well, sweetheart, you get ossified every evening for one reason or another. Like you want to forget something and pretend nothing's wrong. Tonight I'm not letting you take the easy way out; you're gonna kill yourself, and that'd be a cryin' shame, wouldn't it?"

"You sound like you have a plan."

"That I do. You're gonna dance with me. And then you're gonna dance some more. Maybe you'll even sing with me - I hear you've got a set of pipes on ya. And then, in the morning, when you're not crying about your headache and not turning to the cure of the dog that bit'cha, you're gonna come with me to Goodfellow's Lounge, and you're gonna get some employment. What's to be sad about then?"

"...You make it sound so easy."

Larei smiled, crushing her cigarette in an ashtray and standing up. She grabbed Eiel's wrist, tugging him onto his feet before taking him to the dance floor.

"Well," she said after a moment, turning back to him and looking directly in his eyes, her heels adding height, "that's because it is that easy. Now dance with me, we've got a long night of enjoyment ahead of us."

Staring at the woman as if he couldn't figure her out, Eiel grinned and shook his head.

"Lead the way."