I looked out my window, one row ahead of the emergency exit, and I thought I was hallucinating. There was a tall masted ship with the jolly roger flying outside the window and getting closer. I could make out one guy with a microphone and there appeared to be a rather large speaker system. As the ship got even closer I finally heard what they were saying.

"I bet you thought your jet was safe, but we can fucking fly! Now, we be boarding through your emergency exit! Do not resist us, or we will fire our broadside and ground your plane!"

My seatmate turned to me, and his expression was basically the same thing I was thinking. "What the fuck?"

And then the emergency door opened, no rushing air like the showed in the movies, instead, a plank lay on the floor, a clear plastic tunnel over it, and several men right out of an Errol Flynn movie waltzed into the plane.

One of them, the same one that had had the microphone, fired a flintlock without ball into the roof.

"Now that I have the attention of all of ye, we be the first airborn pirates, all under the great Captain Gregar, that being me, we are here for your valuables, Jewelry, bank notes, coins, deeds, rum and other hard spirits, spices, all those sugar packets and coffee ye carry. Load em into the sack as my men pass ye by if'n ye don't want any violence. Ye savvy?"

LAGERSTEIN Announce Supports For June Australian ‘Yeast Coast’ Tour

Photo Credit: Alexander Nisiriou

Brisbane’s premier pirate party machine LAGERSTEIN have announced a killer set of supports across their extensive Australian tour in June.

Along for the ride across multiple shows are Melbourne’s 80’s-influenced heavy metal maniacs SUDDEN STATE, who will be brandishing their retro-meets-modern take on heavy metal at it’s most fun across Australia.

Tickets are…