submit to the shadows (ryan sitkowski x f!reader)
In collaboration with @sitkowski my beloved Sara💙 we hope you enjoy!
pairing: Ryan Sitkowski x female reader
cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ pre negotiated CNC scene, primal scene; chased in the woods, knife play, rough sex, blood play, improper use of blades, squirting, vaginal fingering, anal, oral sex, mild hypnosis. Impact play with belt, sadism, masochism, gun play, grip (where you hold the gun) inserted into vagina, unprotected vaginal sex, multiple orgasms
names: Bambi, painslut, kinky girl, Good girl
header made by Sara ; dividers by saradika-graphics
word count: 4966
AN: shout out to Ryan showing off his guns on stream a few months again - and bam the fic was born!
Dark themes ahead please read with caution
sara's miw fics || my ryan fics || sara's taglist signups || my Taglist Sign Up
As far as ideas go, it’s not the worst one you’ve heard. And after careful planning, it’s finally put into motion. You’ve driven separately so that the scene can be more authentic, and when you stare up at the trees before you, you feel an anticipatory knot of fear in your stomach. As you step on the pre-marked path, you remember what he told you: keep on the trail, use your flair if you want to stop or if you get lost. And you better run fast.
You know he’s out here somewhere; his car was parked off to the side when you pulled in. It should feel like an unfair advantage that he’s already made his way into the woods, but you push that thought aside and focus on your real problem. What is he going to do to you when he catches you? The two of you walked this trail before today, you know where you should be going, and how to get to the clearing that’s marked as safe. All you have to do is get there before him.
Running at a steady pace, you try to listen for obvious signs that he might be nearby, but it’s hard to hear anything over the sound of your pulse thudding in your ears and your shoes pounding the ground. Eventually, you have to stop to take a breath, and somewhere in the distance, a lot closer than you’d like, you hear a branch snap. It could be anything, a squirrel or just the forest making noise. It could also be the man that’s stalking you like prey. You straighten up and look around, knowing that he should be obvious to see. But there’s nothing but trees and foliage surrounding you. The sky is overcast and gloomy.
Despite not seeing a thing, you know you’re not alone out here.
Instead of running again, you move a little slower so that you can hear better. There are more sounds, you just can’t decipher what’s making them, and it makes you both scared and excited. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a quick blur of something—or someone—moving but when you turn around, it’s gone. If you didn’t know any better, you could hear him laughing at you, the sound echoing off the trees surrounding you. When you look at the trail markers, you see that the clearing is still further away. You think about deviating from the plan and darting through the woods, but you can’t trust that you won’t get lost. All you know is that he’s somehow gotten closer to you without you being able to hear him. And if he catches you, he wins.
You’d hoped that you’d have some sort of head start or advantage out here, but it seems like you’re exactly where he wants you to be. You turn and run, bolting down the path faster than before. Little did you know, the fact that you’re panicking now is exactly what he was looking for. At this point, you’ve decided your fate is worth it, but you’re still determined to at least make him work for it. You know that he’s not that far behind you, the sounds of his own running catching up to you as you go. And then, as easily as you hear him, you don’t. Either he stopped, or you’ve managed to outrun him.
It’s a mistake, thinking that you can look back over your shoulder to see if he’s still behind you. Because the next thing you know, an arm is practically clotheslining you, and you’re being hauled off of the trail. Your legs pinwheel in the air as you’re lifted off of your feet, and you feel the rumble of his laughter against your back. He drags you deeper into the underbrush, and you find yourself pinned to a tree, staring up at the man who had been chasing you through the woods for what feels like an eternity now.
“Gotcha.” A devilish grin spreads across his face. Something mischievous shimmers in his dark eyes. He shoves you harder against the tree trunk; the bark digging painfully into your back. You try unsuccessfully to shove him off of you, but he simply laughs in your face.
He thrusts his hips against you, caging you in. He slides off the backpack as you assault his chest with your fists. His eyes narrow when you curse his name. Without warning, he shoves two fingers into your mouth to silence you. The urge to bite down is strong, but his fingers are so thick your lips ache to stretch around them.
“You done?” he huffs, sliding his fingers deeper until he hits the back of your throat. Hip to hip, you feel his erection press against you, and you can’t help but start to salivate. Both at the reality of his tattooed fingers down your throat and his hard cock just waiting to be slammed into you.
“Mhm!” you cough, nodding profusely.
“Good.” He slides his fingers from your mouth and presses his chest against yours. “Or I can shove something else in there instead,” He growls.
You clamp your mouth shut before daring him to. Because if you’re being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t mind if he did, but at the same time, you don’t want to jinx whatever he has planned for you.
You straighten up to stand tall and show Ryan that you’re ready for whatever he has planned next. Your heartbeat quickens at the sight of the bundle of rope in his hand. His backpack was haphazardly thrown to the ground. He eyes you intently as he rocks his hips back and forth. Your cheeks blaze red as your pussy flutters around absolutely nothing. You are fully clothed and about to be tied to a goddamn tree and all you can think about is him.
“My God, just look at you,” he smirks, brushing the rope along your cheek. To your astonishment, the cord is soft without a single fray. You bite down on your lip hard to keep yourself from moaning. Anticipation and excitement set your veins alight.
“Ready for more, Bambi?”
You suck in a breath at the pet name and you can feel your blush deepen. Ryan brushes his thumb over your bottom lip to turn your gaze to him.
“My little Bambi running fast in the woods,” he whispers, his breath ghosting over your lips. “But not fast enough,” he says, his voice barely audible. His proximity makes the edges of your vision blur. His musk is overwhelming as his breath tickles the shell of your ear. Suddenly, he steps back, and you follow his gaze to your wrist, now bound in rope. A thrilling shiver crawls up your spine as you track the rope being thrown over a nearby branch. Without warning your body is lifted from the ground leaving you to balance on your tiptoes as you let out a surprised yelp.
“I got you, Bambi,” Ryan muses as he binds the other wrist. Your hands are now extended long above your head. Your core and thighs tremble at the awkward position as you strain for stability.
“Look at me,” he says calmly, just on the edge of soothing. “You are strong, stronger than you know. You got this.” He tilts your head up to meet his gaze. “Please use your safeword if it becomes too much. I have my safety shears and first aid kit in the bag. You are safe.” You can’t help but mirror back the smile he gives you despite the aching between your thighs screaming for your attention.
“I am safe and my color is green,” you say confidently flashing him a grin.
“Good girl,” he says, fingers still slick with your saliva dragging over your cheek.
You let the praise seep into you. And you remind yourself about the amount of planning that went into this. Ryan crouches down in front of his bag, rifling through it. When he stands back up, you literally feel your stomach drop at the sight of what he’s holding. The buck knife isn’t new to you, but out here in this scenario, it makes your blood run cold. It also makes you wetter, and you try to squeeze your legs together for some relief, but the action only makes you stagger and sway. Somehow, you’ve lost your shoes, and your toes scrabble in the dirt and leaves.
“Don’t move,” he warns you in that same soothing voice. “Be good for me.”
You clench your jaw at the sight of him stepping closer to you with the knife in his hand. He grabs a hold of your shirt, and you see that edge creep into his eyes. You fight to stay still as he uses the knife to cut your shirt, the fabric parting easily against the blade. When you jerk back only out of instinct, he grabs onto the remnants of your shirt and yanks you upright again.
“Aw, c’mon, Bambi, we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.”
Somehow, he helps you twist around, and he repeats the motion to the back of your shirt and then the sleeves so that it all lies in tatters on the ground at your feet. He’s humming under his breath, as he twirls you back around and you stumble again. He doesn’t bother to try and right you this time, letting you figure it out on your own as he hooks the blade beneath the waistband of your shorts and cuts.
“Oh, my,” he says in mock surprise. “Someone is really enjoying this.”
His hand cups your pussy over your underwear, which will probably be joining the rest of your clothes any minute. You’re hoping that he’s going to do something more, you’re desperate to get those fingers inside of you far enough that you’ll feel the sharp bite of his rings.
“I’m not,” you mumble out, lying right through your teeth.
His thumb presses upward, pushing the slick fabric back and forth, until it’s almost inside of you. “You little liar.”
The cold edge of the knife against your side soaks your panties more, and probably his fingers too. You inhale sharply and let yourself sink down a little, trying to get him to do more. The sound of cutting fabric is again loud to your ears, and then he’s pulling your damp underwear away from your body hastily.
He reaches into the bag again and comes out with a little bell. You also know this, and he reaches up to place it in your hand. You close your fist around it gratefully.
“If you can’t speak, you ring this for me, okay?” he asks, and you give it a little jingle to show him you understand. “Good. Now open your mouth.”
You do as you’re told, letting Ryan push the wadded-up fabric into your mouth. It presses down on your tongue, and you close your teeth around it to keep it in place for him. He lets his eyes rove over you as he steps back, and you wonder what you look like to him, naked and tied up.
“I’ve got you right where I want you,” he says, and your eyes bounce from his face to the knife still in his grasp. “What am I gonna do to you now, Bambi?”
Your chest heaves in anticipation as he brushes the dull edge over your cheek. The cool metal grazes your skin that ignites a fire between your thighs. Shutting your eyes, you lean into the blade with trust, knowing it’s a position where it couldn’t hurt you. Abruptly, he pulls the knife away, pulls the fabric from your mouth, and steps back.
“Ah, I see what you want. Lean forward, darling,” he commands softly to tie a piece of discarded fabric over your eyes. “My kinky girl doesn’t want to see what’s coming.”
An excited, almost delirious giggle erupts from your lips. “That’s me! I’m your kinky girl!”
“I love my kinky girl,” Ryan whispers deeply into your ear while pressing the blade to your throat. “I’ve taken the gag out because I need your airways free. The adrenaline will be wearing off soon, and I don't want you passing out of me.” You nod in understanding.
The ache in your wrists and shoulders is dull now, overridden by the alarm bells warning you of impending danger. A pinch of pain sears down your throat as the knife tip is dragged downward.
“Stay still, my love, or this could go from bad to worse.” Your body tenses under his instruction, yet in the back of your mind, a small voice comforts you.
“You are doing so well.” His praise sinks into your bones. There is no other place you’d rather be than here with him. Sharing this crazy experience together. “I am going to count to four and then ask you to hold your breath. Focus on my voice and not on how your body feels, ok?”
“I can do that.” A thrilling shiver down your spine when the flat edge of the blade is pressed onto your chest.
Thud thud thud
Your racing heartbeat feels like it's bouncing off the blade and into your ears. You can’t quite catch your breath as sweat clings to the edge of the fabric framing your eyebrows.
“Ready?” You exhale all of the air from your lungs. “Breathe.” Ryan’s voice is hypnotic as he counts slowly and evenly. Suddenly, you gasp as the blade nicks at your skin. “Breathe,” he reminds you. You feel your stomach expand as more cool air flows into your lungs. “That’s it, now hold it.” Automatically, you clamp your mouth shut, not wanting to lose a drop of air. Ryan continues to count his voice, lulling your senses.
“Exhale.” As you breathe out, your head rolls forward into a state of relaxation. A large hand against your shoulder keeps you upright. “Again, breathe in.” You comply with his instructions, but you don’t flinch when he cuts into your skin. “Hold.” Slice.
1…
2…
3…
4…
“Exhale.” Slice.
By the next round of breathing, you don’t feel any pain when the blade drags across your skin. All you notice is the warm blood rolling down your breast. Somehow, it feels comforting.
On your final exhale, the blindfold is ripped off your eyes. “Oh fuck,” you squint at the sudden light in your eyes. “What’d yo-” A hand clamps your jaw shut. Ryan crowds your vision, blocking the setting sun. He raises the blood-covered blade to his face. Your eyes lock on his and then glance down at your chest.
Red.
So much red!
Where the blood has dried is a …heart?
“Eyes up here.” Your eyes flick up to him. Ryan sticks out his tongue and slowly, teasingly licks up the blood. Your blood. Transfixed, you stare in a mix of horror and awe. And when he flips the blade over and licks even more blood from the blade, you curse. “Oh fuck me.” Arousal heats your core at the sight of him covered in your blood.
“Sorry, Bambi, what was that?” The tip of his knife presses against the tender underside of your chin, and you want so desperately to jerk your head back, it’s just instinct. “I don’t think I heard you.”
You swallow, knowing the way he’s looking at you with an almost bored expression as he waits doesn’t mean much. But you don’t repeat it because you know he’s not going to. You’re not in any position to be making demands of him. Your hands clench and unclench above your head, sweat making holding the bell difficult but you manage. His eyes track the movement with a small frown.
“Color?” You don’t answer quickly enough, and he cups your cheek gently. “You better answer me right no,w or this is done.”
“Still green!” you manage, and his eyes search yours for any type of lie. You’re sure by the time he’s through with you, that will change, but he’ll take care of you after. He always does. “I promise, Ryan. Keep going!”
That concern melts away as quickly as it was there, and then there’s a quick, sharp bite as the blade of the knife knicks your collarbone. The feeling of his tongue dragging over the wound and licking up the blood makes arousal drip down your thighs, and you toss your head back.
You hear the sound of rope sliding, and then your knees are hitting the hard-packed earth. You don’t have a chance to complain, raising watery eyes to Ryan above you. He’s not done with you, you know that much. You gave him your color like he asked. You rest your hands on your folded knees, a burning sensation running through your limbs.
Ryan tosses the knife down by his bag, the blade sinking into the dirt. You don’t react, instead focusing on the way he’s undoing his pants. He shoved them down his thighs along with his boxers, ringed fingers closing around his cock and stroking it slowly.
“Be good.” he reminds you, before reaching out and bringing a hand to the back of your head, pulling you forward.
You take him into your mouth eagerly, tongue running along the underside of his cock as you bob your head. You take him as deep as you can, knowing that he doesn't want you to tease him or drag this out. Right now, you're just a mouth. His hands come up to hold your head still as he fucks your mouth, hips snapping forward almost viciously. All you can think about is making him come, tasting him on your tongue. One of his hands comes down to cup your jaw, feeling himself there. Tears streak your cheeks, the bottom half of your face a mess of spit, precome and a little bit of blood from where Ryan's fingers have touched you.
The sounds you’re able to make in the few moments you have to breathe are obscene, but despite the feeling of his cock in your throat you have never felt more loved or cared for. One of his hands slides into your hair at the nape of your neck, holding your head still as his cock pulls out with a wet sound.
“Open up,” he orders, and you do what you’re told, opening your mouth wide enough.
His hand is a blur as he jerks himself off over your face, and you squeeze your thighs together as if it’s going to give you any kind of relief. The first splash of come hits your cheek, and you close your eyes as he finishes all over your tongue.
For a few heartbeats, you just remain still as your chest heaves up and down, as Ryan redresses. Waiting for his next order… but it doesn’t come. Instead, he snatches up a piece of your t-shirt and wraps it over your eyes to hinder your vision. Limbs aching, you squirm under his intense gaze boring into your soul. You straighten your back and bind your hands behind your back, expectantly, hoping your eager sign of submission will urge him on.
The pounding in your ears and ragged breathing are all you hear.
Suddenly, your mind begins to spiral. Is he still here? Did he leave you all alone? Is it a full moon tonight? Will I be dinner for wolves?
Without warning, large hands hoist you up from the grass and dirt, limbs aching as Ryan tosses you over his shoulder, and then he runs.
How the fuck he can carry you and sprint at the same time is beyond you but this man as never been short of mystery since you met. “No one is going to find your body,” Ryan says through clenched teeth. Adrenaline spikes through your body at his threat. It’s all part of the game, you remind yourself. But that doesn’t ease your beating heart, and it only stokes the fire in your belly more.
And then all of a sudden, he stops. Without warning, you find yourself falling, your back smacking hard against the grass. Gasping for air, you start to hyperventilate. Ryan curses under his breath as your thoughts spiral out of control. Abruptly, a sharp pain sears through your cheek, jolting your head to the side. You suck in a big gulp of air through your mouth and exhale through your nose to center yourself. The shock of pain successfully resets your brain and body function.
“Breathe,” Ryan says softly from above you. Beside you, the grass rustles, and you feel him lower himself to the ground. A thumb softly strokes the warm cheek and lifts the blindfold. He searches your eyes for fear or panic, but doesn’t find any.
“I’m sorry that was a shitty move on my part while you were starting to panic. The wind being knocked out of you sent you into a panicked state, and I know if I talk you through it, it just makes things worse.
“I know,” you say quietly. “I’ll get you back for smacking me in the face.” You stick out your tongue and thank him for helping you calm down.
“I deserve it, and I cannot wait,” he grins back at you. His hand slides from your cheek to the base of your throat. “Color?”
“Gre-” His tongue swallows your admission down your throat. He adjusts to press his hips to your pelvis, which reignites your aching core. Caged in by his large body, you have nowhere to go. You claw at his shirt, tugging and pulling until you wrench it from his torso. When you both pull away breathless, he settles down onto your hips, pinning you to the forest floor. He slides the fabric blindfold over your eyes once more. The pressure on your pelvis lessens when he lifts off you. His large hands cradle your body gently before being set on something soft. For a second, your hands explore… a blanket?
Then something hard and rubbery presses against your stomach.
“Don’t try to get up.” Pure adrenaline clouds your mind, and all you can do is nod profusely.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir, I-I understand,” your voice starts to waver. Leaves and branches crack nearby.
Ryan crouches beside, and from the corner of your vision, he pulls something from behind him. He braces your chest with his han,d firm on your breast, pinning you to the forest floor.
He doesn’t look at you when he speaks, his eyes trained on whatever is in his hand. His large arm blocking your view. Absentmindedly, his thumb slowly circles your nipple, making it perk up almost instantly.
“I want you to cum all over this blanket so I’ll have something to remember you by.” Something cool and metal grazes your chest, sliding over the slopes of your breasts.
“I’ll never wash it and I’ll never forget you and your pretty face-” Lower the object travels over the soft skin of your tummy. “- and the way you and your body screamed my name in the middle of the goddamn woods.”
Your dominant hand slides down your body following the foreign object until it stops right between your thighs. The forest is deadly quiet except for the pounding in your ears—the hairs on your neck stick straight up. Nerves grip your stomach in fearful anticipation as your fingertips graze the object.
Your hands explore the object only for a second before it's pulled away.
A gun.
“You better start touching yourself,” he growls and your pussy throbs. Your fingers slide swiftly between your folds to circle your clit causing a loud moan to pour from your lips. Nearby critters scurry away, but you pay no mind as the pressure in your core builds and beckons your release.
Suddenly, you yelp when something cold breeches your entrance, filling you fast, but it’s not enough.
“Damn girl,” Ryan grins staring at your slick pussy clenching around the grip of the gun. Your thighs start to tense.
“More…Ry-” Your blinding orgasm cuts off your plea. Body shaking, back arching off the ground, at the mercy of his strong arm keeping you down– all you can do is scream his name.
“You go-”
“So..good,” you say between shaky breaths as you come down, your body still trembling.
In a blur, Ryan shifts so the barrel of the gun presses against your temple. “Beg.”
“Please, Ryan. Please fuck me.” You hear the tell tale sign of a gun being cocked. Mind racing, you blurt out, “Claim me or kill me, pleease Ryan, please just touch me!”
Your pleas turn into sobs as tears stream down your face. Fear and arousal swirl in your gut. You are so close he could touch you and you’d come again.
There’s a soft thud near your head, the unclasping of a belt, and the rustling of jeans.
“On all fours,” Ryan commands.
Despite the exhaustion pulling at you, you muster the strength to comply, shaking your hips teasingly as you move to a comfortable position. You know damn well Ryan loves your ass.
“You think you can tease me?”
“Yes, sir!” Your words drip sarcasm that you hope will get you punished. Ryan cracks the belt.
“It’s working!” He lands a strike to your ass cheek and then the other. Your body has endured so much that only pleasure spreads through the tender skin.
“Fuuuuck,” you moan and shake your hips again, begging for more.
“My little painslut,” he taunts. Each word earns another hard strike to your ass and thighs. “That ass is so red.” The sensitive skin quivers under the touch of his hands as he massages you.
“Let me get a taste of that sweet sweet fear that’s making your pussy so wet.” Your ass cheeks are spread apart with his hands. His hot breath lingers where you want him most. Your pussy aches, your inner walls clenching around nothing. “God, you are so wild. I will never tame you. But I will claim you.” His hands grip the back of your thighs, fingernails digging into your skin. You will definitely have bruises there tomorrow. Suddenly, his tongue dives into you licking and sucking. He nips at your tender folds, and it makes you shriek.
“Fuck you,” you bite out. “Fuck me!” you whine when his tongue teases your ass hole.
“Gladly,” his deep laugh sends a shiver down your spine. Without warning he slams his hard cock into you and then he slowly drags it out. He does this a few times to stretch you out, but then he picks up speed, thrusting into fast and deep, pounding into your cervix.
“More Ry…I.. need more.” Arching your back, you press back into him, taking him deeper. He snakes his hand between your drenched folds. With a few flicks of his fingers on your clit your body tenses. White light flashes behind your eyelids as another orgasm crashes over you.
But he doesn’t let you catch your breath. Ryan pulls out and rolls you onto your back and then pushes your legs up to your chest. Fucked out, all you can do is relax into the blanket. Your eyelids threaten to flutter closed.
“Color?” Ryan asks. In your blurry vision, you see him tug off his jacket and shirt. You give him a thumbs up and a lazy smile.
“One more for me, baby. I’ll take it slow, ok?” he says softly, kissing up your chest.
“I can take it, handsome.” Gripping the side of his face, you pull him into a kiss. It’s slow and soft, just what you needed. “Let me give you what you want.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he mutters against your skin as he trails featherlight kisses down your chest and hips. You can’t help but squirm underneath his teasing touch, your fingers come to rub his scalp. He nips at the flesh of your inner thigh before spreading your lower lips with his tongue. He licks from the entrance to your clit when he sucks your clit hood between his teeth.
“The fuck!?” You jolt up and scowl down at him, and all he does his laugh. In one fluid motion, he lifts your hips to align himself with you. He leans over, caging you as he binds your wrists with his large hand. Kiss the corner of your mouth, he adds, “I want the forest to know who you belong you.” And the he shoves his cock deep into you. Wrapping your legs around him, you tilt your hips and pull him in to take him deeper.
He presses on your tummy. “Jesus, I can feel myself inside of you.” You suck in a gasp. The added pressure makes you feel so full.
“You feel… so.. good,” the last word melts into a moan. Ryan’s hips start to sputter, and his breathing quickens.
“I’m gonna come. I’m gonna co-”
Your head throws back in a silent scream as you clench around him. Ryan’s fingernail digs into your skin as he thrusts one final time into you. You screw your eyes shut tight and thrash against his hand as your final orgasm rips through you. At the same time his cock pulses between your quivering walls and coats them white.
Ryan releases your hands, and you both remain sweaty, sticky, and breathing heavily. Next, Ryan settles down beside you and curls your head onto his chest. His breathing has steadied. His body heat is warm and comforting as you look up at the stars through the canopy of leaves.
“That was amazing,” you say in awe of your wild and feral adventure.
“You are amazing.” Ryan kisses your hair, tugging you in closer.
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