#labpuppy

at times i can feel a phantom sensation of the amputated stump of my tail. i can feel where they cut it off. i think they cut it short and then did something else to remove the leftover. it hurts so much but i do like being able to feel even part of my tail. i like feeling how my body was supposed to be before they changed it.

i hate looking in the mirror and seeing what they did to me. a bastardized dog and a poor excuse for what was meant to be human. ruined forever because some fucking humans wanted to test the limits of their abilities without even considering how it would affect the thing they created.

i feel like the guy from the Tusk movie but instead of a human turned grotesquely into a walrus im a dog turned grotesquely into a human. like im no more actually a human than he is actually a walrus. but there was an intentionally malicious reshaping done of our natural forms for the perpetrators own desires and its fucked with us mentally and physically to the point that we are unable to return to our original forms.

i feel a kinship with other dogs that have cropped ears and docked tails. our situations are not the same but my ears and tail were cut off in order to better integrate into human society. there's a connection there for me

the fact that they gave me human level intelligence and put me in a human environment is so fucked up. like for example, in my original form as a completely natural dog, i wouldn't have gender dysphoria i would just be a bitch (female dog). but because they experimented on me, now im thinking like a human and now gender as a concept matters to me

being a modified dog is such a difficult thing. like yeah i can operate a phone and speak in human language but im not a human at all. im still just a dog. a really fucked up dog, but still just a dog.

i think i was made in a lab. like just thinking about it it's the most likely option? either i was test tube baby-ed or they modified me after birth.