Letter #1020:
Hi K.
I donât know why Iâm writing this letter for you, I know I can just open your blog and paste this on your drafts, or I can just save it on mine, since you can also access my account.
Way back then, I never thought of YOU falling in love with me, cause as I always sing the line from my favorite song âIâm stuck in this illusion called USâ I thought, you and I are two people who will just stick us friends, but here we are now, saying I LOVE YOU to each other.
I know youâre ex gf would never understand me or us because you said you love me too early, Iâm not sorry for what happened, I guess it happened not because it was our choice but it was meant to happen. I was really a friend to her during that time, I didnât ruin what you both have, and I didnât stole you from her. Maybe thereâs an misunderstanding about that, but I will never be sorry if she canât understand me, Iâm tired of explaining myself, and I donât want to bother anymore, maybe we could live like this for now, maybe some other time, Iâll make a move to reconcile with her. But for now, Iâm not the one whoâs ready to be friends with her again. I know sheâs still into you, and I believe you still care about her, and itâs fine with me, you had her before you have me.
With regards to your âfriendâ that I will always feel like Iâm jealous, I donât know, there are times that I feel like you care for her more than an older brother, I know you said that you love me and i just need to trust you. But.. maybe itâs not possible for you to fall for her anyway right? Cause you know why? Way back then, we weâre like that, slowly without noticing, we didnât know that weâre falling for each other. I donât know, maybe I donât like her, because sheâs acting like sheâs your girlfriend. She gets mad when youâre busy. Both of you argue with your time, and me? Iâm just trying to understand you. But believe me, when Iâm jealous, Iâm having a hard time to understand you and our situation. Sometimes, I almost wanted to ask you to make a choice between the two of us, but I donât want you to put on that kind of situation, cause I know, itâll be very hard on you.
Label is not important, as long as you love each other. That matters. But if time comes that youâre having a hard time on me, just tell it straight to my face, Iâm willing to let you go, not because Iâm not in love with you anymore, but itâs another way of saying that Iâll always love you.
But now, I can really feel it, little we know weâre falling apart, weâre slowly drifting apart. But can you just please tell me if we were. Ayoko ng ganito. Ayokong nag hohold on sa isang tao na matagal na pala akong binitiwan or worse hindi naman pala ako kinapitan, na ako lang pala yung hindi bumibitaw.
Since then, palagi kong sinasabi sayo kung balak mo kong iwan sabihin mo na agad, so I can still accept it, habang hindi pa ganon kasakit yung sakit na pwede kong maramdaman. But you said no. Iâm still holding on with that no. I know Iâm the girl who always leave but this time, I donât want to wonder for the rest of my life why I didnât take the risk in holding on to you.
Sorry if I have this kind of letter again, I just feel like I have to write this down.
Always,
B

















