#l.g.f.u.a.d

(for our friend Nicholas, with apologies to Motion City Soundtrack) ♬Let's eat cupcakes and burp.. I'm speaking 'bout birthdays, of course.. Like the last time that you celebrated birthday time… yeah, special birthday time.. Yeah, so you’re ready to party, Which you will remember with your memories and photographs, You've learned to love to party!♬

Let's get fucked up and die. I'm speaking figuratively, of course. Like the last time that I committed suicide, Social suicide. Yeah so I'm already dead, on the inside, But I can still pretend. With my memories and photographs, I've learned to love the lie. I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah. Let me in, Let me in to the club. Cause I wanna belong, And I need to get strong. And if memory serves. I'm addicted to words and they're useless. Let's get fucked up and die. I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie. And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode, I'm about to explode. I'm a mess, I'm a wreck. I am perfect and I have learned to accept: All my problems and short comings, Cause I am so visceral yet deeply inept. I want to thank you for being a part of my Forget-Me-Nots and Marigolds, And all the things that don't get old. Is it legal to do this?  I surely don't know. It's the only way I have learned to express myself. Through other peoples' descriptions of life. I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless. Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling, We'll try not to smile. As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the night, That’s no shock and surprise. I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end. But I choose to abuse for the time being. Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die. Sister Soldier you’ve been such a positive influence on my mental frame. If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash, And my memory lacks initiative. Goddamn the liquor store's closed. We're so close to scoring. It hurts, it destroys, 'till it kills. I am tired and hungry and totally useless.