#kyulogic

4:What do you think about most?

honestly? i wish i had a less depressing answer, but the things that tend to take up the most space in my brain are sad things. i think about mental illness a lot, i think about everything bad that’s happened or is happening in the world, i think about how i don’t understand the cruelty of some people. i worry a lot.

23:How do you vent your anger?

hmm. i rant at my friends. cry. sometimes i rip pieces of paper into smaller pieces. mostly i just cry, tbh.

28:What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i hadn’t been bullied? i know it’s not a choice i made or anything, i just think about it a lot because it has shaped my life and my health too much.

29:Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i do kind of believe in spirits? so i guess yeah i believe in ghosts. i definitely don’t not-believe in ghosts. aliens… i don’t know, really? i think there could be life outside of our planet, for sure, but i don’t know what kind.

41:What was the last book you read?

this is not a love story by suki fleet.

44:What was the last film you saw?

the other day i watched a south korean movie called bleak night.

50:Do you believe in magic?

wouldn’t the world be dull otherwise. yeah, i do believe in magic. maybe not the very traditional kind, like magicians with wands and top hats, but like… something.

51:

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

i tend to blame myself for most things, but i mean… yeah. i definitely hold grudges against the people who bullied me, the men who sexually harassed me, the “friends” who should’ve been there for me but weren’t. i’m not plotting a revenge or anything, but there are things i can’t forgive. cue grudges.

52:

What is your astrological sign?

sagittarius :3

61:

Are you wearing socks right now?

yup. *wiggles toes* it’s november and i live in finland, so yes. all the socks.

67:

What were you doing last night at 12AM?

i’m wild, young and free, so i was making christmas cards while pirates of the caribbean 3 played in the background. rock’n’roll. uwu

74:

What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

no other by super junior. :3

76:

In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

mutual trust, understanding and respect, with some laughter thrown in the mix. i think this applies to all relationships, be it platonic, romantic and/or sexual. and like, don’t hurt yourself or others. <3

79:

What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

serious life story time: dropping out of uni and getting help. even though it did (and stil does sometimes) make me feel like a failure, it was the best thing to do. it was the hardest and the best thing to do. if i hadn’t done it, i honestly think i would’ve ended up in a hospital.

80:

What size shoes do you wear?

depends on the shoes, but i think most of my shoes are size 40. this is an EU size, i have no idea what my shoe size would be in us/uk/japan/etc sizes. i have big feet, let’s just go with that, lol.

81:

What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

my name. makes it a bit easier to find.

82:

What is your favourite word?

IN WHAT LANGUAGE THOOOO D: um. um. in my own language, i’ve always really liked “syyssade”. it means autumn rain. i like the sound of all the S’s, and i think the word really fits the meaning? like, it’s a rainy-sounding word. idek, i just really like it. uwu

84:

What is a saying you say a lot?

mainly i just quote movies, tv shows and kpop things a lot. i say “even the notion!!” quite often, lol.

89:

What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

hmm, i don’t know. some things re: mental illness are hard to talk about.

92:

You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

any of the good times i had with my grandpa. watching him carve things out of a block of wood, listening to his childhood stories, pinching his nose when i was a toddler. i miss him. x

93:

You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the bullying. like, more than the abuse itself, it hurts to know that i won’t ever get to know what my life would be like if i hadn’t been bullied. it sounds melodramatic but it really has shaped my life and health so much, in the worst possible ways. it affects my life every single day, in one way or another. and it’s so fucking unfair. so i really would like to know what it feels like to be whole, instead of broken and clumsily taped back together. 

94:

You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

i know this cheeky little question is probably referring to sex, but i’m gonna go with actual literal sleep. because i would much much much rather sleep next to someone than have sex with them. so, as much as i’d love to pick my ultimate bias kyukyu, i’m gonna go with actual ray of sunshine lee donghae because he just seems like the best cuddler in the world. and kyu snores, lol. so yeah, i would pick donghae and we’d both wear cartoon print pyjamas and probably talk about hyukjae’s jawline and then fall asleep. and then he’d sneak out to sleep in hyuk’s bed and i’d sneak out to sleep in kyu’s bed (after putting a sock in his mouth to prevent snoring). THIS IS THE GRAND PLAN. (although lbr i would be horrendously awkward and probably cry, lol.)

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