tonight, my heart is filled with about as much joy, and love and contentment i think a lil’ heart like mine could possible handle!Â
i’ve recently just been thinking of all the things i want, telling God all the things that i want... neglecting the things that i need, as well as the things God wants for me.Â
then, last night at church, i was suddenly hit with this reminder that “hey, Jesus loves you, but you gotta chill! He has so many incredible plans for you, He loves you and has a ridiculously wonderful plan- but you have got to just stop wanting  and start having trust in Him!”Â
honestly, i’ve been spending the past week or two just thinking that what i want, and what i think i want, is going to be better for me, and my future, than what He has in store for me- and boy, oh, boy was i wrong. what He has in store for me, is so much greater than what i could ever imagine- and today, was proof of that when an opportunity i never would have even imagined in my wildest of dreams came my way- and i’m just now taking the time to actually slow down and go, “okay okay this is what Jesus wants for me and the way i was seeking before, was simply my ego being put ahead of Him.”Â
it can be so difficult sometimes to have trust, especially in God because He does work in mysterious ways that we sometimes can just simply not understand. i find it especially difficult to put my trust in Him in regards to my romantic relationships as well- and i think “well, c’mon Jesus, just give me my man and let it all be good” or i go “well Jesus, i met this guy and he loves You and he is kind and generous and has a big heart and maybe i like him- work your magic” and it doesn’t work like that Jesus, doesn’t work like that. that’s not to say that this guy isn’t my partner that Jesus has so specially picked out for me- but it’s just to say that me wanting him now, may not be what Jesus wants for me now- and that’s frustrating at times! and its okay to be frustrated with God! (i also remind myself of the past relationships i have tried to have with guys when i had turned my back on Jesus and how crappy they were and that in itself is a reminder that He knows more about what i need, than i do!)Â
but remember that He works in great ways and beautiful ways and what He has in store for you, is so freakin’ awesome. the person He has in store for you is more incredible than you could have imagined, and he loves Jesus more than anything or anyone else in this world, and he will love you a remarkable amount too. and Jesus is good. He is so, so good. you just gotta start trusting Him in every aspect of your life. love. careers. relationships. study. all of it.Â
it’s not easy, but it’s gosh dang life-changing to put Jesus at the forefront of your life.Â
so, i leave you with this;
