#kumeko

 Kanda’s a man of routine. So that’s why he’s used to waking up at 6:00 am to go on his morning run with Lena and Lavi. He’s used to seeing Miranda rushing from one side to the other in their apartment’s kitchen, preparing something for breakfast for when they come back and for when Allen wakes up because she couldn’t go back to sleep and she can’t stand staying still. He’s even used to Lavi’s whining about not finding his right shoe before finding it where he always does, under Allen’s bed.

Kanda’s a man of routine. Has always been.

Which is why he can’t help but feel a bit wrong-footed when Lena approaches him, wide smile on his face, while he’s tying his hair in a ponytail and trying to arrange the loose side bangs with hair clips, her hands batting his own away before grabbing the strands of hair.

Kanda knows Lena and he knows better than to stop her. He has known her for a very long time and yet only now is Kanda starting to accept more of this simple contact. Not only from her but from everyone else as well, he’s slowly learning to trust a bit of himself to them and he’s still not completely sure how to feel about that but they never ask for more than what he can give and he’s grateful for that. 

She runs her fingers through the strands a few times, working any remaining knots in them. Kanda’s is about to tell her they’re running late but her slow movements leave him feeling relaxed and he can’t find the will to tell her. So he doesn’t, and instead he tilts forward just a bit, closer to her.

He loses himself in the gentle pull and twist of his hair and the comfortable silence of the room. He’s so relaxed he almost doesn’t notice when Lena steps back to grab something from the drawer before going back to his hair.

Only then does Kanda notice the loose strands of hair, usually tucked behind his ears or arranged with hairpins, are not there. He panics for a second until Lena steps back, wide smile on his face, and he can see himself in the mirror behind her.

“There you go!” Is all she says before she’s walking out of the room.

Kanda stands up and walks closer to the mirror, taking a better look at the thin braids that used to be his loose hair strands tucked behind his ears, held in place by a few hairpins at the beginning of his ponytail. He turns his head side to side, really enjoying the lighter feeling and not having to arrange his hair every few movements.

Kanda thinks he can get used to this.

*****

“You’re gonna burn your hair off Bakanda.” Comes Allen’s voice from the kitchen table.

“I’m not, and shut up.” Kanda snaps back at him, not bothering to turn around from the frying eggs in front of him.

He wasn’t admitting that he, indeed, almost burned his hair off. For the third time.

He turns the flame low and reaches up to arrange his long hair once more, grumbling and cursing as the shorter strands keep slipping down. He gives up after the third attempt and goes back to preparing breakfast.

“Good morning!” Lena greets them as she enters the kitchen, “Are those eggs I’m smelling?”

“Morning” Allen answers back, voice sleepy, “It’s Kanda’s turn to make breakfast and that’s the only thing he won’t burn”

“Says the one who almost burned our kitchen curtains trying to make oatmeal pancakes”

“Totally worth it” Kanda hears him yawn before there’s the scrape of the chair against the floor as Allen stands up to leave, “I’ll go wake Lavi up. Try not to burn your hair off Bakanda!”

The fork Kanda throws at him hits the wall and clatters to the floor, Allen’s laugh echoing from the hall.

A comfortable silence falls over the kitchen save for the sizzling of the eggs and the scrape of the fork against the pan. He sees out of corner of his eye as Lena approaches the coffee maker and hears it beep as she starts it up. He feels his hair slipping from his ponytail once again and is about to put the pan aside to arrange it again when Lena beats him to it.

“Let me do it.” She says and Kanda lets her.

He feels her getting closer before there’s those gentle movements again, feels her carding her fingers through his hair accompanied this time by a slow and constant pulling and twisting. He feels her hands slowly gathering strands of hair before pulling them back and arranging them till there’s no more brushing his face, then there’s just a twisting motion from her hands.

Kanda knows she must be standing on her tiptoes to reach and the thought alone makes him smile softly, so he turns the stove off and puts a lid to the pan before he leans back a bit to help her. Leans into the feeling and closes his eyes, listens to her soft chuckle.

He’s still getting used to this. Some days are better than others and today he feels an immense warmth pooling inside of him at the touch. And so he leans into it, leans into the feeling and goes with it.

Lavi and Allen’s laughter ring in the background silence, Lena begins humming a vaguely familiar song, sunlight spills through the window and Kanda could just stay in this moment forever.

When Lena is done with whatever she did to Kanda’s hair (a fishtail braid, he’d later learn), she braces herself with both hands against Kanda’s back and stretches to place a soft kiss against his nape.

“I love your hair, wouldn’t want it getting (burnt/burned).” She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head against his back with a soft sigh.

Kanda’s getting used to this. It’s a slow process.

But he thinks it’s really worth it.

*****

Kanda’s slowly letting himself enjoy those simple touches.

And even slower, he’s learning to ask for them.

It takes him awhile, to gather the courage, and even then most times he doesn’t even voice it. The rest are slowly learning to catch the subtle movements or gestures that mean Kanda wouldn’t mind a bit of touching at the moment. And Kanda is immensely grateful for that.

He doesn’t have to voice that either, they all know.

Perhaps that’s why he has started to enjoy Saturday movie nights even more.

The Grinch is softly playing in the background, Allen, Lavi and Miranda having fallen sleep not even halfway through, and Kanda stopped paying attention shortly after. He feels warm and comfortable sitting against Lena’s side, the small couch they share not even big enough to let them stretch properly.

He feels his eyelids growing heavier and he barely registers he has started to lean into Lena until she gently rests her hand against his cheek, slowly tilting his head till its resting against her shoulder. Her other hand is absently playing with a long strand of his hair that has gone loose off his poorly-made bun. The constant movement only making him sleepier.

He’s so content and relaxed and later on he’ll blame his sleepiness for his actions but as of right now, he goes with it and lies down on her legs.

He listens her soft chuckle and then both of her hands are on his hair, she has long ago learned how much that does to Kanda and honestly, Kanda doesn’t mind that much showing that side of his these days. So he settles there, gets comfier, pulls his legs up and stretches them over the armrest of the couch as far as he can.

Lena runs her fingers in a constant pattern through his hair, she scratches his scalp oh so lightly before running her fingers all the way to the tips of the long strands. The motion sends shivers down Kanda’s spine and he can’t help but snuggle closer.

“Feels good?” He doesn’t need to turn around to knows Lena’s smiling when she asks and his gentle tone only makes Kanda feel even more relaxed.

“You know it does” he murmurs back.

Lena‘s low chuckle makes him smile and he tries to hide it against her leg. He feels Lena leaning closer to him before she moves his hair aside to place a soft kiss against his temple.

“I do” she says, voice barely a whisper.

Both the words and the gesture leave a tingling sensation on Kanda’s neck that travels all the way down to his stomach. A feeling of affection and adoration washes over him, leaving him feeling a bit giddy and cozy, and he knows he’s blushing as he tilts his head just a bit to place a kiss on Lena’s knee.

She then continues running her fingers through his hair, separating strands and twisting and pulling if only a bit and Kanda knows by the time the movie’s over he’ll have quite a few braids made and honestly, even if he knows he’ll get some comments from the rest of the group, he doesn’t really care about that.

So he cuddles closer, takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes.

*****

*Bonus*

Kanda’s starting to enjoy Christmas a bit more every year. They’re all.

It might have something to do with the fact they’ve all decided to focus a lot more in spending some free time together, rather than in the celebration itself. That and Allen’s birthday.

But it’s not an easy task and celebrations keep making Kanda feel a bit jumpy and a lot anxious. The group has helped him a lot though, all of them being in the same situation and some dealing better than others but still, they know it’s a bit harder for Kanda.

So they presented him with a variety of “activities” to help him with that. All of them showing him a bit of what helps them.

Allen, to no one’s surprise, finds relief in baking. Which is most definitely why the apartment smells (and has been smelling) of cinnamon and sugar and butter and god knows what else. And that’s also why they end up with a wide variety of pastries, specially these days. Kanda has even seen him bake 3 batches of cookies at 3am.

Lavi’s more of the puzzle and journaling kind. The amount of journals he has filled with pictures, cuttings or just writings is big enough to occupy two complete shelves of their bookcase. Besides that, Kanda has seen him complete at least 3 times the same 5 puzzles they have in the apartment. In a sitting.

Meanwhile, Miranda leans more to the crafting side. Most specifically, knitting. Which is why all of them end up with at least 2 different Christmas sweaters every year. Not to mention all the other stuff she likes to do, like embroidery or paper quilling.

And last but not least, there’s Lena. And if there’s something in particular she likes to do Kanda has yet to discover because most times Lena simply prefers to make company to whomever is in the middle of their activity. For example, sometimes she helps Allen with the icing of the cookies, other times she helps Lavi with the cuttings for his journal, and then other days she sits with Miranda while she teaches her how to knit with different stitches.

Because of this, Kanda has come up with the realization that Lenalee, more than anything, finds some sense of calm in helping others. And hence why Kanda’s not embarrassed at all to ask for her help.

He has tried every single activity the rest have told him, and yet none of those have helped him as much as that one other he discovered by accident. And that one other being hairstyling, if it can be called that. He doesn’t even remember how he discovered it, something about feeling restless and Lena being there and-

A soft touch against his hands brings him back to the present and he finds Lena looking at him with warm eyes and a soft smile. He hadn’t even notice he had been clenching his hands into fists. He looks around the room, sees Allen and Lavi cuddled in a couch watching another Christmas movie, sees Miranda in the single couch by the corner finishing what looks like a rainbow scarf, takes in the smell of cinnamon and chocolate, counts the empty plates over the coffee table where they had some birthday cake, he observes all of this all over again and it helps him relax a bit. But not completely.

He looks back at Lena and she smiles at him oh so softly, cupping both of his hands in hers before lying down on his legs. She then gently pulls on his hands till they’re resting on her hair. And Kanda feels a wave of relief and affection wash over him.

He runs his fingers through her silky hair a few times before he starts braiding it and arranging it. And when he’s done he undoes it and starts all over again, going through the different styles Lena taught him. He does a thick fishtail braid first, then he undoes it to make two of them from the top of his head all the way down on both sides, he undoes that one and goes for two smaller ones on each side to form a kind of diadem on her head, and he goes on and on.

Kanda feels himself relaxing more and more with each hairstyle and little braid he makes and breaks apart. And Lena lets him, running her fingers oh so lightly over his legs and holding strands of hair for him from time to time. Despite the background noise from the tv it all feels quiet and cozy, and Kanda thinks he could stay like this all day.

He has moved to making as many little braids as he can with Lena’s hair when she turns around in his lap to look at him. She smiles at him and Kanda smiles back, Lena reaches up with both hands to oh so gently cup Kanda’s face and he leans into the touch. Lena lets out a soft chuckle and then she’s pulling him down for a kiss. It’s slow and warm and everything Kanda loves and when it’s over he rests his head against hers, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Merry Christmas.” She says with a kiss against his forehead.