By: Christina Lynn Dufour

A fuzzy white cloud softly dissipates as I recall the moment in my mind’s eye. I’m 16. Nervous. Taking my driver’s test. I must get the license. Our less than casual test drive seems to be going smoothly despite my hiding shakes within. Then. The K-Turn.

This guy goes and picks some crazy un-even lop-sided bumpy hill. I thought; cool, okay, I got this! I did it. Actually, I did a double K-Turn. It’s known as the W-Turn. Go me, right?! Luckily, we didn’t hold up any traffic and the gracious instructor had some faith in me. I recall him mentioning something about my being, ‘cautious.’

Interesting, now nearly 14 years later and the K-Turn comes back! Don’t get me wrong, K-Turns have come up pretty frequently on the road over all these years. However, when you do a double or a triple one…well, who really cares, right? I mean, you already have the license. This one happened to be different though. Not only do I do the turn in one shot…I had a bit of fun! While backing up, in an instant I recalled the moment of that test. Even more interesting, I was here on another crazy uneven lop-sided bumpy hill.

Every K-Turn is different. The quality, appearance, and general structure of a surface one is driving upon affects perception. How much to turn the wheel, how much pressure to give the gas, and how far back can I actually go? For any regular and experienced driver, it’s likely a task that doesn’t take much thought, or need conscious questioning. No matter how good or bad we execute any K-Turn, the muscle and mind memory take over to assist you…and you’re off.

This day. So many miles driven and K-Turns made, I did something different. I paid attention. Bringing awareness to what I was doing now relating to the memory of a test past. I backed up the normally programmed amount and upon looking forward, noticed there wasn’t much space to fully finish the turn. Hmmmm. I looked back. In that moment, realizing the only thing to stop me was a curb on the ground. ‘So what if my tire hits the curb?’ I considered. ‘Why not keep backing up. Pay attention to how that looks so you can recognize the space you do have when backing up for the future. Go back as far as the curb. Bump into it. Why not?”

Silly, I know. This is what happened that evening. Yes, upon turning to look forward, I had more than enough room to complete a regular ole one time K-Turn. I did it! Somehow after that moment, it wasn’t the K-Turn that mattered so much. The lessons learned through paying attention with awareness and being in the moment, stand out. Isn’t it easy to be cautious in life? In any area or aspect of daily actions and interactions, many choose the road of caution on which to travel.

Thinking up ideas, dreams and leaving them to float away. Staying in any unhealthy situation, from job to relationship. Keeping from saying I love you. Making choices while tip toeing around. Not allowing all of you to shine as true as you are, for fear? Or, perhaps, making double K-Turns all your life. Choosing the W-Turn instead because, well, it’s all you know. Or, perhaps, choosing the W-Turn because you’re too afraid to push the limits, to take a chance.

What if we treated the risks in life like a curb? What’s the big deal if you hit a little curb? Now, please be advised, that if there is a tree in the way and you would hit that, or if a curb does not exist and you are about to fall off a cliff you can clearly see…please put the car in drive and pull forward away from disaster. Let’s not be stupid, silly!

Still. There’s something in this synthesis. Sometimes we must change the way we see things, to change that with which we believe is in the realm of possibility. The earth turns, seasons churn, and everything moves, changing around us pretty consistently. Whether one wants to bring awareness to their present state or not, that state is in constant evolution. We are ever growing and we’re not growing young. Time is limited. Okay, yea, I know that’s totally cliché. Regardless, has the timing of any death, fast or slow, not shown to be unpredictable?