#krypte

krypte a réagi à votre billet : I’m really excited to study law and philosophy but...

law and philosophy… nice :)

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

There comes a time when you ask yourself, who are your friends. The ones that stick through thick and thin, the ones when you call them they listen, they give you a shoulder, lend you an ear, change their schedule to have a girls/guys night out. How do you know which ones to lose and which ones to invest time in. Is it the old friendship that has no time to give or the new friendship that has the time just not the same feelings.

When looking at the definition of a friend, do you share a bond of mutual affection. What the hell does that mean, can I trust this dude? Because he can trust me and that's the only state I'm at. Whether we like each other is nonsense. 6 beers in and the "bond" is deeper than 6 years. But then again there's nothing mutual about this. If you dig deep enough the question starts to become am I a good friend. How do you go about to find out? Ask your current friends? Ask your significant other? But then aren't these people all bias? What do you yourself look for in a friend? Someone you can trust? Someone who has the same interests? Someone who laughs at your jokes? 

"Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults." - Socrates

There's times when you might over trust a friend and the next thing you know, that secret, ain't so secret any more. That bond ain't so special any more. When they speak to you all you can think about is, you told them you mother fucker. I let these things slide. I made the first mistake of trusting a human being. Does that mean we're not friends any more? From an absolute view, yes. From societies view, no. I guess I better play along...Am I relying on these people too much? Hell no. Do I have high expectations? Fuck yes, this ain't no Mickey Mouse Club. 

Why is it that we have to put up with the amount of lacklustre friends. That only one person is trying to keep things in tact. I look at my elder's friends and they refer to one another as brother or sister. They use words of respect to express whom is older when addressing. They still all have their issues. We're all fuck ups at one point of our life...I guess people don't like committing, don't believe in trust, I guess that's why we have families.

The funny thing about moving on is how fast you want to show everyone you can do it. How independent you are. How no one complements you. How no one completes you. How it took so long to realize things but now things are so clear. So clear because you're listening to friends you have never listened to or didn't listen to. They'll sweep in out of nowhere to look like some kind of hero. Even defaming the other when they can. So clear because you are listening to a different part of your brain. So clear because that one person is gone from your life and they're not overwhelming you anymore. You're out doing things you always loved to do, with the friends you love to do them with...

But one day you meet somebody, or a friend becomes something more. Then it happens again. You fall for the same things, from a different being. You make the wrong decisions, together and on your own. You have your friends and they will always support you. But the story is never white and black. Yea you tell it to them, but then you never realize a fault because a friend always supports. You never realize a fault because the story is always told the same way.

"There's three sides to every story, there's one side, there's the other, and then there's the truth." - Usher Raymond

Who else can be critical on the situation? There's usually only one other person who knows the story as well as you do. But then again is it not only your own opinion that matters? Moving on, it's easy. Get laid and get paid. But it should be about realizing the faults, whether your own or not. It should be about improving yourself, your judgement, your character, your strength. Not this bullshit epiphany you want to show off to the world. Not "hey old friends, we can be friends again". Being true to yourself is nice, being a better person is on a different level. That doesn't mean changing. Changing you're starting from zero, but growing is always positive progress. 

"The good man is the man who, no matter how morally unworthy he has been, is moving to become better" - John Dewey