Pt 1 a collection of imaginations. (circa 2000) 'if we saw the light of day’
(artwork by emma gregory)
The intention behind this stems from a number of realisations,
primarily that the initial conception of an artistic idea is its purest ,most earnest form of being. Often after its initial conception it requires rethought, arranging, editing and reproducing to be fully realised. That initial essence and intention of an idea at its conception easily gets drowned in the process of procrastination and deliberation that follows , often losing it’s sentiment and its powerful raw natural beauty, with a truth that speaks so earnestly to its listener.
Ideas were always most distorted when I had over contemplated what had just begun merely as a sensation, a momentary vision or iteration of a mood or imagination . There was sometimes this overshadowing thought that somehow I had to make everyone understand something that was indescribable, and inexplicable even to its author. The reality of art as the observer is that no two people feel one same thing when connecting with a piece of art, a good book, piece of music, sure they relate perhaps to a universal concept but Their perception is formed from their own unique indescribable collection of sensations and experiences. Some of the greatest art speaks to us long after we are first faced with it. For me the poems of Rumi at 20 years old were just beautifully ambiguous and mystical, now 10 years on they speak to me with great depth and have shed some light on very dark moments . As a teenager classical music was a sea of wordless noise that swept over me, yet now it paints a torrent of emotions, the lack of words is a canvass to conjure my own thoughts and let the music speak to me on a level that no words can convey. The paintings of Hopper seemed lifeless and lonely as a 20 something, yet now the isolation and solitude somehow inspire strength and hope, reminds me that being alone is perfect if you are good with yourself and that sometimes life is sitting in a roadside diner at 4am with no-one to talk to.
The excitement and motivation i have always felt to pursue an idea is fueled by an unwavering belief that that idea is from a place/ a feeling that i need to relate. It is a sentiment that i can express earnestly, and bursting with adrenaline and impatience the expression flows faster than my mind can keep up with, . This pursuit of expression is initially subconscious , it is an expression of pure feeling without thought, it is the magical element of creation and i have always felt a deep curiosity for the mystery of how these creations are conceived. What follows this initial flow is a conscious desire to express that idea further or with more clarity, to impress and decorate the idea, it is impulsive and unstoppable. It is secondary in the sense that it is driven by external things. That initial intuitive spark is what ignites the fire of true expression, everything else is fuel.
The best art undoubtedly has an earnest quality that is hard (perhaps almost impossible) to recapture after it has been deconstructed and analysed reimagined and redesigned. It is something in that initial essence beyond the music or words, beyond the perfection of a mix or the choice of production, it is a momentary expression that we feel from the delivery and intention, it is an unquantifiable expression of a moment. Perhaps the real artistry is the ability to capture this enigma, the culmination of pure feeling into a musical iteration. It cannot be learned, imitated or faked without losing its essence. Imitations are simply an expression of something other.
This project is a collection of first takes, sketches, memos, poems, lyrics and B sides that never made it into the light. Some are instinctive ideas, first takes and some imaginations behind later ideas, it was the process that led to other more realised works, or simply just expressions of utter confusion or declarations of enlightened bilss , these are sounds that looking back connect to everything I have created so far and sounds that would have otherwise been forgotten about.
The reality looking back as an artist over the last years( as i imagine it is for many artists) is that most of what I have created has never been heard or fully realised. to me this seemed absolutely contrary to the reasons behind me ever creating in the first place. This admittedly happened for a number of reasons that are both unclear and some clearer in retrospect
- in some cases it was the vulnerability of letting go of an idea and the inability to accept it is finished and already realised (it sometimes will never be finished),
-also the feeling that the next thing was always more valuable than the last , I guess we are all guilty in this fast paced world of not stopping to appreciate and nurture something that we feel is good in search of the new and next best thing. chasing this idea that something better lies ahead when in fact what we already have is far more than we had ever dreamed of and is actually all that there is.
This collection of sounds for me is about exploring the sometimes temporary nature of the artistic process. about being an artist in such a fast moving world, a world where everything can have such temporary value. A world where people can voice an opinion so quickly and easily that they often dont stop to take time to contemplate and admire what they are experiencing. There must be So many lost stories and creations that have not been fully considered and admired before they were shelved and forgotten about in the promise of a tomorrow that is illusory. This sometimes creates a predicament in the creator of prioritising being prolific or seeking to be innovative over substance and the genuine intention of an expression .
This project is for me not looking at what i ‘had’ or what i ‘could have’ but a separation of myself from unfinished projects , to let other people hate it, love it, criticise it, analyse it, feel it. It is not for me to criticise my own work so readily, particularly not work that has never seen the light of day. Perhaps some of it never should! However unimagined and unfinished art can be some people will feel its essence and others will see what is missing. How my music is received is not why i started to create, to me this shouldnt stand in the way of expression. Regardless of perfection or completion, art is just a series of moments, moments that i want to share because in some way or another the people that hear these have either been a part of or have inspired them, these are universal feelings of the friends, family, animals, strangers and world around me. Of deep confusion and a deep sense of belonging. I hope if anything they offer you an insight into my work and journey as an artist, and inspire you to not leave unexpressed art to collect dust.
The first sketch is a short orchestration i made the night of the european referendum.I was travelling to the Amalfi coast the next day and remember this strange perplexity at the airport, the absurdity of brexiteers in the easyjet queue were openly praising the result for an independant britain on their way to quaff cheap spanish wine in their spanish holiday homes and enjoy the luxuries of moving freely. Sometimes the familiar can feel incredibly alien, an unforgettable day. The essence of this sketch is the duality of wanting to stay somewhere out of comfort and familiarity yet feeling the uncertainty and unease of change.
https://soundcloud.com/krusoemusic/remain/s-Hn4wk
