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I regret to inform my fellow Christmas observers that Santa Claus has been cancelled. After three skimpily dressed women passed him by on the street, Ol Saint Nick reportedly pointed at each one and declared "Ho, ho, ho!" In 2023 this sort of naked misogyny simply will not fly. But even without the Spirit of Christmas, we should not lose our own Christmas spirit. So to that end, I wish you all a merry time in this, the year Santa got cancelled.
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You're a green one...... mister binch
I regret to inform you that Santa has just been cancelled by the woke left. According to recent reports, as three scantily clad women passed him on the street last night, Ol' Saint Nick stopped, pointed at each one, and bellowed "Ho, ho, ho!"
*charging up dark magic in my evil staff to raise my undead army* 🎶 I'm dreaming of a wight Christmas... 🎶
Santa used to be cool but then it turned out he was actually a raging misogynist and I had to cancel him on twitter as per my civic duty
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD FIGHT! I say, lowering my arms. I emerge from the smoke and dust, beaten but alive, the annual Yuletide Battle Royale now behind me.
Father Christmas himself has edged out another narrow victory for the 6th year in a row, earning him the reward of every present in the world. He laughs heartily, his gut matched only by his greed, calling us names as he flies away, content.
It is with this - and only this - that another joyous holiday has officially passed and we stand here agog to realize we have lived to die another day. In the loss of empty materialism, we have discovered the one true gift we all still share tonight: life itself.
God bless us everyone.
its CHRISMSUS you FAT NASTY TRASH....
Hello.
We would like to wish you an adequate period of yuletide festivities on behalf of all of us here at Toast Co.
If you have come to find that your designated festive period is not of satisfactory quality, please contact our Quality Assurance Department at 5-805-2033, or at [email protected] in order to file a complaint. Please allow 6 to 8 weeks for swift response.
Thank you, and may you have a joyous festive period.
- Desiring only the best for our loyal customers, Toast Co.
