@krhyze sent : “ I think you know how to love better than any of us. That’s why you find it all so painful. ”
the words make her pause, fingers still where they had been scrubbing scoring from the barrel of her blaster, its twin already gleaming at her side. she should have known that bo would find her here. her sister always seems to know when she’s upset, and has an irritating knack for discovering her hiding places. perhaps they are simply too alike for satine to have any hope of evading her for long.
she returns to her work, cursing the emotion welling in her eyes. “ or perhaps i am just weak — you can admit it, bo, i know you must think so. ” she will not, cannot, meet bo-katan’s gaze. fears that if she does, the tears she holds at bay will break free, the last shreds of her self control falling away like smoke. she had come here to be alone, to break without the watchful eyes of their father and his advisors, but of course her sister won’t allow her that.
this should be an occasion to celebrate, after all ; duke kryze’s daughters returned, successful and unharmed, from their first patrol. but satine cannot bear their congratulations, cannot quiet the racing of her heart or the shake in her hands. all she can hear is the awful, strangled sound that had come through the man’s helmet vocoder, as her shot pierced through the gap in his armor. the way he had crumpled still sets her stomach churning, and she cannot understand how she is meant to bear this so easily. surely, there is something wrong with her, to be so affected by death. she has been born into war, and yet she is too faint of heart to stomach it.
“ what sort of warrior am i, that i cannot defend my clan without falling apart? ”
