#krankles

“Krankles…please wake up…”

Aquamarine whispers faintly, hovering over the downed merchant for who knows how long. She had checked his pulse, still beating. His chest? Still moving…so that’s good. The bad news is this dark green, almost blackish spot on top of Krankles’ noggin. This beanish bruise is big enough to make her fret…he’s not waking up anytime soon.

Taking a moment to check her surroundings, she picks him up gently and peers at the top of the slope. Seems like everything but the wind had died down while Aquamarine hid from her coworkers.

“Brr…! When did it get so cold…and where do I even start?”

The least she could do was try to fix the mess that she…The Stygian Stars have caused. As far as the woman knows, the Krankles Kart was his entire livelihood and now it’s in shambles. Aquamarine digs in her emergency travel bag and finds a cheap blanket to cover her friend with. That’ll keep him warm. She starts to pick up anything that could be carried and salvaged. This busywork got her daydreaming back to her conversation with Krankles earlier…

The press of a button can transform the shop into a suitcase for even easier transport and THAT IS FACT!

Ooh would that still work? Aquamarine puffs out her chest and waddles. She carries his wares and places them on the shelves. So it transforms with a button…she deduced it would make the most sense if it was activated remotely. After some quick searching on Krankles’ body (with apologies included) Aquamarine found a remote. 

CRUNCH! 

Welp, that was concerning. But the Krankles Kart reluctantly folded back into a suitcase. Might wanna tell Krankles to be careful with that when he wakes up again…

WHEN he wakes up…Aquamarine checks her burner phone. It’s already past midnight, and the weather app indicates an incoming snowstorm in just a few hours…oh dear.

“No wonder why it’s so flipping cold and windy out…shoot. Okay I got the Kart but where am I taking the Krankles? No idea where he lives–if he even HAS a home…and I can’t think of a good place to go except…”

My house. I mean…we are right here in Dimble Woods. It’s warm and I’d have everything I need to take care of things.

Aquamarine thinks things over while pacing around the unconscious Krankles. As soon as she made up her mind, she ran with Krankles and suitcase in tow. A gorgeous trail of blue and white stones led to a home with the same colors standing amongst the trees. A simple wooden porch swing was rattling on and on due to the whipping winds. Her thumbs struggle to press all the buttons on her miniature wiggler decoration, but thankfully her spare key pops out of it. The night is far from over, but home sweet home!

* * *

Everything was calm as Fawful regained his senses. The warmth of the afternoon light seeped into his body from the windows. The sunshine reveals dust particles floating around multiple shelves of collectables Fawful doesn’t recognize. He felt quite comfortable on this new couch; it wasn’t like his old bed. The only thing that stopped him from lulling back to sleep was a rumbly tummy and a dry mouth. These bad feelings start stacking on top of each other because he’s now realizing:

Wait a second. This—this is not the evil lair. What happened last night??

Fawful was now alert as he quickly wiggled out of his warm blankets! Comfort be damned. Is this a trap? There’s the couch, a coffee table; and then there’s this vintage 70 inch RPTV with stacks of DVDs covering up the built-in speakers. No this just looks like a living room, interesting television aside. Fawful was playing detective some more when he smelled something…good? It must be from the kitchen. Chicken…onion…celery…maybe corn? He was about to walk across the hall but someone met him at the doorway. Someone oddly familiar…

It was Aquamarine.

“OH! Oh my gosh hi! I-I was just checking to see if you were awake. How are you feeling…?”

“Seafoam?! YOU!”

Now it’s all coming back to him! Fawful quickly grabs his cloak and pulls the hood over his face to try and retain the Krankles facade. 

“Yes it’s me—well it’s Aquamarine but please allow me to explain first!”

Krankles stomps his feet and takes a deep breath, about to give her a piece of his mind for all that trouble last night! But then she presents his suitcase. 

“GGRRAAHhuuuhh…?”

Krankles Kart?! He snatches it from her hands and double checks that this isn’t a fake. How it went back together after the crash baffled him.

“E-Explain yourself, pirate!”

Aquamarine sighs with relief and murmurs a quick thank you before leading Krankles to the kitchen. Chairs were already pulled back as they both took their seat at the dinner table. He saw that a big pot was sitting on the stove but didn’t know what was in it. Despite having all night and morning to plan out this conversation, Aquamarine was still unprepared.

“Can you recall what happened last night before I fill you in on the details?”

“With clarity of water through a thousand angry filters, yes! Seafoam was like a siren, catching my attention. There was much to discuss! But then with the downplay of that…artifiact? Hmph! As if Krankles had even cared for that thing until you pirates had planned the attack! How ruthless! I almost had the dying death!! You deny Krankles apprenticeship, but brought me and my Kart into your abode. It’s making my hair frazzled!” 

He plays around with the little hair he has left to make a point, while Aquamarine frowns and twirls her own hair.

“I’m sorry about all that Krankles…I really am. Looking back on it, I was afraid I couldn’t afford the piece of the Helm if I told you how important it was. It wasn’t on purpose but I undermined your passion for your craft. You deserve all the coins for what you gather.” 

Aquamarine sips her drink nervously, making sure not to get water on or underneath her mask. Krankles crossed his arms and seemed to accept the apology.

“It’s true that I’m part of the Stygian Stars but…it’s starting to get a little weird. You see, the Captain started a new campaign for the Hallmark’s Helm. Apparently when all 8 spokes are connected it forms a magical wheel that when held can locate anybody you desire. Isn’t that crazy??”

“...Stupid magic…”

“Ah…you’re right. It sounds like a load of baloney but I can’t help but worry about it…”

“Magic is all too much real but it contains more foulness than mere sausages. Krankles had tried to dispose of it but again and again the wood survived my fire.”

“You’ve already tried burning it? I-I see. Just imagine that no matter how far you run or what name you choose, a bad guy knows where you are! That’s why I’m in such a tough spot right now.”

Krankles instinctively rubs his forehead. He felt a bruise around there that must be Astro’s fault.

“If I may, Seafoam. Why not turn your blade against the weak fleshy pirates and have them eradicated?”

“Eradicated?? Jeez, if I tried that then call my game over already! I have an easier plan; Get one spoke so the Hallmark’s Helm will never be complete and I can slink away.”

“Then why the worries? Surely you brought that with. Even though it IS mine…in return for bringing shelter and remorse, Krankles can consider this a trade.”

“I don’t have it.” “You don’t. Have it. Is this seriously what you are saying?!”

Krankles scoffs at her. All of that and she doesn’t even have the spoke? She really must be a Rookie.

“I don’t have it because I wanted to save what was more important.”

“Krankles Kart? But it has destruction.”

Suddenly her face was red and she shook her head no. Then what in the world could she be talking about?

“The twins wouldn’t leave you alone until they had what they wanted. There’s eight spokes to a helm, but there’s only one of you. W-What I’m trying to say is…I’m talking about you, Krankles.” 

“I have importance? Krankles? M-Me…? …HAHA! Of course! But we are merely strangers. You outstretch your fingers into a box of mystery by helping me.”

Something just wasn’t adding up. Is she trying to flatter him? Because this shouldn’t be working.

“Haha, maybe the mystery is what’s so alluring to me. I have a feeling you’re more than just a merchant, just as I am a little more than a pirate. It’s your choice, and I know this is all so sudden, but I think I-I’d like to get to know you. And maybe be friends?”

Krankles looks down at the dinner table, like he’s thinking of every possibility laid out on a mathematical grid. Aquamarine fidgets some more but keeps glancing at him with anticipation.

“I am having uncertainty…no fury held against you, as Krankles thanks you for the hospitality. But there is much to be done. Schemes and grand plans must be carefully hatched in quick succession like little eggs laid by a chicken who is evil.”

“Evil chicken…chicken…oh, my soup! Forgot to turn the heat back on!”

Aquamarine gets up to lift the lid to her pot and stirs some…chicken corn soup! She cranks up the heat on her stove and turns her head towards Krankles.

“Back to what you said though—you’re welcome. We definitely got off on the wrong foot and I just want to be like…oh what did you say? You said something profound last night like forces outside your control that determine whether you win or lose, live or die, something like that? While I don’t think that’s completely true, I wanted to be a force of good. Somebody who does something right…for once…” She gets a little lost in the broth, so to speak. Stirring and stirring. “If you need to leave soon, then that’s ok. I’m glad we got to talk again. But would you like some soup first?”

Krankles’ stomach seemed to answer for him in response.

“Chicken Corn sings sweet songs of breakfast into my ears!”

“Technically if anything is singing it’s your tummy!”

His only response to that was the biggest smile. Nothing was in his tummy except MAYBE the tiniest of butterflies. 

Aside from poor presentation…her soup was…good enough. There was a bit more chicken than he would’ve liked personally but it’s no harm. Krankles watched her scarf half of it down in a matter of minutes. He mused that if she’s THAT starved for a good meal, imagine how she’d react to his own cooking. Is this her favorite soup? Or would his classic french onion soup be her new favorite?

“Mmmm! Do youh like ut?”

“Soup is in your mouth still, but yes I am liking it.” Krankles smirked.

“Yay! And sorry about that haha! I hope the refreshing herbs weren’t too much but I figured that would heal you more.”

“It brings a fresh taste of nutrition to your soup, herbs have importance. But I suggest adding them only at the end of your process as it had lost some of the flavor from sitting too long.”

“Oh yeah…I kept adding more because it was losing flavor and I didn’t know when you were gonna wake up. Thanks for the advice!”

An awkward yet happy pause ensues. Krankles finished his soup so this should be his cue to go. Instead he pulls back the curtains that covered the window next to their table.

“W-Where is the ground?!” He grunted with disapproval.

“My stars! That is a LOT OF SNOW!” Aquamarine gasped with awe.

This was a single story home, and the snow almost reached the window. What might cover half of her legs would cover half of his damn torso. Without a floating platform, his kart, or Headgear this will be difficult. She explains that before she brought him home last night, the weather called for a snowstorm. By the looks of it, it’ll take a day or two to melt. He can only imagine how much snow is at Star Hill.

“Man…I hope this doesn’t mess up your evil chicken plan.”

“Not literal chickens, Seafoam.”

“You never know if your local merchant is also a poultryman. I used to know a dentist who's also an artist.” Aquamarine shrugs.

So maybe this pirate is also a comedian? Krankles chucked a little.

“That offer’s still on the table, Krankles. M-Maybe this snow is like some sign to take a much needed break! At least that’s how I see it.”

Well…..there is a lot of snow out there. And it would take WAY more effort than it’s worth to climb up to Star Hill. This house is warm. She’s being so nice too, so how could he pass up on such a good offer? His plans can be set back a few days for this potential…friendship.

“Your kindness is full of mystery, Seafoam. I think I am liking that.”

Krankles holds out his hand for her to shake. Aquamarine smiled as she felt how soft his grip was compared to hers as they shook hands again.

“It’s not Seafoam, by the way.”

“Ah, then I will call you Aquamarine.”

“Well my name technically isn’t Aquamarine either.”

She removes her mask with dramatic flair! That earned a gasp just as dramatic.

“Just call me Minty~!”

They stood in silence for a couple seconds while she put her red glasses on to see. Not that she was expecting him to know who she was, but some applause would’ve been nice. Krankles raises his hands and sighs, trying not to crack a smile.

“Hmph! I said I was enjoying the mystery! Alternate ego shattered. Friendship cancelled. Krankles will exit stage left!”

Minty stammers as he pretends to walk away.

“Y-You’re in my dang house! It would be pretty hard to keep the mystery when you could look at like, any piece of mail that has my name on it. Or the family photos that clearly don’t have Aquamarine in them!”

The merchant peeks from behind the wall, smirking. 

“Alright funny guy…what about you? When do I get to know the bean beneath the hood?”

“Just because you presented so eagerly the cards in your deck to Krankles means that I will fold the same way. Have patience!”

* * *

It was a few hours after lunch, and Minty had given Krankles a short house tour. He was right, this house was VERY new. Apparently her Uncle knew some carpenters, or some of his brothers were carpenters? He forgot the details. Anyways, the house was originally planned for wigglers. She said the landlord is one and he’s super nice despite his rugged appearance. Minty started to rent the house the same time as his conquest, which was interesting. 

Krankles was shown the living room, the kitchen (which doubled as the laundry room), two bathrooms, and two HUGE bedrooms (one was for her and the other was for guests? Four beds in the guest room seemed like too much to Krankles.) The snow was in the way but there’s a front porch and lawn. And then there was a basement that Minty explicitly told him was off limits.

Foolish girl, don’t tell Fawful something that he can’t do! That just spikes his curiosity. But lucky for her the humongous and functional walk-in shower caught his eye first.

“I request to use this shower.”

“...Oh yeah go ahead! Everything you need is already in the stall. Except…!” Minty opens the cabinet and hands Fawful a brand new razor. “This one is yours!”

Krankles ends up declining the gift. It was a nice gesture, but he likes to keep the few hairs he has on his body.

“Oh…your outfit!”

Minty points out several stains in his clothes he wasn’t aware of; especially on his dark magenta cloak that fades into red.

“The gruesome stains and dirt is something I will just have to live with.”

“Aww no! Don’t get clean and go back into dirty clothes! Here I miiight have something you can wear in the meantime so I can get that washed!”

For a pirate, she sure does like to give things away. Minty comes back with a plastic tote full of what he presumes to be her old clothes.

“I give you my thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Krankles! Sorry if this stuff isn’t in your style in advance. I’ll just leave this here for you.”

As Minty closes the door, Fawful is now alone. With that, he starts to undress. The mirror above the sink was too high for him to see his entire body. Instead he grabs a hand mirror to take a good long look at himself and his new bruise on the top of his head. Touching it didn’t hurt, but pressing on it would. His precious, precious brain. At least the damage didn’t go any further than that. 

Fawful never made a wish to be saved at that moment, but he’s glad his game didn’t end to a lowly pirate shark. That would’ve been so embarrassing. Oh and he’s glad to stay here too, he supposes.

The knobs in the shower lacked distinct labeling; but he soon figured out which way to turn for hot water and vice versa. Fawful’s a man who loves his hot showers! Steam and streams of hot water soothe his aching body as he steps inside. He liked that there’s a seat in the shower too. So he sat down as water ran down his back like a waterfall. This felt great! Why didn’t he fix his own shower?!

Fawful’s thoughts kept coming back to Minty and her face…when she would find out about his true identity. How would she react? She seems to like Krankles the merchant, but would her kindness extend to Fawful, evil mastermind? And then there’s that Dark Star laying dormant somewhere…he could imagine that scaring her away. 

Minty…

He keeps twisting the washcloth. Twisting and squeezing and stretching and the soap runs down his legs and now his face is getting TOO HOT!

Pull it together! You are LORD FAWFUL and you could rule the world! Why would HER opinion matter? 

Fawful turns off the water and steps out of the shower to cool off; wrapping himself with one of those blue towels hanging on the wall.

I’ll prove it, I’ll show her who I am right now and she’s gonna LIKE IT.

There wasn’t a lot in that tote that caught his eye. But he did notice a lot of these clothes would be baggy on Minty and looked comfortable. Fawful debated on a few skirts but here’s what he went with instead: A white sweater with a 1-UP mushroom on it, dark magenta sweatpants, and black & white striped socks with fingerless gloves to match. 

Fawful thought he was finished but he saw something red at the bottom of the tote. It felt…soft, like a blanket. He held it out in front of him and noticed it was like a cape! All red, connected by a yellow bow, and has yellow stars at the bottom. It reminds him of the cloak he wore back in his glory days. Except it’s more like a cute, ‘we have Fawful’s cloak at home’ thing. The look was almost complete…but the red-toned glasses were throwing it off. Fawful slooowly turns the rims clockwise making them change colors. He settled on this teal—almost seafoam color that matched a part of his new sweater. With that, he marched out of the bathroom with his towel and old clothes in arms.

“Oh Minty! I will be seeing you now!” Krankles announced with glee.

“Ok! Coming!”

As Minty approached him, he scanned her new outfit. Instead of her pirate gear, she wore black shirt with blue rolled up sleeves. A white scarf snuggled her neck with a three color gradient of red, blue, and green at the end. Her leggings were yellow with teal music and her socks matched her scarf. He thought she looked…nice.

“You look cozy like warm breakfast croissant.”

“Good cozy or bad cozy~?” Minty teased.

“Cozy like Krankles knows why it is your style. Does comfortable even exist in the bad way?”

“...Was that in my tote?”

Minty pinches the cape with her fingers, taking a good long look at it. He affirms her claim and recognizes that stare of nostalgia. But for what reason?

“I must say that looks good on you. You’ve got good fashion taste.”

FINALLY. Someone recognizes his talent!! She took Krankles’ clothes and walked back into the kitchen while he stayed behind to look around some more. With the washing machine turned on, Minty gets back to what she was doing during his shower: making hot chocolate.

It has been a LONG day and she needed something easy to do so she and her guest could unwind. So much to do today with making sure Krankles was alright and making that soup she didn’t have time to sleep! 

Hopefully I’ll be more peppy tomorrow! Then I’ll talk to him about my plush collection!

Something was missing in this drink……duh! Of course! Minty grabs the peppermint candy shaped jar and pulls out her best mini candy canes. She put six of them in her cup after the whipped cream. For Krankles’ cup…she wasn’t sure yet. Only one way to find out!

Krankles was watching the sunset from the living room window as he smelled hot chocolate. Minty sat beside him on the couch, two cups and a jar in her hands.

“Fururu! Which one belongs to me? This one?” He points to the cup with the candy canes in it.

“You like the candy canes…?”

“If you ask Krankles he is thinking there needs to be MORE.”

Minty watched as he opened the jar and put SIX MORE in his newly claimed hot chocolate. He LOVES it?? Krankles blinked in pleasant confusion because she squealed with joy and stuffed some candy in her mouth.

“Peppermint is the best! I’m glad you feel the same way!!”

“It’s a flavor most refreshing! Add the mocha to it and then tastebuds will soar with delight~!”

“AND you’re a coffee drinker! No way! It’s a shame my coffee machine stopped working last week…now I’m in the mood for one…hot chocolate for now though.”

“Krankles had the coffee pot within his Kart once.”

“Yeahhh that…didn’t survive the crash.”

Aside from the soft sips from their cups and the crunching of candy canes; the two sat in joyful silence. Minty was flipping through some channels on the TV, but nothing looked interesting so far. Krankles clears his throat to rekindle the conversation.

“The Blorbs. Do you remember them?” He asks dryly.

“Hm…sounds familiar. Why?” She mutes the TV.

“Krankles mentions rumors of a merchant who had sold Blorb Mushrooms to his customers. Once consumed it caused the Toads to grow in size, and become round! Like chocolate balls full of fun prizes!

“...The inflation incident! I REMEMBER THAT! A Toad almost rolled right into work and destroyed the front door! It’s definitely not a plan that King Bowser would come up with.” Minty flips through a stack of old newspapers and shows Krankles. It was one that dates to almost 2 years ago, titled: THE BLORBS! “I feel bad for the Toads and Goombas, but you gotta admit it’s a LITTLE funny looking back on it.”

Krankles smirked while reading the old article. She kept that? 

“Goombas too? The disease had spread that far like pollen in spring?”

“Yeah, thankfully there was a cure.”

“Hmph…yes the supposed magical Miracle Cure…” Krankles pouted.

“Huh? I thought it was a recipe. Back then my boyfriend called me asking if the giga carrot was still in the woods. Giga carrot…a big onion, and ice that lasted a really long time. Combining all of that made the cure? …Why are you writing that down?”

“The onion and the ice, are they having names specifically?"

“I-I think so? But I don’t recall. Sorry, I made it seem like I was more involved but I just helped with the carrot, that’s all. Why so curious? If I may ask…curiously.”

“I am seeking REAL answers to what had conquered the Blorbs. A new formula if desired could counteract the cure.”

“Are you saying you want to bring the pandemic back??” Minty raises her eyebrows as she sips her drink. What did she just encourage?

“Hm…no, too obvious. It would call too much attention to be drawn towards the one who is me right now.”

Now Minty was starting to eye Krankles with what seems to be a mix of intrigue and suspicion, which he seems to enjoy.

“Funny coincidence that you and him were both merchants huh?”

“Correct~! It has hilarity! Watching your face as it connects the information like attack pieces to a puzzle. Are you remembering anything about the merchant of the past?”

He wraps the newspaper into a tube so she can’t cheat, if it had any information about him at all.

“Not much…I do remember that he took over Peach’s Castle for a while. Not sure about his motive but he did use the Blorbs to keep everyone docile rather than destroying everyone so he wasn’t looking for total annihilation. Key players went missing quickly though. The Mario Brothers and Peach…? I think King Bowser showed up?” Minty couldn’t see it, but Krankles was rolling his eyes when his enemies were mentioned. “I dunno, I never saw the guy in person but I think it was because he was busy weaponizing the castle! THAT was scary. King Bowser was HUGE and fighting Peach’s own freaking Castle! Soon after that everything got dark…and then…that was it.”

“Oh how I wish you were knowing more, but he had formidability and grace, yes?”

“Uh-huh…seems like you knew this guy personally~”

“You could be saying that…he had a name which rings the ears like bells signifying a feast at the dinner table.”

“Started…with an F?”

Krankles nods.

“He hailed from the kingdom next door, Beanbean! Rhymes with…falafel!”

“Wait, I think I know! It’s Faw…aaaw..Fawn! You’re Fawn, right??”

Fawn??? Freaking FAWN?? That doesn’t even rhyme!

At least she got half of his name right? Minty saw his expression and darted her eyes away realizing she was wrong. He held her face softly and grinned to get him back in her sights. 

“The name is Fawful~!” He stands on the couch and strikes a menacing pose. “I dipped three kingdoms into the chocolate of chaos using mind and machinery! Conquest gnawed on my stomach like hunger unfathomable, AND IT HAD TO BE FED!! Oh they all had the weeping, and Fawful was drinking the tears of ecstasy…until he was stopped by two bad men and that Bowser. Fawful HATES them, their hammers and mustaches and fist and flames IT HURTS! But, now I am here! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO NURTURE THE SEED OF EVIL WITHIN YOUR HOME?!”

That…was A LOT to take in for his audience of one. Fawful sits back down in silence, waiting for Minty’s response. Now that she knows who he is…does that change anything?

“Well…it’s nice to meet you, Fawful!”

He tilts his head in confusion. Minty smiles and it feels so warm.

“Oh uh! I think taking care of you feels nice. I don’t mind your history and that doesn’t change the fact you can stay until you’re ready to leave. That would be rude…to kick you out after I said you could stay. It makes sense that you’re a mechanic too after you told me about Krankles Kart! Did you make anything else while you were in the castle?”

“Merchant, mechanic and more! Fawful has many talents. You should have seen the Theater I made from Bowser’s Castle.”

“WHAAA?? What do you mean you made a theater?? What do you mean you took over Bowser’s Castle?? This is news to me??”

“Lend me your ear and I shall whisper to you what makes Fawful the best!”

The two sat and chatted as the moon rose above the trees. Minty eventually found an adventure romance movie on TV as she and Fawful got comfortable.

“The credits are rolling…I had enjoyment! The main characters should have confessed their feelings earlier, though. Not necessary for Fawful to wait though one half of the plot wondering about them…kissing. I say slay your foes first and THEN do the love thing. Is Fawful right or is he right, Minty?”

…Aaaand she’s asleep. He nudged her a little with his foot but it didn’t work. Too cute to disturb, Fawful let Minty rest and instead started flipping channels. Before he knew it he binged a whole season of an old cooking show he grew up with. The entire jar full of candy canes was now empty. Fawful covered himself with blankets and glanced towards his friend one more time before resting peacefully next to her.

-End of Chapter-

The secret base was bustling with life this afternoon as Fawful danced on his newly healed toes. He would catch himself yearning to waltz the bustling halls of a conquered castle once more. To hold every kitchen tool at his disposal with fully working ovens. Oh and ESPECIALLY have unlimited power for his machines. Losing all the luxuries of life could make a weaker man cry. But for Fawful, he’s weaved through the heartache of poverty before. If there’s one thing he can’t stand living without however…it’s his dear Vacuum Helmet. It’s not his first machine, but it was his first invention. Vacuum Helmet 1.0 was a test of his skills to see what if he had what it took to study under Cackletta’s wicked ways. Even now, Fawful still kept his ‘Headgear’. Today was the day to supply power to the new and improved version. Jumper cables were carefully clipped onto the machine.

“Testing of Headgear 3.0 is commencing when Fawful says so. Voltage will be spoonfed to you…NOW! REGAIN LIFE!!”

His teeth chattered with anticipation as the Vacuum Helmet whirred. The jump starter he found last week was doing wonders for the dead battery within Headgear. When the tiny bulbs on the rim of the dome lit up, Fawful quickly disconnected the cables between the helmet and his power source. 

“You are functioning properly, yes?” 

His Headgear mechanically chirped in response, hopping with joy. The new LED screen atop the glass dome shows a simple smiley face.

“Yes! YEEEEES! The whimsy that illuminates from your motherboard brings Fawful many chortles!”

And with that, Fawful leans forward, inviting Headgear 3.0 to hop atop his noggin, like a mechanical moth to his furious flame. The weight on his head felt…quite comforting. He was just about to start another project when a red light started flickering on his desk. It must be time to receive his packages already! He slings a coat over his shoulders and opens the entrance to his base. Tiny floating saucers that resemble his alter ego Krankles come flying through with goodies in their arms.

“Come! Krankopters! Time for the show and tell of this week’s tantalizing collectables!”

Fawful snaps his fingers in a snazzy rhythm the Krankopters recognize, lining up side by side. A lot of this was his usual deliveries, such as the weekly groceries. Two of them managed to snag a whole crate of star candies. Good! Fawful nods in approval and sets them aside to restock the Krankles Kart. He even got a new pair of black trousers from the Toad Town Mall! It’s much more difficult than it needs to be to get something in his size without adjustments. 

“Fawful finds this very satisfactory! Was there anything forgotten?”

The last Krankopter beeped proudly, dropping a long wooden beam into Fawful’s arms. Looks like one of many spokes that could connect to a wheel of a pirate ship. 

“Eugh…K-88. What is this?”

He points the wooden spoke at the lone Krankopter like it was a misbehaving dog. 

“How many times must Fawful tell you…KEEP AWAY FROM THE BEACHES!! Those are where the pirates of badness live! Fawful wants little to nothing at all to do with them.”

Krankopter K-88 is smacked with the spoke, which knocks it over onto the ground. All the others move aside as two flamethrowers protrude from Headgear’s sides.

“You know what to do, Headgear.”

The little flying saucer did not survive the fiery onslaught, but the wooden spoke remained. In fact, it looked unscathed…like the heat didn’t even touch it. Fawful frowns immensely.

“EEYYAGH?! Wood that withstands the fire?? Fawful hates that! Headgear, fire again!”

More bursts of flame started to melt the floor around him, but didn’t harm the spoke. This could only mean one thing: it was made out of some kind of magic.

“Fururu…is this not so wonderful?! Fawful could just EXPLODE! WITH FURY! Magical wood, HA!” Blueprints were flung into the air as he stomped his feet. The robots cleaned up the mess as he brainstormed. “…Ooh…could Krankles pawn this off to the hands of a customer?”

Because he’s got a feeling that the sooner he can get rid of this, the better.

* * *

Crisp winter winds cut through the air like a soft butter knife. Dimble Woods’ trees stayed nice and evergreen, providing shade and shelter to those who reside. Moonlight trickled elegantly between the branches, and the lakes glowed in multiple hues of blue. Krankles was on the move, tagging customers left and right. But so far nobody would buy the magical wooden spoke. They wouldn’t even take it for free! He peered over to the lake beside him, wondering if he should just toss this thing. Out of sight out of mind, right? 

Taking a closer look, the water’s glow reflected Krankles. Or rather, it presented the face beneath the cloak, Fawful. There’s that pure white smile…now shining brighter than his future. And said smile that hasn’t reached his eyes in a long time. 

I feel like a broken record trying to play my latest hits, but those hits were 50 years ago and nobody remembers me. What is the point in even trying to play?

Fawful splashed some ice-cold water on his face to make him snap out of it. Droplets travel down his neck and onto his back, causing him to shiver. His thoughts are silenced and his ears are open.

As it turns out…the gentle ambience of the lake, wind, and trees were quite calming. As he lifted his head to enjoy the sounds, he saw a human woman on the other side of the lake. That mask covering her eyes sparkled against the light, and her hair was teal that faded into white.

Seconds pass, and neither say a word. Expressions blank, but with hints of intrigue. Krankles swallowed, about to speak…but watching her step into the water caused him to hold his breath. The lake was about to surpass her knee-length boots, but her gaze did not falter. Not a single chill went up her spine as she continued to walk. It was like witnessing a resolute force making her way across the lake and he didn’t know if this was a good or a bad thing. Willing to take his chances, Krankles took this as a sign to set up shop.

Red bar stools were presented to his latest customer, and she took her seat with grace. It looked like she wanted to speak, but didn’t know what to say.

“A new face? I say to you…welcome to the Krankles Kart!”

As Krankles strikes a pose, the masked woman seems pleased, grinning ear to ear. She plays with a strand of her hair.

“Wow…! Sooo…I’m guessing you’re the man of the hour right? The Krankles of this Kart? …Hahaah of course you are what am I saying–the name’s Aquamarine! Er, MY name is Aquamarine!”

The woman (apparently her name is Aquamarine) holds out her hand for him to shake. This…wasn’t what he expected. But honestly, he’s had weirder customers. Her grip was firm as he only shook her hand once.

Hm…has she heard of me? Or perhaps…my presence is just THAT glorious she’s in awe?? 

“Tch, if not Krankles, who else would run this establishment with such vigor? Consider yourself acknowledged, Seafoam.”

Aquamarine (now nicknamed Seafoam, apparently) tilted her head with a confused smile. Krankles spared a moment for her to look at the shelves behind him, to see if anything catches her eye. But it seemed like all she wanted right now was Krankles himself.

“I hope you don’t mind if I ask you more questions…! You’re like one of those traveling merchants, right? Is this your first time here in the woods?”

“Hm? Yes, Krankles travels as far as those puny eyes of yours can see. For I have seen many Kingdoms…but I have familiarity with this one. High potential for trading and…other things! But emphasis must be placed on the platter called travel, for Krankles is quick like the wind during a tornado of fury.”

“Aw that’s cool! Not gonna lie I’ve always wanted to see what’s beyond the border myself. I’m just…busy. I guess…”

“Tch, I cannot imagine what must be stopping you. The water lake did not halt our meeting.” Krankles mutters, wondering where he put his mini coffee pot.

“It’s a little more complicated than that, and I wish it was that easy. It feels like I gotta trudge through all of freaking Urchin Shoals just to accomplish a goal of mine these days, and even then you can still slip on a rock and eat a mouthful of water.”

“Welcome to the life that is mine…trudging through uphill rivers and climbing up the waterfalls! That is but Krankles’ daily tasks.”

“Climbing up a waterfall huh? Is that the same logic as falling up the stairs? Well…when the odds seem impossible…that’s when we can DO the impossible. Y’know?” Aquamarine flutters her eyes from beneath the mask, leaning closer to him.

Krankles stared off into space, remembering the aftermath of the Dark Bowser fight. He did survive despite quite literally exploding himself on command. How this explosion caused everyone to escape Bowser’s body still baffled him though. Gentle knocking on the counter brought him back to the present.

“Deep in thought, Krankles?”

“Yes…it was nothing much. Your words are ringing true, almost. There are forces filled with such NASTY outside the realm of control who dictate your victory or defeats, living or dying. No matter how hard-working, or how much overtime you are clocking in for schemes…”

Krankles started to rub his temples, trying to keep his emotions at bay. His customer wasn’t saying much, but her expression was taking note of it all.

“I think I get that…did something happen?”

“U-Usually Krankles would tell his life story, but it is long. With complications. Let’s not speak of Krankles…let us speak of the Kart! For you are its customer!”

“Oh…yeah! Yeah alright…I definitely wanna buy something!”

The product lineup was quite frankly discombobulated and overwhelming like the merchant himself. There was probably one of everything…but that single ‘everything’ one might need is incredibly hard to spot. Krankles pulls rags out of a Christmas stocking and wipes his head, hiding the sweat his ailment was causing.

“Really dunno where to start…could you help a gal out Krankles? What do you think I would need?”

“Fururu! Not to worry Seafoam, Krankles is always eager to guide the lost little customer who pleads so cutely. A sword is placed at your hip, yes? Then perhaps you desire this?”

From the back shelves, he pulls out a wooden sword, coated in little damage marks. Aquamarine’s eyes lit up with astute recognition.

“Oh! Well, I’m very flattered you thought about a sword for me. Buuuuut that’s not really what I’m looking for. I’ve got plenty of training swords at home, sorry.”

“T-Training…sword?”

There was a hint of embarrassment showing from beneath his hood.

“Now that I’m looking at it closer…you didn’t happen to find this today, did you? Looks like it’s made from the same wood as these trees.”

Krankles holds the sword out and it matches the patterns of a nearby tree. Aquamarine nods and puts her hand on her chin.

“Thought so! I was wondering where that one went after I…a-anyways didja know that the small branches here in Dimble Woods are VERY flexible? I would know, considering I’ve accidentally smacked myself a couple times trying to break em with my hands. Hurts like heck…but hey the trunks are pretty good material for training purposes.”

“Hmph. Welp, to me it was a simple wooden sword of simpleness. I will search for something better.” 

Krankles threw the training sword behind him so carelessly it knocked over a crate of star candies. Now, it was her turn to be embarrassed. Except he recognized that glint of anger beneath her blush.

“Dude! What the heck?? That was my sword!” Aquamarine huffed and waved her arms around.

“Finders keepers, losers weepers! Whaaat, because it was yours that means you claim the rights to free entitlement?”

“N-No, that’s not…that’s not the reason why I’m upset.”

She takes a deep, long breath.

“Okay, what if I said I thought a two year old could build the Krankles Kart?”

And Krankles in turn, turned absolutely red in the face. 

“You are to take that statement back, and SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR PIE HOLE! Krankles Kart is my most prized possession of beauty! Its schematics are like the deluxe cheese that pours down the fountain of dedication and tears! The press of a button can transform the shop into a suitcase for even easier transport and THAT IS FACT!”

With all the hand movements and teeth grating he’s doing, any normal person would excuse themselves to run away and never look back. But Aquamarine stands her ground and gives him that same unwavering stare like the moment they first locked eyes.

“And see…I think that’s what has me so drawn to you.”

“...What???”

“L-Lemme finish what I’m trying to say, Krankles…! Your shop, my sword, we’ve both got our passions for our craft. The sword I have on me right now…it’s my pride and joy. Her name is The Life Saver.”

She draws her blade and eagerly presents it to the merchant. Right now Krankles is speechless and just trying to process the fact that she’s not picking a fight with him.

“It’s the very first one I made! Well okay to tell you the truth my uncle helped me with it since he’s got some experience as a blacksmith…b-but I’m…..going off track here. Thank you for the recommendation, but you can keep the training sword, Krankles. I’m sure someone else needs it more than I do, and as a merchant, you need your profits. But just remember some things are more than what they seem on the surface.”

Aquamarine’s tone was soft and sincere. Her eyes reached out to Krankles more than anybody has reached out in a long time. Her shoulders sink as she adjusts her mask, to keep it and her feelings from slipping most likely. Fawful can relate to that. Fawful can relate to a lot of that, actually.

“You…are full of the surprises, Seafoam. Like a high five filled with fresh cold water on my cheeks, it shocks but it also has relief after. Do tell Krankles you will become his regular customer.”

Those fluttering eyes of hers return, and her voice trails off as if she’s in a dream. Her smile was a treat. This time it was Krankles who moved closer to her.

“...You said you travel a lot…and also I haven’t even bought anything from you yet…how am I a customer…?”

“I have declaration that you have purchased my attention~ But in actuality buying a product would have niceness.” Krankles hums playfully.

“Hehehe! Now I wouldn’t want to break your heart by leaving empty handed, would I? Okay, lemme try that again and see what you………have there…”

Something must’ve caught her eye. Following her gaze, Krankles pulls out a slim box full of tall, unorganized trinkets. He wheezes as he pushes it to the front of the shop…he had meant to display these earlier but then time slipped away from him. Krankles’ curiosity is at an all time high.

“There’s no way…” Her hands trace the handle of the wooden spoke from within the box. Red flags were starting to wave in Krankles’ head as Aquamarine held the spoke in her arms. “It is!”

“Stop, Seafoam.”

He used his reacher-grabber to take his item back. It made her flinch, like someone took away her favorite toy. He furrowed his brow, analyzing her with suspicion.

“Your eyes starve for this item when no customers before would grace it with the second chance glance. You are needing this? …I am wanting to know the reason.”

“U-Uh…well…I’ve been looking for something shaped like this to use…for an…art project…?” That lie was so bad it made him recoil in pure disgust. She’s definitely hiding something and he doesn’t like that one bit. 

“LIES! LIESLIESLIES! Tell Krankles the truth or you will be shooed away like an unwanted lunch tray!”

“I-I-I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad–I just really n-need it because it’s one of the eight–!!”

Almost like a strike of lightning, a spear tears through the side of the Krankles Kart, barely missing the merchant himself! Aquamarine yelps, drawing her sword.

“Krankles! Are you ok??”

She was met with silence…he seemed fine, but was too busy looking at the weapon that almost ended his game. Two voices groan in frustration from nearby bushes. Aquamarine gets up and points her blade towards the noise.

“Who goes there?! Show yourselves!”

“Just us, rookie.”

Two humanoid sharks walk through the bushes like they were nothing. Both wore bright bandanas around their necks and were in uniform. The taller of the two held his axe while dressed in deep shades of pink and purple. Meanwhile the shorter one was dressed in shades of red, missing her weapon. Strange looking star symbols were buttons adorned to both their vests. Their presence immediately filled the air with the scent of the salty sea. To say Aquamarine went pale is an understatement.

“Gyro?! Astro?!” She could feel a glare of absolute pain and evil coming from the Krankles Kart.

“PIRATES!!”

Krankles screamed from the top of his lungs! A lever was pulled, which activated the security system! The bar stools were put away, tripping his customer. Alarms blare as mechanical machines resembling the merchant start to circle Aquamarine and the two sharks. Krankles’ cloak moved with the wind; he held his ray gun tight and aimed it towards his foes.

“Your plan fell through the dirty cheesecloth! I spit and laugh upon this pathetic set-up! After our last encounter, Krankles wears his surprised face as the shark twins show their ugly mugs!”

“I see your stupid toys got bigger, Kranky! Still gonna tear ‘em to SHREDS!” Gyro flashes her fangs, eager to brawl.

“The plan is just beginning. If you give us the artifact now, then perhaps we won’t put you out of business.” Astro points his fin at the wooden spoke he’s holding.

“HAH! You bargain now, after the attempt on my most beautiful life?! Speaking further will only waste the foul breath of a nasty such as yourselves. But…then there is Seafoam. Listen to Krankles.”

The tip of his ray gun is centered towards her face. 

“Y-Yes…?”

“I have a vision, your opportunity to even odds and right some wrongs! Scurry over here for a fresh change in career! He will fill your pockets with many rewards!”

He and the sharks stare Aquamarine down like she was prey. She showed no fear in her poker face, thinking about his offer. An offended Gyro smacks her on the back of the head.

“Girl, SERIOUSLY?! You’re a Stygian Star!”

“Don’t abandon ship.” Astro sneered.

“Ow OW! C’mon guys, you say that like you have no faith in me!” Aquamarine tried to restore her composure, choosing a defensive stance. “Sorry Krankles…but you have what we need.”

“HMPH! FINE! Aren’t you just the rotten apple of the stupid bunch?! NOW IS WHEN YOU WILL FEEL THE BURNING WRATH OF KRANKLES!”

Shots were fired, and shields were raised. All hell breaks loose as weapons and steel clashed in the face of combat. Lasers from Krankles and his Krankopters danced across Dimble Woods as if it were a lightshow. Aquamarine rolled onto the dirt to evade the attack. The long blade of her sword created some much needed distance between her and the bigger robots. Meanwhile smaller Krankopters crashed to the ground by a swift swing of Astro’s axe. This left room for Gyro to dash towards the shop. Tch, Krankles wasn’t going to let some lowly crewmate get the best of him. Putting the pedal to the metal, the Krankles Kart revs on its electric motor. All terrain wheels moved without mercy, and he was satisfied upon hitting that shark-shaped bump on the road.

“Bro! C’mon! GRAAAGH!” Gyro growled as she held onto the back of the Krankles Kart for dear life. She ain’t leaving without her spear and the wooden spoke. 

“I’m on it!”

“Me too! Just as soon as we can clear these guys out! Ready, Astro?”

More floating saucers and even some big greenish variants of these robots with mechanical hands approach Aquamarine and Astro. She was already cooking up a plan, meanwhile her co-worker scoffs.

“Clear the way.”

Jabs from her sword poked several Krankopters from above, just as instructed. Astro saw an opening to jump through the horde and never look back as he ran after his sister and his foe. Aquamarine kept slashing, waiting for a new opening…but no. She couldn’t remember the last time they actually worked together as a team and this was why. 

“What the hell happened to ‘don’t abandon ship’…? You’re a Stygian Star, she says! Suuuure guys!”

Her entire body shook from pain as she was whacked from robot to robot like it was a game of pinball. But it’ll take more than a couple bots to take her down. She manages to snag one of the saucers using her white fabric belt like a lasso. Fueled by fury, she swings the poor thing around, bashing the metal skulls of the other machines. Aquamarine made sure every machine was downed before weaving through the trees. It wasn’t long until she caught up with all the ruckus.

“I will feast on the main course of well done SHARK MEAT! I HAVE THRILL!”

Krankles picks up the pace as he twirls and swings his hips to dodge the onslaught of Astro’s axe and Gyro’s spear. He points his ray gun at bizarre angles just to poke at the twins. The Krankles Kart is on automatic steering, but it can only move so fast with all the trees and bushes in the way.

“Just stay put!”

Astro just couldn’t pin the cackling man with the shit-eating grin down. He tried trapping him against the railing but the beanish slipped away. Of course it was like Krankles was made outta butter except for his hands, which kept hold of both his gun and the spoke.

“Nahhh don’t worry! I’ve got a great idea!”

Gyro manages to put her slimy fins on the steering wheel, taking control of the shop. That grin of his faltered real quick, and suddenly she was trying to shake a crazed merchant off her back.

“Nonono! MY SWEET KART! Surrender the wheel, KRANKLES COMMANDS IT!”

Everything starts to go absolutely out of control! Gyro couldn’t keep ahold of the wheel, Krankles kept bruising her with the spoke, and Astro was casually flung out of the shop as the kart almost went sideways. Alarms shrieked profusely but both drivers didn’t know why until it was too late.

-CRASH!!-

Krankles’ body bounced and rolled on the ground as the Krankles Kart collided with the tree. He could barely keep himself upright as he watched everything he collected fly across the woods. His foods, explosives, even that damn magical spoke, all out of reach. His heart wrenched as the Kart’s engine whined in agony before shutting down. Before his emotions got the best of him, Astro was already on his toes. 

“Nowhere to run, beansprout.”

He tried to use one of the surrounding trees as a shield to Astro’s incoming attack, but then that blasted woman’s voice rang in his head. 

Didja know that the small branches here in Dimble Woods are VERY flexible?

Just when the shark was about to bite the hell out of the beanish, he pulled a flimsy branch back. Astro expected to tear into flesh, but instead his lips felt the sharp sting of wood. The swelling on his mouth came immediately as he recoiled.

“GUHK—FUCK!”

As the merchant tried to make a run for it, Astro managed to grab his cloak and pin it against the trunk. Their faces were only inches apart, each trying to burn holes in the other’s soul. Krankles just smiled more and more, not letting up.

“Tch…you are deserving of that pain and more…fink-rat…”

Oh how it would bring the pirate shark so much joy to tear his face apart, but he lost his axe in the crash. The only thing that’s stopping him from beating Krankles to death was Gyro’s weak cough coming from the Kart. For now, he bashes Krankles’ head against the tree, knocking him out cold. Checking on his sister was more important than a mere merchant.

* * *

Aquamarine’s eyes lit up with fire as she witnessed Krankles and Gyro crash into a nearby tree. The force of the wreck shook nearby branches, one of which she was perched on. There was only one thing she needed and one thing alone: the artifact. She kept an eye on where the wooden spoke landed, waiting for the right moment.

Smoke filled the air, and some things were lit aflame by the destruction. Gyro climbed out of the remains of the Krankles Kart…the front of it was completely destroyed, but the back of it was kept mostly intact. Astro was right there to prevent her from faceplanting.

“Welp…that should’ve gone better! At least it’ll be easy to find that spoke since it uh, y’know. It won’t be on fire at least. You didn’t happen to find it yet did you?” Astro shook his head no.

“Shit. Alright whatever. UGH!”

Gyro turned around and lashed out on the Krankles Kart with her spear. ‘It’ll be easy to find’ is her way of saying Astro’s gotta look for it while she’s having her tantrum. At least the Rookie kept her head on her shoulders…speaking of her…

Aquamarine squealed softly and pumped a fist in the air! Woo! She found the wooden spoke beneath some sticks, quickly scooping it up in her arms. The twins have no idea! She can walk away scott free!

But…

She saw Krankles…and knew deep down he would be done for after they were finished destroying his beautiful shop. This is the part she doesn’t get about being a pirate, really. Krankles was in the way, sure. She’s plundered before. But a lot of things in this world are precious, like the people in it. Aquamarine closes her eyes and puts a hand over her chest. Brain says take the spoke and run but her heart is saying something else.

Now if only there’s a way to distract Gyro and Astro…

There was something else in the branches that caught her eye…it was a shiny green orb. It looked like it had the face of Krankles, but slightly different. And hey, she couldn’t say no to pressing the shiny red button on top. It starts…ticking?

Oh, this must be a bomb. OH IT’S A BOMB. OKAY.

Aquamarine had to think fast! She rolls the bomb away like a bowling ball…it was just far enough away to mean no harm to anybody.

Gyro and Astro were none the wiser as the flames nulled their hearing and sense of smell. And then all at once, BOOM! Flames and smoke go hand in hand as a part of Dimble Woods is now a mere burned hole in the ground. What the hell?? Was that a leftover robot?

The masked woman used the explosion to mask her footsteps. The wooden spoke was tossed aside as she used both arms to scoop up the merchant, making sure he was safe. Sliding down a slope to escape, she nervously bites the tips of her hair.

“DUDE, I JUST WANNA GO HOME! I SWEAR if the rookie let one measly toy get away for US to deal with I’m gonna–oh wait!! There it is!” 

Gyro eagerly picks up the wooden spoke. She smirks and places her spear and spoke on her shoulders. Astro merely rolled his eyes and picked up his axe.

“Like I said, easy~ AND HA! Bro you look like you kissed a cactus!”

“MMmh. Shuh. Uph.”

Gyro took one last look at the destruction they both caused and beamed with pride. Meanwhile, Astro was pissed that Krankles went missing. His only conclusion was that the explosion woke him up and he ran for the hills.

“Huh…I wonder if the rookie survived all that.”

Astro silently jabs his sister with his fin, trying to send the message.

“Gahaha! That tickles! You’re probably right, if she’s a real Stygian Star, she’ll get back up. And if she does it’s not like the boss will believe her story over ours anyways when we bring back a part of the Helm. Can’t stand in the way of the Compass Twins!”

She saw his injury as an opportunity to talk his metaphorical ear off as they both walked away from the crime scene, leaving a bruised Aquamarine huddled next to an unconscious Krankles.

-End of Chapter-