#kozma

Fucked up and miserable, I sat at my desk staring at nothing. Doing nothing. Continuing to waste time. And suddenly, my gut twisted and I broke out in a sweat.  I couldn’t make sense of any of it. And, as I fell out of my chair I lost my stomach. There was nothing in it, so it burned... And I coughed. As I picked myself up off of the ground, the world shook and I stumbled right back down. Vision blurred... Throat raw... A scream ripped through the air. Was it mine? I didn’t think so, not yet at least. It seemed so loud that it came from inside my head. Perhaps I took it too far. Ruined my antidote. Waited too long. What had I done wrong?  No, this felt too different. But, I couldn’t get myself up anyway. 

How long had passed before I finally got myself back on my feet? I couldn’t be sure, but everything seemed significantly more normal then.

I pushed out of my office and headed down the hallway to see nothing. And hear nothing. It was so dark that I had to feel along the walls. And any time I shouted out for someone, no one sounded back. Was I alone? The students? Where was everyone?

As I passed the stairs that led to the basement, I felt an unfamiliar chill and it made me pause. What could that have been? And when I looked back, I saw nothing down the steps. Still, for some reason, I felt compelled to climb down the stairs... One after another with my hands trailing the walls. And with every step, I felt more and more uneasy. Every passing moment my body screamed for me to turn back but this newfound sense of morbid curiosity propelled me forward.

Was this our basement?

No, I’d been down there before. It couldn’t be. Where was the furnace? The tables? Who was... that..? 

I stepped forward to see a man hunching over a rusted metal desk, and the look returned when he twisted at the waist to meet mine was shocking. I stumbled back to see my own face. Crazed. Exhausted. Immeasurably high. Desperate. That wasn’t me. It couldn’t be. And then he said something to me that I couldn’t understand. 

I asked it to repeat itself over and over but I couldn’t even hear myself as I tried. And as I slowly realized that something was very seriously wrong, I sprinted back for the stairs. I had to get out. Though, as I reached the top of the first set of stairs it felt like every sense drained and my world went black. 

...

The last thing I remember is her silver eyes staring down at me like she was judging me. I didn’t know what for. I didn’t really care, either. The rain pelted my face and I rolled away from it, vomit on my shirt and my pants riding up between my legs from when she must have been dragging me up the steps. 

Tired and frustrated, he leaned back away from his desk and groaned as he pressed his palms against his eyes. "Nothing is working," he said softly to himself.

As he took in a steadying breath, he picked up his tools again and hunched right back over his desk. After a quick sip from a beaker -not a cup- to his right, he got back to work. A moment of weakness for many more moments of strength. His hands moved mechanically as he measured a drop of crimson to witness its reaction to a ground up version of a strange looking plant he hardly messed with. It was largely poisonous, but at that point he grasped for anything on his shelves to measure responses or lack there of.

But, as he deposited the blood onto the dust and gently stirred with a metal rod, his eyes moved away from his little experiment to a few plants Miya had brought to his office.

He ignored the fizzling in his marble bowl as he rose from his desk chair and made his way to the tainted plants, fingers gently grazing the tender leaves and branch. And then his shoulders dropped as he looked right back at the fizzling, drying mixture in his bowl. "I am an idiot," he said with a brimming hit of realization.

Foltvarrás tetoválás tengerész témával Sailor Jerry stílusban