❛ you can tell me if something is bothering you. ❜
john jacob scoffs despite himself. it isn't as though the words coming from rafe weren't from a genuine standpoint. maybe, that was the point; that the facade kept to maintain the idea of them being at odds with one another was beginning to weigh on him. his hand reaches up to sweep back the fallen strands of his sandy blonde hair, thumb then brushing the tip of his nose whilst tongue rests gently on the swell of his bottom lip; hissing in air for a moment. he's not even able to make eye contact with rafe. " no, i– " john jacob begins with a forceful step forward, cutting himself and his movements short whilst a hand knots in the air; his frustration palpable. " see like, that's– that's the thing, right there, " he gestures towards rafe now, eyes blazing with the emotion rippling through him. words that were harsh and abrupt are now softer as his hand drops down to his side. " i can't. not outside o' these four freakin' walls anyway. "
the tightening in his chest worsens, jaw clenching as that dropped hand reaches to clutch at his shirt as though it could soothe the pain that radiates there. why couldn't any of this be simple? why couldn't he be simple? the lack of understanding that would come from the others, the sense of betrayal that they would feel; how long the both of them had kept their family in the dark. john jacob was beginning to feel the world spin. the hole that had been unintentionally dug out of fear and protection for what was sacred, was beginning to grow too large to simply crawl out of. " and you know what, man? i ain't got shit on how to fix this one, i really don't, hell, for once jj maybank's got no plan, " he holds his arms out in a notion of surrendering, backing up a few steps towards the back porch. if anything was going to clear his head for a moment it was a stiff drink and something to smoke. anything but facing the sheer vulnerability and fear that he'd laid bare to someone he was beginning to fall deeper for than anyone else he'd ever met. he had no plan, and for the first time john jacob found that the stakes were too high. " you're up, cameron. "
