#knixe

"The crowd was squeezing me. The tunes of the songs made us move in a uniform wave. No one could escape it. Here and there... Our hands touched... And when our gazes met, we could admire the deeply felt pleasure of the other.

The rough sounds and lyrics of the punk-rock music made me fall into a trance. We went crazy. I forgot when was the last time I felt this blissful. I was sweaty, beaten from the moshpit, beers were spilled on me. Sensations overwhelmed me, it was too real, too good.

Music was the cure for my emotions. It reflected my pain and grief, and it reminded me that I am not alone. It made me feel understood."

"I die here with you today... I feel like I am changing... I feel like I am forgetting who I was before your death. I am becoming berserk, I feel only anger and hate. I can only focus on the bottomless pain...

I... Must... Numb... The... Pain. I thought I got used to it, but it bites into me, more and more, while I slowly lose track of who I was. It will shatter me into so many pieces that there will be no coming back.

It might be easier to succumb to the change... I didn't feel the pain when I raged, when I frantically clawed Arlo's face..."