#kixraily

i don't believe in love and maybe it's because he gave me more than i would ever deserve or because you gave me none. Maybe it's because I thought I had given you all I had but I realize now why I never said "i love you". I never said it because not once has anyone said it and i actually got those "butterflies" or whatever they are. maybe it's because i've watched my parents bicker, threaten divorce, etc. maybe it's because my mom's calm and doesn't care when i ask why she puts up with him and the things he's done. Maybe it's because my mom is only worried about her health and not my dad's or anyone else's. Maybe it's because whenever my dad's out having fun my mom doesn't give a shit and doesn't make sure he's okay when he hasn't returned. Maybe it's because I watched my sister's "lover" physically, mentally, and emotionally harm her. Maybe it's because I never felt "loved" when I was growing up. I feel like love has lost its meaning. it's a stupid thing, really. you devote yourself completely to one person, your whole life revolves around them. and then one day, they just....leave or maybe it's you who leaves. don't get me wrong I love my friends and my family but falling in love? only ever having feelings for one person? being faithful and devoting all your love to one person? bullshit. so, no, i don't believe in love. it's a waste of time.