#kitty.doc

The transition from warm, autumn-y hallways and dim lighting to blinding white snow and a rush of cold is almost enough to make Nic stagger back a few steps. He stands and shivers for a second as the door to the Ruins slams shut behind him with a complete and utter finality. This is it. There's no going back. And he's only just realized that the striped shirt he had borrowed from Amalia probably isn't enough to keep him from getting frostbite.

There's a long path stretching out in front of him, lined on both sides by tall pine trees that stretch up into the mist. He has to take a moment to remind himself that, yes, he's still somehow underground (although he can't for the life of him work out why or how there's actual snow down here), and then he forces himself to start walking even though every horror-film-taught inch of him is screaming at him that this is a bad idea. In a movie, this would be the point where he, the unnamed, oblivious bit character, would get mauled by the ten-story high monster made of shadows and poison. And Nic Silver may be many things, but he is not the victim of a plot device.

A few minutes of walking later, nothing has happened and he's almost begun to relax- and then a twig behind him snaps.

He pauses; glances quickly back, notes that there's nobody there.

"Great," he mutters, and starts walking faster, trying to reach the gate he can see in the distance.

Snap. Nic speeds up again, practically running. He reaches the gate and realised that it's locked, and is just about ready to bang his head against it in frustration when a tall shadow falls over him.

Nic stares at the wood of the gate, completely frozen in fear. Oh god. Oh god. Nothing friendly would ever lurk in the shadows of the forest and menacingly snap branches and cast ominous shadows over random strangers, it's going to eat him. What if it eats him? He's going to die. He's going to-

"Boo."

Nic screams at the top of his lungs, and spins around, flailing wildly.

"Whoa," says the guy standing in front of him, stepping back. "Are you-"

"Oh, thank god, I thought you were some kind of monster for a second," Nic babbles for a second "-wait, were you stalking me?"

"Dude." The guy's staring at him. "I am a monster. We all are, down here."

"We all-" Nic stops, trying to catch his breath, and remembers what Amalia had said just before he left the Ruins. Just because this guy doesn't look like he's about to immediately kill Nic on sight doesn't mean he can't be dangerous. And if he's a monster- then what sort of monster is he?  "Right. Of course. Sorry. Forgot for a moment."

"It's cool." The guy's still studying Nic. "You came from the Ruins?"

"I- yes."

A curious sort of half-smile curves over the guy's face, and Nic instantly feels guilty for lying to him. "Huh. Never met anyone from the Ruins before. You going anywhere?"

"Yes," Nic blurts, and a moment passes where the two of them just sort of stare at each other, both waiting for the other to speak.

"That's cool," the guys says slowly, with a quirked eyebrow. He doesn’t look like he’s about to kill Nic, but then again- appearances can be deceiving. "Want to tell me where?"

"Uh- yes. Tanis. I'm going to Tanis." Nic twists his fingers together, hoping he doesn't look too out of place. "You wouldn't know where it is? What direction, I mean."

"Yeah, I know Tanis. It's a while away," the guy says. "But I can show you the way to the nearest town. You'll probably be able to find some information there."

"Great!" Nic grins in relief, and sticks out his hand. "I'm Nic. Nic Silver."

The man shakes it- his grip is firm and strong. "Geoff Van Sant. Nice to meet ya. Come right on through the gate- I know it looks like it's locked, it's not."

"Oh," says Nic, and then proceeds to follow Geoff- his new friend? - through the gate and further down the path. He glances back and notices that their footprints in the snow have all but disappeared already despite there being a distinct lack of snowfall in the general area.

"You're going to have to be careful, if you're looking for Tanis," Geoff warns him after a couple of metres of walking.

"Careful?" Nic hurries to keep up with the taller man, sneakers crunching awkwardly through the frost. His feet are soaked and frozen, but he's warm inside with the thrill of a mystery to solve and the possibility that he might actually solve it.

"Yeah, some people are really… well, touchy, I guess is the word. You know. Conspiracy nuts." Geoff makes a gesture towards that Nic takes to mean you know the sort. "After Tanis was discovered, the incident with the fallen humans happened, and it was blocked off to the general public, a lot of people got very obsessed with it. Seemed to be convinced that there was something behind it all."

Nic wants to ask about the 'incident', but is afraid that showing his lack of knowledge might expose him. "Really? What sort of people?"

"You don't know?… oh," Geoff scratches his head. "Right, you're from the Ruins. Well, I don't really keep track. I think some sort of cult was formed in Waterfall, and the Royal Scientist hasn't been the same since… well, you know. And," here a scowl develops on his face, "well. There's my brother."

"Your-" Nic's innate curiosity is bubbling up inside of him, and he's about to ask the obvious question when he sees the look on Geoff's face. It's dark and cold and almost filled to the brim with sadness.

"...okay," he says instead, with a lack of anything else to mention. "That's very interesting, thank you."

"Is it?" The new look that Geoff shoots him is almost surprised. "That sort of thing's normal around here."

Nic feels a sudden surge of something he can't pin down, and suddenly can't contain himself any longer. "...normal? Geoff, this place is extraordinary. The people here are amazingly kind and the most unique of any that I've met, and this place!" He gestures around himself; at the snow and the roof that he knows is there but can't see. "It's… it's magical. Everything is so new and excellent and I don't know how I ever saw anything as wonderful before it! How can you say it's normal?"

Geoff has stopped in his tracks and is now staring at Nic, who is feeling increasingly uncomfortable and a little hot around the ears after that outburst.

"...compared to the Ruins, I mean," he says lamely, backtracking, and blinks in surprise as he sees Geoff- well, there's no real word for it but flicker, he kind of sort of… becomes transparent for a second? He isn't sure if he really saw it or if it was just a trick of the light, but it causes him to stop and stare back at Geoff, resulting in an awkward few seconds when they're both just standing there, looking into each other's eyes.

"You've only been out of the Ruins a few minutes, dude," laughs Geoff, breaking the silence and averting his eyes quickly. "Maybe save the dramatic speeches for after you've met somebody other than me?"

Nic laughs too, grateful that attention is now being drawn away from his slip-up. "Yeah. Maybe. Sorry."

"No prob. I always enjoy being told that I'm amazingly kind and unique." Geoff winks at him, actually properly winks, and starts off again, leaving Nic standing, startled in the snow for a few seconds before he catches hold of his senses long enough to scurry after him. "Not too far now 'till we get to my sentry post."

"Sentry post?" Nic's now scrambling for information. Information's good, and more importantly, distracting. "You're a sentry?"

"Sure am." Geoff sticks his hands in his pockets, looking casually proud of himself. "Semi-official basis. I'm supposed to be looking out for any humans that wander around here."

"Humans?" Nic manages to force out after a short moment of panic, hoping it doesn't show in his voice.

"Yep. Ridiculous, isn't it? Like any human would be stupid enough to wander right down the main path and get caught by me." He shrugs. "But then again, the King comes up with the craziest shit."

"Yeah. Sure is crazy. Hahaha." Nic hopes he sounds casual, but he never was much good at acting. He wants to ask about the King, but now would actually be a really awful time to do that.

"I don't think I'd recognize a human if it walked straight up to me and introduced itself." Geoff tips Nic another wink, and he's just standing there in shock because either he's much better at pretending to be a monster than he thought, or Geoff is just really, really oblivious.

(Or faking it. It wouldn't be the first time that somebody had messed with him and he hadn't got the hint.)

And then Geoff does the flickering thing again, and this time Nic's sure he didn't just imagine it because for a brief second, he could see the clear outline of a skeleton underneath Geoff's skin, like he had suddenly gone completely translucent all over. The effect fades quickly, leaving Geoff looking quite embarrassed and Nic just staring again.

"Sorry," he says. "That… doesn't usually happen around strangers.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking- incredibly- embarrassed. “Magic’s annoying sometimes, huh?"

Nic has more important things on his mind. "Holyshityou'reaskeleton."

"Nic," says Geoff with utmost patience. "I'm pretty sure everyone is a skeleton. You know. Deep down."

"But-" And oh great, his hands are doing the flappy thing that he thought he had grown out of in high school. "-skeleton?!"

"You're acting like you've never seen one before." It's Geoff's turn to stare now. Nic, under the layers of immense freak-out extraordinaire that he's currently feeling, takes the time to note that he's acting remarkably blasé about it before he realizes, oh yeah, he's probably been a skeleton monster his whole life. (Life? Death? )

"I haven't!" Nic says, and then commences upon doing the most unconvincing backtracking he's ever done in his life. "-there's no monsters like you in the Ruins, I mean! They're all, um, different sorts of monsters. No, uh... skeletons."

"Uh huh." Geoff's face is blank, so very blank. "So, uh, what sort of monster are you, then?"

"What?"

"Fire magic. Secretly seven hundred spiders in a stripy shirt. You know."

"Um, right." Mentally, Nic berates himself for not seeing this coming, and casts around quickly for a decent explanation. "I'm a, um… I'm a Dalek."

"A Dalek?"

"Yeah." Do they have Doctor Who down here? Is that a thing? "When I get mad, an eyestalk bursts out of my head and my voice starts to grate menacingly."

"Whoa." Geoff's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Does that happen a lot?"

"Not really." Okay, cool, he's buying it. "I'm pretty calm most of the time. But when I'm not, you should see me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm all like, exterminate and you will be assimilated-" oh shit, wrong TV show. Maybe he's getting into this a bit too much. "-well, anyway. I look pretty normal otherwise. Like you."

"That's good." They're walking again now, side by side along a snowy path. Nic's eyes occasionally dart in the direction of the forest around them, where he swears he can see weird shadowy figures moving around in the darkness. He tries his hardest to ignore them, and focus on Geoff, who's just as- if not more- interesting.

"Good?" he wonders aloud. "Why?"

"Oh, it's nothing really," Geoff says, and shrugs slightly, the movement tired. "But until you told me about your species, I almost thought you might be a human."

Nic tries his best to laugh this off. "What, me?"

"Yeah, like I said, nothing. Doesn't matter now, right? But if you were a human, there might be trouble."

"Trouble?" Nic really doesn't like how ominous that sounds.

"Yep. My brother's around here. Probably up ahead at the station, waiting for me."

Nic tries to rewind and remember what Geoff had said about his brother before. He remembers the reference as being very vague, almost in passing. "Um…"

"My brother's a fanatic, " the monster informs him, slightly too cheerfully.

Nic pauses, trying to gauge Geoff properly. "...a human-hunting fanatic?" he offers after a second.

Geoff laughs sourly. "Nah, just a fanatic."

A few seconds pass as Nic attempts to configure a response to this, and then there's a bend in the path up ahead and they're standing in a clearing, and-

"Geoff!" yells a voice- loud, clearly used to yelling- from next to the sentry post that's been constructed at the edge of the entrance to the next part of the paths. Nic jumps on the spot, but Geoff only lets out a small, defeated sigh that serves only to make him seem much smaller than he actually is.

"Hi, bro," he says, tiredly.

A bundle of rage and anger in a red cape comes storming up to them both, and Nic takes a defensive, instinctive step back. "Don't hi, bro me! It's been at least five days, and you still haven't checked the recordings!"

"I didn't need to, Karl," Geoff says. "I've been here the whole time."

"That doesn't matter!"

The newcomer- who Nic assumes, based on the evidence, is Geoff's brother- is shorter than his sibling, with glaring, suspicious eyes and what seems to be a permanent twitch in his right hand. The family resemblance, however, is hard to ignore- especially the flickering. Karl Van Sant seems to switch between being humanoid and literally being a skeleton every five seconds, and appears to almost vibrate with anger at the same time. The effect, overall, is startling, especially when compared to Geoff- who seems much more sedate.

"If we don't check the recordings," Karl is continuing, seemingly ignoring Nic's presence completely, "we might miss something important! Do you know what's in the forest, Geoff? Do you?"

"Tanis?" offers Geoff, without enthusiasm, and Nic barely suppresses a slight twitch. So Geoff does know more than he's letting on.

"We won't know!" shrills Karl- and yes, that's the only word for it, he's practically screaming by now. "Not unless we look!"

"I've been watching the forest for days, bro. Not a twitch," Geoff says. "Just the Grackles. You know. Like usual."

"They're involved, I've told you before!" Karl snaps, clearly exasperated. Nic feels like he's intruding on some sort of private moment, but can't quite bring himself to tear himself away. "There's something going on, Geoff, you can't deny it!"

"I can't," Geoff admits, and adds so softly that Nic only barely hears it, "not to you."

Karl glares, and flickers to skeleton, and glares some more, this time with empty eyesockets where his eyes should be, and then swings around, finally noticing Nic. "What's that?"

"It could be a rock?" Geoff suggests, with such a lack of emotion in his voice that it takes Nic a second to realize it's a joke.

"That's not a rock!" Karl screams. "It's a human!"

"That's not a human, bro," Geoff says. "I'm pretty sure it's a rock."

Or maybe it's not.

Karl swings furiously between Nic and Geoff for a few moments, during which Nic tries to make himself look as unobtrusive and rock-like as possible.

Karl finally gives up. "You're right," he says, utter sincerity in his voice. "It's a rock!"

Geoff nods. He looks sad. "Yep."

"I'll be up ahead!" Karl says, swinging around. His red cape flutters. It looks torn and jagged, and like it hasn't been washed for months. Humanoid, then skeleton, and back again. "And check those recordings!"

"I will," Geoff says, and he and Nic watch as Karl storms and stumbles off and out of sight. They keep on watching until there's nothing left to see.

"Is he…" Nic starts, unsure.

"No," says Geoff, and he looks tired, really tired. "Not, he's not. I- I don't know what to-"

Flicker. Quickly skeletal, and then back again. His mood changes at the speed of light, or maybe he just buries his emotions beneath some finely-constructed layer of faux-cheerfulness. "I hope you don't mind. You look a lot like a human, and… well. I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea."

Nic, for once in his life, senses that pushing this topic would be a bad idea, and instead just nods.

"Okay, so," says Geoff. "The town's about a kilometre from here."

"Town?"

"Yeah, I'm assuming you want to get to Snowdin?" When Nic makes a small noise of unsure assent, he nods. "There's an inn, and a bar, and a library up there, it's a bit warmer than out here in the snow. I can't freeze to death, but you sure look like you might."

"Yeah, that… does sound good," Nic admits. "Do I just follow the path?"

"Straight through the forest," Geoff confirms. "If you see the Grackles, jut ignore them."

Nic nods, not daring to ask what 'the Grackles' are, and he takes one step forward before pausing. "-you're staying here?"

"Well, yeah," says Geoff. "Sentry duty, you know." He grins, flickers into skeleton and back quicker than Nic can process. "But I'll definitely see you around."

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah. We can meet in town- or I'll bump into you later."

"Yeah?" Nic repeats, now grinning. He likes Geoff. Geoff has that sort of irresistible personality that just draws in- he seems easygoing and just sort of- cool. Easy to be around.

"'Course."

Geoff waves him off with a slight flicker of his outline and when Nic glances back a few metres later, he's disappeared without any sign that he had ever left- no footprints in the snow leading away.

Nic finds himself looking forward to seeing Geoff later, and he grins to himself again, bundling his sweater tighter around himself.

"I'm Nic," says the man with the messy hair and bright green eyes, swivelling around to give Richard a genuine, beaming smile reminiscent of a golden retriever. "I, uh, sometimes partner up with Alex."

"But usually he teams up with us!" calls a man from across the room, who's cradling a beer in one hand and he claps the shoulder of a woman whose fingers are dancing across thin air- and blue light- in front of her. She pursues her lips, and shoves him away from her with a movement that's both playful and forceful at the same time.

"Move the hand if you don't want to lose it, Geoff," she says lightly, and quickly turns her attention back to whatever she's doing.

Richard nods at this, eyeing the two of them for a moment, and then looking back at Nic. "If you don't mind me asking… what sort of magic do you three have?"

Alex raises an eyebrow at this- and judging by her expression, asking about somebody's magic so suddenly is borderline taboo. It looks like he's made a mistake, and he doesn't feel much like apologizing.

Thankfully, Nic doesn't seem to mind. "I'm a Celestial Spirit Mage," he says, and reaches into a pouch at his belt, pulling out a ring of keys. "I'm- well, I'm pretty much useless in hand-to-hand combat, but-"

"Too damn right you are!" comes another yell from the man across the room.

Nic grimaces. "Okay, there's no need to rub it in."

"There's plenty of need to rub it in!" continues the man, who Richard has now surmised is 'Geoff'. He seems just on the sober side of drunk, but not in a disruptive sort of way. Just kind of. Loud. "Remember the cultists?"

Nic groans, drops his head to the table where it lands with a clunk. "Yes. Yes, Geoff, I remember the cultists."

"And the tea?" Geoff is now leaning accusingly across his table, folding his arms. "We can't forget about the tea."

"We don't talk about the tea incident," interjects the woman, who's doing a very good job of looking as if she's not paying any attention whilst simultaneously maintaining deep engagement in the conversation.

"If we don't talk about the tea incident, it's going to happen again!" argues Geoff loudly. "History repeats itself!"

Nic just groans and flaps a hand vaguely in their direction. "Oh my god, shut up, you guys." He turns back to Richard. "Celestial Spirits can be summoned to this dimension if I have a contract and the corresponding key." He flips up a key with an indent shaped a bit like a bird's foot on it. It's bright, shiny silver, like it's been polished many times. "This is Corvus!" He beams down at it for a second, and then frowns. "I can't summon them today- it's not on the contract. But when I do, they can come and help me with… things."

"Things," says Richard.

"Yeah, they're a flock of birds." Nic tilts his head slightly, and then shrugs. "Crows, or ravens, I guess. They can lift me up a fair way, scout out places from above. Sometimes they even fight, if they feel like it. It's hard to tell with birds, you know?"

Richard eyes the rest of the keys. There's five in total, with only one being a bright gold and the rest being silver, like the Corvus key. "And the rest?"

"Ah, well…" Nic reaches out a finger, and taps on each of them in turn. "Cetus, Pegasus, Ara, and this one," his smile turns fonder, "that's Pisces. They're my only Golden Gate key."

"A Zodiac constellation?" Richard asks, having noticed a pattern with the other keys. "Does that make it special?"

"I guess?" Nic shrugs again. "I mean, maybe it makes them a bit more powerful, but really- who knows?"

Richard nods, satisfied. "And I suppose you can gather more keys, through various means."

"I buy mine, mostly," Nic replies, "but Pisces was a gift. Um." He turns to Geoff, and flaps a hand vaguely in his direction. "Care to explain yours?"

"Sure," Geoff shrugs, and rises easily from his seat. He's a lot taller than he looks- easily tall enough to rival Richard himself in height. He blinks a couple times, and then inclines his head at Richard. "Okay, try to fight me."

Richard just blinks. "I'm sorry?"

Geoff's smile grows wider. "Fight me. Try to land a punch or something, I don't mind."

Alex's laughing softly in the background, not really making any sort of sound, but her body is shaking in mirth. "Go on, Dr Strand."

He glances between Alex and Geoff, who are both clearly finding something extremely funny, then over to Nic, who's folded his arms and laid his head on them with a smile that clearly says he knows something. His keys have been inexplicably packed away when Richard wasn't watching, but he dismisses that as unimportant for the moment. It's when he glances at the woman still working at her screen of magic on the table that's been abandoned by Geoff, and he notices that even she is smiling with barely-concealed mirth that he folds his arms across his chest and gives an answer.

"No," he says.

The side of Geoff's mouth twitches downwards. "Aw, really?"

"Evidently it's funny enough that you're challenging me to a fight." He gestures around himself. "There's got to be a reason why there's no way I can win. It's likely that the result, had I decided to fight you, would have been quite embarrassing or amusing."

"Spoilsport," Alex says teasingly. "Okay, Nic, show him."

Nic sighs, and gets up, facing Geoff. He sways back and forth for a second, before suddenly ploughing straight forwards and directly into Geoff, who stumbles back a step as the full weight of an awkwardly-proportioned Celestial Spirit Mage . Going off the look of surprise on both their faces as Nic sprawled to the ground in a tangle of legs and arms, Richard surmised, this was not the thing that was meant to happen.

"You gotta come at me with ill intent, dude," Geoff says with a frown as Nic gets up, brushing himself off.

Nic screws up his face. "Okay, okay, um… you're a jerk for calling me weak! Rrgh!" He makes feeble fists with his hands, and everyone in the vicinity promptly laughs at him. Even Richard cracks a smile.

"Pathetic," calls the woman across the room. "You need to do it like this." She snatches up an empty beer mug with one hand, weighing it, and turns around for the first time. She glances at Geoff over the top of her sunglasses, smiles sweetly, and pitches it, hard, in his direction.

About half a metre from Geoff's head, where it was aimed, the mug seems to bounce straight off an invisible forcefield. It changes directions rapidly, and collides with the ground at high velocity, shattering into millions of pieces.

There's scattered applause and a few groans, and somebody exclaims indignantly; "I've got to clean that up!" but Richard is impressed despite himself. "Some sort of shield?"

"Pretty much," agrees Geoff, sitting down again. "It's always active, even when I'm sleeping, and pretty much impenetrable if you're trying to hurt or kill me. I mean, there's some ways of getting around it, but-"

Nic slides up next to him easily, and grins evilly before going straight for his stomach with outstretched hands. Geoff's sentence is broken off as they both collapse into giggles.

"Not in front of the new guy!" Geoff protests, but Nic is relentless.

"Yeah," concludes Alex after it becomes apparent that they're not going to stop. "And then there's MK."

'MK' waves from her table. "Hello, yes. That's me. Who wants to know?"

"I've heard of Archive magic before," Richard says. "I don't need it explained to me."

MK presses her lips together again, like she's trying to stop herself from smirking widely. "Oh, is that so?"

Alex is grinning again, and she nudges Richard with the back of her wrist. "You might want to rethink that. MK is, not to put too fine a point on it, a genius."

"First off, I prefer the term 'Information Specialist. Second of all, well…" MK holds her hands up to the interface she's been working at, actually grasping it like it's a solid object, and flipping it around to face Richard and Alex. "Archive magic is all well and good, but I felt like it could be improved." She taps at the screen, and blue-green symbols go flying across it. "I've created my own O.S. to work from, and I've developed a couple of new apps that can improve its use."

"'Oh Es'?" Richard's brow furrows. "'Apps'?"

"Operating system,  applications," MK explains. "General terms used by those in the Archive community. Don't worry about it too much, you'll probably never hear those abbreviations again. But hey, want a demonstration?"

Richard glances dubiously over at the participants in the last magic 'demonstration', who are still tickling the hell out of each other. MK quirks an eyebrow, and pushes her sunglasses up her nose. "I don't bite, Strand. Here, catch."

He only has time to give her a quick nod of assent before a blue disc comes sailing in his direction, and only barely manages to catch it. He holds it up, and examines it. "What is it?"

"Portable manifestation of my magic." MK's holding up an identical disc, and she taps at it for a second. "Okay, we got a connection. Say hello to the other side of the room, Strand!"

He frowns in confusion, but looks down at the disc. He's surprised to see an exact projection of MK's sardonic features, displayed in minute detail.

"I call it 'Skype'," she says.

When she talks, he can simultaneously hear her voice coming from across the room, where she's present physically, and from the disc. There's only a very slight delay between them. The effect, overall, is astounding.

"It tends to work especially well when some moron in our teams says something like, 'hey, we should split up!'," she continues. "Keeps us in touch, you know?"

"That was literally once!" Nic complains.

"You could have died, Nic," Geoff shoots back.

MK looks at Richard through the interface, and gives him an unreadable look. "After the incident that Nic here probably doesn't want to talk about, I developed this. So now if one of us is going to die, the rest of us can now see the gory details in real-time, and they don't have to die alone."

Richard isn't quite sure if this is a joke or not, so he just nods. MK's sense of humor- if you can even call it that- is a bit hard for him to get a hold of. "If you don't mind me asking," he starts, and then trails off.

"Go on," Alex prompts.

"Well, you stated before that the three of you," he indicates MK, Geoff and Nic with a hand, "work together frequently. And judging by the sorts of things that this guild has a reputation for, I assume that 'working together' often involves fighting people and things."

"That's right," Alex says with a nod.

Richard frowns. "It seems to me that the three of you aren't quite… shall we say, compatible?"

Geoff stiffens, and maybe Alex does too, but it's hard to tell. Nic, however, sits up, and places his hands, outstretched on the table. "Okay, I'm trying my best not to be offended here, but- um, maybe explain?"

Richard sighs. "I meant  no insult, and I do apologize. I simply meant that your particular skillset is… well." He nods at Nic. "Although you do have some offensive capabilities, they seem to be constrained by your 'contracts', which limit you to certain days of the week, and in the short time I've known you, you and your friends have reiterated several times that you're not a fighter. Although, er, you," he nods at Geoff, "seem to have quite a powerful means of defence, you have no visible attack to speak of. And the interesting use of Archive magic is certainly useful, but I don't see how it would do much good in a combat situation."

The three of them exchange glances for a second.

"I mean, he does have a point," Geoff says after a moment. "He could have worded it better, but…"

"Oh good, the jerkass has a point," MK says, rolling her eyes. "Everything is all right now, obviously." She stands up, dispelling all of her screens with a casual flick of her wrists. "Listen up, Strand. Magic isn't the only way of winning a fight." She reaches underneath the table, and pulls out a thin leather sheath, throwing it roughly onto the table between her and Richard. It thumps as it hits "Know what this is?"

He eyes it. It looks like a sword. "It's a sword."

"Wrong," she snaps. "It's a modified Épée." She pulls it out of its sheath with a satisfying-sounding grind of metal, and holds it in one hand with the blade pointing to the ground. "Normal Épées bend easily, and mainly get used when rich fuckers want to show off. This," she holds it up, as if to prove a point, "has been strengthened, sharpened and could probably cut your head off in one slice. I carry this around because it's lighter than most other swords, and people tend to estimate a girl with a weapon that's usually used for mock duels."

"This is a backsword," Geoff adds, unsheathing his own from a large bag that must be bigger on the inside, if it's able to contain a sword that large. "I have no idea what people usually use it for, but it can do a lot of damage."

"And the entire guild has agreed that we shouldn't, under any circumstances trust Nic with any sort of short-range, non-magical weapon," MK concludes. "At least, not until he apologizes to Carly about nearly taking her head off."

"She's avoiding me," Nic complains.

"We can take care of ourselves," Geoff says, turning to Richard. "Other members of the guild sometimes join us if the job  looks difficult, but that doesn't happen often."

"Usually the sight of MK is enough to scare any attacker away," Nic says with a sudden grin.

MK doesn't even glance over at him as she almost casually holds a middle finger up in Nic's direction. "Fuck you, Silver. You'd be dead a million times over if I wasn't around to save your sorry ass."

Nic laughs, crossing his legs as he turns again. Sometime during the last couple of minutes, they've all arranged themselves so they're congregated around one small table. "You wouldn't have to save my 'sorry rear end' as much if you'd actually teach me how to fight."

A slow, terrifying smile curves across MK's face. "Are you asking me to fight you, Nic? Because I can and will fight you, given half the chance."

Nic suddenly looks intensely worried. "...please don't hurt me."

"Geoff," says MK. "Go find a job for us while Nic and I discuss just how much he'd have to pay me to not kick his ass."

Geoff snaps off a quick salute in her direction and makes a hasty retreat towards the request board. "Gotcha!"

Richard watches them for a second- bickering, laughing, happy, then turns back to Alex, who's doing the same. "Miss Reagan-"

"Alex," she says, "please."

"Alex," he says cautiously. "I'd like to apologize. That was... rude of me."

"It was," she agrees with a small laugh, "and you should honestly be apologizing to them. But yeah. I get what you mean. They don't look like they could take on anybody more powerful and survive, do they?"

Richard frowns, tilts his head. "But can they?"

"Who knows?" Alex shrugs, as Geoff returns to the table, a scrap of paper torn off the board in hand. He begins to speak to MK and Nic in a low voice, and they both lean in, visibly interested. Alex scratches her arm absently for a second, looking thoughtful. "Hey- want to see how the request process works?"

"I-" Richard begins. "-yes. That would be… good."

"Come on, then." Alex stands up, and they join MK, Nic, and Geoff at their table. Alex takes a seat, looking comfortable in their presence, but Richard hovers awkwardly a few feet away.

"What's up?" Nic asks with a small smile.

"Dr Strand was wondering how the request process works, and we were hoping you guys could walk him through it," Alex explains, with a small flap of her hand in Richard's direction. "Hey- come on over. They don't bite."

"Speak for yourself," MK says with a small snort, but lays the paper scrap on the table in front of Richard as he cautiously approaches. "Okay, so this is basically how it works. Anybody with a certain amount of money can pay to have a request put in the guild of their choice. Sort of like Craigslist."

"'Craigslist'?" Nic asks, looking confused.

"Archive magician thing, don't worry about it," MK sighs. "Anyone who's in the guild can take a request, but they have to consult with either the guild master or somebody acting in place of them first. You can't just go running off on a job with no warning. For example," she taps the request in front of her, "this."

"'Seeking Tanis, runner available'," Richard reads, peering over his glasses. "Two million jewels." He frowns. "That's very vague."

"Yup." Geoff pops the 'p', and grins. "Which is kinda unusual, usually they're a lot more detailed than that. But hey- two million jewels! Money is money!"

"So how do you know where to go?" Richard asks, eyeing the sparse sheet of paper. It doesn't look like it contains any further information.

"Well, we talk to one of the guild masters," Nic says, and gestures towards the bar counter, where a girl with glasses and her hair pulled into a high ponytail is reading a book, frowning slightly. "Or Carly, who's in place of them at the moment. She'll probably say yes, if she's not annoyed at whoever asks, and then she'll give us more details."

"I'll do it," Geoff volunteers. "She's not annoyed at me."

Nic sighs. "Look-"

"Yeah, yeah, dude, we know, you didn't mean to swing that sword at her head." Geoff crosses his arms. "However, the fact still stands that she'll probably smite you if you try to file that request."

MK rolls her eyes. "Just get on with it. And maybe don't try to flirt with her this time, or you'll be the one on the receiving end of that smiting."

Geoff leaves with a huffy sort of flounce that's entirely unsuited to somebody that's as physically imposing as he is. It looks like it'd be more suited to a teenage girl.

"Carly's girlfriend is missing," Alex says to Richard. "Geoff didn't know when he first met her, and Carly forgave him, but nobody will let it drop."

Richard frowns again. "I see."

She grins, and he sees that she realizes that he really doesn't. He thinks it's nice of her to explain everything to him, even while he's being his normal self- distant and almost cold.

"Guild masters?" he says instead of voicing this thought, putting emphasis on the plural. Alex nods, crossing her arms.

"There's two of them- Terry and Paul," she explains. "They share the responsibility, I guess? Except Paul is pretty much invisible all the time." She frowns. "And I mean that literally. I don't think I've actually seen him for about a month. Oh, and Terry does Transformation Magic," she adds. "Specifically, Nic."

This is a complete non-sequitur, and Richard is completely baffled. "Nic?"

"He can transform into literally anything," Alex says with a frown, "and I mean literally anything. He's insanely powerful. He could probably rule the country if he wanted to." She pauses and sighs. "But guess what he does instead? He turns himself into a mirror image of Nic Silver, and walks around the guild, messing with us. It's completely impossible to tell them apart, they even sound alike. And what's worse, I'm pretty sure Nic's in on it as well."

"I see," says Richard again. He doesn't, and Alex recognizes this once more, smiling at him.

"Yeah, we're a pretty eclectic guild."

Geoff returns, looking triumphant. Richard risks a glance back at Carly, and, true to form, she doesn't look like she wants to smite anybody in particular at the moment. "We got the job!" Geoff announces, exchanging a slightly awkward fistbump with Nic, who looks like he's not quite sure what he's meant to be doing.

"And now," MK says to Richard, looking utterly deadpan. "We go off on yet another suicide mission, with absolutely no regard for our personal health and safety. Hooray."

Geoff grins and claps MK on the back, opening his mouth, but before he even begins to speak, she grabs his wrist, and twists him easily into a headlock. He blinks from the hold, looking slightly bemused. "I was going to say; how about we meet at the train station at noon today? But if you want to kill me first, I'm fine with that too."

"Any reason for your collective morbid sense of humour?" Richard asks, echoing Geoff's bemused expression. MK laughs sourly.

"We're all depressed pieces of shit, and this is our coping mechanism," she says flatly, letting Geoff of her grip, and nods in his direction. "Midday sounds good. I'll go get packed." She stands, gathering her blue magic in front of her. "See you around, Strand. Alex looks like she likes you- maybe she can keep you."

He blinks, and she's gone, the hem of her loose shirt whipping around the doorframe.

"I guess I'll go pack, too," Geoff says, stretching. "Nice to meet you, Dr Strand."

Richard inclines his head, not sure how to respond, and watches as he leaves too, leaving just him, Nic and Alex behind.

Alex pats Nic's arm across the table, and meets his gaze in a oddly serious manner. "Be careful."

"I will be," he laughs, and pats her hand in return, standing up. "Don't worry about me. MK'll beat the shit of anyone who looks threatening."

"Cultists," she calls after his retreating figure. "Don't forget the cultists, Nicodemus!"

"I wish everyone would!" comes his returning cry, and then he's gone, and it's like the world is just Richard and Alex once more. Alex smiles at the doorway briefly, and then returns her attention back to Richard. 

"So," she says. "What do you think?"

Richard takes a moment to think about this, staring around at the guild, with all the people gathered into groups, and the bright atmosphere. He doesn't believe in auras, but if he did, he would think that the entire area glows with welcoming energy, and Alex Reagan most of all.

"I think," he says, "that this is the perfect guild to take a request from me."

"Oh?"  She looks confused, but mildly pleased as well.

"Miss Reagan," he says, and allows a genuine smile to crack across his face. "I would very much like it if you would help me track down somebody very close to me."

.

.

-0.05

There's two men outside the bar, just kind of loitering on the street. They're kind of steadily avoiding eye contact, and maybe pretending that they're not waiting for each other.

This could take a while.

-0.02

The shorter one finally initiates contact. It's almost like watching a nature documentary. He goes up to the taller one, introduces himself as Nic, Nic Silver. The taller one eyes him for a moment and then says that he's late. Nic says what, as in the late Nic Silver? and laughs in the manner of somebody who's told that Douglas Adams joke many times even though it might be getting tiresome. The taller one looks a bit stunned for a moment- then laughs too, although it sounds a bit forced.

-0.01

The taller one introduces himself as Geoff, Geoff Van Sant, and corrects the spelling of his name at least three times before Nic finally gets it. I know who you are, says Nic, and oh god does that sound creepy that seems like it sounded a bit creepy, I didn't mean it like that, you called me remember?

Geoff laughs again. It's not as forced this time.

0.00

They enter the bar, and order two beers before sitting there in silence, eyeing each other up. Actually, Geoff's doing most of the eyeing. Nic appears to be completely oblivious to the fact that Geoff is attempting to figure out whether he's a threat or not. Geoff appears to be completely oblivious to the fact that Nic is completely oblivious.

0.01

Nic starts recording.

0.04

The beers have arrived. Geoff downs half of his in a second flat. Nic sips at his.

0.05

Nic explains about the message and Tanis in one minute or less. Geoff considers this.

0.06

There is a long, awkward silence.

0.07

The long, awkward silence prevails.

0.08

Nic stops recording.

0.09

Geoff is thinking about every way to kill a man using nothing but his bare hands. Nic is thinking about Tanis.

0.10

Geoff is thinking that Nic doesn't look that dangerous but also that's no indicator of actual danger. Nic is thinking about Tanis.

0.12

Geoff is thinking that Nic's actually pretty cute and it'd be really terrible if he turns out to be an assassin. Nic is thinking about Tanis.

0.15

Geoff is now considering his empty beer glass and wondering if it would be rude to go and order another one. Nic is still thinking about Tanis.

0.19

Geoff has returned from the bar with two extra beers. Nic decides to break the awkward silence, which has reached impressive levels. Do you have any family? he says. My brother died last month, Geoff says. Oh shit, Nic thinks.

0.20

The awkward silence returns with vigour.

0.22

Geoff is thinking about how politely he can make an excuse to leave and if it's actually worth being polite. Nic is thinking that Geoff's brother's death might actually be connected to Tanis and that it's probably a really bad idea to bring that up.

0.24

Nic brings it up.

0.26

Nic is now sitting alone at the table, with two unfinished beers and a fuckton of regrets. Geoff is outside, leaning against a wall and staring at nothing, and thinking about what a mistake this was.

0.27

Geoff considers going home.

0.29

Nic emerges with a beer in his hand, and offers it awkwardly to Geoff. He apologizes very quietly and for a second Geoff just stares at it.

0.32

Nic and Geoff have reclaimed their table, and are now settled once more, making surprisingly non-awkward small talk. Geoff is thinking that Nic's cute but almost dangerously awkward. Nic is wondering what Geoff knows about Tanis.

0.35

The non-awkward small talk becomes markedly more awkward when Nic asks about Geoff's romantic life. Geoff stutters for a second before making up an imaginary girlfriend on the spot. He thinks he might have imagined the disappointed expression that crosses Nic's face, but can't be sure.

0.45

Things are going swimmingly. Nic and Geoff have migrated to a table in the corner of the bar and have continued with their discussion of inconsequential things. Nic is telling Geoff about his work at Pacific North West Stories.

0.46

We're the premier radio station in the Pacific North West, Nic is saying. Geoff is frowning, and wants to say that he's never actually heard of them but this is nice and interrupting the conversation would be rude at this point.

0.52

Geoff has now dismissed the possibility that Nic is an assassin and now is beginning to wonder if he's attempting to kill him with ridiculous amount of nice. Nobody's talked to him like this for years, not even Karl.

0.53

Geoff goes silent for a while as he thinks about Karl.

0.54

Geoff orders another beer.

1.00

It is now the one hour mark, and neither Nic nor Geoff show any signs of moving. Geoff is wondering if this counts as a date, or if he's being too forward. Nic is wondering how he should introduce the topic of Tanis back into this conversation.

1.04

So I mentioned my podcast, Nic says- that's like radio for the internet, by the way, did I say that? Geoff nods, makes a go-on signal with his hands.

1.05

No, says Geoff, no no no, absolutely not.

1.07

The long, awkward silence makes its triumphant return.

1.09

Sorry, says Nic. Geoff is now wondering if that thing where he makes all apologies look so heartfelt and cute is a Canadian thing to  or just maybe a Nic thing. It's cool, says Geoff, want another beer?

1.16

Okay, says Geoff after another beer, maybe. You'll have to tell me more about it first though.

1.29

Nic and Geoff are now huddled in the corner together, conversing in low voices. The bartender has pulled out a notebook and is now making a shipping chart. She is debating if she should text her friend cute pictures or if that would be an invasion of privacy.

1.32

Probably not, she decides after a while, and then sends about twenty.

1.33

Nic and Geoff have no idea that they have very recently become a local OTP, and are still engrossed in conversation. Geoff is thinking that maybe he should tell Nic he's actually single, but is quickly realizing that might involve letting slip that he hasn't had any prolonged human contact for years. Nic is very excited that somebody who isn't Alex is interested in Tanis.

1.36

The conversation slips away from Nic's podcast and moves back to romantic entanglements. Geoff is shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

1.38

Nic is just buzzed enough to let slip the fact that his sort of kind of ex girlfriend might actually be possessed by a demon. Geoff nearly spits out his drink.

1.40

Nic is now telling Geoff about Dr Richard Strand. Apparently does marvellous impressions.

1.53

The bartender's hands leap to her heart when she hears Nic and Geoff giggling, and she immediately starts posting to her Twitter account. Unbeknownst to any of them, these images will be trending by early the next morning.

2.00

The two hour mark has been reached. This is only slightly less impressive than the fact that neither Geoff nor Nic have noticed that they've been here for that long.

2.02

Geoff orders pretzel sticks. Things seem to be going great.

2.05

Geoff is thinking that he might have finally figured out his sexuality. If anybody had been listening in, it would come as absolutely no surprise to them to find out that Nic is still thinking about Tanis.

2.07

Geoff decides that spending overhead of two hours drinking beer with a complete stranger elevates Nic's status to at least a level ten friend. He begins to recount his tragic backstory in hushed tones.

2.10

The bartender begins to text a friend who interns at the local radio station. Within minutes, the two of them are discussing whether their client and boss are fucking or not. This is simultaneously awkward and thrilling. Neither Geoff nor Nic will ever know.

2.19

Nic, too, decides that Geoff is, if not level ten, hovering somewhere around level eight (which is several levels higher than Meerkatnip is currently) and decides to share his somewhat less-than-tragic backstory, which involves weed brownies at college and a very nice girl called Patricia.

2.21

Geoff is wondering if there's any polite way to ask how straight Nic is. Nic is wondering if there's any polite way to let Geoff know that he thinks he's cute.

2.24

Nic excuses himself to the bathroom. Geoff spends  the entire time that he's gone fiddling with a pretzel stick and staring at the door that he left through.

2.28

Nic returns. Geoff's smile is bright enough to penetrate sunglasses.

2.31

Nic brings up Meerkatnip, and Geoff tries not to look disappointed.

2.32

Geoff finally plucks up the courage to ask if Nic and Meerkatnip are dating, and Nic's response is such a loud giggle that half of the people in the bar look up in surprise.

2.33

No, but she keeps telling me that I should drop hints that we're fucking on the podcast, Nic explains. Her words, not mine, he adds. Geoff laughs and says, you gonna do that? Nic shrugs; laughs again- maybe in season two.

2.34

So when do I meet her? Geoff asks after a moment. Nic stares deep into his mug for a moment. Moments before she's about to kick your ass, probably, he says.

2.45

They order more beers.

3.00

The three-hour mark has passed. They are now nearly drunk enough to attempt Charades.

3.14

They are now exactly drunk enough to attempt Charades.

3.16

The game ends abruptly when Geoff tries to act out Dr Strand, and ends up walking into a wall.

3.24

Geoff asks if Nic wants to go back to his place. He's now nursing a bruised face with an icepack pressed to it that the bartender kindly supplied. Nic thinks about it for a couple of minutes and then shrugs. He's fine here; maybe later.

3.30

Geoff is thinking about how he actually wouldn't mind if Nic turned out to be an assassin by this point, at least now he can die happy. Nic considers thinking about Tanis, but ultimately decides to think about Geoff instead.

4.00

Four hours in. Nic has no regrets. Geoff has many regrets, but none of them are related to this current situation.

4.05

Nic suggests a round of Mornington Crescent. Geoff googles this on his phone and then agrees.

4.06

The game of Mornington Crescent is indefinitely postponed when both of them realize that they're far too drunk to remember any sort of London street names, much less make up rules as they go.

4.10

Nic pulls out a notebook and colored markers and invites Geoff to help him rewrite the entirety of the US Constitution.

4.23

Nic and Geoff have now constructed a system of government that actually works far better than any actual government ever will. Neither of them will remember this tomorrow, and humanity will not discover this accidental work of art again for nearly three hundred years.

4.30

Nic falls asleep at the table. The bartender muffles a squeal, and posts a picture to her Twitter account. Her follower count is slowly increasing. Soon her account will have gathered enough fame to reach verification status.

4.43

Geoff inadvertently wakes Nic up by knocking an empty glass to the ground where it shatters, and apologies profusely. Nic says it's fine.

4.44

For the next fifteen minutes, Nic waxes poetic about his socks, mattresses, and some sort of postage service for no apparent reason. He sounds like he's advertising something. Geoff doesn't know what happening, but he thinks it's kind of cute.

5.00

Five hours have now passed since Nic and Geoff entered the bar. The bartender is cleaning the table next to theirs, pretending she can't hear a word of their highly personal conversation.

5.11

Geoff and Nic are no longer having  a highly personal conversation. They are, instead, throwing around various ideas for what Tanis might actually be. So far they've decided that it's probably not any of the Greek or Roman gods or Amalia Chenkova.

5.13

Nic suggests that Squarespace Dot Com is behind everything. This seems plausible enough, so they both order another drink.

5.15

Geoff puts the final touches on the Constitution Mark 2, and they both sign their names at the bottom.

5.17

It turns out that Nic is very cuddly when drunk. Geoff usually doesn't like hugs, but- okay, come on, it's Nic.

5.19

The bartender's Twitter account has gone viral.

5.30

Nic falls off his chair, and decides to spend the rest of the night lying on the ground. The bartender is wondering if posting videos of strangers on the internet is illegal, and if it is, how much she actually cares.

6.00

Nic and Geoff simultaneously realize that it's now midnight, and they're the only ones left in the bar except for the bartender, who's still sleepily liveblogging. They look at each other and silently decide never to mention this on the podcast.

6.02

Nic and Geoff exit the bar, and exchange numbers, before making arrangements to meet up tomorrow. This probably doesn't count as a second date, they both are thinking. Neither of them will ever know that this thought was shared.

6.03

Nic calls Alex to drive him home.

6.10

MK’s programming a search algorithm when she feels somebody’s fingers in her hair. Her first instinct, of course, is to flinch away and possibly break the arm of whoever’s doing it, but after a moment she sighs and relaxes, very slightly. 

“Nic,” she says without halting her typing. “What are you doing?”

“Braiding your hair,” he mutters, pausing. “Do you-?”

She considers telling him no, telling him to get the fuck away from her hair- but okay, this is Nic. What’s the worst he can do? 

“Knock yourself out,” she says with a sigh, and she can practically feel Nic’s beaming smile, even though she’s not looking at him.

It’s 11 o’clock at night and sleep is probably a really good idea, but here they are- MK sprawled across the carpet, catlike, behind the couch, and Nic leaning over the back of it, practically falling off so he can reach the long strands of her hair.

She straightens up, sighing. "Actually, no- let me get my bag. If we're going to do this, you might as well brush it out first."

He makes a noise of assent, and she places her laptop on the ground before crossing the room to dig through her overnight bag. After a second, she locates her hairbrush, and flips it through the air. Nic fumbles the catch, nearly dropping it, and she returns to her position on the ground, sweeping up the laptop with one hand.She sits up straighter to make it easier for him to reach, and they both work in silence for a few minutes. He starts at the bottom, working carefully from there to the roots. She can actually tell how careful he's being with her, since she knows her hair is a complete mess but it's not painful at all. It's a very Nic thing for him to do, she thinks.

It takes him a few minutes to work his way through the tangled mass of her hair, and then he pauses. "I'm gonna start braiding now. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Just don't fuck up my hair too badly."

He laughs, and starts braiding. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle."

His fingers are quick and skilled, separating her wavy, chaotic hair into strands and weaving them neatly together. He never tugs, and even when he comes on the verge of doing so, he mutters a hasty little apology even when she makes no move to tell him off for doing so.

"Where did you learn to do this?" she asks after a while. "I'm assuming they don't teach hair care at journalism school, and unless there was a secret ponytail back in university that I don't know about-"

He huffs out a slight laugh. "Only for about a week. Then Amalia made me cut it off."

She grins slightly. The mental image is too good to resist thinking about.

"It was Alex, actually," he says, pausing at another twist in her hair.

"Alex?" MK frowns. She's only met the other Canadian journalist a handful of times, but from what she can remember, her hair is cropped short, around her shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She can feel his smile on the back of her neck again, and he continues braiding her hair. "The pixie cut's pretty recent. But when we were in Eleventh Grade, her hair was long. Like, Rapunzel long. I have some photos somewhere, I think."

"So, what?" She suppresses a yawn, but it's hard. "Cutesy best-friend sleepovers, complete with chick-flick-style makeovers?"

"Uh- yeah. Basically." She can hear the shrug, and then he adds, "kind of like we're doing now."

She laughs so hard she deletes ten lines of code by accident. "Wha- us, having a sleepover? Dream on, Nic."

"Well, we're friends," he points out, "and you're sleeping over. What do you want to call it?"

"Necessary?" she offers, undoing her mistake. "I mean, you were the one who basically got me forcibly evicted from my home-"

"Hold still," he says. "I'm nearly done."

She rolls her eyes, but does her best to hold her head straight. "So, the sleepovers-?"

"Mostly consisted of movies, junk food, and Alex practicing her makeup skills on me."

"And the hair braiding."

"And the hair braiding, yes."

"Makeup skills?" she asks, turning her head to raise an eyebrow at him.

He meets it with an unapologetic smirk and a shrug. "I'll have you know I look excellent in eyeliner and lipstick."

"You can't just state something like that with no evidence, Silver," she says, closing her laptop and crossing her legs. "Photos or it never happened."

With a deft flick of his hand, he ties the braid off with a hairband, and awkwardly does jazz hands. "All done."

"Got a mirror?" She can't fight the yawn this time, and she closes her eyes briefly.

"Uh- sure. Hang on a sec."

The floors of Nic's home are wooden, and MK can hear the thump-slip of his sock-covered feet as he crosses the room into the bathroom, followed by the sound of the cupboard opening and a few clatters.

He returns quickly. "Here," he says, dropping it into her hands.

She opens her eyes, regards her reflection.

"Passable," she says, and shuts them again.

Just like the grin, the pout of Nicodemus Silver is tangible enough to penetrate her closed eyelids. "Passable?"

She sighs, relents. "Nic, it's great. Thank you. My hair hasn't been this neat for decades, and you're surprisingly good at braiding hair."

"Ah," he says. "Oh- okay."

"What else do you want? A makeover?"

He laughs; collapses into the sofa like all his limbs have suddenly turned to rubber. "This is fine, actually."

"What- this?" She stand up and steadies herself against the back of the sofa. "It's, what , nearly midnight? I don't think I've got anything of use done all day."

"You saved me from walking into a trap," Nic points out. "Your hair's not a hazard to society anymore."

"Yeah," she says, and drops into the armchair across from him, which looks like it's been there for centuries. "Hey, you know what you should do?"

"What should I do?" His eyes are closed too; he looks like he's half-asleep already.

"When you talk about this on the podcast, heavily hint that we had wild, kinky sex all night."

His eyes shoot open, and he chokes and splutters. "I- what? MK!"

"Joking," she says, grinning. "Although, I mean, if you really did want to-"