#kitty logan

“On you?”  He nodded shyly.  I was a bit hesitant but decided to go with it, who knew, maybe it would be a nice change from the usual.  “Sure, why not,” I smiled kindly.  I decided to take the lead.  I kissed him and started to unbutton his shirt.  He seemed a bit unsure of what to do and mainly stood there as I took his shirt off for him.  I pushed him backward onto the bed and handcuffed him to the headboard.

“I’m sorry if I’m not great at this, it’s my first time being dominant,” I said.

“It’s okay, it’s my first time too.” He replied.

“You’ve never been submissive before?” “I’ve never had sex before.”  I stopped.  I was not prepared for this revelation.

“What?” I asked a bit more sharply than I probably should have.

“I’m a virgin…” he blushed.

“Nonono.  You’re not having kinky bondage sex your first time.  This needs to be special. I’m not going to let you ruin your first time like this.”

“It wouldn’t ruin it,” He protested.

“Yes it would,” I replied as I reached for the keys to the handcuffs.

“This is what I want,” He continued to argue.

“Who is supposed to be in charge here, Roman,” I snapped at him.  He fell silent at this as I uncuffed him.

I had a great time, Roman had gone above and beyond trying to please me.  Roman was more or less content, although he seemed a bit upset about not being able to do what he wanted to.  Roman, worn out by the experience, fell asleep curled against my side.  We laid there together and I ran my hand through Roman’s jet black hair.  I stayed with him for awhile but couldn’t sleep and got out of bed to explore his apartment.

I wandered room to room in his large penthouse apartment.  I found his library first.  There were bookshelves that went from ceiling to floor and a large leather couch in the middle of the room.  The library was loosely organized by author and series but in no way alphabetical.  One entire wall was just comic books and other movies and TV shows.  A stack of empty mugs and used plates were stacked on top of one of the ornate but water stained side tables on either side of the couch.

I moved on to a room filled with really weird art, similar to the bee-centaur I had seen at his office.  I didn’t stay in this room very long.  Some of the pictures Roman had in his collection creeped me out a bit.

I moved on and found a room with a large piano.  I love the piano, but I hadn’t played in years.  I sat down at it and opened up the keyboard cover.  I lightly stroked the keys, wanting to play but too afraid.  I hesitated for several minutes.  Would I even remember how to play?  I decided to go for it.   It came back to me quickly, even though I made a lot of mistakes, but I felt confident that those were overwhelmed by my passion for playing.

I could have gone on for hours but Roman ran into the room in a panic.

“Are you okay?” He asked nervously.

“Yeah I’m just playing your piano,” I said cheerfully.

“Have you played before?” He asked.

“It’s been awhile so I’m a bit rusty but I think I’m picking it up pretty well, right!” I replied.  He nodded, an expression of confusion on his face, it was probably just that he was tired.  “Sorry did I wake you up?”  He nodded sleepily.  He barely was keeping his eyes open now.

“I’ll stop playing so you can sleep.”  He mumbled something quietly but I couldn’t hear him.  “What was that?”

“I woke up and you weren’t there…”

“Do you want me to come with you?”  I asked.  He blushed a bit.

“If you wouldn’t mind…”  I smiled at the adorable puppy of a man and took his hand, leading him back to his bedroom to go back to bed.

We laid there and I looked guiltily at the handcuffs and blindfold that lay on the bedside table.  Would he really have been happier with those?  Even though it was his first time?  Was I using him?  I was very conflicted by all these thoughts.  Roman’s gentle breathing helped calm me.  This is what he wanted, I reassured myself.  He wanted someone to be in control, and that’s what I was doing.

I sat up and immediately winced. I felt like throwing up.

“Relax, Sweetie,” a soothing voice whispered next to me. I felt someone place their hands on my shoulders. Who the fuck was touching me? “It’s okay, Babe. Here,” I felt the person’s hand nudge my arm. “Take these. They’ll help with the headache.”

I took the white pills from their hand, while they handed me a glass of water with the other hand. I noticed the rose gold chrome nail color she had, and immediately without thinking blurted out, “You have very pretty nails.”

I heard her laugh, and I felt myself redden. Of course that was the first fucking thing I said. I didn’t even know who she was.

I quickly swallowed the pills and the water, hoping that I would stop blushing. “Sweetie?” I heard her say, “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“Um… I remember going out with my friend… and um… drinking, a lot… There was something happening with fire, or something like that… and uh… I might’ve passed out…?”

“Mhm, and do you know where you are right now?”

I thought for a second and realized I had no idea where I was, or how I had gotten here. “Um… Where’s Callie?”

“She’s with Roman,” she said as she moved so she was sitting directly behind me. I felt her hands move to my back around my shoulder blades, rubbing in little circles. “She’ll be fine.”

I moved to face her, achieving a sharp pain in my head. Her hands dropped, and she smiled. “Who are you, just by the way?”

“Oh, I’m Roman’s sister, Ellie.” She took my hands in hers. “It’s very nice to meet you.” She softly moved her thumb back and forth across my hand, while still smiling.

I raised an eyebrow at her, and took my hands from her. What did she think she was doing? I obviously had Callie to look forward to, and I needed to focus on her, especially since this break seemed like a good chance to get on her good side.

“Oh Honey, please don’t be like that.” She directed me to turn back around, then wrapped her arms around me. “Roman has told me a lot about you, and your papers and the interviews that you had your friend fill in for. You seem like such a sweet little thing, don’t ruin it and be mean now.” She moved one of her hands up, and ran her fingers through my hair.

“Um. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but if you haven’t noticed, I have Callie-”

“Callie? You honestly think you have that girl?” She sneered, before she went back to petting my head. “No… Roman has her, Babe. And to be honest… I’m a little jealous that my little brother has found someone before I have… But you’re so sweet. We could be…” She paused for a moment. “Well, we could be something too…”

I pushed her hand away from my hair, and myself away from her. “Look, I get that you’re upset about your little brother or whatever, but I don’t even know you.”

“Yeah… I understand that… But we could get to know each other. We wouldn’t have to be alone. We could be together, or at least try to.”

I leaned back. Maybe I was being too picky and needed to expand my people interest. I mean, how bad could getting to know someone be? Even if a relationship didn’t work out, maybe we could be friends, and I wasn’t complaining about making new friends. However… She wanted me, or at least she enjoyed the idea of having someone to be with. But Callie was still here… And she- I felt the hurt grow, and I bit down on my lip to stop myself from whimpering.

I would feel like I was betraying her… I remembered last week when it felt like she was doing the same to me, even though she owed me nothing. I could still taste the bitterness. I wanted to be with Callie, not the sister of a stuck-up prick who was stealing my girl.

Ellie though… I glanced at her, with her puppy dog eyes. I could give her a chance, and maybe my interest in Callie would fade and I would start liking her, and then I would finally be with someone I wanted to be with.

I took her hands in mine and smiled at her. “You know, maybe we could try something.” Even though I felt better about not rejecting her, something cold and dark crept upon me. The hurt in my chest grew, and I felt like I was going to cry.

She smiled and stood up. She kissed the top of my head, “You know, you’re much cuter when you’re agreeing with me.” She left the room, shutting out most of the light, probably because of the hangover and all. But she left me with my own thoughts, and feeling even more cold and alone than ever.