i cant wait to grow old but also never want to grow old but also not live to grow old

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i cant wait to grow old but also never want to grow old but also not live to grow old

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quick lazy comic. oh nooo don’t make us update our roster
restraining myself from replying to annoying y*tamak* shippers on tiktok being smug about the ship's canonicity with "☝️🤨 actually there's 0 textual evidence that they got married or, for that matter, ever spoke to each other post main series"
Garden
rereading killing time made me think of reader giving Jack a bj but disliking it, she tries to make him happy because she’s still inexperienced
Not u rereading my worst fic known to man.....
But ya she's on blogs trying to find tips on how to do it properly before it even happens and practices holding her breath and tries to remember all these things like breathing thru her nose and holding her jaw open wide enough and covering her teeth with her tongue but he's so rude and the second she even grazes him a little hes pulling her off by her hair and telling her not to just stop bc shes not even good, and shes begging crying to try again and he holds her head down really hard even when shes gagging and trying to pull away and shes not even mad at him just mad at herself for like involuntarily trying to like breathe LOL

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Wet and Choking
there is something alien inside my chest.
it leaks out of me slowly, heady and viscous.
what is this,
it sticks to my hands and won't wipe off.
collects dirt and grime, and soap can't break it apart.
i can taste it on my tongue sometimes, bitter, addicting.
its hollowed out a space and grew before i realized to be afraid.
the taste is getting stronger, the weight heavier, every breath pushes it into my ribs, i can feel the scrape of teeth on bone, its gnawing on me.
eating me from the inside, licking up my organs, hot and slick.
its gripping onto my throat, makes it hard to speak.
i think its in my guts, twisted and wriggling, and creeping under my skin heating it up.
press into me bitter parasite, let me play good host.
find what you are looking for within me, let me be useful, let me be wanted, then let me taste.
I like to think bonnie was a dove as a little angel 💭💭 like her species is born as a dove and slowly becomes more human-ish so babies and toddlers are doves kids and teenagers are kindof harpy like and young adults and adults are like bonnie is and once dead they turn into a star 💭💭
hah. fools. i have inferred the context. try harder