#kill it fire

This episode was on crack cocaine. 

Well tonight I caught it. By 'caught' I mean trapped in a bowl after I cornered it in my future roommate's bedroom by shutting the door and after about 5 minutes of chasing it around it bounced off the wall and ricocheted into the bowl. I then frantically called around - to my mom and friend; the latter promptly hung up on hearing who I was bitch - trying to figure out what the hell to do.

My stepdad said to shake the glass really hard and try to knock it out, then bring it outside and hit it with a broom. My friend provided text support, in which I briefly decided on letting it asphyxiate. I tried to see if I could knock it out by shaking the glass, so I got some cardboard underneath the bowl, picked it up, and shook it. It wasn't enough at first, so I tried shaking harder every time I failed. I think I caught the hardiest mouse ever though, since all I achieved was frightening it even more while I got to watch and hear it bounce around (by the way, this is easily the worst experience of my life. I feel incredibly guilty, because right from the beginning I could see how scared it was and it was really cute. I kind of hated myself then).

Lacking the ability to kill something bigger (and cuter) than an insect, I decided to let it go outside. While I was leaving the property, I met my landlady. She said to just take it across the street to the construction site. So I let him go, he hopped away, fearing for his life, and we discussed falling space debris and the time she found a wasps' nest in a bag of lint. We were in the yard when I saw something out behind her, like a really fat cat. There's a cat orphanage next to us, and the owners of that have their own personal cats, so I wasn't surprised, UNTIL I saw a fat. white. stripe down its back.

I would just like to say I've had enough of wildlife for today and all I want to do is eat the cupcakes I bought from that cupcake show on TLC that's down the street and watch Sholay, but the version I torrented doesn't have subtitles and I need to go wash the floor where the mouse pooped in fear.