#kill!!!!!!!!!

having abandonment issues SUUUCKS bc rationally i can be like "yeah people change their mind and dont always want u in their life" but im like? parents too??? people who put a future together into ur head when you Never asked for that???? makes. sense to one day be like "i need something new," people do that all of the time. but UR MOM?????????? ur dad ????????????? when they say they were convinced you were going to ask them to run away with you and they WOULD HAVE??????? what changed where'd that hype go. and why did my mom come back that makes it so much worse somehow. and why is my dad so hit or miss he might as well have been gone since i was 10 thank you for the stoicism boom and propeller hat and forgetting my name so calling me "O" but where ARE you??????? and i wish i could forget all about so many people and abandon the idea of them as they have me but that OCD shit is no joke. i dont want to ruminate and think about what once was Ever but Here we are! no amount of mindful breathing or stomping had ever successfully curbed the amount of disgust and sorrow i get in my head on a daily basis im Over It

BABEY!!!!!!!