#kidtalk

—

Tech’s wife isn’t human. Near-human, yes, but the two of them were supposed to be biologically incompatible in terms of reproduction.

There's a time early on when one of the brothers tentatively asks Tech if he’s sure the baby is his.

"Of course it is," Tech muttered without looking at them. "Don't be absurd."

"Are you sure though? Because if they’re not supposed to be able to reproduce with humans and you can't find any records of it happening before—"

"I assume not everybody puts their very personal medical information out for the rest of the galaxy to see," Tech retorted. "The information not being readily available does not necessarily mean it doesn't exist."

"You sure about that."

Tech turned to look at Crosshair with a glare. There was a tense beat of silence before he forcefully typed a series of commands onto his data pad and shoved it into Crosshair's chest as he strode past. It was open to an atlas.

"Find me any record of Kamino prior to five years ago," Tech spat. "If you can't, the planet didn't exist, correct?"

Wrecker and Echo parted as Tech continued forward. "Stop questioning my wife's integrity," he shot back over his shoulder.

She finds him later. She'd asked Omega why everyone seemed uncomfortable when she left and guilty when she returned and was grateful the girl had told her the truth. Omega wasn't afraid of holding her brothers accountable.

"… I really appreciate your faith in me," his wife says. "I would never be unfaithful to you."

"I know," Tech said. "The thought never crossed my mind."

"Really?"

"Yes. You've had ample opportunity to leave and find better prospects elsewhere, but you're still here and we don’t exactly have much to offer you. Nobody else would do something as foolish as that, unless they felt they had a reason to stay."

"… I'll choose to believe that's a compliment," she said wryly.

"Simply a fact," Tech said. "Why else would somebody risk being a target by association of their own volition?"

"You're saying my love for you makes me irrational?"

"It makes people do irrational things, even if they are contrary to their better judgement," he corrected. "Risking your life to stay with us, or even to stay with me, does not make objective sense— But I wouldn't have married you if I didn't trust that you were aware of the risk you were taking. Irrational or not, I trust that you know what you want.”

He finished securing the cargo. "And I do hope that is still me."

"It is," she said. "Always."

Tech didn't realize he would feel relieved hearing that affirmation from her. She hadn't hesitated, hadn't wavered.

He finally turned to look at her properly, setting his tools aside. His eyes drifted down, still unsure of what to do with the twisting sense of unease in his chest.

"… Even with this?" he asked, nodding to her middle.

She looked down too, but he didn't think it was to avoid him. "I think especially with this," she said. "I'm… I'm happy that it's with you. I'm happy we do get the chance."

Some of that unease started to settle, at least to the point Tech didn't feel like it was at threat of bubbling over and making him act irrationally.

"Are you happy, Tech?"

He… should have anticipated that. Tech didn't say anything, and the longer he went without responding the more he felt guilt gnawing at the back of his neck. He knew he was supposed to say something and he knew what she wanted to hear, but he didn't feel that giving a knee-jerk answer he was unsure of would make the situation better without potentially complicating things down the road.

"… I don't have the experience to know what I'm feeling," he said slowly. "I have no basis for comparison, and these are the most inopportune circumstances for us to find out in. I'm worried about you; everything else is blotted out by that fact alone. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

Her face fell, and he could see her trying to control her own emotions as she fiddled with her flight suit. She was disappointed, upset, and probably hurt, and he was sure those feelings were further compounded by the change in hormones. He didn't want to be the reason she felt that way, but it was better than unknowingly lying to her, or his answer being something he changed his mind about.

Tech came to kneel in front of her, taking her hand in his so she'd know he was serious. She let him.

"… I am relieved to know that you're happy," he said. "I promise that I'm not going anywhere."

Content to accept that your own mind had simply woken you up, you let yourself sink back into your pillow. As you waited for sleep to return to you, you took a moment to admire Thrawn’s restful face. His hair was slightly disheveled, a result of his earlier tossing and turning as he was gripped in a nightmare. You’d woken him up and soothed him with gentle passes through his hair, massages at his temples and over the various scars littering his chest and arms till his labored breathing had eased. It was a relief to see him sleeping peacefully now - the memories of his abduction and survival in the unknown regions far from the surface of his mind. Without warning, he rolled over to face you and you realized that his eyes were open into narrow slits. 

The red of his eyes gently lit the apples of his cheeks, making them appear slightly purple as if he was blushing but they were unnervingly focused despite just waking up. “Beloved,” he began when his eyes met yours, “what are you doing up?” His voice was thick with sleep, seeping from his lips like molasses, to contrast the alertness of his eyes

“I could ask you the same thing,” you whispered back, “I thought I heard crying.” You mumbled as you slid closer to him. He accepted you into his space readily, bringing you close to his chest with a low hum. 

“I thought the same. I was worried it was you having a night terror this time.” He swept one large hand along the expanse of your back, up to clasp your neck to guide your head beneath his chin. With a small hum of your own, you rested your cold nose against the warm column of his throat. He hissed at the chill but said nothing.

“Should we-?” Footsteps cut you off this time. You raised your head at the same time Thrawn looked over his shoulder at the door. There was a beat and you were both out of bed. Thrawn, thanks to his long stride, beat you to the door and opened it with an elegant flick of a switch. When the door had vanished into the wall, you found yourself peering around you husband’s torso into the dark hallway of the wing bestowed to the two of you. 

It was hard to see anything without the luxury of the infrared spectrum so it came as no surprise to you that Thrawn saw whoever was wandering the homestead at this hour first. “Thamani?” His voice had cleared since first waking up and now rung out in the stillness of the night with clarity you were more used to hearing directed to his crew. You could just make out the silhouette of the girl in question as she froze midstep. “Why are you out of bed?” 

“Thrawn,” you hissed, lightly tapping his arm to admonish his harsh tone, “gentle.” Stepping around him, you met the young girl’s soft red eyes where they glowed like two lightning bugs. “Are you alright?” You waited, patiently, for the former sky-walker to approach you or begin speaking. She did the former, which brought her into the faint light emanating from the side panel of the doorway and allowed you to see the still evident tear tracks running down her cheeks. “K’ta,” you cooed and lowered to your knees before the girl, “what happened?” Thrawn reappeared and offered her a tissue that you hadn’t seen him grab. 

“I...” she began a hushed voice, “I had a nightmare,” dabbing at her cheeks she cleared the remaining water herself before softly blowing her nose, “and I...it’s stupid.” She sighed and hung her head, the tissue crumpled in her fist. 

Lowering himself to the girl’s height, Thrawn spoke in a much softer voice, “it cannot be ‘stupid’ if it has reduced you to tears and moved you from your room.”

Thamani was quiet for a long moment as her eyes darted between you and Thrawn. She found her strength in your husband’s gaze first, before bringing her eyes to you as she explained what had upset her. “It-it was about you two...” she started again in a voice so small and fragile you could have imagined it, “we were on a ship and I-” she choked, voice crackling like shattered glass “-and I got us lost and we crashed and you two, you two...” fresh tears fell in fat rivers, swiftly collecting on her chin and jaw to fall to the ground. With a distressed cry, Thamani turned away and roughly scrubbed at her face as if that would hide the fact she was genuinely terrified and more than upset at the very thought of you and Thrawn dying. 

“K’ta,” your heart squeezed in sympathy, “look at us, please.” You whispered to her. When she refused to turn towards you, you casted Thrawn a pleading look. His brow was furrowed the way it always was when he was presented with a problem outside the realms of tactics or art. And his mouth was twisted into a thin frown. But his eyes were focused on the back of Thamani’s head. 

“Thamani,” he began in a firm voice, “cheo visot vn’inen’i, please listen to your mother.” 

That was enough to move her. With her hands still clasped over her mouth as if to force her sobs and sniffles back into her tiny body, the young chiss turned frightened red eyes onto the both of you. 

You rested a grateful hand on Thrawn’s arm. “Darling, we’re alright. We’re safe. All of us are safe.” Your other hand reached out towards her, inviting her to approach. “I know you’re scared and I’m proud you care so much about our safety but you need to remember that that won’t ever happen. We won’t get lost, we won’t crash, we won’t leave you.” 

She was frozen for a long beat in which only her eyes and quivering bottom lip moved and then, as if someone had shoved her, she dove forward. Thamani crashed into you, a sobbing, sniffling mess with her arms far too tight around your neck. Startled by the uncharacteristic display, you didn’t have time to regain your balance and thus teetered backwards as your arms retracted around the young girl. If not for Thrawn swiftly moving to catch you - arms steadying you and your young daughter while his knee acted as a brace against your back - you would have toppled over. 

Thamani buried her face against your neck, sobbing loudly in your ear as she clung to you. You were quick to recover from your initial shock and began cycling through all the soothing techniques you knew from your own childhood and the one’s passed on to you by Thamani’s former momish. But as the seconds slipped past, it became increasingly obvious that she really needed to just cry everything out. 

You chanced a glance at Thrawn who had already come to the same conclusion you had. With a nod, he shifted, finding a comfortable position with his back against the wall. You followed him, curling into his chest and slightly shifting Thamani off of you to also rest against her father who gingerly curled his arms around the both of you. Thamani shifted, slipping further down to rest her head over your heart instead of on your shoulder. Content with the new position within both of your holds, her cries began to quiet.

Softly, you began to hum a lullaby Thrawn had taught you when you’d first started seeing each other. It was almost peaceful, here in the dark corner of the Mitth homestead in the hold of your husband with your daughter resting against your chest. 

A hand rested on your head, gently petting your hair in a steady rhythm in time with a rumbling hum that you felt just as much as you heard. It was saying something, but it was far too quiet for you to make sense of. But you felt safe. Safe enough to ignore how dark it was and how cold half of your body felt. With a now agitated huff, you burrowed into the warm surface you were leaning against. 

It wasn’t until you felt an even warmer puff of air curl over your forehead did your mind piece everything together. Peeling your eyes open, you found yourself still in the hallway just outside of your bedroom. You must have fallen asleep. Looking down you found Thamani still resting against you. Her hands were balled into little fists she caged between your stomach and her chest but her head had fallen against Thrawn’s chest instead of your own. But, she was asleep. Peacefully so. 

You looked up to find Thrawn watching both of you with a fond - if not tired - expression. “Ch’acah...” he whispered, bowing his head just low enough to brush your brow with a kiss, “help me get her back to bed?”

With a small nod you gradually extricated yourself from first your daughter’s grasp and than your husband’s. After stretching your aching limbs out you helped Thrawn gather the young girl into his arms so he could more easily carry her to her room. 

It was a tranquil walk through the hallway. Thamani clung to Thrawn in her sleep like a baby which somehow made her look much younger. How old was she when she was taken from her family? Her birth family? From what Thrawn had told you of his sister, she couldn’t have been much older than five. And the poor girl had only been with the two of you for a year now. Her thirdsight had faded  earlier than normal - when she was 11 - but that hadn’t stopped the Mitth from, more or less, staking claim to the young girl the second she became an option to adopt into the family. 

Still, six years of military service - six years of her childhood just gone...

To see her acting like a normal child with normal parents was perhaps the greatest gift you’d ever received. 

You’d been hesitant when Thrawn proposed the idea of adopting her yourselves. He was still on thin ice with the Mitth - Thurfian was constantly breathing down his neck even though Thrawn was technically retired - and you were a total outsider to the Chiss. You still weren’t fluent in Cheunh and the Chiss only acknowledged you as Thrawn’s spouse. You worried that, although your relationship with Thrawn was completely stable, your unstable relationship to the Mitth and to the Ascendancy as a whole would be detrimental to the girl. She’d already been displaced enough. Still, he’d been adamant about the importance of passing down your collective knowledge and life experience. 

You didn’t have the strength to deny him. And fortunately, the Mitth didn’t either. Thus, Thamani had come to you. 

Finally, the young girl’s room came into view. You slipped past Thrawn to open the door and stepped inside the dark area. Her bed was in total disarray - no doubt from startled kicking - but the rest of her room was just as it’d been when you came to tuck her in. 

While Thrawn gently adjusted his grip on the girl so he could set her down, you set about fixing her sheets and making sure her favorite stuffed animal was retrieved from where it fallen beneath the bed. Next came the girl herself who didn’t so much as stir as Thrawn carefully laid her down and you moved to pull her covers over her and tuck her in. With a careful kiss on her forehead, you pulled away and allowed Thrawn to do the same. 

There was a moment after where the two of you just watched, making sure she stayed asleep. Thrawn kept his hand secured on the small of your back, warm and constant - just like him. 

Slowly, his arm crept around your waist to secure you to his side as he carefully maneuvered the two of you out of her room and back to your own. 

As you settled into bed once more, Thrawn pulled you into him - his body forming to hold yours closer as his face rested in the curve of your throat. “Thrawn?” You asked softly. “Are you alright?” 

He hummed against your neck, his lips slightly cool on the warm, fragile skin he kissed. “I am overwhelmed, beloved - this life is more than I could have ever imagined for myself.” He moved up as whispered his confession against you and everywhere his lips touched on you seemed to spring to life and buzz with electricity. But while his motion excited your body, his words soothed your mind and heart. “Thank you.”