#kida lavellan

Thank you @followingthewolf for the tag! 💜

Iorveth touched her upper arm, fingers caressing the skin and setting her senses alight. "You are cold."

"I am always cold. There is ice in my veins."

32. Birth ((the Lavellan Siblings))

When the twins were born, Cole was so excited. He was by his mother’s side when she went into to labor, holding her hand and trying to help in anyway he could. He was the third person to hold his siblings. Ever since they were born, he wanted to help out with every birth in the Clan. Though he was usually only tasked with bringing clean cloth and fresh water.

When Kida began training as a spirit healer, he helped with many births in the Clan (and even some outside of the Clan in human villages). He began to see birth as a part of daily life, always helping with the Halla and the women of the Clan. He even helped with some Mabari, humans and surface Dwarves.

Kala always felt birth was an amazing thing but was always stressed out by it. When she became pregnant, she tried her hardest not to let it affect her. Cullen, seeing the fear and stress, made sure to bring Cole and Kida back to Skyhold in her final month of pregnancy. When the time came and she went into labor, she cried. She was afraid. No soothing gestures or loving words from Cullen could calm her. Nor could anything her brothers did. When Kida delivered the first child (a girl) and handed her to Cullen, she was amazed. Then came the second (a boy), who was handed directly to her. She was still crying but it was out of happiness. Birth is an amazing thing to Kala.

42. Loss ((Cole))

Cole carries loss with him and it weighs heavily on him. When Corypheus destroyed Haven, his heart was broken. The pain got worse when he saw the vast list of names of those who died. When Tavin and his clan mates were slain in the Emerald graves, it hurt just as much. Another loss of life, another person Cole liked and cared for. Loss is hard for him and his grieving process is a long one not even Bull can help with.

25. Religion ((Kida))

Kida didn’t really bother too much with religion. While he was the clan’s Second, he learned the histories and the lore of the People and the Gods but he didn’t necessarily believe. When he joined the Inquisition, he learned more about the Chantry and Andraste. He found it interesting but thought nothing more of it. Religion is a thought provoking and interesting piece of knowledge for Kida and that’s about it. He hopes to learn more about the Stone some day.

31. Death ((Kala))

Kala doesn’t deal well with death. She tends to close in on herself and internalize all her feelings. Things are especially hard for her when it’s the death of a child. When she was scouting in the Exalted Plains and found the blood soaked teddy bear amongst three prone bodies (one of them so small, it shook her to the core), she didn’t speak and her face went blank. She silently dug a grave for the family of three and transplanted a nearby sapling over them. She had taken the teddy bear as a reminder that everyone suffers from war and hate.

Thank you @musetta3 for the tag! 💜

"You never let anyone see under that polite mask of yours, do you?"

"You saw more than most."

She breathed deeply at that, lungs shuddering at the weight of his words and the reserved, quiet longing in his tone. Eyes stinging, frost crawling slowly around her neck, she swallowed thickly and held his gaze. The same gaze that had always brought her such joy and still did, despite the polite and painful distance that now steeled them.

"Will you. . ." Her voice failed her, cracking, going hoarse, causing her to close her eyes and lower her head. When she next spoke, her expression mirrored the desperation that wrapped around her words, barely concealed underneath her stripped, hollow tone. "Will you talk to me after this is over and done?"

It’s the GIRLS!!!! I commissioned the lovely @knightdawnart for @aranislavellan ‘s Aranis, my Fen and @ma-serannas-vhenan ‘s Kida!

Thank you @starsandskies for the tag! 💜

The Link.

Kida Lavellan

you're choking on how much you have to try

you have tried. you have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders and accepted more responsibilities than you have ever wanted, even intended to gain. it isn't crushing - you are strong enough to hold it - but you are choking. you don't know what to do with it. you don't know where it goes, how to move this weight everyone knows you can hold onto, and do you even want to get rid of it? Never. You would not give this to - force this on - anyone else. but you /can't/. but you are choking on it. your body will hold it up even when you lose all the air in your lungs, and your footing, and your courage. it does not mind choking you. it seems almost designed to do so. if you weren't wrung out you wouldn't be doing this thing properly.

Edith Hawke

you swallow pain & fold around it

you have always hurt. you hold it carefully, and twisted in such a way that other people don't have to see it. you don't choke on it. you don't drown. you just have it, the way some people have freckles, this is a thing that lives in your bones. you fold instead of fighting because you know how to make yourself small, tuck away the places where they have clawed at, swallow the bruises so you seem clean. nobody needs to see it. you will live through this on your own. you know what you need, and relief isn't it. this doesn't mean you cannot reach out - it means it is not in your nature to do so. you should. hiding does not mean you won't be seen.

Twig Moonrest

this isn't enough for you

the words creep into your head in the dead of night one night and you cannot get rid of them. 'this isn't enough for me anymore'. you thought this was enough for you at some point, or maybe you hoped that it would be, but it isn't, and it hurts. you need to change something, or die trying. this - life like this - does not make life worth living. there is a lump in your throat that demands attention every waking moment of the day. there is pain in your body like a cavernous maw you cannot keep balance over. this is not what you wanted. you need to change. you can't stay here. it is not a character flaw you want more.

Enden'nira Faelock

you were meant to

it was built into you. designed for you. there is pain here because it was meant for you, and how fucking dare they. your suffering is not their right. you hurt because they gave you ways to suffer and carved it into you when you could not breathe, because the intention always was that they could weaponize your pain against you. it is Yours. You are Yours. How fucking dare they. they cannot make you theirs; do not let them try.

Witcher Abel

because you have made mistakes you cannot swallow

mistakes come back to you like echoes in an empty cave. you have been trying since you started but does trying count? is trying good enough? every night it visits you, the pain that you have caused with your clumsy hands and venom-tongue. life careens onward, onward, with the moon hung in the sky and the sun the day after, but you walk backwards on this path so you can keep sight of what you did. the destruction still feels fresh. it still feels like fire, where you burned them. fire is supposed to be warm. it burned them, and it will swallow you. blow out the candle. let it rest. some things are better left behind in the dark.