#kid5

Some self indulgent shit

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well dang. idk where to start i just wanna go home i haven't sleep in my bed in for ever like cents sckool started i miss my freaking bed i wish things whee just different im not the not the type to complain but dang man idk what to do any more . ik  im strong im real strong but dang im just tired of being strong uk ? i dont even know what home is i just wanna go there . i jusst wanna lay down and feel like i can let my guard down . im tired . im tired of over thinking about things imn tired of haven to do stuff oh gawd i can type for ever but i dont want to . i needa let every thing out but im afraid to . i know my life can be 10 times worse thats why i dont com[plain ik people have it worse then i do . today cruse told me to stop being a bitch about something he didnt even know any thing about and it kinda hurt .im not being a bitch . but honestly idk what im being . idk any thing . i never really had any body to teach me how to be a man uk ? i think i am being a man but what if im just being a bitch ? man idk any thing i just wanna maoladlijlaidhmel i dont even know what i wanna do . idk idk idk idk idk . brotherly love . i love my brothers and they love me . i took them out to eat the other day and they where so happy to see me . they where so happy i was back . josh was like tray man i wanna be like you . i dont wanna have to need any body . you always have money and even when you dont have money you find a way . i wanna be like you .  them boys really look up tp me . imean i do have my shit to together . like i said my life could be alot worse but i make the best out of it . but now idk what to do . im tired of not being able to go home when im outta sckool . i  look at ashlee and her family and i just be like wow . i mean she can say all these bad things about them but they are there for her. when she went over her aunts house her aunt asked her how was her grades . its like every one cares. her family is so loven they might have there problems but they are there for each other . when im at her house i just wanna blaaaaah . i appreciate ashlee and her family and all they do for me . the other day her mother was like you can stop working and ill just give you how much you would make every week . and i was like woooow thats crazy . she basically would be paying me not to work and focus on sckool .  her mother is so nice and funny loll but she doesnt know me she just meet me uk ? i have alot i needa say that i wont . i just used to be a king and look at me now sleeping on couches depending on other people nawhl that just ant me . my baby is comen back some time today witch is good im glad she got to go on a vacation . i love her. shes my baby girl . no seriously loll shes so silly and adorable i could just eat her up .......... not litterly eat her up 0.o cause that would be weird.