#khushi

I've just binge watched IPKKND the last 2 weeks. I was in my early 30s when this show came out in 2011. I remember watching a few bits here and there that time but I was busy with life. I'm surprised that the show aged so well given it's been 15 years. Of course, there are many things I love and many things I feel so angsty about this show.

I felt a strong sense of sadness and dissatisfaction that the show ended and I wasn't happy with most of the storyline post hate marriage.

This is a sort of rant and venting my opinion to give some kind of closure to this agonizing feeling I have about the way the story progressed. 

All the cast did so well. Sanaya was fabulous and gave an outstanding performance. Barun was a phenomenal actor in this show, this showed him in his prime youth and gave me pure joy to watch his subtle acting and his facial expressions. But, I couldn't help feeling somewhat angry that the guy took off for a movie shoot midway and caused deterioration of storyline by the team having to go for a stupid kidnapping track. Most of it was devoid of logic, a multimillionaire missing and Khushi/mami accessing airport security tapes, police ignoring Khushi and a whole host of other issues, it just was so unbearable.

I hated the comedic treatment of Khushi's suicide attempt. Hated is not a strong enough word for this track. I don't want suicide to be used in the shows in this manner, it's a terrible and deep wound for people and families who experience it. Given Arnav's trauma with his mom's suicide, it's unfathomable as to how the writers even came up with this sort of treatment for Khushi's supposed suicide attempt. Even if they wanted to show a suicide track, how I wish they showed a complete breakdown of Khushi and attempt suicide seriously in a really weak moment. They could have built the story from there, by creating situations where Arnav notices discrepancies in Shyam's statements and what he noticed/missed earlier. They could have even made Khushi amnesiac from suicide/accident even and I would have preferred that more compared to the terrible kidnapping track. 

Weak redemption arc for Arnav. I just didn't understand when Arnav realized the truth and when his misunderstanding cleared. When Shyam was character-assassinating Khushi in Shyam confrontation post kidnap, it just doesn't make sense for Arnav to be a spectator especially when he knows about Shyam and what Shyam says doesn't align with what he said to Arnav.

Showing Khushi more kid-like and immature as the show progressed. Granted, holi track is largely good, but who would want to celebrate holi in such a way especially if one's life is upended overnight? I understand they needed to lighten the emotional negative heavy feel and I can overlook it somewhat. But, I couldn't tolerate the other episodes with Khushi's antics and infantilization. The episodes by themselves are comedic and evoke a laughter, but they just didn't fit well in the storyline. I expected to see more angst and desperation and breakdown from Khushi and all I got were stupid swami track, Kamlesh Khabari track and what not. 

I haven't watched Sheetal and Ms India tracks fully, but they are irrelevant to the main plot, so, it's ok. 

There are other things I didn't like, like the Bubbly track, khushification of Lavanya's wardrobe, underutilization of Akash, Payal, Shashi, Mamaji, but I can live with these issues as it doesn't deviate from the characterization and story foundation.

I think the other crew also changed after the hate marriage. Barun's look was awful after hate marriage and got worse and worse. I watched IPKKND Ek Jashn and I didn't like it, I found the magic and chemistry missing and it was looking forced. All I could see was Barun in those episodes, there was no trace of ASR. Ek Jashn gave the impression that Barun and Sanaya can't recreate similar magic if they were to do a similar show now. When I see Barun in his interviews, I am put off by his lack of grooming. Maybe he will do all good if he gets a romantic role, but the way he looks with beard and ill groomed in the interviews doesn't inspire confidence. Sometimes I keep wondering if it's the same guy who looked so dashing in IPK and who I was looking at in the interview video. I know that 15 years is a long time, but he is still in early 40s and doesn't seem to care about how unkempt he looks. Sanaya looks older, but still looks pretty in any interview I see her.

AAAAHHHHH I FEEL THE POWER

✦ EMBER

If loving you was a sin, then let me burn. Let me burn, until nothing remains— until even the echo of my cries fade away.

But my love for you— survives beyond the end, beyond the ashes. Etched into the void.

A tender ache, my love— slowly carves me, cruelly cuts me. A sculptor's tender hands, and I am but a miserable sculpture.

If I'm honest, I wasn't sure which post this was referring to, and out of the two I posted a couple weeks back (I am so sorry it took me this long) only one of them makes sense. I think it was this:

If I stopped trying, would anyone notice?

To answer that is hard, if I speak freely, because to Jodie? Would anyone notice? It depends on when in her life you find her.

During her Perseus days, no one would care about her emotional wellbeing enough to ask why she had stopped, only 'why have you stopped' with an immense punishment behind those words. So yeah, in one way they would notice, but they wouldn't care for her enough to think of why.

During the events of Cold War, where she was Bell? Again, yes, people would notice, but dependent on the person would gather a different set of reactions. Maybe Mason and Woods would have tried to broach the subject, but when rebuffed, they would leave it alone. Park would be keeping her eye on things, measuring Bell's capacity to do things, whether it's the drugs that interfering with her judgement or whether the brainwashing has had an adverse effect on her emotional state (more so than it already did). Adler would be similar to her Perseus days, he wouldn't care why she stopped trying, only that she did and he would remind her 'we have a job to do, Bell.'

After that, when she has settled into her position in the CIA, when she's living her life relatively safely given all that's happened, people would definitely notice. Frank mostly, Fia (@lorvdz's OC and the CIA Director) would notice - a lot of people Jodie would have come to call friends, even family, would notice that slight change in her.

Now, if she said that to Vasili? That's a world where everything has gone wrong, don't you think? I feel that out of the two of them, Jodie always tries to remain focused and keeping fighting. Vasili does too, don't get me wrong, but I feel that his tiredness is more palpable, whereas Jodie hides hers too much. Vasili has been more open with this to Jodie than she has to him, is what I'm trying to get at, when we have discussed things in the past between them.

She cares for him so dearly, so I feel it's extremely heartbreaking for her to ask him the question. It almost feels like she wouldn't acknowledge that he would notice. The sibling effect these two have on me, it makes me wanna cry ngl.

It was me who asked the question, on what exact point Arnav realised Khushi is innocent and trusted her.

I’m so elated that you liked my question. Very eagerly waiting for your answer. And one more thing to add, (regardless of what your answer is) would Arnav sought out Khushi after the kidnap scenario even if he hadn’t trusted her?

Hope you have a good day!

I hope that softens the fact that I have not answered your question in... ages.

The reason why I truly loved your question was because it is something that's never really stated in the show, so it's very very open to interpretation.

For everyone else, the question was

[But at what exact point, do you think Arnav completely nullifies or forgets or accepts or maybe comes around the fact that indeed khushi is innocent, because he was very much believing in the concept of hers and Shyam’s affair]

There are two things here.

When did Arnav believe Khushi & when did Arnav realize the whole truth because I think the show frames it as two different points.

When Did Arnav Believe Khushi

This phase, I believe, happens over the course of a few months. In general I like to think that Arnav was irked and disturbed by Khushi's contradictory behavior. Cause the way she was, at times, genuinely did not fit the kind of woman Arnav believes her to be. Also, at some points I do think Arnav knows that he's meting out unfair punishment.

At one point he isn't even punishing Khushi for hurting his sister. He's punishing Khushi for hurting him. (A part he doesn't quite easily accept cause that means he loved her and he'd rather accept anything except the fact that he was vulnerable, in love, and in love with the wrong person).

And then when he unleashes his rage and hears her story and refuses to believe it, a part of him has registered her story. At least there's a different point of view to everything - which is why he also waited for a proof.

The fact that she wants him to believe her, soothes and hurts him at the same time. Maybe it's an extension of her act, maybe somewhere there's the woman he loved.

It's too optimistic to hope that what she's saying is the truth.

And then when he's kidnapped, isolated, and almost forced to a brink of impending death - then other things and matter disappear. To hear that somehow, miraculously, Khushi was worried, crying for him - undoes him in many many ways.

He believes Khushi's innocence. Her love. Their love. Or whatever it is.

The likelihood of Khushi's innocence is far greater, and when she comes across all odds to just save him and not have a word about anything else - he believes her.

When did Arnav realize the whole truth

This, interestingly, happens during Shyam's whole panicked yet intelligent speech at Shantivan.

Shyam knows Arnav loves Khushi - assumes Khushi must have told Arnav everything at this point and he would believe the woman he loves - so Shyam no longer cares about what story he spun to Arnav.

What was important was to discredit Khushi and anyone who believes/supports Khushi.

But with Shyam's set of lies and Payal standing up to Khushi's defense - Arnav sees 2 things very clearly.

That Khushi was right, and how easily Shyam could spin a story into another.

I truly think that's when he got the grasp of what went between Shyam and the Guptas.

Hope this answers your question!

Lots of love,

Jalebi