#khunfany

I'm a Muslim. I live in a country where LGBT+ is strictly forbidden. But later I found that Kookmin bond is so interesting. I'll just support their love for each other because it's beautiful. I don't know how (male/male) shipping works though I'd enjoy Kpop since 2009. Before them, I love Khunfany and till now I'm still sad they broke up. But I'm still remember the day that news leaked. I never thought in my life they were actually real. It's like a dream comes true. Visual couple. What I love about Kookmin, I feel/think exactly the same way as I did with Khunfany. You know. Instinct.

"Hey"

He started talking to me. I sat and listen.

"How've you been? Me? I've been doing awfully bad without you these past couple weeks.", He sighed. "Things...would have been a lot better with you, Tiff."

I sigh at this. Would it have been better with me, Nick?

"If you were there, we would have strawberry sundaes as we talk about all the shit in our lives. You would flick my forehead as I think about ending my life and you would say "hey, you deserve better", and i would believe it. I would cheer up and wipe some ice cream on your nose and you would do the same to me until the waitress kicks us out of the ice cream shop because of our mischevious acts." He continues, a small---faint smile forming at the corners of his lips.

That would be nice, I think. Anything is nice as long as I'm with you.

"I remember, when we were 5 we used to go to that swing set in the park just in front of our house. Remember that? We did that for years and as time flies by, it was not just a playground. It was an escape for both of us. An escape when things get messy in our house. Or simply, in our lives."

The swing set. Yes. Everytime I see it, I think of you and you know what? Everytime my parents fight, instead of crying, i smile. Because I had a reason to see you, Nick. There on that very swing set you talk about.

"Remember when we were 12? I asked you to marry me.", He chuckles softly at the memory. "And you said i had to kiss you first. I was about to kiss you when you put an apple in my mouth and said that we were too young to kiss.", he chuckled again. Oh how I miss that beautiful smile.

"17 years old, we danced under the beautiful stars beside my old car. Away from the prom that was happening just a mile away. You said you hated people and you wanted to go out. So I held your hand, pulled you out of that party, and enjoyed our very own. The cool wind whistling and the leaves rustling were our music along with our heartbeats, beating as one as we danced and kissed for the first time, the moon being our witness.", He smiled, wider than the previous one.

I would never forget that night. That wonderful night I knew I was in love with you. But it was also the night that I couldn't accept what I felt.

"You also ran away from me that night.", His smile slowly turned into a frown. "You said it cant be. You said 'we' can't be.", He sighed again. "And the next morning, you talked to me like happened nothing at all. Like any other days, you were my best friend."

I wanted to kiss you then, Nick. Hug you, run into your arms and feel safe. But I can't. I was too afraid of the many consequences we had to face if we continue what we felt that night. I was a coward.

"But I went on with it, Tiff. I went on. I continued being your best friend because if that's the closest thing I can do to be with you, then I'll do it.", Tears weren't rolling down on his face but I knew.

Oh Nick, I know when you're about to cry.

Please don't.

"I continued masking the pain of the thought that I could not be with you. That the wonderful night we had dancing under the stars were forgotten. I lived with it for 3 years.", And his tears roll down. And so does mine.

I'm sorry Nick. I terribly am. I regret not telling you I felt the same.

That I loved you.

"And one day, you come up to my house to say goodbye because you were going to Spain to study.", He wiped his tears from his face. I wanted to reach out to him and kiss his tears away.

But I can't.

"I was sad. Yes. But I needed to be happy for you. I was excited for you. Because you get to study abroad and that's what you've been dreaming about since we were kids. I was so happy knowing you reached your dream---even if my dream was slowly fading away. You....you were my dream, Tiff.", He sniffed as the tears in his eyes still fall.

There was silence, the sound of his sobbing only present at the painful silence in the white room we were in.

"But you know what the worst part is?"

The silence was broke when he spoke again.

"That you were so close to that dream. You were on the plane on the way to your dream...", His phrase was cut with his sobs getting louder. He started punching the bed.

Stop it Nick.

"...and it crashed. The plane...fucking...crashed.", He said with anger and sadness in his tone. The tears won't stol falling.

I said stop it, Nick.

"And here I am, talking to your brain dead body.", He plunged his head on the matress, still a sobbing mess.

I look at him, and at my unconscious body lying on the hospital bed.

His sobbing doesn't stop as he held my hand and put it close to his heart.

"I love you, Tiff. Please don't leave me.", He said with pain and begging in his voice. I sigh.

I'm sorry, Nick.

So as the heartbeat monitor beside my lifeless body created a long monotone sound, Nick shook my body as he cried out for help.

The nurses and doctors come inside, hoping to wake me up from the comatose I have been in for weeks now.

I stare at Nick who was crying helplessly, looking at my lifeless body and I can see that he was slowly losing hope.

Look here, Nick. Just one last time.

And just when I thought I couldn't say goodbye, he looked up at my direction. His puffy red eyes staring at mine as if he was seeing a ghost.

I smile at him one last time before walking to the bright light that was shining my way.

Goodbye, Nick.

(vía https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITbkOrX92tU)

I swear, even the universe wants me to ship TAENY, why you may ask? Because the night I decided that I was gonna stop shipping them and support KHUNFANY, the next day I saw the news that they broke up...like seriously? really?!