#kgxjun

ft @kgxjun

kingsman seems like a different place entirely.

(as though it hadn’t been a place that had bred him from the bottom up for the past seven years, as though he hadn’t been linked to the agency itself both physically and mentally until being apart from it for even a few weeks left him feeling like there was a horribly raw, empty feeling inside of him. he chooses not to focus on that because he doesn’t know exactly what he feels about being so attached.)

he reaches the building and it strikes him how familiar everything feels, yet so awfully different at the same time like he’s seeing himself from another person’s point of view. everything’s the same, except the fact that it isn’t jitae at the counter of the coffee shop anymore and he thinks that the cleaner on the first floor’s changed and there’s probably a large pile of work that sits untouched on his desk ㅡ

he inhales, tells himself that he can dig his fingers into his mind and pull out some reasonable explanation for the nosy ones that would ask why he had gone m.i.a like some teenager that had a sudden genius idea and felt as though a rebellion was necessary. yongguk doesn’t look forward to that talk. 

@kgxjun

cw transphobia

jisoo rushes into the bathroom, slamming her purse against the sink. she doesn’t bother checking if the stalls are empty or not, too frustrated to even bother with such  basic thing. her heart is racing in her chest - her bare, empty, flat fucking chest, heaving and sweaty under the stuffed push up bra she’s wearing. 

of course people, of course they’re going to think she looks stupid, she’s a joke, playing dress up, lying to them, trying to be something she’s not, she -

disgust.

it was just a few of them, just a few boys that pointed at her and snickered, that followed her and jeered and by god jisoo has never felt so scared in her life. her mind jumped to the worst conclusions, the worst possible scenario - what if they had come near her, taunted her, tried to touch her-

she can’t breathe. 

Hair: How does your muse feel about their appearance?

he’s self-aware to the point that he knows he’s mostly attractive. he doesn’t think he’s like a 9 out of 10 or anything. he thinks he has a big head, his proportion’s nothing special to mention, and he has fat fingers.

Nose: What memory does your muse’s favorite scent trigger?

this isn’t his favorite scent, but it’s his favorite memory associated with a scent. so.. it’s stinky tofu. jdsdsjds. okay so listen, when he was young his dad LOVED stinky tofu. he and the rest of his siblings don’t mind it really. they grew accustomed to it. during his dad’s birthday or for some celebration, his mom would buy it. the scent brings him back to his childhood every single time.

his favorite scent…. probably this one real cheap brand of Dior Homme. the kingsman agent he first met back in the UK wore it. fellas…. it’s real gay…

Throat: What is your muse’s greatest fear?

if you ask him, he’d say it’s being useless. he’s so ambitious that idly sitting back and letting himself go to waste is really tragic in his mind. but if he had to be really honest with himself, his fear involves letting people get involved with him, and getting hurt because of him. because of his capabilities he takes on more dangerous missions, and if he ever gets compromised and the enemy targets people he know, he won’t be able to work. as cold as he comes off, if one of his siblings and their family members were somehow taken hostage, he’d be completely too emotionally invested to work efficiently. 

Chest: What item or person does your muse treasure most?

there’s this one handcrafted handgun that one of the weapons specialists made back at the UK kingsman location. they don’t like each other a single bit but this boy made this for xiang yu’s birthday out of spite* and it surprisingly is one of the better performing firearms he’s used. it’s gotten him through a good number of tight spots in missions so he likes it a lot for its functionality and not sentimentality. 

body part headcanon meme // accepting.

hair: how does your muse feel about their appearance?

honestly, yongguk doesn’t care that much about his appearance and so it often leads to him looking disheveled on days (e.g. messy hair, ripped jeans and a jumper that you swear he’s worn for three days in a row). however he thinks that he’s pretty damn good looking which he thinks makes up for his lack of fashion.

throat: what is your muse’s greatest fear?

people leaving. he’s had enough of that going on from the beginning of his life to now and so the idea of someone getting close to him, so close that he thinks of them everyday and every night, then leaving makes him want to suffocate. yongguk’s therefore terrified of both letting people in and the prospect of them not wanting to know him any longer after thinking about what type of person he is.

arms: what is your muse’s greatest strength?

jesus christ our lord and savio

the only thing that keeps yongguk going at this moment is kingsman. despite having been impartial to the service before, he thinks that his strength are the relationships that he’s made and the people who keep him on the right track. without them he’d most likely dive head first into every dangerous scenario without much care….. more than he usually does.

(plus, there’s still a little shred of him that hopes his old hyungs will come back for him)

chest: what item or person does your muse treasure most?

yongguk isn’t as emotionally dead as he thinks he is, and so there are many people and things he treasures. to name a few people would be @kgjitae @kgxjun @kgjunho @kgyifan (hey yifan bro sorry hope u can forgive me) and surprisingly enough @kgxsungil (choke you ugly bi-) even if he shows his affections more for some people than others. when it comes to items though, the one thing he treasures the most is a ring from a hyung in his old gang.

[ Prompts ]

Hair: How does your muse feel about their appearance?

tw body image issues, internalized transphobia

On a normal day Jisoo doesn’t give it much thought - he’s satisfied for the most part, and he’s got a million other insecurities to fret over before he gets to the way he looks. 

It’s not always that way.

There’s some days where he wants to tear the skin from his bones and rip the hair from his head. He hates the body he’s stuck in, hates having to look in the mirror and see someone too ugly to be one or the other when sometimes he wants to be neither and nothing. It hurts to think that it’ll never be exact, that he’ll never be satisfied because he’s never one thing. 

He keeps to himself on days like that. 

Ears: What kind of music does your muse listen to/play?

scandanavian power metal only

Hands: What is your muse’s greatest regret?

tw death

He’s glad he’s alive. It means he can find out what happened to his parents, avenge them if he still can, carry on what legacy they’ve left for him.

But he remembers being eighteen, coming home to his mother’s body slumped over her arm chair. The blood trickling from her mouth, the look of pain on her face, the light gone from her once twinkling eyes: she’d died alone and scared. If he’d come home earlier, just a little earlier, he might have been there with her in her last moments - might have even joined her. 

It’s why he can’t give up. Not yet. 

Stomach: Can your muse cook?

Memories

🏠- A memory about their childhood home/where they used to live

“Kreo, it’s okay to talk about your mother.  She was a major part of your life and you won’t forget her if you talk about her.  That’s not how this works.  It’s natural to speak of the good and the bad when working through your grief.”  

The psychiatrist looked at the man sitting before him and motioned for Kreo to talk.  Kreo sat there for a few moments before actually acknowledging he had been spoken to.

“I don’t like talking about mother.  Mainly because it hurts me to know that she was taken away sooner than she ever needed to be.”  He crossed his arms and stared at the ceiling.  Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he did his best to will them away as the doctor went on to talk about how it’s never easy to lose a loved one so early to cardiac arrest.  

Just hearing that phrase angered Kreo.  His mother had been murdered and no one even understood that.  It made his blood boil.  So much so that he simply looked at the slender male before him, Dr. Lim, and rolled his eyes.  Now he would simply cater to the man’s will for the rest of the session. Something he often did to make his father feel as if his money were being put to good use through these sessions.

“So, our first house, the one my parents had before mom got her new job...  It was a great house.  It had this little elevator that would take you from the first to second floor.”  Kreo smiled a little at the memory, a reaction that wasn’t fake.  “What was great about the damn thing was that you had to like pull yourself from the first to the second floor by using a hand crank.  I don’t know who built the house or why they thought that was an amenity that the house needed, but as a 6 year old, I thought it was the best thing since soda pop. Especially when my older sister couldn’t crank it well enough to get herself anywhere and she got stuck between floors.”

@kgxjun

“hyung.” 

jisoo stretches himself out over jun’s sofa, nearly purring at the satisfactory crack in his back. he’s been lounging for so long, he’s gotten too comfortable, in more than one way. 

it is no stretch at all to say he and jun are friends now, perhaps even close.

what had been a chance encounter, supposed to be an ‘exception’, just one winter day where he could pretend he had a friend that understood him. except now he actually does have a friend, one that understands him, relates to him even. and maybe, at night, when he’s alone and lonely and terribly guilty, he wonders if jun would ever love jisoo knowing everything he’s done, all the people he’s hurt to come so far.

but it’s mid-day, spring sunshine coming through the floor to ceiling walls, and jisoo has always wanted a rich friend. 

[ Prompt ]

❤ : Describe a physical action that shows complete trust.

Jisoo so rarely gives someone her complete trust. They get it in bits and pieces, cherry picked segments of Jisoo’s life they’re allowed to peer into. It’s been so long since someone has had any access to all aspects or her life, whether they chose to look into it or not, and she’s not very fond of the idea of trusting someone so completely either. 

There’s the obvious choice of being physically vulnerable around them: letting them in her house or near her while she rests, allowing them the privilege of going around her apartment unmonitored, petting her cat. 

But complete trust comes only when they become a source of refuge for her - that she can go to them when times are hard or she’s in trouble. Jisoo currently has no one like that, no one she can think of that she could go to when her life becomes unexplainably difficult. To trust someone with her life, in a position where they could so easily take it (or let someone else), is something that terrifies her. 

✗ : Explain how they portray feelings of hostility or dislike.

Jisoo is in a position where if she dislikes something or a situation, she can run from it. It’s a cowardly thing to do, to simply avoid anything that displeases her, but she’s been doing it for so long that it’s become second nature to her. Call it selfish, but it’s how she’s survived for so long.