#kfers

ᯓ★ mental health issues

── personality disorders

specific mental disorders which he suffers from are widely debated, but kfers argue that the cluster b personality disorders (aspd, npd, bpd) hold the most ground

he's self diagnosed as bipolar before, and claims to feel relieved when he's depressed because his mania is exhausting. he's bragged about how this makes him 'just like kanye'

"I feel like the sort of manic-depressive cycle, the irregular sleep schedule, the self-imposed problems — I feel like through this pain I am able to create a show, something innovative, that I wouldn’t be able to do on a rigorous routine.” “When I get in a robust routine, I feel uninspired, I don’t have these bursts of creation, I feel medicated.”

self diagnosed himself with schizoid personality disorder, hard disagree from me. it's hypothesised that he self diagnoses with these disorders because he thinks they're 'cooler' than recognising his real cluster b traits

── depression and suicidal ideations [clips]

nick understands why many young people are suicidal, as this is how he felt in college, he decided the only way to avoid a life of suffering is to kill yourself, until he returned to God for meaning

he doesn't see a difference between hedonism and deriving meaningful joy from life

"life hurts, it literally hurts, all the time" "when you go to bed you will stare at the ceiling and think about how you're going to die"

"the idea that things will make you feel better is actually self defeating. you're actually never going to feel better."

disregards the meaningfulness of having kids and raising a family

nobody can relate to him because he's so intelligent and everything irritates him, leading to him feeling trapped

he 'almost killed himself' before a show in 2022 because he dropped some mcdonalds fries and had to sit in traffic

── anger issues

expresses intense anger, frequently punches walls, which his old green screen used to cover up. he's injured himself multiple times while physically expressing his anger, this behaviour is a common symptom of personality disorders

he used to go in his car to yell and punch the car, but he had to stop after spending thousands of dollars on repairs

once he had such a bad temper tantrum, presumably about jaden, that he kicked a wall, and hurt his foot so badly, that he couldn't walk for days

these days he feels more depressed, opposed to angry

── eating disorder and vomiting

heavily speculated bulimia, or another unspecified eating disorder, as he overeats and then throws his food back up.

bulimia isn't fully substantiated, as he claims that he doesn't purposefully throw up, it's just his bodies natural reaction to eating

but he definitely does have body image issues, he's highly insecure and likes to stay very skinny

this vomiting arc has been affecting him since he was 18, at the point of the thread, he is 23 and still hasn't seen a doctor about it because he also has panic attacks whenever he visits the doctor

it's concerning how nobody in his life has made him go to the doctor over this, though, his mum also claimed to have similar stomach issues when she was younger, which could mean she's giving him advice or believes it to be normal

a remarkable experience he recounted was when he laid on the bathroom floor clutching his stomach, in nothing but a star wars t-shirt and boxers, where he threw up into the toilet, then fell asleep on the floor.

he bargains himself over which foods are acceptable or unacceptable to throw up, if he's eaten something nutritious, he will try to talk himself out of throwing it up. [ed rant clip]

he's gotten 'so good at throwing up' that he doesn't even need to gag himself to do it, he just thinks about something gross

he's gone over 40 hours without eating and sometimes, can't remember the last time he ate.

he goes through eras of binging and fasting

ana posts like a 14 year old girl, "i can see my rib cage again" and has talked about how he stands in front of a mirror naked, to admire his gaunt body (not the image i wanted in my head today)

claims it's not difficult to just stop eating for days not to be fat to justify his dislike of fat people, which is ironic now

"I know I have to to throw up because my heart rate goes up and I'll have like these weird racing thoughts, just these very bizarre repetitive thoughts almost like a daydream, like a fever dream kind of, which immediately stop when I throw up", this supports the hypothesis that his vomiting is panic-induced, instead of an ed

── neurodivergence

speculated adhd and stimulant abuse, specifically adderall. suggested by his long rants and aggressive, fixated mood

he's self diagnosed as autistic before, probably as a joke, but many kfers find this to be an accurate diagnosis (i'm skeptical)

quite germaphobic and hates messiness in general, he had bizarre cleaning sessions of jaden's apartment, has made references over the years of hating having a messy flatmate and expressed concerns over fecal matter on objects which are frequently handled (e.g. money, door knobs)

self insert, but this, in combination with his disordered eating, leads me to believe he might have some obsessive compulsive tendencies

── anxiety

claims to be kind of agoraphobic, he hates being out in public as he feels like he's being constantly watched

he has to work himself to even get into the store, and once he's in, he gets very overstimulated - he forgets how to walk, has trouble navigating the isles and is worried somebody is going to start looking at the same item as him.

he feels embarrassed to buy unironic clothes because he's insecure that people might think they're ugly (.. dude)

he's self diagnosed himself as having anxiety, but he thinks it makes him sound cute in a tumblr girl way ^_^

he stayed in his dorm most of the time in college, as he was anxious about bad things happening to him and his family

he doesn't drink as he hates the idea of being impaired, he had a panic attack in high school when learning what happens to you when you take drugs

── insomnia

his fucked up circadian rhythm means he usually only wakes up ~1 (not even, these days) before doing his show. mf is a night owl to say the least! it's assumed he suffers from some type of insomnia

he's gone over 3 days without sleeping before

he's tried all the over the counter medication, but he really struggles to sleep due to overthinking. if something, like a text, makes him very anxious, this will keep him awake for days

── early life

this is highly speculative, but some think he was a sexual abuse victim as a child. this is backed up by his hatred for women, 'all women are pedophiles' quote, being into dark pornography, casually excusing and endorsing pedophilia

it's also worth noting this can trigger early puberty, which he experienced

he has a very close relationship with his mum and loves her deeply, it's unclear how this would factor into possible sa and his hatred for women, it definitely adds another layer to his psyche

describes himself as a very isolated, empty, melancholy child. he says he has been like this his whole life, suggesting a genetic component to his possible behavioural disorders

ever since he was a kid that he didn't even want to be happy and didn't understand the idea, he's stated multiple times that when he was in middle school he realized he would never be happy so he decided to be "significant" instead.

never really had a male role model, he couldn't relate to his dad, as his dad loved sports and tried to push this onto him.

ᯓ★ physical health issues

── physiology

short, skelly, unathletic physique with overextended knees

double jointed, allegedly hypermobile, as seen in his knees and his freakishly overextended fingers

terminal manlet standing at allegedly 5'9, but he really, he is closer to being 5'6

thinks lifting is a cope and refuses to work on his body or health, leading to him being extremely unmuscular and (now) skinnyfat

awful head-forward posture and sloped shoulders

jaden claims nick is very self-conscious about his hairy belly (no high quality photo of his belly, unfortunately)

nick is not beating the small penis/underdeveloped genitalia allegations, this is not rlly based off sufficient evidence, it can be discounted

though, they often link photos of him infamously sitting cross legged to substantiate this theory

severe deviated septum, another test tube mishap, causing his constant sniffling. this makes it hard for him to breathe, disrupting his sleep

slightly buck-toothed, he's self conscious about his teeth as he chipped his bottom tooth and was too scared to get it fixed

his body is severely malnourished, possibly suffers from a multitude of vitamin deficiencies. this is the reason for his previously gaunt physique and current skinny-fat physique

often ill, suggesting a weak immune system, and was famously a mask wearer during the pandemic despite his position being anti-mask. also suffers with severe allergies

described as 'anatomically homosexual' by farmers

── diet and gastrointestinal issues

of course, his diabolical diet, consisting solely of fast food, most of the food he binges, he is known to throw up, similarly to a cat, immediately after eating [jaden clip] [nick tweet]

speculated lactose intolerance (definitely true)

there is a picture of his literal poo on this thread, which he posted on twitter. i forgot it's there. it's fucking disgusting.

more evidence of his stomach issues, as he becomes really sick every time he's a passenger in a car

some presume this is due to mental disorders, such as depression and bipolar, which can affect your gut biome. stomach issues can also be hereditary, which tracks, as his mum also had stomach issues at his age. others speculate he may have crohn's.

he was allegedly almost pre-diabetic and is at risk of t2 diabetes

he got ill for 3 days because of a mcdonalds pumpkin spiced latte, this man was not meant to be on this planet i swear

he is very sensitive to physiological sesnations, e.g. spikes in blood sugar and blood pressure after eating, may be what causes panic attacks for him, causing him to vomit

the vomiting relieves his panic attack symptoms, reinforcing himself & his body that this is how he can overcome panic attacks

── early life

nick is an ivf baby who was birthed through a c-section

traumatised by high school sports due to how chronically unathletic he is

nick was almost put on puberty blockers, as he hit puberty prematurely and the doctors said that he wouldn't reach his full height potential [clip]

vague suggestion from a jaden superchatter of nick having a 'botched circumcision', jaden says nick had a circumcision later in life and remembers undergoing it, clip got pulled sadly

nick had to be bottle fed as a baby, further leading kfers to believe he was not meant to be born and contributing to his weak immune system in the present

low testosterone assumed as his dad has gynecomastia, which also could've caused his infertility, leading to nick being an ivf baby

had a "very severe illness" around 3 and was at the doctor a lot for years. claims only 7 people in America have this illness, had to go on antibiotics to treat it

had a horrible stutter in kindergarten and had to go to speech therapy

thinks he should have gone to physical therapy too "where you learn how to use your body because you're retarded", i personally think he has dyspraxia but this isn't mentioned on kfs

claims to have had infant jaundice, was born yellow and had to be put under a heat lamp

finally, as a wise farmer once said, "The more I learn about Nick, the more I realize how much he isn't supposed to be alive. It's like God has tried multiple times to ensure he doesn't exist but modern medicine makes him stay alive."

doctor sera's unprofessional opinion ˎˊ˗

now, i'm actually no doctor, but i'm very interested in psychology and physiology, so obviously, i've drawn my own conclusions on which disorders i think hold the most ground, based off this information and what else i know about nick. these are up for debate, of course, and i'm interested to know what you think!!

── .✦ mental!

most likely: narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, a panic disorder which plays into his disordered eating, insomnia, an unspecified eating disorder (ednos)

somewhat likely: bulimia, afrid, anxiety, bipolar, depression (i believe this is secondary to a personality disorder, rather than being a standalone diagnosis), antisocial personality disorder, agoraphobia, ocd/obsessive compulsive traits

unlikely: autism, adhd, schizoid personality disorder, delusional/schizoaffective personality disorder, ptsd/csa, avoidant personality disorder

── .✦ physical!

confirmed: deviated septum, infant jaundice, ivf baby, bottle fed, speech impediment in early life, unknown highly rare disorder, premature puberty, allergies

speculated: inherited gastrointestinal disorder, dyspraxia, malnutrition (disorders like anaemia), hyper-mobility, lactose intolerance, weak immune system, anaemia, botched circumcision (crazy note to end on LMAO)