#keepyourpower

Last Friday night, one of my dreams became a reality when I was awarded the Business Women’s Regional Business Achiever Award for 2016.

For those of you that haven’t been exposed to it, the Business Women’s Association, or BWA is the largest and most prominent association of business and professional women in South Africa. It plays a key role in highlighting the current status of women in leadership and acts as a lobby group that advocates on women's business issues in an effort to transform the economy.

My journey began on the 8th of April 2016, when I received a letter from the BWA to say that I had been nominated for the annual achiever’s award. As a passionate spokesperson for equality and the empowerment of women, merely being recognised by my community and fellow business women as a candidate for this award was an incredible honour.  

The initial criteria for the award were simple. Firstly the nominee needed to be a women in business. Great I ticked that box. Secondly each nominee needed to be identified and recommended by members of the BWA. She needed to be a leader and a role model to other women, while actively making a difference in her community with regards to transformation, and she needed to epitomise the values of BWA.

The first step of the process was a nominee briefing session at the Durban ICC. So off I went, very proud of myself for being nominated. I was looking forward to the tea and muffins, and hopefully some good speakers for the morning. It was nothing like that: As I arrived, I noticed that the women in the conference room were many, and they were important. All of a sudden, I felt much smaller than I am, and I questioned the sanity of whoever had nominated me.

We were taken through what was required of us, and the four month process that we would go through. It was at that moment I stopped writing notes, and simply thought to myself, there is no way I am going to be able to do this. I was sitting in a room of women that I had always looked up to and respected – women that I knew by name, not because they knew me, but because they had inspired me.  

Then the 2015 winner presented to us. She started off by telling us how shocked she was when she was nominated, and I connected with that. She then told us about a conversation she had with her husband the day of her nomination. She asked him who was she to be nominated for this award, and he replied, “Who are you not to be?”. Instantly I realised that now was the time to back myself. I was committed. It is my purpose to lead by example, and this was an ideal opportunity to motivate, empower and represent other women during the process.

Over the period of two months, I had to put together my portfolio of evidence. There were strict guidelines as to what needed to be described: My career to date, my qualifications, any research completed, my community involvement, my dreams and aspirations, and my purpose. This must have been the most empowering thing I have ever done. We never take the time to be so introspective, and it was clear that I had been on this journey for years. Writing it all down and collecting all the evidence created a book of my life, of my dreams, and of my worth.  

I had to submit copies of my portfolio at the BWA office in person, and it was as if I was handing over my soul. Nervously, I waited to hear if I had made it through to the next round, comfortable in the idea that I had already gained so much from the nomination.

When I received the notification that I was selected for the first round of judging, I was petrified. The judges were prominent executives from well-known organisations, and I nervously noticed that there was no one from the BWA on the judging panel.    

The judging process was extremely nerve-wracking. Regardless of how prepared I was, I was not prepared for some of their questions. They were tough. Some were about my career, my contribution to the bottom line of organisations that I had worked for, and my community involvement. I was ready for those ones. Then I was asked the question about my purpose, my dreams, and my leadership. I got a lump in my throat when I spoke about women that I had mentored and coached, women that I had counselled at trauma centres, and the initiatives and values that I stood by regardless of the situation. After every question and every round of judging, I only felt stronger, more certain of who I am and what I stood for.  

I received an email from the BWA a few days after the last round of judging, notifying me that I had been selected as one of the three finalists for my category. I couldn’t believe it. Immediately the nerves set in again. As if I hadn’t been stretched enough, now I had to be interviewed on film for the media.

There are no words to describe how badly the media filming went for me. It was held at the Coastlands Hotel in Umhlanga under many bright lights and a counting down camera man. To give you an idea, it took me twenty minutes to complete a sixty second interview. Very unlike my usual eloquent self! 

Finally, after four months of stretching myself far beyond my comfort zone, backing myself all the way, and an unwavering commitment to lead by example, I found myself on the stage at the ICC Convention Centre as a finalist for the BWA Regional Achiever Awards for 2016. Despite the compulsory rehearsals and the motivational talks we received from the BWA Chairman, nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

Sitting there in front of a sea of important faces, both influential men and women, I wondered if they knew that less than eight hours earlier I was in my pink fleece pajamas with my four year old son’s batman beanie on my head…. Right in front of me was a screen, and to my horror they started playing the very, very well edited version of my media interview. Instead of cringing in the chair, I was bursting with pride. And in that moment on the stage, I realised that I was enough. It was an incredibly powerful moment of self-awareness and self-love.

There was another significant and personal moment for me that evening that I would like to share with you: As some of you know, my mom is losing her battle with cancer and she was not there at the awards evening. After the award was announced, and I left the stage, I arrived at my table, where my father, sisters, colleagues, and my husband congratulated me. Then out of no-where this elegant lady, that I had never met before, approached me and gave me a big, motherly hug. She quietly whispered in my ear that she was proud of me. As it turned out she was one of the other finalists’ mothers, but it was if my mom was there, telling me how proud she was.