ik im always saying that the orv fandom should stop going so hard for 1minute but im not doing myself any favours thinking too much about how kdj's first kill was kim namwoon (someone he identified with very strongly; someone he saw himself in; someone he couldn't bear to leave inside the story) and his last murder attempt was quite literally himself TWICE (through his fading away as the oldest dream and also literally trying to strike a younger version of himself). his first and last acts of violence are all against himself, and not even sacrificing himself so his companions might live but going above and beyond that. why is his self loathing so great adn his complete and utter disregard for his own life so immeasurable that he must do this every single time. ofc kdjc's came back for a silver of hope this man could be alright. bitch i would too
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I could never really parse out why he was blurry/censored to others. I didnāt see a reason for it, you know? Why hide his face? Sangah saw him before the apocalypse started too, like why make it a big secret? Itās not like anyone had seen OD before to recognize current KDJ through.
But then I thought:
When it comes to our own mental image of ourself, we often picture ourself as unclear, more of a vague representation rather than looking in a mirror. What if that was the same for Kim Dokja? He can think of the features he has if he focuses, trying to picture them, but the whole picture isnāt really there without looking in a mirror/camera. Which is very similar to how the others described being able to see KDJās features if they tried, but how he was impossible to picture otherwise.
So, my new head canon for Dokja being blurry/indistinct is that itās not actually because heās censored but because the information isnāt actually, fully available. The whole world of ORV is built out of KDJās dream, his imagination. So then, if his own mental image of himself isnāt clear, his subconscious could not create himself properly in the now-crafted world.Ā
I ALSO think it could potentially be attributed to him no longer remembering/knowing what he looked like, after being OD for so long. He could have an idea of what he looked like as an adult but not clear enough to make him look normal, and the memories of what he looked like might have just beenĀ gone by that point. He wouldnāt be able to find out on accident either, since the face he would see in the windows would be that of child.
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Helloā ORV whump prompt because Iām Thinking So Many Things and want to see what cool authors like you think about it!
Scenario fic: one member is brought back to the event that led to the first meeting between the party. Of course itās our Rat that disappears in a poof of sparkles, and of course KimCom think the first people to meet were KDJ and YSA so they rush to head to Minosoftā¦ BUT!
a) on the way they pass a certain all boys school at Just The Right Time
b) LSK is there and knows the Truth and Freaks Out
c) they donāt find him in time and track him down when heās on the verge of d**th
Dealerās choice hehe!
hello! i finally sat down and started writing through this ask! i appreciate that you came into my askbox and immediately slammed the button on 'misery', always a fun time lol
anyway. i have ideas. unfortunately if i attempted to fully finished these ideas, you would probably see this ask either in a year with a full fic or in uh, never, so you get this.
There is a teenager.
She looks much like any other teenager bored out of their mind in class.Ā Chin propped up on one hand, other hand wielding a pan tapping out a distracted staccato on her notebook, perfectly in time with the tap-tap-tap of her foot, watching the blackboard up front but mostly watching the clock above it, waiting for everything to be done.Ā
Sheās so sick of class.Ā Sitting in one place, trying and failing to listen to a teacher saying shit she doesnāt care about ā ahhh, but sheās got to care about it, doesnāt she?Ā Gotta make sure she knows enough to score good on the CSAT, except thatās never going to happen because sheās got shit-for-brains, shit-for-grades.Ā At this point, wouldnāt it be easier just to drop out?Ā Who wants to live this kind of life?Ā Not her.Ā Not anyone else.Ā Who likes school?
ā¦Yeah.Ā Jung Heewon was like that, as a kid.
āHey, you,ā Jung Heewon says.
That image of her younger self ignores her.Ā So does everyone else in her old middle school classroom.Ā The teacher drones on, uninterrupted ā and it really is a droning, the kind of indistinct murmur you hear as background noise, only occasionally cut with actual lecture material.
Everything here is indistinct.Ā Thereās a vague sense of blurriness about everything.Ā The faces of her teacher and the few classmates she remember are clear, or at least, almost clear.Ā Everyone else?Ā Faceless.Ā Unmemorable.
ā¦ Maybe thatās the point.
ā¦
Yoo Sangah likes to think her memory is good, but truthfully, itās hard to remember the faces of her middle school classmates when she hasnāt talked to them in years.Ā A few that she kept in contact with, sure, but everyone else, sheās likely to get wrong.
Theyāre in some kind of scenario space right now, and if the scenario is drawing things from her memory, that might be why everything is soā¦ unclear.Ā Unreal, almost, the edges of reality soft instead of well-defined, only sharpening around her younger self as she files out of the classroom, chatting with ā is that Ahn Minji?Ā Yoo Sangah hadnāt thought about her in years.
Things only get worse as they head outside. The younger Yoo Sangah is a beacon of clarity, but everything else is just fog, white and dense and casting a featureless pall over everything.
ā¦No.Ā Wait.Ā Not quite.
ā¦
Lee Hyunsung had taken some time to tear his eyes away from that boy heād once been, talking to one of his seniors ā āI guess Iām not really sure what to do.Ā I donāt have to think about it if I go directly into the military after high school, right?āĀ In the end, though, there wasnāt any use to paying attention to that sort of thing, not when he was alone.Ā He hadnāt entered the scenario alone, so where were the others?
Not in his school, heād looked.Ā The only other thing he could do is go straight into that strange white fog, even if it meant he was walking blindly towards nowhere.
Except it hadnāt turned out like that.Ā In the backdrop of nothingness, he could make out a building, getting clearer and clearer as he ran towards it.Ā So well-defined ā that had to mean something, didnāt it?Ā Ā
ā¦
Shin Yoosung pressed her nose against the glass of the window.Ā That building, the only one sheād seen in what felt like forever, was getting closer.Ā Maybe that was where the train would finally stop.
Maybe the train wouldnāt stop at all.
But no, thatād be weird, wouldnāt it?Ā There had to be an end to the scenario somewhere, and it couldnāt end if she was just stuck on a train that never stopped.Ā Or, well, maybe it could, but ā the point.Ā The point was that the scenario had to have some way of ending it.Ā It couldnāt go on forever, that wasnāt any kind of proper entertainment at all.Ā That was just throwing an incarnation into an infinite commercial break, wasnāt it?Ā No dokkaebi would let that kind of scenario pass.
Yeah.Ā There had to be a way out, right?
[Ahjussi, are you there?] she sent up tentatively.Ā Ā
Still nothing.Ā There had been nothing for a while.Ā But she had to keep trying, didnāt she?
ā¦
Lee Gilyoung had been trying.
But there werenāt any bugs on this train.Ā Sometimes, heād get the faintest impression that there was something there, and then ā nothing.Ā If he could get a bug, any bug, he could ā he didnāt know.Ā Scout.Ā Get some information.Ā Call a plague against anyone moving against him.Ā Something.
That was Plan A.Ā Plan A wasnāt working out, so he was stuck with plan B, which was this: if he kept running through this fucking train, heād run out of carriages eventually.Ā Heād run into something eventually.Ā Maybe the conductorās carriage, and then he could press some buttons and force it to stop, or maybe drive it into a building or whatever.
ā¦
Yoo Joonghyuk pressed his hands into his eyes.
Heād really thought that he had died.Ā Ended regression three, back to the start at regression 4, back in that same train carriage all over again, and this time with a death he hadnāt even seen coming.
Heād died three times now, but the shock of it, even though it wasnāt real ā hard to snap out of without a scenario in his ears telling to kill someone to live.
What had happened?Ā Ā
There had been a scenario.Ā Ā
He had been with his companions.Ā There had been a scenario, and Kim Dokja had vanished.Ā Then that subscenario had kicked inā¦ what was it?
ā¦Ā Ā
[Sub ScenarioĀ ā Will to Survive]
Category: Sub (Personal)
Difficulty: ????
Clear Conditions: Help Incarnation, Kim Dokja, realize the will to survive.
Time Limit: ????
Compensation: ????
Failure: ????
ā¦
Kim Dokja blinks.
He had the strangest feeling that he had forgotten something.Ā Something important.
ā¦It canāt have been that important if heās forgotten about it.Ā Heād already run through his list of things to do, anyway, not that the list was very long.Ā He supposed the right thing to do was to talk with somebody, but really, he had no one to talk to, so there wasnāt any point.
There was maybe Mother, butā¦ no, she didnāt count.Ā He didnāt talk to her, he talked at her, and she never cared enough to give a response back.Ā If she, by some miracle, cared enough to be upset about what he was doing, then ā well.Ā She could get over it.Ā There was nothing wrong with him enjoying the sunset.Ā There was nothing wrong with anything he did after that, either.
With that thought firmly in mind, he took one last breath of the air ā cool, refreshing ā and headed towards the edge of the roof.
