#kazt

If you were to actually ask Donny about his relationship with Percival and the gang, or about his relationship with his old circus crew, hell, ask him about his uncle and Edlin and he would describe them all the same, the best people he ever met.

For different reasons of course. But out of all the people he’s met in his admittedly short time on earth, these were the best.

His uncle was strict, and had this tendency to want to push him past any normal human limit when it came to training, but he also taught Donny how to read, and held his hand during walks so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowds. He cared enough about Donny to be sad when he left, and was sure enough of him to be disappointed when he found him in that tavern.

Edlin was once Donny’s best friend, well his only friend, but still. He stood by Donny’s side through all the harsh training and got treats with him afterwards. They compared moves and gushed about all the cool adventures they would go on when they became Holy Knights. And even though Edlin lost his way for a moment, Donny had already abandoned his way, so he’s not going to be the one to judge a friend who followed his bad lead. 

The circus wasn’t his original plan when he left Lionas, but running into it and being asked to join was nice, he was a bit of a pessimist and was concerned they would grow tired of him. However, Elva was in fact excited to not be the youngest brat in the circus, she would flaunt her maturedness introducing the “youngest” member of their gang, despite only being four months older than Donny.

And Kats took all of Donny’s moods in stride, even on those days when Donny himself was sick of his own attitude, Katz would just grab them a snack and sit out with Donny until he would either talk about what was bothering him or the feeling had passed them by. Donny had a grandfather in Lionas, but rarely saw the man. Nowadays when he thinks of grandfathers, all he can envision is Kazt.

Now meeting Percy was either a curse or a blessing, he leans towards blessing most days but sometimes he’ll wish to just be back in his boring old circus where nothing happened, nobody expected anything special from him, and most importantly, nobody would be trying to kill him. But then he’ll think of Edlin, and what could have happened to his friend. And he’ll think of himself, and how scared and angry he was, and how he was stuck in his ways. 

Then he’ll think of being carried on those bright green magic wings, how amazing this person was, how they fought side by side to protect their friends and each other. At those moments he’ll go to Percival and thank him. Percy never knows why, whenever he asks Donny just smiles and keeps walking.

Naseins scared him. Full stop. He won’t even try to lie to him, fuck it, that kid shakes him down to his bones. From when they first met to now. It did change though. 

At first he was simply scared of this boogeyman that scared the fairies, that had Percival, his young, naive friend, in his clutches. He was terrified of this madman that they spoke of, the blood that dripped from their mouth like a vampire. Yeah, no, thank you. Despite Doloras’ cries of dismissal, he was scared. 

Now though, after getting to know this shy, red faced, curious little weirdo?

Now he’s just scared they’re gonna hurt themselves, all the poisons they consume? All the times they threw themselves next to Percy, even though they had no such “Prophecy Magic” to protect themselves? The times they would push their body to the limit? Naseins was far braver than Donny and it scared Donny that he would lose them, but he’s learned to trust his crazy little friend, after all, they were powerful in their own way. And if he does double checks after dark on them? Or keep a slightly more watchful eye on them more than others in battle? Well, that’s Donny’s business. 

Anghalhad was a damn good swordswomen, and he grew up watching the likes of Lord Gilthunder and Lady Guila, so he knew what he was talking about. Ann was good at what she did, and what she did was kick ass and see through all the lies of the world. Her lie detector thing was odd, but no more odd than Nasiens’ lip biting or Percy’s lack of knowledge about… Well, everything. 

Donny could handle odd, and he trusted Ann enough to lead them (Though most of the lead was taken by Sin), so he could trust her to keep a secret if he needed, and would try to never lie to the girl. 

It was honestly a breath of fresh air after the gullible Percival, and though Nasiens knew more, they were just as easy to fool. So to have a comrade who took absolutely none of his shit, was nice. She reminded him of all the best parts of Edlin and Elva, a fellow budding Holy knight, and a begrudgingly nice ‘Elder Sister’. She was annoying, but he respected her.

Sin-No, Lance apparently, was an asshole and a big ol’ bag of lies and deceit. But despite that, Donny found himself trusting the Fox-Boy. 

Not even Donny could tell you when that happened. 

Maybe it was how the fox would just let Donny and Percy grab him whenever they felt overwhelmed, maybe it was how Lance had saved Elva and Kazt by moving the two kids away from the Dark Knight, maybe it was how Lance had watched them, being a constant source of protection and security even if they didn’t know it, maybe it was how he stood up to Uncle Howser, how Lance defended him despite Donny not seeing anything worth defending about himself. 

Maybe it was how even though he could have thrown Donny and Percival into Lionas right away, he took them on the journey which led them to finding Nasiens, Anghalhad, Edlin, Howser, and their own magic, they took the long way round, but it was the right way.

Actually, now that he thought about it, Donny could tell you how it happened.

Donny cares about his friends and his family, he won’t run away again, he has something to protect now, he has goals to run towards. He has a purpose in life and he’s not gonna leave that.

Donny would die for his friends, he would fight for his friends, he would fight by their side, whether they’re fighting a Patricidal maniac, a weird grotesque grandpa, or King Arthur himself, Donny will stay by his friend's side.

Donny cares for his friends, but he doesn’t love them. 

He knows that that sounds rather cruel, but he doesn’t mean it in a bad way. He can’t give his love to his friends for the same reason he can’t give them rides with his magic, he can’t yet control it.

He doesn’t tell them he doesn’t love them, that’s rude. And he will eventually, so it’s okay. 

But right now it would be too dangerous, right now his love could hurt, and he would rather die than hurt his friends. 

He remembers how much his mother and father loved each other, hardly ever away from each other, always so close, always spending more time together then with even their families, then with him.. 

He saw how much his father would love his mother, to the point of hurting her. 

How he would be so afraid to lose her he would lock her inside the house, how he would throw things and scream when he found another man talking to her, how he would hit her to make her realize how she hurt him.

He remembered his father loving him too. How he would never let Donny bring home friends because they could be telling him lies, how he would let Donny use his mothers powder so he didn’t trouble Uncle Howser with taking care of his bruises, how when Donny did wrong he would always use the whip to make sure his son would never sin again. 

Donny didn’t understand when he was a child, but his mother explained it to him one day, when the stinging of cuts on his legs kept him in bed, she layed in bed with him and told him how much his father loved them, how afraid he was to lose them, how if he did hurt them, it was only because he loved them too much.

Donny never blamed his father, he wasn’t a Holy Knight, he was only a fisherman, so he probably never needed that much self-control, but Donny was a coward, he was afraid to hurt other people, and his mother asked him to never be hurt again, so Donny decided to never love anyone that much, never to point he would lose himself in that love, to the point he would hurt, or be hurt.

But lately, he thinks he wouldn’t mind being so loved by his friends that they hurt him, his mother would forgive him, he was sure.