#kaydoe

The cabin lighting has been reduced to shipboard night, and everyone seems to have found a corner to slip into for a few minutes rest.

Everyone.

Poe Dameron isn't one for feeling helpless. He's more the shoot-first-and-ask-questions-never type, but right now, he's feeling discouraged down to his very marrow. 'Everyone' consists of about a dozen people and 'driods; all that's left of the once-mighty Resistance. So many friends, people he'd fought beside, bled for and pledged to die for if necessary, and they're all just gone, cut down by the First Order in a ruthless display of power that had sucked whatever hope they'd had left right out the airlock.

He wonders if things would have been different if he hadn't pushed so hard to destroy the Dreadnaught during the evacuation. General Organa would tell him to get his head out of his afterburners, that there's nothing he could have done about the low fuel reserves or the First Order simply waiting for them to stall so they could pick off the Resistance ships one at a time.

Doesn't change the fact that he feels like he should have done something more, or maybe just listened to the General when she'd tried to call off the attack instead of charging ahead and giving the First Order time to put a trace on the Raddus. Retreat has never been his strong suit, and doing something has always been preferable to doing nothing, but sometimes being smart is better than being brave. It's the lesson the General had been trying to teach him for so long, but he's just too lazerbrained to get it.

"Stop."

Poe raises his head, peering up at the shadow that's fallen over him. He ghosts a smile when he recognizes Kaydel Connix and her cute-as-a-button buns silhouetted against the dim overhead lights.

"Stop what?" he asks quietly.

She settles down beside him, not far from the alcove where Finn is curled up with Rose Tico, practically willing her to be okay. The kid's come a long way, and Poe is as surprised as anyone that he's taken to Rose; they're such opposites, but maybe that's why they seem to work.

Kaydel curls into him, nudging until his arms settle around her shoulders. She presses her forehead into his cheek, taking a deep breath, and then another. He can feel the stress bleeding away, so he pulls her closer, tucking her body into his. She's been busy since the jump to light speed, finding everyone a spot to bunk, a bit of water and food. It's what she's good at—organizing—so he'd left her to it while he'd… ruminated.

"You get everyone settled?"

She sighs. "Yes. Rey and Chewie are sitting up in the cockpit, and I left the General in the Captain's quarters to get some sleep."

Poe figures that's the last place Leia Organa wants to be, a room filled with the echoes of the man she's only just lost after finding him again. But he also knows that the General has never pushed away the hard things, and she's not likely to start now. And despite their dire circumstances, she'd been full of hope before she'd been bundled off to bed. Even through the sadness pressing in on him, he'd felt that spark.

"At least I got you to stop," she murmurs.

"Stop what?" he asks again.

"Brooding," she says, snuggling still closer, draping her legs over his until she's practically in his lap. He tugs her the rest of the way, wrapping both arms around her until she's pressed into him as close as she can be. "Mmmm, better."

Poe huffs a laugh. "I'm not a piece of furniture, but I'm glad you're comfortable. And for the record, I wasn't brooding."

"Oh?" she asks. "What would you call it, then?"

"Thinking," he says. "Ruminating, maybe. But not brooding."

"Right," she says, clearly not convinced. She pulls back a little so she can look him in the eye. "You're brooding, wondering if you could have done anything differently to get a different outcome."

"How did you—"

"Pfft," she says, waving a hand, "you're a pilot. 'If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't, it paint it green.' Isn't that what you pilots always say?"

"I think you have me confused with ground troops," he says on a huff of laughter.

Kaydel shrugs. "Eh, whatever. My point is, you always need to be doing something, but sometimes, the best course of action is to wait. Not easy for you, I get it."

"I'm a pilot, Kay," he says quietly. "It's my job to shoot at things. If I can't do that, what good am I?"

"You know," she says, "there's a saying on Kashyyyk: 'The wroshyr tree dreams of one day touching the stars; but until that day comes, it offers shelter to the treelizard.'"

Poe tips his head back, staring up at the ceiling of the Millennium Falcon as Kaydel snuggles up with him once more. He's reminded of the conversation he had with the General on board the evacuation shuttle. She'd been trying to tell him the same thing, perhaps a bit more pointedly, but he thinks he got what she was saying. Don't try to be the big hero, just do the job in front of you, no matter how big or small.

But that still doesn't change the fact that he was the Squadron Commander, and all those people were lost on his watch. He's going to feel that responsibility for a long time to come.

"She lost them too, you know," Kaydel says quietly. "You think she feels any less responsible?"

He opens his mouth to dispute that, but he knows he can't. For all that he was in charge of the squadron when they lost the bombers, General Organa was in charge of the Resistance. They were her losses, too. All the bomber pilots, the cruisers, the evac shuttles, the ground troops. They were hers before they were his.

"How does she do it?" he asks into the silence. "How does she come back from the losses time and time again?"

"Hope," Kaydel whispers. "She has hope." She pulls back and looks at him, her expression soft and kind of sad in the low light. "Hope. The spark that will light the fire—"

"That will win the battles before us," he finishes for her.

"It's the truth that this Resistance was built on, and the Rebellion before it," she says. "We honor the sacrifices of those we lose, because it's their hope in a better future that provides the fuel for the days ahead. It's not going to be easy—it never is—but as long as we have hope, the future is ours."

He reaches up and cups her cheek, his heart singing with love for this spitfire of a woman. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she says, grinning. "Now, we've lived to fight another day. What say we celebrate?"

Poe raises an eyebrow. "What exactly do you have in mind?"

"Just this," she says. 

She leans in close, pressing her lips to his. His heart skips a beat, and then he's kissing her, pulling her close as he pours all his loss, longing, and yes, hope into the kiss. His hands roam everywhere they can reach, not trying to excite, more like making sure she really is here and whole. He can feel her hands in his hair, holding on as if afraid he'll disappear if she lets go. He knows the feeling; he's more grateful than he can ever say that she'd come through the evacuation and subsequent attacks alive and well.

Finally, after long minutes, he gentles the kiss, pulling back until their foreheads are pressed together. "I love you," he whispers.

He can feel her smile more than he can see it. "I know," she says. "I love you, too. Always."

"If you two are finished making out over there, I'd like to get some sleep."

Poe chuckles as he casts a glance over at Finn. "Sorry, buddy."

Kaydel burrows into his chest, hiding her shaking shoulders as she tries to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside her. Poe presses a kiss to her head, his own chuckle slipping out between breaths.

"Try to get some sleep, sweetheart," he whispers. "Big day tomorrow."

Kaydel hums, but it seems she's already halfway to sleeping because she just goes limp in his arms, her breathing steady as she drifts off. Poe presses another kiss to her hair and tips his own head back to lean against the wall. It's not the most comfortable place to sleep, sprawled out on the floor with his back against the wall, but he figures as long as he has his friends around him, and Kaydel in his arms, he can face anything. Even an uncertain future.

~Finis

Only lieutenant Connix has learnt her lesson from last time. And she wasn’t letting herself fall for his plan or get attracted into his games again.

‘Come on, Kaydel!’ Poe supplicated her favour.

His charm and beautiful eyes were of no avail.

‘No, Poe! Not this time’

‘Rey is definitely up to something!’

‘You said the same about Holdo. Aren’t you exceedingly suspicious? Learn to trust her, like Leia does’

‘Look, I promised Finn I won’t say anything. But rumour has it she’s after a First Order cargo. Where does Rey have that information from? That’s all I want to know. But I cannot do it without your magical trackers, can I? Come on, be a good girl!’ 

He put on his most compelling smile, aware of the magnetic power he possessed over her.

‘Quite unfair of you to call me a good girl when you’re always asking me to do bad things...’ she observed.

He felt her better judgment started melting. Her will was about to give way to his plead.

‘Does that mean you’ll help me?’

She smiled conspiratorially in response to his contaminating childish gladness.

‘It’s the last time I do something for you!’ she promised.

‘I love you!’ he bursted with a sudden effusion of unrepressed enthusiasm.

Force knows she wished that much was true.

Poe looked up from where he’d been handing Finn off to the medics. “What was that, buddy?”

<LIEUTENANT CONNIX IS COMING.> The droid wiggled a little as he beeped out his message.

“Oh- oh, cool, good, uh- Finn, man, you alright?”

“So long as they get this stuff off me, sure,” Finn muttered, still sounding pretty dazed. As it was, Poe only sort of knew who Rey was and he wasn’t completely sure where she was beyond the fact that she hadn’t been on D’Qar during the evacuation, so Finn still wasn’t completely happy; the leaking medical bags weren’t helping either.

“Okay, that’s good, I’m just gonna step out for a second, alright? We’ll talk more in a bit, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I’ll find you if you don’t, don’t worry,” Finn echoed back with a sort of dry, teasing threat. Poe flashed him a winning grin and stepped out of the infirmary, tapping the frame of the door as he went.

Poe had barely turned to face the hallway properly before something- someone- fairly slammed into him, hitting him and then dragging him off to the side, into a maintenance alcove near the entrance of the infirmary. Poe barely had time to find his bearings before arms were wrapped around his neck, and lips were pressed against his; he knew who it was, though, because there was only one person who’d do something like this, and he melted into the kiss with a deep, abiding sense of relief.

When they parted, Poe sighed. “You made it off before they fired on the base.”

“Naturally,” Kaydel said, as though her safety and continued existence had never been in question or peril. That was typical of her; the day they both died and found themselves in the afterlife she’d probably regard it with a shrug and an unconcerned sniff. “Great job with the Dreadnaught.”

His smiled flickered. “Well, actually it was Paige who destroyed it.”

Kaydel nodded, pulling back, arms sliding off his shoulders. “True. We can drink to her later when we have a chance.”

“Definitely.” Poe’s hands slid up and over her shoulders, letting his forehead fall to bump against her head.

“I heard your exchange with Hux.”

Poe grinned widely. “Did you?”

Kaydel lifted her eyes to his as best she could without shaking him off, and cocked her eyebrow at him. “I can’t believe you went with a mom joke.”

“Look, these hoity-toity First Order snobs can’t handle jokes of any kind, and I thought I might make a low-key assassination attempt on Hux by seeing if I couldn’t give him an aneurysm.” He paused. “In fairness, since we blew up his little pet-project yesterday, I’d take a pretty good bet that the Dreadnaught being destroyed might be the final straw for Snoke. He doesn’t strike me as a galactic overlord who takes failure well.”

“I’d feel worse for Hux if he wasn’t a raging psychopath.” Kaydel leaned back and studied Poe’s face carefully. “Speaking of raging psychopaths, I can still see a bit of that bruise near your temple- how’s your head?”

Poe flinched reflexively when her fingers came up to brush the area, and he jerked back slightly. Kaydel’s eyebrows popped up, and before she could speak he assured her, “I’m fine. It’s fine. It’s a lot better.”

“From yesterday?”

“Absolutely.”

She didn’t believe him and that wasn’t even a little bit of a surprise; the battle was lost the moment he tried to pretend it wasn’t a problem. Even without her sharp observational skills, they’d known each other long enough to know the other’s tics and mannerisms. And Kaydel was generally pretty good about knowing when he was lying through his teeth, especially about things like this.

“You need to see a doctor.”

“I did that yesterday; they cleared me.”

Alright, so maybe they didn’t clear him per se, but it wasn’t as though he could sit back and chill while the remnants of the Resistance ran for their lives from the First Order. He had to be ready to fly at a moment’s notice if he was needed, and chances were, he was going to be needed in the upcoming days.

Kaydel regarded him with doubt. “They cleared you?”

“They cleared me.”

“Why do I feel like you’re pulling one on me?”

“I’m not pulling one on you. Hey, so, later,” Poe swerved away from that minefield as easily as he piloted his X-Wing, “Once things have settled down, maybe we can sit down, have a proper dinner? Or at least whatever passes for proper when you’re running on limited supplies and fleeing for your life?”

Kaydel rolled her eyes shut. “Fine.” Her eyes snapped open again, and she fixed Poe with a sharp look. “I’m watching that bruise, Poe. You know I’m more than capable of hog-tying you and dragging you to the infirmary if I think you need it.”

“I don’t doubt it for a second,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. And he meant it- he’d seen Kaydel drop guys bigger than him before. “Hey, I have to go check in with the General, alright? I’ll see you on the Bridge after I get BB-8.”

“Right.” Kaydel straightened up, fiddled with her shirt until the fabric was smooth, and regarded Poe with her I-Am-A-Lieutenant look. “I’ll see you there.”

“You know it.” Poe went to stick his head back into the infirmary to find BB-8 when Kaydel called back to him,

“Oh, Poe?”

Poe turned back. “Yeah?”

Kaydel’s smile had faded into something a little more serious. “Be careful; I got the vibe that maybe General Organa wasn’t as happy about the Dreadnaught at the rest of us. I don’t know if she’s going to be shaking your hand over it, is all I mean.”

Poe’s shoulders sank. There had been more than a few casualties on the run, and coupled with the fact that he’d disobeyed Leia’s orders directly and launched the attack anyway meant that he could guess easily enough why she was upset. Outside of the heat of the moment, the full realization that he had disobeyed a direct order made him wince, made his stomach turn with anxiety.

Crap.

“Thanks for the warning,” He said, trying to smile but knowing it was coming out strained. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

Kaydel nodded, something like concern flickering through her eyes before she turned and walked away.

Poe took a deep breath and fought to steady his hands, which were suddenly trembling. Once they had (somewhat, at least) he poked his head back into the infirmary and found BB-8 rolling around near Finn’s bed. “Hey little buddy, let’s go see the General. She wants to talk to us.”

<POE IS IN TROUBLE.> BB-8 blooped as he rolled towards the door.

Poe swallowed, feeling his face flush.

“Yeah, buddy, I’m in lots of trouble. So let’s just get it over with.”

-End

Poe Dameron stood at the edge of the flight line, the long line of X-Wings, Y-Wings and an assortment of transports and other ships glinting in the pale moonlight.

He couldn't say what had drawn him to that exact spot, but he'd stood there, arms crossed, for some time, just staring out at the stars, his mind curiously blank for all that remained to do after the battle with the Emperor's fleet.

It had been just days since the final, decisive battle for the future of the galaxy. Somehow, it felt a lot longer than that. Of course, it seemed like they'd been at this for a lot longer than it had actually been, so time was certainly relative. Still, he could hardly believe that the thing he'd dedicated his entire adult life to—well, so far, anyway—was over. And despite the fact that there was plenty to do to help the Republic reunite and recover from the darkest days of the First Order, he felt a little at loose ends.

"Here you are."

Poe glanced over his shoulder to find Kaydel Connix standing a little way away, hands parked on her hips, head tilted just so. He smiled briefly; Kay had always had the ability to find him, no matter where he was. He'd suspect she was using the Force if he didn't know she wasn't Force-sensitive. Although, given that Finn had turned out to be sensitive, maybe it wasn't as ridiculous as he'd thought.

"Here I am," Poe muttered as he returned to staring out at the stars. 

He felt rather than saw her step up beside him and run her hand down his arm. She easily threaded her fingers through his and leaned into him, just staring up at the same starscape he was seeing. When her head dropped onto his shoulder, he huffed a laugh.

"You comfortable?"

"Eh," she said, shrugging one shoulder. "It'll do. Nice view, though. Same one from last night. And the night before. And the night before that."

And just like that, he was busted.

He'd ducked out of the celebration to see Zorii Bliss off in her ship, and then he'd just… never gone back. 

"You're not the only one, you know," she said.

He glanced down at her, one eyebrow raised. "Not the only one what?"

"You're not the only one wondering what comes next," she said. "Some have only been at this for a little while, but they don't know whether they're supposed to just go back to the lives they had before or if they should stay. Help rebuild."

"And the rest of us have been at it so long that we don't know anything else," he said, finishing her thought. "Yeah."

"I think we all expected her to be here to tell us what's next," she said quietly. "I mean, we're supposed to be celebrating, but it feels… wrong somehow, to celebrate when she's gone."

Poe took a deep breath, the pain still as sharp as it had been the moment he'd found out that General Leia had passed. She'd recruited him, back in the day, told him that there was so much more he could be doing to preserve peace and stability in the galaxy. Poe hadn't really needed to be sold; the Republic's hands-off attitude toward the First Order had rubbed him so wrong there weren't really words for it.

But while she'd trained them to face the most imminent threat, they hadn't really trained for what came after. Of course, they'd all expected the New Republic would be there to bring everyone together once the First Order had been defeated. Now, they were facing a galaxy once again in need of rebuilding, and Poe had not a single clue where to start.

Truth was, he wasn't a politician. That was an issue for someone for whom 'shoot first, ask questions later' wasn't a personal mantra.

"She'd want us to celebrate," Poe said, heaving a sigh. "She wouldn't want us to mourn her. She wasn't that kind of person. She was all about the victory, about doing the best she could to bring peace to the galaxy."

"Seems like maybe you missed the party," Kay said.

He looked down to find her smirking at him. He turned and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, resting his chin on her head as she snuggled into him, looping her arms around his middle. Her deep, relieved sigh made him feel guilty for having practically ignored her the last few days.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Better, now," she said, the smile evident in her words.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Sorry I've been ignoring you. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind."

"It's okay," she said. "We all have."

"What do we do now?" he asked quietly.

"We go to bed," she said. "We get some sleep and then we get up tomorrow and do the next thing."

He chuckled. "That's it? 'Do the next thing'? What if we don't know what the next thing is?"

"Stop," she said. She pulled back and looked at him. "Just stop. Stop worrying. Stop thinking. Just stop."

"I don't know if I can do that, Kay," he said, shaking his head. "I'm a pilot. I've never been really good at just doing nothing."

"You know, we've been fighting this war for a long time," Kay said. "Some longer than others. It's okay if the next thing is nothing at all. Maybe what we really all need is a day off. Time to reconnect with each other and remember who we are, deep inside. The people we were before all this."

"And what if who I was before isn't someone you want to know?"

"Not all of us joined the Resistance from the womb, you know," she said. "Besides, you think I don't know who you used to be? There isn't a thing you did that she didn't know about. And what she knew about, I knew about. You're not as mysterious as you think you are."

"And it doesn't bother you?" he asked. "Who I used to be?"

"Who you used to be made you into the man you are today," she said. "And that's the man I love. So no, it doesn't bother me. We're all the sum of our experiences. She knew that better than anyone."

"Yeah, she did," he said. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, a gentle, sweet kiss full of promise. When he pulled back, she was smiling at him, brighter than the sun over Ajan Kloss. "Thanks."

"For what?" she asked.

"For being you," he said, smiling down at her. "For being so easy to love. For loving me. Just, thanks."

"You are welcome," she said, her smile growing even brighter, if that were possible.

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all," Poe said. "Now that the war is over, I can spend more time with you."

"You sure can," she said brightly. "We have lots to do. We need to organize the new fleet and recruit some more troops. Oh, and someone's got to start assembling a new Senate. Leaving a power vacuum isn't a good idea. And then—"

He lay a finger over her lips, cutting off the flow of words. "It can wait. Just for tonight, I want to enjoy the stars with my girl. You game?"

"I like the way you think," she said as she snuggled closer. "And then maybe we can relocate to your quarters."

"Something on your mind?" 

"I'm too tired for that," she said, pinching his side.

He laughed. "Me too. But I would very much like to wake up next to you in the morning."

"I think that can be arranged," she said.

"And maybe the morning after that," he said. "And the morning after that."

Kay leaned back. "Something on your mind?"

"Just thinking about the future," Poe said, smiling. He pecked her on her lips. "Something I haven't been able to do for a very long time."

"Well, whatever the future holds, we'll face it together," she said. 

"Together," he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too," she said with a smile. "Me too."

~Finis

Six months after the Battle of Crait, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren requests an in-person meeting with the last Jedi, Rey of Jakku. Together, they will decide the fate of the galaxy. *formerly "Kneel"*

The resistance built itself a huge starfleet. The final few imperial loyalists have lured the fleet into a trap which decimated the fledgling republic. The galaxy is plunged back into darkness. The last jedi is dead. The spark is out. there is no hope

By the way, these beautiful Fanarts of them are not mine and the credits are not for me, but I will let you know that right here I am going to leave you the link of the real creator on Tumblr.