#kat alyst

This year kind of sucked. There’s been a lot of struggles with asshole professors, inconsiderate students in colleges, breaking it off with my boyfriend in March, my father’s cancer returning and becoming likely to kill him in the next year, and my art having taken several hits and falling apart. It’s bizarre for me to not want to draw, but I’ve felt drained after doing nothing. Everything feels uncertain and scary right now. And for a long time, I’ve been alone, incredibly alone. It’s not a good feeling. 

But for all the bad that’s happened, there’s been some good too. I got to fulfill a few dreams, like photographing fireworks over Cinderella’s Castle at the beginning of this year. After two awful match-ups, I now have the most wonderful roommate in the universe, someone who’s encouraged me to embrace my inner fangirl and be free to love the things I love. Geeking out over things with her is amazing, and god, I needed it. @exbarbiegirl Thank you for lighting up my life, love you to pieces. And for the first time in my life, I had a surprise party thrown for me for my birthday. I’ve never had friends who have done that before, and I think I cried a little. A ton of my friends from home have moved away, but we’ve gotten closer over Skype, and I made two of them so happy with mailing some cookies I baked this Christmas. I’ve been asked to voice in a fan game called Sonic: Shattered Realities as of this past summer, which has been a dream of mine for a long time. That project, along with Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces has renewed my love for the series, and I’ve gotten better about staying away from the petty bickering in the fandom.

And on top of that, while I’m still not into the horror genre, Bendy and the Ink Machine came into my life, and that’s been a blast too. I think this in particular is notable for a variety of reasons. I’m not a quitter by any means, but in this semester, I began to wonder if maybe I’d made the wrong decision when it came to being a graphic designer. But Bendy has a takeaway from it that I needed to hear, and it’s changed my mind. There will ALWAYS be a Joey Drew that tries to take advantage of you, no matter who you are, but you can’t let one person control your life. On the other side of the coin, meeting someone you never expected to meet can change the course of your life, and the amazing people I’ve met in this fandom never fail to put a smile on my face.

In particular, a huge thank you to @devilsroost . Jess, you and everyone in the Discord server are amazing people, and it’s so wonderful to have met you all. No one parties like the Roost!

And how could I forget @nyrandrea, @mythmica, @star-going-supernova, and @shinyzango? All of you inspire me, and I look forward to seeing what you post every time I log on. You do what you love, that’s something to celebrate, and I’m glad I learned of your existences at the tail end of this year. I’ve learned a lot from enjoying your content, be it about storytelling, art, or comedy, it’s all valuable and I hold it close to my heart. But there’s one person that stands out, who’s probably gonna be broken after I’ve said this. You probably saw this coming @themarginalartist, there’s not a day that passes where I don’t want to compliment you. Where do I even begin? I wouldn’t be back to roleplaying or writing if not for you, and as I tell it to most people when the subject comes up, drowning in ink ended up setting me free. You are an inspiring human being. I’ve learned so much about a ton of things from you, be it talking to you, watching your livestreams, or just reading and weeping a little at the precious amounts of angst. You give me a reason to believe that nothing is impossible, and with enough belief (and more importantly, effort), we’re more than just sheep. 

So even if things didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, I’m still glad I did more than just survive 2017. It’s been an adventure, and starting in a few days, a new one is about to begin, and I’m gonna tackle it with a sketchbook in hand. In the words of Gomez in The Addams Family Musical “Let’s live before we die, let’s laugh before we cry, let’s hold each other tight, and dance.” I’m determined to make it the best year ever, both for myself and for my family. My dad’s always said to live life to the fullest, and with him dying, I need to embrace that notion, now more than ever. I’m gonna do my best for both of us and start working on some dreams. Because after all, dreams can come true, but only if you work hard, and smart, to do it.